Our addictions originate not in uncontrollable desires but in unmet needs

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
thank you our addictions are not just results of uncontrollable desires they are often the results of unprocessed emotions when we go through life and especially when we find ourselves getting overwhelmed by certain unsavory desires when we find ourselves captivated overwhelmed overwhelmed by certain desires that impel us to certain actions overeating compulsive cell phone use uncontrolled net browsing workaholism shopaholism alcoholism drug addiction whatever it may be we often try to work at the level of those behaviours if we understand that that this behaviour is harmful then we try to give it up and the way we try to give it up is by resolving I will never do this again I will not do this again and yet after some time we find that we are doing it again and again and yet again so at such times when we are seeing ourselves succumbing again and again to unhealthy desires what can we do we need to work at purifying ourselves by processing the emotions that were unprocessed as long as those emotions stay unprocessed we will not be able to handle whatever life sends our way that means that if I have a feeling of loneliness if I have a feeling of unworthiness if I feel that nobody cares for me that nobody loves me and nobody will love me then that feeling is at the root of my insecurity and my insecurity my neediness I try to resolve say by compulsive drinking so when we don’t recognize the root cause of our behaviors when we succumb to those behaviors without and when we resist those behaviors also without understanding why they are being caused then we get caught in a vicious circle we get caught in a it’s like we are uprooting the tree but rather we are cutting off the tree but the roots are still there and then the roots will grow again if we are to if you want to address the roots you want to remove the roots that means we have to address the problem at the root so rather than thinking that you know if I am over eating it is not just because I am so I have uncontrolled tongue you know we usually over eat because something is eating us something is eating us means that something has made us feel insecure something has made us feel worried something has made us feel distressed and then we want some relief from that distress and if we don’t give ourselves that relief because that relief is our need we cannot deny it for long we have to address it in some way or the other either we address it we understand what is the underlying need and then we address it in a healthy way or we will be pulled to address it we will be pushed towards addressing it in a unhealthy way and even if I address it somehow by will power stop addressing it in an unhealthy way because the underlying need is there that need is going to make us do that thing again just like say if water has filled a tank and still water is coming into it the water that has filled the tank has to come out some way or the other if there is one hole in that tank from which the water normally comes out one place where the tank is a little weak or the water starts pouring out and then when we say hey why is this water leaking out like this so then we go and seal that tank seal that particular hole in the tank but then if the water is being filled over there then the water has to come out and the place where we may have sealed sometimes when we seal the original material very strong and the sealing material is not that strong then we find ourselves so the water pressure inside the tank is going to build up and again that place the crack is going to come and from that water is going to seep out and then rush out again we may seal it now at one level sealing the leaking water tank is enough it is important but at another level if say that hole is at the upper part of the that weakness in the tank is at the upper part of the tank then if you manage the water supply in the tank so that it does not become so much so we can prevent the overflow beyond the particular level and then that problem will be addressed so water overflowing is one problem but the root is that the water is coming too much inside the tank that is why it is overflowing so just as we can actually tackle the water overflow in a tank from a tank by checking the inflow into the tank like that when there is an outflow of our consciousness in the form of self defeating actions we need to check the inflow of disrupting emotions into our consciousness just causing that outflow in the form of self defeating actions so when we get to the root of the problem when you understand that we can’t address things superficially we need to go deep and focus on purifying ourselves not just in terms of just doing some activities that lead to purification but rather actually addressing and healing underlying emotional issues so if I am overeating because something is eating me then I have to find out what is it that is eating me so if that is insecurity that is unlovability feelings of worry whatever it is then we go back and address that and once we have addressed that we will find that other things will become much easier to address so if I address my feelings of loneliness by making friends may not be able to make many friends but even if I have one or two friends with whom I can reciprocate with whom I can connect properly then even that can help me to feel the emotional connect and that emotional connect when it is felt that can protect me from the behavioral disruption that happens because of compulsions so the process of bhakti yoga which connects us with Krishna is the ultimate way we can heal our emotions at the same time the connection with Krishna and the healing thereof doesn’t happen only in one way that means at one level Krishna may give us the higher taste the sense of fulfillment through our absorption in Krishna and that protects us at another level Krishna may also give us the sense of the sense of discretion the intelligence by which we can get proper insights the intelligence by which we can understand what is the problem so in a war our faithfulness is to the purpose in a war our focus has to be on the purpose of winning the war our faithfulness doesn’t have to be using a particular weapon to win the war similarly when we want to win the territory of our heart and offer it to Krishna for some people it may be that just by chanting praying to Krishna worshipping Krishna the emotional issues will automatically be healed but for those whom they are not healed that way they may be of a different nature and they may be of a more analytical nature and then analyzing sattvaat sanjayate jnanandadami buddhi yogam tam in using the intelligence that we get from the purification from the mode of goodness the purification coming from connection with Krishna from the mercy of Krishna through it all also we can become purified in the sense that we can get the intelligence for processing our emotions appropriately and when we process the emotions and address the underlying unmet needs then we will find that the uncontrollable behaviors will not be so uncontrollable will not be pulled or pushed so compulsively towards those behaviors because it was not that the desires the specific desires they were so strong it was the underlying need that was so strong and somehow our mind had made us believe that that need okay my loneliness how will I deal with it you can you can medicate that loneliness by the comfort of food but then that becomes a bad cycle where the more we eat the more physically inflated we become and then the more we are attractive we become and the more lonely we feel again because we feel we are physically unattractive and thus this cycle goes on and on so so uncontrollable desires addictions stem not just from uncontrollable desires but from unmet needs this understanding can drastically transform our capacity to understand ourselves and master ourselves thank you