Overcoming negative emotions

Overcoming negative emotions 1 – Resentment

Overcoming negative emotions 2 – Depression

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Overcoming negative emotions 3 – Fear

Overcoming negative emotions 3 fear from Chaitanya Charan

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Overcoming negative emotions 4 – Overcoming anger through forgiveness

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Overcoming negative emotions 5 – Self-doubt

Disclaimer: This transcript was generated using AI and may contain occasional errors or inaccuracies.

I started by talking about anger. When it comes, first of, we can't say, I won't become angry. It doesn't work.

It indicates that something is important for me. What exactly is important, we try to understand that. And secondly, anger allures by giving a sense of power.

But what it does is, it gives that person power over our thoughts. It's a compulsive thinking about that person. So power is of use only when it is regulated.

Like nuclear power or electric power or hydroelectric power or whatever it is. So, similarly the power within us, anger promises us, but it becomes unregulated. And it leads to worsening of situation.

So to deal with anger, we can't wish away the anger. But what we can do is, what is really important for me? And what is it that I want to achieve? What is it, I should have worked out, it didn't work out. So for processing this, the first thing is, not say, no, I will not feel like this.

Yes, I am going to act on this thing. No. Pause.

Let me decide. So normally when somebody does something wrong, their action is a fact. Our feeling is strong, it is real for us, it is important for us.

But based on our feeling, we make a value judgment. So if we went down the value judgment, that person becomes defensive. And the situation becomes worse, worse.

Because they become defensive and then they become counter-attacking. They become, they attack us and we just trade labels against each other. And the issue is forgotten.

So the three modes are ways in which our mind thinks. And I talked about how in the mode of goodness, there is contemplation and then action. In the mode of passion, there is first action and then contemplation.

And in the mode of ignorance, there is neither contemplation nor action. So with respect to anger, in the mode of ignorance, we just feel sorry for ourselves and stay back. Then people trample over us.

Which is definitely not recommended. Then in passion, we become aggressive. We hit back at others.

But aggression means what? We just make value judgments against them and they hit back. Aggression leads to aggravation. So beyond that is? Assertiveness.

Assertiveness means we start with the facts, tell our feelings and give a reason for those feelings. And that opens the channel for communication. And with the channel opened, if they are ready to understand and reform, then things can become better.

So forgiveness is not forgetting. Forgiveness is not condoning. Forgiveness is not trusting.

Forgiveness is letting the past stay in the past. Now how we move forward in the future? There are two possibilities. If that person reforms, then we upgrade from forgiveness to trust.

They burn the trust. If they don't reform, they continue to hurt us, to disappoint us. Then we may have to, we still have the forgiveness as an emotion.

We are not acting out of vindictiveness. But we may take corrective action for educated purpose. So that they don't hurt us again.

So that they don't hurt others again. Keep hurting others. So if we make revenge the motivation of our life, then gradually that revengefulness will become a disposition.

And we will find some other prong to get involved. Some other score to settle. And our life will go in that.

Say in a crowded place, we are going, somebody pushes us. Our purpose is not just to keep pushing them back. Our purpose is to get.

So when we face unhealthy behavior from someone, hurtful behavior. Three options, change ourselves, change others or walk away from that situation. Which one we choose depends on our broader sense of perspective.

The spiritual wisdom gives us a higher purpose. By which we don't make pushing others to push us the main thing of our life. We make going to our destination the main purpose.

And then somebody is obstructing us from going to the destination, we push back. And move on. So our purpose, we can all have different ambitions in our life.

Our ultimate purpose is based on our essential identity. We are souls on a multi-lifetime journey of spiritual evolution. Evolution in wisdom, evolution in love.

We are parts of the whole and we have an eternal relationship with the whole. So in developing that relationship through devotion, through contribution in this world. That is the driving purpose of our life.

Then based on that we can see which, whom to push back at, whom to just neglect and move on. Or whom to tolerate. That positive intent will give us the perspective by which we can overcome anger.

And as we are processing our emotions, even if we are being hurt. Some places the scars will heal, some places the scars will remain. But when life hurts us, if we learn to evolve through that.

Then we will actually, not only heal, but we will become tougher at the places. And we find that the incidents where we were hurt, they were the incidents which fostered. Thank you very much.