Positive Thinking 14 – Understanding willpower 1 – Beyond genes, upbringing and association

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Transcript

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Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, welcome back to our discussion, on positive thinking, we discussed till now, the idea, the fundamentals of spirituality, IDEA, and IDEA at work, now we move on to another related topic, that is, willpower, so, how does, what determines our willpower, how does the spiritual understanding of life, expand our understanding of willpower, and expand our capacity, to tap our willpower, so, some people, when, they recognize that they, have a habit to think negatively, or, they have a habit to think non-spiritually, anti-spiritually, and, when it is recommended that they change, they say, oh, this is just the way I am, I can’t, I can’t change, this is what I am, take it or leave it, actually, it is not, for others to take it or leave it, it is for us also, that, we, will undercut our potential, if we think, that we are deterministic creatures, that, that, whatever our nature, whatever we are, that is unchangeable, so, we will discuss, now, five factors, that shape, human behavior, before that, let’s look at a, important quote, which demonstrates, the importance, of the willingness to change, before, we can have the willpower to change, so, this is, a quote by, Marilyn Ferguson, no one can persuade another to change, each of us, guards a gate of change, that can only be opened from the inside, we cannot open the gate of another, either by argument, or by emotional appeal, so, this is an important point, no one can persuade anyone else to change, so, no one can gate crash, into, our heart, and, change our heart, we have to change it, so, this, is something, which we will come back to once again, let’s look at five factors, which shape our behavior, before that, let us look at, the, some ideas, which seem to justify, which seem to rationalize, the notion, that our behavior is unchangeable, now this, in psychological terminology, this is called a theory of determinism, determinism, actually is the opposite of determination, determination means, a strong result in something, whereas determinism, means that there is, that the things are as if mechanical, this cause will produce this effect, and this stimuli will evoke this response, and when we recognize this, then, we are, if we consider ourselves as deterministic beings, then, there is no scope left for willpower, for free will, or for doing anything more, so, there are some deterministic theories, which try to explain human behavior, and, these can be broadly classified as, genetic determinism, psychic determinism, and social determinism, so, genetic determinism, we could put it in lay language as, my grandparents did it to me, that means, this is the genes that I have got, and, this is the way, our family has been generation after generation, and this is how I am, so, I am a product of my genes, and not just I am a product, but I am a predetermined, unchangeable product of my genes, so, some people may say that, okay, why are you so irritable? I am irritable because that’s in my genes, my parents were irritable, my irritable, my grandparents were irritable, and, you know, they say the fruit never falls far from a tree, that means, the children will be the same way that the parents, the grandparents were, and that’s how it’s going to go on generation after generation, so, this theory, yes, genes do affect some aspects of our, of our bodily constitution, and some extent of our psychological makeup also, but, they don’t determine our behavior, so, there are monozygotic twins, who have identical genes, and still they have different behaviors, they have their different, almost different behaviors, but they are entirely different individuals, with their own moods, their own personalities, so, we are not the product of our genes, genes are one factor that influence, but we are not determined by our genes, the second notion is the notion of, psychic determinism, psychic determinism is the idea that, you could put it in lay language, as my parents did to me, that means the way, they, they brought me up, now that has shaped me, so, yes, it’s true that, our upbringing, especially the kind of impressions, and training that we get, during our cognitive years, that plays a huge role, in our becoming who we become, so, there’s no doubt that, the upbringing, is a significant shaper of our, character and behavior, but, is it a determiner, no, it isn’t, it isn’t, we need to recognize that, there are many cases of people who say, somebody may say that, oh, I have a alcohol problem, why, I have a drinking problem, because my parents had a drinking problem, no, but there are many well documented cases, of parents who are alcoholics, but the children, remain sober throughout their lives, and even if they had, got into alcohol in their childhood or their youth, they gave it up, so, we, our upbringing will definitely affect us, and sometimes some negative, say the alcohol may be an extreme example, somebody may say that, oh, I have an inferiority complex, because, my parents always compared me with my elder sibling, and he or she was, cleverer than me, I would never get as many marks as, they got, and that’s why, I have this inferiority complex, well, we don’t have to let that person, dominate our life, yes, so, that, may be, there is a difference between a shaper and a determiner, that sort of upbringing, does shape our life, but it does not, determine our lives, so, we are not, psychically determined also, we are not determined by our upbringing, the third notion is, social determinism, social determination, sorry, determinism, is the idea that, my association, the people around me are doing it to me, so, the idea is that, oh, why am I, irritable, because I am surrounded by irritating people, I am surrounded by people who are irritating, and who are irritable, why am I alcoholic, because I, I have always been surrounded by, people who are alcoholics, why, am I particular like this, because, that’s how the people around me are, now, certainly, the social factors, do affect our behavior, but this is also a shaper, now, we see many times, in a particular society, in a particular culture, there may be, a certain kind of, people with certain mindsets, and suddenly, somebody who is entirely of a different mindset emerges, you know, in a culture where, there is not much appreciation for music, suddenly a musical genius appears, and then that musical genius may not be appreciating those circles also, but that person goes elsewhere, where music is appreciated, and he gets appreciated there, then his people, hometown people also start, appreciating him, so, the point here is, that yes, our social circles does influence us, but it does not determine us, so, the fundamental error of these deterministic theories, is that, they conflate shapers with determiners, these are, so our genes, our upbringing, and our social circle, our association, all these shape our behavior, but they don’t determine our behavior, and beyond these three factors, are two more factors which are critical, and these factors, are what, spirituality, informs us about, and empowers us in, so what those two factors are, we will discuss in our next talk, thank you, Hare Krishna,