Rama Navmi class – Glory Revealed Amid Adversity

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Hare Krishna. Today on the occasion of Ram Navami, we are discussing about the glories of Lord Ram as revealed specifically through the pastimes of Lord Ram being exiled. In the normal course of life, we don’t realize the character of a person as thoroughly, as deeply as we realize it during adversity.
Normally, a person is, so how well built a person is, how strong someone is, we don’t realize, say, unless they face a challenge. If somebody has to lift up a huge suitcase, and they lift it up effortlessly, then we understand, oh, this person is really strong. Or if there is a suitcase to be lifted and they are not able to lift it at all, then we understand, oh, maybe this person, I thought they were strong, but not that strong.
So, it is when challenges come up, it is when adversities come up, then what lies inside a person is revealed, their character is revealed. So, today I will focus on primarily the interaction of Ram with Kaushalya and we look at the gamut of emotions they both went through as they tried to grapple with the calamity that had befallen them. How Ram tried to minimize Kaushalya’s distress and how Kaushalya eventually came to terms and accepted what fate had brought upon her.
Kaushalya is a character in the Ramayana who is often not much focused on. She is understood to be a fount of maternal devotion and that is important. But beyond that, it’s not that easy to appreciate her simply because she is sidelined among the queens of Dashrath.
It is Kaikeyi who, although she plays an unfortunate role, she often is prominent. But here we will focus on how Kaushalya suffered enormously because of the decision to exile Ram and how Ram helped her to overcome that suffering, to come to terms with that suffering. In general, whenever we are suffering, what we want is that others should understand us that we should have a shoulder to cry on.
We should have someone to help us cope with that suffering. But if at that time when we are suffering and somebody else suffers more because of our suffering and we have to help them cope, then that really means we have to get out of ourselves. We have to very deeply come to terms with their distress, our distress and deal with it.
So to understand Ram’s character as revealed in his being exiled, we need to understand the magnitude of Kaushalya’s distress. Kaushalya was the senior most queen of Dashrath Maharaj. In those times, kings would often have many queens and the idea would be that when they would be living like this, the senior most queen would have the greatest respect.
But in this case, somehow Dashrath Maharaj became attracted to a younger queen Kaikeyi and he didn’t intend to neglect Kaushalya but she became neglected. Now she being a graceful, devoted lady, she took it in her stride and for her, her hope was that she would have a son and son would become the king and that would help her face the situation better. But unfortunately, that didn’t happen.
Unfortunately, something else happened. What happened was that after a long time of austerity and penance, she got a son and when she got her son also, what happened was that her son was not just an ordinary son. He was supreme, he was supreme lord and he was supremely extraordinary and wonderfully for her, Ram and all the other children, all the sons, they would get along very well.
Still it was her fondest dream that her son become glorious, her son become the next king. The parents live on to that through their children and many times when we are not able to do something in life, we are not able to gain something in life, we hope and dream that someone else, someone related with us, someone whose progeny will be able to do that. So, Kaikeyi showered, Kaushalya showered her love on Ram and it was her dream that her son become the king and just when the dream was to be fulfilled, there are sometimes people who do direct actions and there are others who act indirectly.
So, Kaushalya was performing her austerities so that Ram’s coronation would happen unimpeded. So, she had stayed awake performing prayers and fasting throughout the previous night and she was so busy in her devotional activities that she had no idea what had transpired elsewhere in the royal palace. So, after the news of Ram having been exiled by Kaikeyi spread, it spread like wildfire in the kingdom but nobody wants to be the deliverer of bad news and the staff in the palace of Kaushalya knew how much she loved Ram.
So, none of them delivered that news to her and the next morning when Ram came, when he saw that Kaushalya was sitting and still doing her prayers, she was fatigued because she had been awake all night and she had been fasting but simultaneously there was great joy on her face because her dream was coming true and suddenly what happened, she saw Ram’s face was so grey. What happened, Ram? What happened? In her joy, she didn’t notice it initially and she just said, oh Ram, have a seat. Offered him a golden seat, jewel seat and she said, have a seat and take some breakfast and then you can go to the palace, go to the court for the coronation.
Ram became grave and now she started noticing his gravity and she said, oh, what is the matter? So, mother, you have not heard what has happened. Actually, a great disaster has befallen us and he narrated the whole incident and he said, what is the use for me for this jewel mat? I will be now sitting on the bed of grass in the forest. What is the use for me of this opulent breakfast you are giving me? Henceforth, I will be living on fruits and roots.
Kaikeyi, Kaushalya collapsed to the ground on hearing this. We all have fears. We all have our nightmares.
We all dread that the things we hold very dear to us might just be ripped away from us. Now, sometimes or most of the times, many of our fears don’t come true. But sometimes, such things happen that they are worse than our worst fears.
They are worse than our nightmares. So, this was a situation like that for Kaushalya. Now, the world is plunged plunged in anxiety and almost inactivity because of the Corona crisis.
Now, we have, we may all have had many different fears, maybe a fear of losing our job, of wrecking a relationship or getting some kind of terrible disease. But few of us could have imagined that a pandemic might grip the world and bring the whole world to a standstill. So, when reality befalls, it can befall in the most devastating of ways.
So, Kaushalya was caught utterly unprepared. She knew that Kaikeyi was favoured by Ram, by Dashrath and to some extent, she expected that Dashrath would be partial to her. But she never expected this level of not just partiality, this was atrocity.
That not only was Ram being deprived of the kingdom, she loved Ram and she wanted the very best for Ram. And it would have pained her if Ram had not been made the king. But what pained her far more was that Ram was being sent away from her, sent to the forest, the same child whom she had cared for, whom she had dreamt about, whom she had offered the best of comforts, the best of food, the best of all that life could offer.
Now, he would have to go and live in the forest, deprived of everything, deprived of all royal comforts. So, this was far, far more painful for her and extremely difficult for her to be here. What could she do in such a situation? She knew that Ram wouldn’t jest, Ram wouldn’t lie and Ram wouldn’t jest about such a thing.
So, it was clearly true and she said, Oh Ram, how can I live in this forest? She said, just like a cow follows a calf, I will follow you into the forest. Now, this is a revealing example. Normally, it is the calf follows the cow.
The calf is hungry and the calf or the calf is alone and unsafe and the calf follows the cow. But here Kaushalya says that as a cow follows a calf, why the inversion over here? The idea is that she feels that Ram has to go to the forest and he is her son and she is going to follow him. So, normally the calf can’t live without the cow, but love is reciprocal and the cow also feels that I can’t live without the calf.
So, here Kaushalya is saying that if you are going, I will go you, I will go with you, I will follow you and at that time Ram says to her that, Oh mother, it is for me to go to the forest. It is I who have been exiled. It is not for you to go and then Kaushalya bursts out.
She is still graceful, but her heart is shattered at this point. Normally, when we feel that we have been deprived, that we have been betrayed, that we have been robbed, whatever grievance we might have about the person who has done that from the past, whatever they have done, it all bursts out and that is what happens to Kaushalya at this point. She said for a long time, I did not have a child and that was a great grief for me and finally I got a child and a child like you and that was a great joy and when I got a child like you, it was my fondest dream that you attain all the glory that you deserve, not just because you are my child, but because you are so glorious, because your character is so sterling.
Even before you were born, I lived in pain and privation because I was neglected by my own husband. I tolerated it and I got you, caring for you, loving you, made me forget all the privation that I had to go through, but now if Kaikeyi has gone to this extreme to have you exiled, with you gone, what will she not do? And if the king has allowed her to go to this extent, if the king has gone with her, then what will befall me? Why should I even live in a place where I am not valued or wanted, where my dreams are not just thwarted, but trashed without even the slightest consideration. When we are living, there are things that we live with and things we live for.
So, wealth, for example, is something that we live with. Say, for example, parents may earn a lot of money and money is, of course, a necessity for living, but for parents, it’s what they live with, but money is not just what they live with, they live for something. They live for maybe with all the money that they have, they want the child to be well-educated, to get the best of education, to have the best of career and to become happily situated.
So, they may live with money, but they live for their children. So, Kaushalya, she lived for Ram and when Ram was being taken away from her, at that time, she felt, what is the point of living? Now, to lose what we live with is distressing, but to lose what we live for is devastating and this was what she was experiencing and when she experienced this, she decided that I just cannot, I cannot lose Ram, I can lose the royal comforts, that those comforts were biting her from within because there was so much distress that she was going through because she had always felt neglected and slighted while she was in the kingdom and she decided that she just has to move on. So, at that time, Ram spoke to her gently and Ram told her that it is at this time, the king will need you the most.
I was with him and he feels betrayed and violated by Kaikeyi. Now, he did not send me to the forest with pleasure. It is at this time when he feels rejected, betrayed by Kaikeyi that he will need you the most.
If you reject him, if you abandon him, it will be unbearable for him. He will not survive. O Kaikeyi, O Kaushalya, O mother, please be by his side.
Now, this very passage actually reveals the character and the glory of Ram, who normally when we are in distress, we want others to amplify our distress, to vindicate our pain and then to join in our pain. It’s, we human beings have multiple necessities. The most fundamental among them are we need food, we need air, we need water and we need something to complain about.
It’s almost like a psychological necessity. Whatever situation we are in, we feel there’s something I want to complain about. So, in that situation, what do we do? It is important for us to find out how best we can move on in our life.
For that, it is important for us to be free from this complaining tendency. The Ramayana says that Ram is the ideal person. In what way is he ideal? Ideal is not just in how he walks or how he talks.
But the biggest test of idealness in life is when situations are non-ideal. Situations are not just non-ideal but the opposite of ideal. When situations are horrible, that time how we deal with it, that is the test.
The distress comes upon everyone in life. What differentiates the pure from the impure, the devoted from the non-devoted, the wise from the unwise is not that the wise, the pure, the devoted are free from distress. But rather they respond to distress in a way that decreases the distress, not increases it.
Bad things happen to everyone in life. The philosophical question worth asking is not why bad things happen to good people. That is a valid philosophical question.
But from the perspective of practical empowerment, a far more valuable question is when bad things happen to good people, what do good people do? And Ram demonstrates that. That rather than complaining or blaming, he tries to decrease the distress of Kaushalya. He reminds her of her duty and not in a didactic, instructive, judgmental way.
But he makes her feel needed. He shifts her vision of from being a conspirator, from being a victimizer to being a victim. Dashrath did not cause this atrocity, but Dashrath was also victimized.
And by that he removes whatever tension, anger, resentment might be there in Kaushalya’s heart toward Dashrath. And thus he helps solidify that bond. But this is expertise.
Whatever situation we are, whatever difficulties we may be in, it’s easy to complain, it’s easy to blame, it’s easy to resent. But what is easy in the beginning often becomes troublesome at the end. yatha dhagre amrutopamam pariname vishamiva.
The Bhagavad Gita says in 1838. The much tougher thing to do is think out. Some people think outside the box.
Yes, that’s true and it’s important. But the box that we all need to think out of is the box of our own self-centeredness. When we learn to think of something bigger than ourselves, of someone other than ourselves, then our own pains and our own problems don’t overwhelm us so much.
And for us in this situation, if we focus on that attitude of service, of contribution, how can I serve? How can I contribute? Then we will find that we will be empowered. That our own problems instead of burdening us, they will go off our mind. If we start focusing not on our troubles, but on the troubles that others are facing.
And if we strive to deal with those troubles, try to minimize those. So Ram’s greatness is seen not just in how heroically he fought and killed Ravana. Ram’s greatness is seen not in how he gracefully accepted the exile, but in how he helped others accept.
Life often brings unpalatable things upon us. And our character is sometimes our determination is seen. Some people say, I never take no for an answer.
I just do what I want and I get what I want. Well, that spirit might seem good. And yes, it’s important to be determined.
But our character is also seen in how we accept no, when life just gives us a no. And not only how we accept it, but how we help others to come to that acceptance. So Ram’s glory is revealed in this narrative of how he enables Kaushalya to gain acceptance.
So that is the Kaushalya Nandana Rama. The glory of Ram is that he helps. He helps, not only he overcomes his own distress, but he enables others to overcome their distress.
So we all can pray to Lord Ram on the occasion of Ram Navami, to please give us the strength to face the distresses that we go through and to help others in going through the distresses that they’re going through. In fact, in thinking about others’ problems, we find that our problems shrink. In thinking about our own problems, our problems expand.
And by learning to shift our focus to service, that is the ultimate way of thinking outside the box. That is the way the Ramayana teaches us this example. To think outside the box means to think outside our own pains and problems and to think of others’ pains and problems and to try to solve them.
And in that we’ll find that our own issues will get minimized, contextualized and sometimes in course resolved. Sri Ramachandra Bhagwan ki Jai. Thank you very much.
Hare Krishna. Is there any quick question related with the class? Thank you. So knowing God from Tattva means understanding his position, not just his personality.
That Ram is not just a historical figure, but Ram is a supreme person. And whatever he does is transcendental. So even when he seems to be passively accepting the sentence of exile without retaliating or resisting, that is not because of weakness, that is because of his love for his devotees, because of his supreme fortitude of character.
So that is to know the Lord not just as a character in a story, but to know him as a supreme Lord who manifests extraordinary virtues in stories that seem to be historical. That is to understand him in truth. Thank you.
Hare Krishna.