Selecting our association without being judgmental or offensive

Lecture Outline:

1. Association is the most precious blessing

2. Association with like-minded and affectionate devotees

3. Surrender is not just an emotion but also an action – surrender by choosing favorable association within devotee circle.

4. Two kinds of favourable association: that which inspires us to serve Krishna generically and that which inspires us in our specific service to Krishna

5. Inspiration from association can be cultural, intellectual or emotional.

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
mantra.
tulayam lave naapi na svargam na punar bhavam bhagvat sandhu sangasya martyanam kim utarsha saha So, tulayam lave naapi. Lava is a small fragment of a second. Tulayam means comparatively, compared to one fragment of a second.
tulayam lave naapi na svargam na punar bhavam even the attainment of heaven or the attainment of apavarga, that is liberation. That is not comparable. na svargam na punar bhavam So, martyanam kim utarsha saha martyanam means those who are destined for that.
What is comparable? Then what is more valuable? Bhagvat sandhu sangasya. Sanga means association. The word sanga also means attachment.
In the Bhagavad Gita, in 2.62 Krishna says bhayato nishayan pumsah sangas teshu pajayate So, when you contemplate on certain objects, then sanga, attachment for them comes. So, these two meanings of the word attachment, sanga one meaning is attachment another meaning is association. Both of them are actually related.
Because, according to our attachment, we choose association. And according to our association, our attachment develops. So, here the word is used bhagvat sandhu sangasya association of those who are associated with the world.
So, that is the most precious thing. Even more precious than the attainment of heaven or the attainment of liberation. Because, both of these or neither of these can provide lasting fulfilment.
They are temporary. Even liberation also cannot satisfy the heart’s longing for love. Only eternal fulfilment comes from developing love for Krishna.
So, bhagvat sandhu sangasya. Now, Chaitanya Mahaprabhu gave instructions to Rupa Sanatana Goswami quite elaborately. For 10 days and for 2 months.
So, Chaitanya Mahaprabhu when he he had 2 main travels. One was to South India, immediately after to Sanyas. So, that is described in the in the Madhya Leela of Shetty Chaitanya 6th chapter to 10th chapter.
And then, later on he stays in in Jagannath Puri. There it is described from 11th chapter to 15th chapter of the Madhya Leela. 13th chapter is the Ratha Yatra Bhashti.
And then 16th chapter onwards is North India tour. And that goes on to 24th chapter. So, in that the chapters 19 to 24 are the instructions to Rupa and Sanatana Goswami.
So, instructions to Rupa Goswami is one chapter. And then instructions to Sanatana Goswami are 5 chapters. 22 and 4. So, then in that he elaborately expresses the process of devotional service.
And based on those instructions Rupa Goswami has compiled the book Bhaktira Sambit Sindhu. Which is the Prabhupada rendered in English as Nectar of Devotion. So, now in that he has given based on Chaitanya Mahaprabhu’s instructions.
So, Chaitanya Mahaprabhu gave the principles. And when Rupa Goswami made the book Bhaktira Sambit Sindhu he took those principles and he added scriptural references for it. For example, we talk about one should worship Tulsi.
Then where in the scriptures does Tulsi talk about? Why should we worship Tulsi? What is the benefit of worshipping Tulsi? There are scriptural references for that. So, basically Bhaktira Sambit Sindhu, the format of the book is there are principles and there are references for the principles. Like that.
That’s the major point. So, in that also he talks about 5 potent forms of devotional service. He gives 64 items and within that the 5 potent among them he says one of them is association of devotees.
So, apart from that the other 4 are chanting of the holy names, worshipping the deity, going to the holy places and studying the Bhagwat. So, in one sense actually all of them connect us with Krishna in very potent ways. So, now association what exactly does it mean? These are the 5 potent principles but then when he is elaborating on this Bhaktira Sambit Sindhu he also uses some other qualification or more specific attribute description of association.
So, he says Sajatiya Asha Snigdha Sangha Sangha is association but what kind of association do we have? Sajatiya Asha Asha is desire or aspiration Sajatiya Sajati is sometimes used for of the same caste but here it is not caste. Here it is the kind of desires, the category of desires. So, Sajatiya Asha Sangha and then he says Snigdha.
Snigdha is affectionate. Those devotees are affectionate to us. So, even Vakthana Thakur also reiterates this and he says that we should have association of like-minded devotees.
In the community of devotees also we see that there are different devotees who come from different backgrounds and in one sense anybody who has the respect to Sir Krishna, who has the dedication to Sir Krishna is glorious and their association can benefit us. But at the same time in Bhakti there is always this dynamic conflict or the dynamic tension, not necessarily conflict, dynamic tension between our material side and our spiritual side. Now, this is not necessarily black and white.
It’s not necessarily that our material side is bad and our spiritual side is good. Some aspects of material side, we have desires which are because of lust, greed, anger. They are something which is to be given up.
But then, the whole principle of Bhakti is to connect the material with the spiritual. In the Vedic tradition, there are two approaches going towards transcendence. One is the divorce of matter and spirit.
That is the Jnani process. Not this. Not this.
So, you separate the matter from the spirit and then try to meditate how I am the spirit. So, in contrast, the process of Bhakti is not the divorce of matter and spirit but it is the harmonisation of matter with spirit. So, our spiritual purpose is there for our life and for that spiritual purpose we use the material.
So, broadly, we can say there are three if you consider a pendulum. So, the pendulum can have two extreme positions and one steady position. So, there can be three different attitudes to the material world.
So, there are the materialists who romanticise the world. That means, they say that Oh, this world is a beautiful place. There are so many enjoyable things in this world.
You can just enjoy and be happy. Now, this is not true because you think the world is temporary. That’s one side of the pendulum.
That is the path of karma. In karma, people romanticise the world. Just do this ritual, do this yajna and then you become happy.
Now, the other extreme to that is the path of Jnana which demonises the world. Demonise. Oh, this world is really a place of entanglement.
Don’t get involved. Just get out of it. So, for example, the Jnana Marga takes something else.
Don’t get entangled. That’s the idea. Bhakti is the balance between neither romanticisation nor demonization but utilisation.
We utilise the material in the service of the spiritual. So, even when we are utilising there can be this dynamic tension between the material and the spiritual. So, for example, suppose some devotee is very inspired or inclined towards book distribution.
And there is some other devotee whose inclination is more towards deep scriptural study. Now, if these two devotees come together at a transcendental level both are inspired to serve Krishna. But at a practical level, the way they feel inspired to serve Krishna is quite different.
Now, why is it different? It can be because of circumstances externally or it can be because of attitudes internally. We all have a particular nature psychophysical nature. And we will feel inclined to serve Krishna in a particular way.
So, that’s why just as we discriminate between devotees and non-devotees and we try to associate more with devotees similarly, within devotee association also we may have to discriminate. Now, which devotee association is inspiring to the other? So, this inspiration can be in two ways. One is at a transcendental level where just the association of that devotee inspires me to become a better devotee, to become a better servant of Krishna, to become more dedicated to my bhakti.
And the other could be that the way the devotee is serving Krishna, that way I feel inspired to serve Krishna. So, for example now if you look at Shri Prabhupada, he did many things. He himself distributed Bhakti Gauri magazine, he built temples, he started Ratha Yatra festivals, he managed, he started Gurukul.
So, now different disciples of his have taken up different aspects from his broad vision and they are trying to implement that. And similarly, his grand disciples may also take up different aspects of that mission. So, it’s important that when we associate with devotees, there is a difference between judging and discriminating.
The word discrimination today has a lot of negative connotations like caste discrimination or gender discrimination. But the word discrimination, maybe we can go with discernment instead of that. But the idea is when there is judgement at that time, a judge facing a court is situated at a higher position.
Everybody is at a lower position. So, to judge others means to put ourselves in a higher position and then you can say that this is right, this is wrong. So, as devotees, we are not judgemental.
We are not judgemental towards as far as possible, even towards materialists. So, we know that we are more fortunate than them. We are not necessarily better than them.
But even towards devotees, we certainly can’t be judgemental. But discriminating means seeing what is favourable for my mother and seeing what is not so favourable for my mother. There are six principles of surrender that are described by our Acharyas.
So, Anukulyas, when we see the six principles of surrender, normally we have some sort of idea, before we can do Krishna consciousness, the idea of surrender is seen a movie. Hands up. So, normally, if you see, the idea is surrender comes at the end of a war when there is defeat.
Now, if we see in Bhagavad Gita, Krishna tells Arjuna surrender. He says in 18.66. But what happens after surrender in 18.78? Arjuna has picked up his bow. Yatra Yogeshwara Krishna, Yatra Partha, Dhanur Bharaha.
Dhanur Bharaha refers to his having picked up the bow. At the start of the Bhagavad Gita, or at the end of the first chapter, in 1.46, we describe how Arjuna put aside his bow. So, now, Arjuna’s bow represents the soul’s determination to serve Krishna.
So, when we see perplexities in this world, complexities in this world, then they discard them. How can I serve Krishna? So, like that, as Arjuna puts aside the bow, we become perplexed, we put aside our determination to serve Krishna. By hearing Krishna’s message, Arjuna’s determination got restored and he picked up his bow.
Similarly, our determination can also be restored. The point is, here we see, normally, when there is surrender, then there is putting aside of the weapons and ending of the fight. But here we see, in surrender, Arjuna is surrendering and then there is picking up the weapon and beginning the fight.
So, surrender to Krishna is not passive. It is dynamic. So, now, if we see these six attributes of surrender that I described, आत्मनिक्षेपकातन्यः शडविधाशरणगतिः So, six items of surrender are described.
अनुपुल्यस्संकल्प except that which is favourable. प्रतिकुल्यस्यः वर्जन give up that which is unfavourable. तक्षिष्यत्ति विश्वा So, have faith that Krishna will always protect you.
आत्मनिक्षेपकातन्यः to understand that actually, I am worthless without Krishna. कार्पन्य कार्पन्य to feel great humility. गोप्तृत्रवे वर्णम्यः गोप्तृत्रवे वर्णम्यः Krishna will always maintain me.
Krishna will protect me. Krishna will maintain me. Now, you see, the last four of these are emotions.
Krishna will protect me. Krishna will maintain me. I am dependent on Krishna.
I am helpless without Krishna. These are more of emotions. But the first two are actions.
अनुपुल्यस्संकल्प पर्तिकुल्यस्स वर्णम्यः Select that which is favourable, reject that which is unfavourable. So, that means, surrender has this dynamic element to it also. That, for example, if I am chanting and I feel sleepy.
Now, at that time, surrender might mean getting up and walking or getting up and washing my face or something like that. Surrender is dynamic. So, that means, if we come in association of devotees, then we may say, now I am in the association of devotees, I am surrendering to Krishna.
But even within association of devotees, अनुपुल्यस्संकल्प पर्तिकुल्यस्स वर्णम्यः So, that association which we find inspiring, which we find favourable for our devotional service, we accept that. So, that would mean that although there can be many senior devotees, many inspiring, many devotees who are in their own way glorious, but we may not necessarily find their association inspiring. So, whose association we find inspiring, we take that association.
And through that we get our spiritual nourishment. So, now, in the there is this the desire to serve Krishna is far more important than the desires to serve Krishna. What does that mean? The desire to serve Krishna means the broad principle that I am serving Krishna and I should do bhakti to him.
The desires to serve Krishna are the specific ways I may serve him this way, somebody else may serve him another way. And in bhakti there are principles and there are preferences. The principle, for example, is that we should go to temple.
But the preference will be, okay, I like this temple more. I like that temple more. I like that temple more.
So, for example, now, we should pray. That is the principle. Now, some devotees may feel more inspired to pray to Krishna.
Some may feel inspired more to pray to Kulchitra Mahaprabhu. Some may feel more inspired to pray to their own spiritual master. Some may feel more inspired to pray to Nityanand Prabhu.
Some may feel more inspired to pray to Radharani. This preference is a matter of preference. So, in bhakti, often when the matter of preference is made into a matter of principle, then it becomes fanatical.
Matter of preference, if you make it into a matter of principle, then that can become fanatical. That’s why we will see sometimes that some devotee in a temple may be inspired by a particular spiritual master. And then that devotee gets a lot of inspiration.
But some other devotees who may be connected to Krishna through that devotee, they may not feel inspired by that particular spiritual master. Now, which spiritual master I choose, that’s a matter of preference. If somebody says, no, you are not getting inspired by my spiritual master.
Then what is being done, that is fanaticism. Why? Because the matter of preference is made into a matter of principle. So, same way, with respect to our… So, first is, we need to get the general inspiration to serve Krishna.
That is essential for all of us. But then once we start serving Krishna, then because all of us are individuals, so all of us will have, in one sense, difference of opinion about how to serve Krishna. So, and it’s always possible that there needn’t be only one right way of serving Krishna.
Because, especially if there are different devotees who are talented, then they may have a vision of serving Krishna in different ways. So, in some cases, when we are serving Krishna in a practical way, in the field, at that time we may have to see which is the best way to serve Krishna according to our understanding. And in that, if we have to evaluate, this is right, this is not right, then that is not considered offensive.
So, Prabhupada went to America and the spiritual master told him to write his books in America, in English. So, now Prabhupada’s English, he had learned it in Scottish Church College in 1920s. So, by the time he started writing his books in 1959-60, that English had already become a little obsolete.
And also, his English, from the grammatical point of view, was not all that sound. So, then he asked devotees to edit his books. So, at one time, when he was, normally Prabhupada would transcribe, or would speak, and devotees would transcribe, and Prabhupada would edit the book.
So, at one time, he had used a word that was not there in the dictionary. So, then, editors started having a discussion. So, one editor said, if a pure devotee has used a word, then rather than changing the words in his book, we need to change the dictionary.
And introduce that book in the dictionary. So, then, now, sentiment is good, but let’s ask Prabhupada. They went and asked Prabhupada.
Prabhupada said, no, change the word. Out of the word. Prabhupada said, look at the context, understand the meaning and use the right word.
So, he said that, the pure devotee, the purity of a devotee is in the intention of the service. But in the expression of that service, in the practical manifestation of that service, there can be, there can be variations in the standard. And if certain things have to be done to improve, then that has to be done.
For example, now, I also serve as an editor. Some of the sponsored sannyasis, gurus, I serve my spiritual master as editor. So, when I do that, then, at times, there are certain words which are, certain things which may not be proper.
So, now, as a disciple, I cannot correct my spiritual master. But if I am giving a particular service as an editor, then in a humble but proper way, I can say, this doesn’t seem to be this way, this one should be this way. So, whatever is required, I’ll have to present like that.
this sort of, this sort of assisting in a service, that means, if we have to do a service in a material field, then the material field has its own standards. And we may have a devotional intention in ourselves, that will please Krishna. Along with pleasing Krishna, we also want to attract people in this world.
And to attract people in this world, we need to present it in a quality way. So, when I was doing the editing for Kanak Maharaj, we had almost done the book completely. He is writing a second book now.
So, then when we were doing the second book, so, he told me, okay, now they have finished the book, you please proofread the book once for us. So, it’s called Journey Within. Journey Home was the first book, Journey Within is the second book, it will come soon.
So, when he wrote the book, then I started proofreading. So, he told me, it’s almost like a 300-page book. He said, okay, just do one proofreading, and tomorrow morning you can send the book for filing.
So, I said, okay, I’ll try. Then I started going through the proofreading. And then at one particular place, I found the word Bhakti Siddhanta.
It says S-I-D-D-H-A-N-T. So, I was missing out. So, then normally I would do the proofreading and then Maharaj would see it.
But Maharaj said, now we are doing the final things. You just tell me the changes and I’ll make them in the final draft. So, then I came there and Siddhanta, I told Maharaj, the spelling is not there.
So, Maharaj said, you pass the test. I warned him. Maharaj said, I deliberately made the mistake to see whether you’ll find it or not.
So, then I was shocked. Don’t worry, I was joking. So, anyway, the point is Maharaj was happy that I found the question.
Whether it was intentional or intentional, I don’t know. But, there is a particular level of competence which we have to achieve when we want to present a particular service to not just the outside world. Even when we want to do for Krishna also, we would like to offer the best to Krishna.
So, then, at such situations, if we have to work with some devotees and then we feel, okay, this is not right, this is not right. Sometimes, those devotees may take those evaluations personally and they may feel hurt. So, it is a delicate situation.
But then, there is a clear understanding. In general, when we start a project, it’s always good to make it clear that there are certain standards which we have to meet. And, if we don’t have those standards, then the service may not be effective in whatever way we want to serve Krishna.
So, then, if the standards are given and then we objectively tell, okay, this is not right, that’s why we can’t do like this, we’ll do like this. Then, even when we give some evaluations, that’s not necessarily offence. Primarily, we can have the word Arshna Uparad, or offence to a devotee, that can have a wide gamut of meanings.
So, at the broadest level, anything that hurts a devotee can be called Arshna Uparad, at the very broadest level. And, in general, we would not like to do anything which hurts anyone. But, that is not practically possible in this world.
There is already limited time, limited resources, we have to make choices. So, in some cases, some devotees may get hurt. So, if we come to know about it and we can minimise that, that’s good.
But, the serious offences are not those which hurt others, the serious offences are those which are done with the intention of hurting others. That means, there are two persons, there is A and there is B. In the interaction of A and B, ideally, both of them serve and both of them become inspired. That’s the best.
Then, there will be devotional synergy over there. But, sometimes, there can be some conflict. Now, B becomes hurt.
Now, B becoming hurt, is it a Vaishnava prayer? In a broad sense, we can say. But, that’s not a serious offence. It’s when A does something with the intention of hurting B. Then, that becomes a Vaishnava prayer.
So, that we need to avoid as much as possible. And, again, this is, so, basically, how things work is that if a devotee has a lot of inspiration to serve Krishna in a particular way, Prabhupada, he was himself a very strong-willed person. That’s how he could go at the age of 70 and travel and build an international movement.
And, because he was a strong-willed person, he also attracted strong-willed people. That’s how they also became leaders. But then, because his disciples were strong-willed, often they would have differences among them.
Now, when Srila Prabhupada found these sort of differences among them, he did not go too much into judging, you are right and you are wrong. Broadly, generally, what he would do is, he would just give them different services. He would encourage them, in general principle, that don’t have hostile feelings towards anyone.
But, if devotees need their space for serving Krishna, then that space can and should be given. So, in general, so, first I talked about the principle of serving Krishna. We take inspiration from whichever devotees give us, in principle, inspiration to serve Krishna.
But now, when we talk about the practise of serving Krishna, practically, when we are doing some services for Krishna, then, we will get primary inspiration from those who are Sajatiyas, those who have the same category of desire that we have. So, for example, if some devotee is a singer, then that devotee will get much more inspiration by associating with other devotees who are singers, discussing with them, learning from them, and relishing Bhakti in their association. So, same way, with respect to whichever service we are doing, it is natural to feel inspired by that association.
And, in that case, see, association can work at different levels. There is cultural association, there is intellectual association, there is emotional association. Cultural association means, one goes to a temple, and just the fact of taking darshan of the deity, offering obeisances, listening to devotees, talking with them, just going to that devotional meeting, that itself is refreshing, that itself is energising.
So, the intellectual association means, we sit and hear, discuss, study, and by that sort of serious philosophical churning, we learn something new. That is the intellectual association. And then there is emotional association.
Emotional association means that there are certain devotees with whom we have sweet relationships, and we feel inspired by their association. Now, that can be, we go and talk to them one-to-one, or we just go and attend, or be in their presence, whichever way it is. So, now, all these three are forms of association.
And depending on one’s nature, one may feel more inspired by one than by other. So, some devotees just feel inspired to go to temple. And then they just feel, I go to Mangal Aarti, I go in the temple, or I sit for the Lavratri class.
Now, they don’t need something very deep or very philosophical. The content of the class doesn’t matter so much. Just going in the temple atmosphere, sitting in the association of devotees, being in the devotional setting itself inspires me.
So, that is one kind of devotee. Each of us has to take inventory. Now, if it is the cultural association that is inspiring me, then that is what I will need to focus on.
There will be others who find the intellectual association more nourishing. That means, rather than just, okay, in temples and classes that I will go into the class, they would like something more structured. Are there some courses I would like to study one by one by one.
Or, if I go, there are some devotees, after the class, they would like to ask questions. I don’t understand this. I want to understand this.
And these devotees, generally these will be a little bit, these devotees will be more Brahminically orientated. They have a more intellectual nature. And it is quite possible that the normal classes in the temple, the intellectual association is that which gives the intellectual nourishment.
And then emotional association is the association of those devotees whom we care for, who care for us, maybe their counsellors, our mentors, our spiritual master, other devotee guides. So, then, although, so then that means, you know, if those devotees come to our house or we go to their place or whatever, then just being in their presence inspires us. So, like that we choose whichever association is inspiring for us.
And in that way, we can be spiritually nourished. So, association is a matter of careful choice. And the liberal principles in general, but how to take that association, how to get inspiration from that association, it’s a matter of careful choice.
And if we make this choice properly, then we can advance steadily in our devotional life. So, to summarise, we have started by talking about how association is the most precious thing, more than even attainment of Heavens or liberation. But what does association mean? Rupa Goswami says that associating with affectionate, devoting, affectionate and like-minded devotees.
And then we discussed that like-mindedness in two terms. In terms of first, the spiritual principle of inspiring us to serve Krishna. Just by their conduct, by their words, by their example, some devotees inspire us to serve Krishna.
The other is in terms of practise. Whatever service we are doing, it’s natural that we will be attracted to the association of other devotees who are also doing similar services. When we are doing that, we have to choose anubhudeh sankalpa to become the savarajya.
Surrender is dynamic. So, when we surrender in association of devotees means, not that we judge by putting ourselves above other devotees, but we discriminate by saying what will inspire me, what will not inspire me. And that way, when we associate with devotees who also have a desire to serve Krishna in a way that we would like to serve, then we can grow nicely in the association.
And lastly, I talked about how there can be an association, there can be cultural association, intellectual association, emotional association. And whichever inspires us the most, that is what we focus on and that’s how we grow. Thank you.