Should birthday celebrations for devotees’ children be banned?

From Jaya Krsna Prabhu

It increases bodily identity; it is not a part of our tradition; it is simply a wastage of money

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-nYWK0lAk8

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
be banned because they reinforce the bodily identity because they are not traditional and because they are just a waste of money they are a Western import into India answer this is a question by Jaya Krishna Prabhu who has posted a comment on my earlier answer on our birthday celebrations authorized so they’re essentially I said the form may be new but the substance of expressing affection is fine so now regarding this question about should the birthday celebration be banned first of all I am NOT on the campaign that to introduce or to promote birthday celebrations I’m only going to talk a prince about a principle of how culture needs to be applied sensitively and room has to be given for time play circumstances so firstly regarding the birthday celebrations increased bodily identification now we do know that we are not the body with a soul but we have we can’t wish away our material existence we have to work our way out of it so we see that in the Bhagavata 2.13 Krishna tells Arjuna that we are not the body we are the soul but then immediately in 2.14 he uses two names for Arjuna both of which are connected with the body Matras, Parshastu, Kaunteya, Shitoshna, Sukha, Dukha, Daha, Agama, Apayino, Nityas, Tamas, Dikshas, Bharata, Kaunteya and Bharata son of Kunti and illustrious descendant of the Bharata dynasty in fact out of the 25 names that Krishna uses for Arjuna 14 are connected with the body and many of them are we could say that they just want to increase bodily consciousness Purud, Deha, Deha, Bhritamvara best of embodied beings now we could say that the body is like a jail and then body is like a prison dress so what is so great about having the best dress in the prison why is Krishna glorifying that Deha, Deha, Bhritamvara and then Purusha Vyagra you are the lion among men now this is such a you could say this is such a glorific epithet that will stimulate and titillate the male ego oh I’m a man and I’m a lion among men so why is the Bhagavad Gita using such bodily references for Arjuna now we might say actually it’s just a functional reference that yes we are the souls but as long as we don’t know the soul’s original identity we have to refer to the person by a name yes if that functional purpose was the only purpose then Krishna could have used just one name and that name did not have to be so connected with the body directly but Krishna uses not only names connected with the body but a variety of names so if we look at 2.14’s context that is that actually Krishna is telling Arjuna tolerate so Arjuna gets a natural question after hearing that I’m not the body in the soul but still bodily pains do feel as pains for me and what can I do about it so Krishna tells tolerate now tolerance is not easy so yes Arjuna you are a great person you are a illustrious person a son of a great mother Kunti a scion of a great dynasty the Bharata dynasty and therefore you can do great things you can do things which are not difficult which are not easy so tolerance is difficult but surely you are a person of honor coming from an honorable background therefore you can do honorable things so the Bhagavad Gita sets the example by using these honorifics connected with to inspire one on the path of Dharma so the path of Dharma is often difficult and demanding and it can be discouraging so one need we often need encouragement and one prominent source of encouragement is appreciation so appreciation can come not only for one’s diligent practice of bhakti but it can also come for one’s material attributes which are not contrary to bhakti principles so that the cognition of one’s material attributes can also give them appreciation and then that inspires one to yes let me do this diligently and it is not just because Krishna is because Krishna Arjuna and Kunti are both devotees the names are used there are so many not everybody in the Bharata dynasty is a devotee and then similar body connected epithets are used throughout the Bhagavatam also for people who are not devotees or their relations are not devotees also so it’s a standard way of reference in the scriptures and the primary purpose of such usages is to talk about one’s honorable connections to inspire one to act honorably and even Prabhupada used this strategy that when his American disciples were in India doing a Hare Krishna festival and he wanted them to do it in a magnificent way and he told them what is the use of your being in the Americans if you can’t do something wonderful and now Prabhupada told his disciples you’re not Americans you’re not the body how can you be Americans but then yes we have at a functional level we have we cannot just wish away our identity we do have the identity of the body so use that identity whatever ego is connected with that identity to make people serve Krishna more and more and similarly Prabhupada used that for Indians also he said you know to teach Bhagavad Gita which is a book from India you know we have to get people from other parts of the world and he says you Indians you know why don’t you study it and teach it so now we are not Indians that is a fundamental teaching of the Bhagavad Gita and why is Prabhupada saying Bhagavad Gita is a book of Indians Indians should take it as their book because yes they have false ego if somehow or the other people can be used to connect there they can be used to practice perform devotional service that is good so we don’t just reject the bodily identity we dovetail the bodily identity and often we use the bodily identity to increase one’s commitment to devotion so often the attempt to just wish away one’s identity can be great insensitivity and violence and in fact the whole system of Varanashram the Bhagavad Gita tells that on one side it tells you’re not the body but then it outlines the whole system of Varanashram whose whole purpose is to engage people according to their Swabhaav which Swabhaav not spiritual Swabhaav bodily Swabhaav Ramana Kshatriya Vaisheshudra these are Karmani Prabhavaktani Swabhaav Prabhavair Gunai they are bodily designations so the Bhagavad Gita recognizes that when to come to the level of realizing that we are servants of Krishna the most sustainable arrangement which is an arrangement which honors our bodily nature and our bodily identity so we can’t just reject everything just because it reinforces bodily identity yeah the bodily identity is a reality in this world and there are various ways in which the bodily identity can be utilized in Krishna’s service so now with respect to birthday celebrations mostly how do devotees celebrate their birthdays yes often they make the often they praise that child for the good qualities and devotional qualities are there they may praise them for if some other good qualities are there then praise them for that and overall if it’s happening in a devotee community what is the result of it all the result is that the child feels valued the child feels encouraged and child feels inspired whatever we are appreciated for we feel inspired to do that more so they feel more inspired to practice bhakti now yes there may be certain ways in which the devotees may celebrate so the the bhakti can be the birthday can be used as a way of affirming one of affirming of giving affirmation and appreciation to a person to the child or whoever and that way that devotion that person’s devotional inspiration can be increased and most often how many people actually think because my birthday was celebrated so i am the body the way devotees celebrate birthdays it is very much centered on Krishna even if a cake is cut a Hare Krishna tune is sung at that time and when the Hare Krishna tune is sung that actually centered on Krishna so Bhakta Vinod Thakur warned us not to be where we see only external so external form external occasion may be a birthday celebration but if you are Saragrahi we will see that actually essence is often it is centered on Krishna and it is also centered on encouraging a person practicing devotional service more so often our devotee get burdened by too many expectations you know as it is if i am talking about Indian society here but some things similar apply elsewhere also that there are so much firstly academic expectations from children to excel and when they are devotees children there are also cultural expectations to conform and often the weight of the expectations is so much that children can feel crushed and unrealistic expectations that our children should be like mini saints you know that can cause great damage to children you know one of the one of the first generation devotees child who has now become a author is not a scorn devotee he he writes he wrote recently that his greatest memory of his childhood is his most prominent memory of his childhood is that his parents were always making him feel bad about not being the reincarnation of Prahlad Maharaj so you know sometimes we are so concerned about people’s future destination that we are cut off from their present emotion we are so concerned about people’s future destination oh my child should become a devotee in future should become like this this like this but a child is feeling burdened crushed lost alienated and no wonder when the child becomes get the time to become free the child will just go away from Krishna so now certainly children should be encouraged in the practice of bhakti children should be encouraged in not simply imitating their other materialistic children whom they are seeing in in their school and elsewhere and yes there is a very negative way in which birthdays can be celebrated in which the birthday celebration becomes more a competition of ego where the children think oh my my friends they celebrated a birthday in mcdonald’s so we will also i also want my birthday in mcdonald’s or that even oh there was such a big party with so many big big things on my friend’s birthday so therefore it should be bigger for me also bigger than that for me or the pair it may become a the birthday celebration may become a vehicle for the parents ego also that oh that boy’s birthday so many gifts were given or such a big opulent thing was done we will do it bigger so now this is a distortion of the uh of the birthday of the form of the birthday festival and this sort of of some activity becoming a competition of the ego that can happen for anything your devotees may get deities in the temple in their home and then some devotees may have wood other devotees may have our marble and that may become a competition of the ego also so the ego can sabotage anything that the ego can sabotage anything doesn’t mean that thing entirely necessarily has to be uh rejected or banned so again uh first of we so this is the point that we need to give ensure that our children feel valued and if the birthday is one way that they feel valued then that is feel valued affirmed appreciated then there is no need to ban it again i’m not saying it has to be done i’m saying that going against going on a campaign to ban birthday celebrations is a mistaken application of wanting to give up one’s bodily identity yes the whole celebration can become commercialized and that is definitely undesirable and that sort of commercialized uh egoistically competitive birthday celebrations should definitely be avoided by devotees now moving forward to another point is it that the birthday celebrations are non-traditional yes maybe our parents grandparents did not celebrate birthdays and say before the western culture coming into india but they did not celebrate in indian tradition at least in the recent memory but then is the recent indian culture really a reflection of the original vedic culture now in the recent indian culture we have the terribly discriminatory caste system in the recent indian culture we have burning of brides and there is much that is uh regrettable in the modern culture and it’s a deviant from the traditional vedic standard so uh do we have any clear historical record that birthdays were never celebrated in the past in fact we know that yashoda mai celebrated krishna’s birthday now one important point is that the rajivasis are not thinking of krishna as god usually they think of him just as our lovable child so now if they’re not thinking of krishna as god then how did they get the idea of celebrating his birthday that means the idea of celebrating birthdays was there at that time now of course they did it in a very devotional way what they did was actually they invited they gave they asked krishna to give charity to the brahmanas so this form the it’s not that this idea of celebrating birthdays in itself is non-vedic so the fact that rajivasi celebrated means that that idea was there at that time and now we can go into a hyper gyani mode and say that actually birth is entirely a moment of misery for the baby as well as the mother and therefore saying happy birthday is a sign of ignorance yes at one level it is true but another level yes what happens before and during birth is painful but the result is joyful a new life comes to this world and that life that is an occasion for celebration now it’s not just bodily ignorant material celebration it is actually uh it is soul if they are devotees if they’re spiritually minded to the soul getting a human form and that human form means that one gets the opportunity to become liberated so that is indefinitely an occasion for celebration uh and now generally how do devotees celebrate birthdays often they pray or wish for each other or bless you that may you never take birth again so this sort of blessings or this sentiment if it is there then there is actually no reinforcement of the bodily identity there is actually clear reminder that birth was miserable and that we have to get out of the cycle of birth and death and let this birthday be an occasion for reminding us of our existential predicament and increasing our determination to to practice bhakti by which we get out of the cycle of birth and death get out of the cycle of birth so now generally speaking there are certain occasions when the human heart is soft and sensitive and birthdays are an occasion like that you know we live in a culture today where most people suffer from alienation especially in the past people used to live in joint families and there were so many family members all around that one would always feel a part of not just a family but a community but now most many people live in cities and there even the family members are so busy that they don’t really meet together and what to speak of the larger joint family as a community so people often feel lonely and alienated and there are occasions when there can be bonding and you know a person’s value is affirmed so often birthdays are occasions when people are very soft and sensitive in their heart now that maybe you may say that because of bodily identification or whatever but it’s a rite of passage it’s a it’s a it marks a particular moment in a journey a life journey and that is special for a person whether we want it or not it is true and at that time if we use that opportunity to appreciate the devotee and then encourage the devotee in the practice of devotion then often those words they go deep into the heart and they inspire the devotee to practice devotional service more enthusiastically but if at that time one just becomes insertive and says you are not the body then yes one may be philosophically correct but one is devotionally wrong when Abhimanyu died Krishna Arjuna was grief struck and Krishna did not tell Arjuna Arjuna yes that stool bag has passed away why are you so attached to the stool bag Krishna was super sensitive he consoled him he encouraged him he solaced him and basically Krishna did not if you read the Mahabharata carefully he did not emphasize that you are not the body or the soul at all he emphasized oh Arjuna for superior men like you to be overcome by grief does not behove you do not speak words into actions that will increase the grief of your loved ones so Krishna called upon Arjuna’s higher sense in an emotionally sensitive way that yes you are an honorable person act honorably now you should rather than causing grief to others you know help decrease the grief of others everyone else is also grieving but he did not say that you are not the body he called upon Arjuna’s sense of honor in a different way so when people are soft and sensitive at that time if we become insensitive and say somebody as I quoted in my earlier answer somebody says prabhuji is my birthday today and somebody asks how old is your stool bag well there might be some great souls who may actually see that as an opportunity to become detached from the body but most people will see that as terrible insensitivity and they will get alienated from not only that devotee but they may get alienated even from Krishna now we may say okay that person is attached to ignorance and the person is staying in ignorance serves him right and that is hard-heartedness that is not the spirit of a compassionate devotee who wants to elevate people higher the principle of yukta vairagya means that whatever forum can be used to elevate people towards Krishna that should be used so if birthday is the occasion when we can speak some encouraging words and appreciative words and inspire a devotee to come closer to Krishna then to lose that opportunity is to miss an opportunity to bring people closer to Krishna and to lose that up to reject that opportunity to make a cause make a mission a campaign of rejecting that opportunity thinking that it is body misidentification it is a complete misunderstanding and misapplication of philosophy so and lastly even if in some cases some cultural forms are non-traditional like say cutting cakes or whatever if they are non-traditional is it that bhakti is going to exist forever as a transcendental bubble which is unaffected by the culture around entirely no it is it did not happen like that even in the history of Gaudiya Vaishnavism now the if we see Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu after his followers took Vaishnavism to Manipur and what happened was Manipuri Vaishnavism is a blend of Gaudiya Vaishnavism and Manipuri culture so that is natural that there will be some amount of harmonious mutual accommodation where devotional principles are presented according in some ways according to the local culture and to call every such thing as a compromise is to simply neglect the history of Gaudiya Vaishnavism itself and the history of religion at large what to speak of Manipuri Vaishnavism we see even the Vraja Vaishnavas their mood was they were quite different from the Bangla Vaishnavas in the Bangla Vaishnavas they are different from the Gaudiya Vaishnavas you know Narottam Das Thakur’s Kirtan style is different from say the other Gaudiya Vaishnavas Kirtan style to some extent so everyone had their own way of doing it they were broad agreement was there but there were significant differences so even if we for argument say that birthday celebration is not a Vedic celebration although there are strong reasons to say that it was a Vedic celebration because Krishna celebrated it and it was not for because he was God but because it was a part of the culture the natural thing to do but even if one for argument’s sake that either the whole principle of birthday celebration or the specific form of birthday celebration like cutting cakes and everything is non-traditional does it necessarily mean that it cannot be accommodated it can be devotionally harmonized in a way that affirms people and encourages them to come closer towards Krishna so again to conclude I have nothing invested in either having birthday celebrations or not having birthday celebrations we as devotees of Krishna have far more important things to do we have to share Krishna’s message and there are so many people who are living in utter ignorance and sharing Krishna’s message with them is far more important than trying to do such cultural policing at a micro level where we try to mandate whether a devotee should celebrate birthdays or not ISKCON is no longer a temple-based movement it is largely a congregation-based movement and congregation devotees according to their individual situation their children’s needs their socio-cultural situations they will decide whether they should or should not practice practice have birthday celebrations for their children no rituals are practiced birthday celebration is also ritual rituals are practiced to the extent they serve some need and when rituals don’t serve any need then they die a natural death and banning something actually often gives it more energy and it banning something often triggers the spirit of rebellion within a person and it maybe some it makes people want to do it more also times and banning it unnecessarily brings more attention so I am not going to discuss this issue anymore and if somebody strongly feel that birthday celebration should be banned that is fine should not be practiced that is fine they can practice it Prabhupada has built a house big enough in which those who don’t want to celebrate birthdays and those who want to celebrate birthdays both can live and both can in their own way practice bhakti and advance towards Krishna thank you