Should we as parents encourage our children to participate in competitions for discovering and developing talents?

Answer Podcast

Transcript

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Hare Krishna. So, as parents, sometimes we enroll our children in competitive competitions, contests. And how is that spiritual? And how can that avoid how can we avoid that excessive emphasis on winning by such things? There are two things here.
There are activities which are directly devotional. And there are many activities which can be used in devotional service. Now, Arjuna, when he was practicing archery, he was not thinking this archery is mundane.
At that time, when he was as a child, he was in the forest, his father was training him, his father Drona was training him. At that time, probably, he had no idea in the future there is going to be dharma yudha where I have to fight for Krishna. He simply saw his archery as his duty to Kshatriya.
And he became excellent in that. And we know that he practiced tirelessly. He would practice at night also.
That’s how he became, that’s how he is known as Gudakesh, when he has conquered sleep. So, Arjuna became competent in his archery, not just by the talent that he had, but also by the commitment that he showed. So, similarly, we all have been given different talents.
Our children have been given different talents. And developing those talents is also a way of using the gifts that God has given them. Now, how those gifts will be used, that will vary from person to person.
Some gifts may be directly usable in devotional service, like some singing abilities, speaking ability. But some other specific talents may be there. They may not be directly usable.
But indirectly, see, when Bhaktivinoda Thakur said that I am longing for the day when the high court judges will be wearing tilak. Now, what does that mean? Does that mean he is saying that, you know, any devotee is chanting Hare Krishna, you make him sit on a high court judge position, and he is going to judge? No, that’s not what he means. In that, people who are so qualified as to become judges, they also adopt the principles of One way is that we preach effectively and reach influential people and they become devotees.
Other is that, you know, younger generation of our own devotee, our movement itself, they become so competent that they rise to influential positions in society. So, it’s that even developing our God-given talents to make contributions in society that can also lead to the spiritualization of society in a far more, in a subtle but far more effective way. So, often we have this dichotomy that, you know, this is material life, this is spiritual life, I have to give up material life and practice spiritual life.
That is one way of understanding. The other is, we spiritualize the material culture also at different levels of spiritualization. So, it’s not that everybody is going to chant Hare Krishna and start practicing the principles of bhakti at a very serious level.
Many people may, many may not. So, we can consider outreach not just like one rigid line everybody inside is a devotee, everybody outside is a demon. No, it’s like there is concentric circles of varying radii and outreach can be at different levels.
So, a devotee is a, say, a top mathematician is a devotee. Just by that, people may not become devotees. But people may become appreciators.
You know, such intelligent people are also practicing bhakti. There must be some bhakti, there must be some substance in this. So, that way, at a certain level of appreciation, that is Ajnaan Sukruta.
That is also appreciation for people which makes them favorable for bhakti. So, whatever talents our children have, we, to help them develop those challenges, that is our service. I have a whole seminar on this.
The theme is that, what we are is God’s gift to us. What we become is our gift to God. So, whatever talents we have, where do they come from? They are God’s gift to us.
And, even the best of talents, they need development. They need nourishment. And, whatever are the, in the current society, the systems for spotting talent, for developing talent, you’ll have to participate in them.
And we do that in a mood of service to Krishna. So, the way to avoid attachment or infatuation with the winning is by having a healthy spiritual culture. We are ourselves practicing bhakti.
We are encouraging them in devotional practices according to their situation. And then, there is a difference between goals and results. Krishna doesn’t tell us, don’t set goals.
Krishna says, don’t be attached to results. Now, again, what is the difference between goals and results? Goals is what we set before we do the service. Results is what comes after we have done the service.
So, Arjuna, in fact, in the Kurukshetra war, every day, they would set goals. Especially, most famously, on the 14th day, Arjuna set the goal. Tomorrow, I will kill Jayadratha to avenge the death of Abhimanyu.
Krishna did not tell him, karmanyeva adhika raste ma phaleshu kadachara. Krishna did not tell him that because the two are not contradictory principles. The whole idea is that we need to focus on our service.
So, goals can help us to focus on our service. And setting goals, visualizing goals, they can help us to increase our inspiration and maximize our contribution. But results, it’s after I have done my work, now there are other factors beyond me which also will determine the result.
So, attachment to results, again, distracts me from what I can do to what I can’t do. So, Krishna is telling, when he’s saying, we detach from results, that means acknowledge that ma karma phala he turbur you are not the sole producer of your result. That doesn’t mean that you are not the doer.
See, sometimes one who thinks that he’s the doer is an illusion. That’s a whole different subject. But it is that the illusion is tatraivam sati kartaram atmanam kevalam tuya.
One who thinks I alone am the doer, that is the illusion. We are doers. And Krishna tells Arjuna, fight.
Do as you desire. yathe chisitha kura means do. And Arjuna says, karishe vachanam tava, I’ll do your will.
That means, he’s saying, I’ll be a doer. So, we have to do but we shouldn’t think that I alone am the doer, that I alone am producing the results. That is ahankara, that is ego.
But doing our part in the overall scheme of things that is waiting for us. So, by setting up goals is not a problem but if we are too obsessed over the results so if our children see that we value them irrespective of whether they get the results or not naturally when the results come in a particularly favorable way, we are happy about that but still we value them. If we say that, then they will feel reassured that our love for them is not conditional to their getting some results.
And when they see that, that gives them a lot of security. And from that platform of security, they can move towards achieving things. But, say, if the parent has two children, one child does very well, the other child doesn’t do very well and the parent is paying no attention to the second child and paying lavish a lot of attention to the first child, then they are sending a message to both the children that only if you are an achiever then you are lovable.
Otherwise we don’t love you. That should not be there. We offer our love and attention to all children and we try to facilitate them in their growth according to their particular talents.
So if our love for them doesn’t depend on their fulfilling certain, winning in certain contests or whatever, then they can be inspired to win but still they will secure in their relationship with us and their own sense of whatever they are doing in their life. Does it answer your question?