Strengthening the bonds that liberate

[Hall program at Melbourne, Australia]

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Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
Srila Prabhupada Ki Jai! Namaah Namaah Namaah Namaah Namaah Namaah Namaah Namaah Namaah Namaah Namaah Namaah Namaah Vaishnavidhyo Namo Namaha Jai Sri Krishna Chaitanya Prabhu Nithyananda Sri Advaita Gadadhara Siva Sadi Gaur Bhakta Vrinda Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare So I will speak today on the topic of strengthening the bonds that liberate. Strengthening the bonds that liberate. All of us are essentially relational beings.
We all as human beings want relationships. And through the relationships essentially the strength of the relationship is the bond that we form through it. And when we form the bonds the bonds can lead sometimes to entanglement.
They can lead to bondage. But the bonds can also elevate and liberate. I was two months in America before I came to Australia.
And one thing that consistently I had read about it, I had heard about it, but now I am observing is there is tremendous anxiety among people. I gave a seminar in Ohio State University about facing our fears. So there I quoted about what are the common fears of people.
I was doing some history. So in the 18th century, 19th century, 20th century, 21st century, what are the fears that people have had. So in the 21st century there are two fears which have got added or new have come to the top 10 list of fears.
One is the fear of terrorists. And the second is the fear of rejection. That when people form relationships, I offer myself, I may try to connect myself to what if the other person rejects me.
Especially in youth when people are trying to explore the world of relationships. It’s a crushing fear for many people. So when we are trying to explore the world of relationships, there is we all need to form bonds.
But in that when rejection comes, that can be devastating. Actually in any relationship we try to form, we get, we define ourselves in terms of our relationships. When we are born, we are defined as the son of so and so or the daughter of so and so.
As we grow up, we form different relationships. I am the husband of so and so, I am the wife of so and so. We define ourselves in terms of broadly two things.
Our roles and our relationships. Our roles may be I am a teacher, I am a software engineer, I am a lawyer, I am a doctor. So our roles define us and our relationships define us.
Now among these two, both are important. But even in our roles, we form relationships. And when we form these different relationships, some relationships can elevate us, where they inspire us to rise upwards, to become better.
So children, their parents encourage them. Children themselves want to study. When the parents encourage them, sometimes pressure them a little bit.
They study and then they eventually use their talents, develop and they have a good career in future. So relationships can help us to improve and become better. But at the same time, relationships can also burden us.
The parents have too much expectation and the children feel burdened by the expectations. That can be counterproductive. So once a husband and a wife had a cold battle.
And their battle was, the husband wanted, what should our son do? The husband wanted the son to become an engineer. The wife wanted the son to become a doctor. And the judge said, why do you have to come to court? Just ask your son.
He says, we can’t do that. He says, why not? Son is not yet born. So sometimes our expectations become unrealistic.
So then in that case, the expectations can actually encourage people to rise up. But expectations can also burden us. Now when we are for whatever reason, unable to form relationships, because we are not able to trust someone, or we feel that this will not work out, whatever it is.
We always have a relationship with our own mind. And that relationship is a constant relationship. Other relationships we may have for some time.
They may have different intensity, different proximity. But the relationship with the mind is constant. The mind is basically a very active force inside us which reflects what we have thought about ourselves and what the world has thought about us.
So if in someone’s childhood they were compared to an elder sibling. Why are you not smart like them? Why are you not outgoing like them? Why can’t you get marks like her? These sort of comparisons, they get impressed in the mind. And then, throughout life the mind keeps repeating this.
You can’t do this. Why can’t you do this? Why can’t you do that? The impressions in the mind will be formed from different sources. But once they are formed, they keep affecting us.
The mind is like a constant voice that is speaking inside us. So when we try to do something, the mind is always expressing some opinion. So when we meet someone, suppose we are going for a job interview, the mind will say, you are not going to do it.
You will not pass this interview. Sometimes the mind may be pessimistic, sometimes the mind may be optimistic. But the basic point I am saying is the mind is there always.
And that is a relationship that is unavoidable. It’s constantly there. And the mind becomes a filter through which we look at everything else in the world.
So irrespective of what relationships we form with others or don’t form, the important thing is we already have a relationship with the mind. And a relationship with the mind is frequently something that doesn’t liberate us. It actually entangles us.
It degrades us. The mind is a remarkable thing in the sense that it very easily starts repeating things. It means that if we search something on Google, now if I search something on Google and you search something on Google, we’ll not get the same results.
Google customises the results based on our profile and especially based on what we have searched in the past. So we could say our mind is like a Google. And whatever input comes from the outer world, say right now, you’re hearing this class.
Every one of you, which point will impact you? How it will impact you? And the same point may trigger different thoughts. And that’s because our mind has gone through different thoughts, different experiences, different perspectives of those experiences. And because of this, we experience the same world, but we don’t experience it the same way.
All of us may go to the same place, but we don’t see it based on our mind. And because our mind is different, we see things differently. And this is what often affects our relationships.
Because I am looking at you through the filter of my mind. You are looking at me through the filter of your mind. And this way, we all get a perception of each other, which may be partly real, but partly it is extrapolated by the mind.
It’s like this. This is like that. And because of this, it’s often when people talk with each other, they’re not talking with each other.
They’re talking past each other. That means, talking past means what? A is here, B is here. But what A it’s like A and B are two characters in two different movies.
And A speaks something, B speaks something. And although it seems to be related, but it’s just disconnected. You just don’t understand each other.
Because the mind is coming in between. The mind, at one level, the mind can bind us to external objects. How do you say people become alcoholics? Nobody starts out, I want to become alcoholic.
Oscar Wilde was a British playwright. He said, giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I have already done it a hundred times.
So, I may decide to give it up, but the mind doesn’t give it up. And the mind comes back and says, come on, do it, do it, do it. And we do it once, we do it twice, we do it thrice and afterwards, it becomes a reflex action.
So, if this floor is inclined this way, then as soon as water falls on this floor, the water will move in this direction. I’m not wanting to move, but it will automatically move. Similarly for us, our mind is inclined in certain directions.
And, whatever thought comes in, it’s like water falling, naturally flow in that direction. So, if somebody is an alcoholic, then their mind is addicted to alcohol. That means their mind is inclined towards alcohol.
And anything, we just remind them of alcohol, it will trigger those desires. So, alcohol is a very gross, physical object to which one may be attached to. But we may be also attached to other things, which may not be so gross.
Some people are constant fault finders. As soon as they come into a room, this is wrong, this is wrong, this is wrong, this is wrong. Their mind moves towards the faults.
Some people are very pessimistic. Every situation, this is not going to work, this is not going to work, this is not going to work. Some people are extremely talkative.
Normally, we speak to express our thoughts. Some people speak to discover their thoughts. And then, hey, I should have spoken that, I didn’t mean that.
So, if they have got that habit, then that’s what happens to them. They may not want to do it, but they just do it that way. Because their mind, their mental floor has become inclined in that direction.
When this happens, sometimes it can be positive, many times it is negative. So, when the mind gets inclined in a particular way, and especially if it is inclined in a way that is harmful for us, then, no matter how much we try, I’ll not think this way, I’ll not be a fault finder, I’ll not be a gossiper, I’ll not be so negative. We may resolve, but the water keeps flowing in that direction.
So, this is almost like a bond at the level of the mind. Desire is like a noose that drags us. It says we are bound by hundreds and thousands of desires.
Based on which particular activities we have done repeatedly in the past, those activities are what we get bound to. And, all of us have our particular bondages. So, earlier I said the mind reflects what we have thought and what others have thought about us.
So, basically, with respect to our relationships, we all have certain preconceptions about ourselves and preconceptions about others. The Bhagavad Gita talks about three modes of material nature. There’s ignorance, tamoguna, passion, that is, rajoguna, and goodness, that is, sattvaguna.
There are different ways to understand these modes. Krishna says that, he says, prakasha pravrutti and aprakasha apravrutti. Prakasha is illumination.
That is a characteristic of the mode of goodness. He says, when the doors of the senses are illuminated with knowledge, that is the mode of goodness. So, that means, we understand what kind of thoughts are inside us, what kind of impressions are coming from outside and we evaluate.
Should I let this come inside? Should I let it not come inside? Say there’s a door over there and the area of the door is completely dark. Then I don’t know who’s coming in, who’s going out. Like that, for some people who are not, for most of us, when we’re not in the mode of goodness, we just feel the emotions.
We don’t sense what was it that actually brought about that explosion. Suddenly, I start feeling angry. I want to shout at someone.
But that anger, it is building, building, building. But while it is building, some negative emotions, some irritating emotions were coming inside. But the door was dark, so I never noticed it.
And suddenly, there’s an explosion. So, in the mode of goodness, we can see what is happening in our inner world. And then, we can process.
Do I want this emotion to come in? Do I want to take in this impression? We can evaluate that. So, prakash is illumination. And Krishna says the mode of passion is characterised by pravrutti.
So, he says that pravrutti is action. In the mode of passion, I just want to do things. I want to do this, I want to do that, I want to do that.
Running around, running around constantly. So, you can say in the mode of goodness, there is first contemplation and then action. In the mode of passion, there is first action then contemplation.
We just run around. Sometimes we run out. I’ll get out.
And I go there. I forgot this. I’ll run back and get that.
Again I go, I forgot that. So, there is running, there is action, but there is not adequate contemplation. And in the mode of ignorance, there is aprakasha and apravrutti.
There is neither contemplation nor action. There is simply delusion. Moha.
That means, there is neither inner control nor outer control. So, people just withdraw into an illusory world. Watching movies, playing video games.
Somebody sits and spends hours shooting images on a video game and thinks, I am such a great hero. So, what is happening there? There is neither inner nor outer control. Now, these three modes, they affect our relationships also.
And these three modes, in broad ways, especially the modes of passion and ignorance, they are the bonds that bind us. So, when we are in the mode of ignorance, there is neither illumination nor proper action. Because of which, we start feeling that whenever there is any danger in a relationship, whenever I feel maybe this is not going right, this person is behaving too unreasonably, is demanding too much, is doing something wrong.
So, at that time, we go into a self-victim mode. Oh, you know, people always treat me like this. Everybody treats me like a pushover.
I am like a doormat for everyone. Nobody cares for me. Everybody uses me.
And we start going into the zone of self-pity. On the other hand, we are in the mode of passion. So, in the mode of ignorance, we feel we have no control over anyone.
And people just do whatever they want to do with me. In the mode of passion, we think I will control everyone. So, in the mode of ignorance, people knock us down.
In the mode of passion, we knock people down. You have to do what I am telling you. I was at one place and one person, one devotee, everybody had problems with him because this devotee was so domineering.
He would get very angry and he would speak hurting words to people. And when they said, why do you speak like this? He said, if you do what I tell you to do, I will never have to speak this to you. So, rather than acknowledging that he was doing something wrong, he was just passing on the blame to them.
So, what happens in the mode of passion? We think that I should be able to control everyone. And when we are not able to control others, we blame them. When we are not able to control others, when we blame others, that alienates them.
Relationships basically have three elements in it. You know, person A, person B and the interaction between A and B. So, all three, A, B and their interaction has to be healthy. So, if A is blaming and alienating B, that is bad.
If A is constantly feeling sorry for oneself, that is also bad. There is a difference between taking responsibility for our mistakes and becoming a self-victim. We all make mistakes at times, but when we victimise ourselves, I am good for nothing.
I never do anything right. People don’t care for me. People always push me around.
So, when we are doing that, we are weakening ourselves. So, for all of us, if we already have a relationship with the mind, which we can’t escape, and this relationship with the mind shapes our relationship with others. So, sometimes, we are so controlling and domineering that people go away from us.
Or sometimes, we are so lost in ourselves. I am like this. I am like that.
I am this. What will people think about me? We are so lost in our own head, feeling sorry for ourselves that people can’t connect with us. So, either way, this relationship with the mind, it is what shapes and sometimes distorts our relationship with others.
So, we need to actually form a relationship that will free us from the control of the mind. We can’t get rid of the mind, but we can avoid having the mind control us. And, that is our relationship with Krishna.
The mind is inside us. And, because it is inside us, it can influence us enormously. And, it can influence us not only enormously, but it can influence us very subtly.
That means, if I have decided not to do something, if an alcoholic has decided not to take alcohol, somebody comes and says, come on, let’s have a drink. No, no. I have decided to be sober.
I will not take a drink. Be very firm about it. But, if that same thought comes from within the mind, let’s take a drink.
Why not? Let’s take a drink. I have decided to be sober. I will start tomorrow.
So, some reason will come up. When the same suggestion, which is against our resolution, comes from outside, we resist it. When the suggestion against our resolution comes from inside, we succumb to it.
So, for us, we need a positive voice inside us. Because there is already a negative voice inside us, the voice of the mind. So, the voice of Krishna is the positive voice inside us.
Krishna is already present within our hearts. He is present in the hearts of all living beings. Now, Krishna at present is not so easily accessible to us.
But Krishna also speaks to us externally through Guru, Sadhu and Shastra. Through the spiritual master, through the saintly teachers and through scriptures. And to the extent we hear from them and we internalise what we hear from them, to that extent that becomes an alternative voice to the mind’s voice within us.
Mind says, things are like this. No, things are not like that. The mind whatever we have heard that if we have internalised, that equips our intelligence.
And then we can evaluate what the mind is saying. It’s not that what the mind says is always wrong. But sometimes if we do not evaluate it, what it is saying, we will do wrong.
So that’s why, what we need is to internalise this voice coming from Guru, Sadhu, Shastra, which is the voice of Krishna and strengthen our intelligence. So the soul is here and we could say, the soul is here, there is the mind here, there is the intelligence here, there is the mind here. The soul is going to hear the mind or the soul is going to hear the intelligence.
And depending on what the soul hears, things will accordingly progress. So whatever it is that strengthens our intelligence, that is the bond that will liberate us. Because we are bound to our mind and we are bound by our mind.
We are bound to our mind because the mind is inside us and from there we are bound by the mind. And to be able to overcome this, to overcome the bondage to the mind and the bondage by the mind, we need a positive bonding to something else. So the things that strengthen our intelligence, the things that connect us with Krishna, they are the bonds that will elevate and liberate us.
Now, when we start practising bhakti, we may initially do it for various reasons. We may do it as a cultural activity. Yes, it’s nice, I like to go to temple, I get some bees over there.
Or that’s what our family has been doing, so let me do it. And any way we start practising bhakti, that is good. But for us to tap the full potency of bhakti, we need to see bhakti as a process for our inner transformation.
Inner transformation means it is a process that first will counter the mind’s voice. And then gradually it will convert the mind. The mind says, nobody cares for you.
Things are always going to go wrong. Whatever the mind’s programming is, accordingly it speaks. Then first we get a counter.
No, it’s not like that. Krishna exists, Krishna has a plan, Krishna exists. That’s a counter.
Gradually as the mind learns, it takes a lot of time at times, but over a period of time, the mind’s voice itself will change. But till that happens, there is going to be this inner war. And as long as we are not internally vigilant, by default, we can assume that our floor, mental floor, is inclined towards something unhealthy, towards something undesirable.
And by default, our thoughts are going to go in that direction. And that’s why we need to make conscientious efforts to redirect those thoughts. So, the more, when we say strengthening the bonds that liberate, how do we strengthen the bond? By conscientiously connecting.
Bhagavad Gita, in the 12th chapter, 9th verse, says that अतचित्तं समाधातो नशक्नो सिमाईस्थिरम् अभ्यास्योके नदतो मामिच्छाप्तुं धनन्जयः Krishna says, if you are not able to remember me constantly, that’s what he has recommended in the previous verse, 12.86. If you can’t do it, then अभ्यास्योके नदतो नशक्नो सिमाईस्थिरम् अभ्यास्योके नदतो And by this, मामिच्छाप्तुं धनन्जयः By this you will get a desire for me. And the desire for Krishna, the attraction for Krishna is what will gradually change the inclination of our mind. And the more we change the inclination of our mind, the more positive thoughts will become habitual for us.
But for that to happen, first of all we have to find what are the bonds that elevate me, what are the bonds that liberate me. So in the भक्तिरसाम्रत सिंधो which is a guide book or a manual for the process of bhakti, there are five potent forms of bhakti that are talked about. There are 64 items talked about, but among them five are considered especially important.
Does anyone know which are those five? Yes? Yes? Yes, association with devotees. Anything else? Yes, chanting the holy names. Yes, going to a holy place or staying in a holy place.
Then? Yes, hearing the Shiva’s Bhagavatam. And last? Yes, it’s an element of a devotee’s life. It’s not exactly talked about.
It’s more of when our heart is redirected towards Krishna, we redirect, we inspire others, we inspire to share that with others. ज्यूदय is a characteristic of a devotee. It is not exactly a process for becoming devoted.
Is there a difference? Yes, श्रीमूर्ति सेवा. Very good. So if you see these five activities associating with devotees, studying scriptures, then worshipping the deity, going to holy places, and chanting the holy names.
These are five ways in which we can spiritualise our consciousness. We can connect ourselves with Krishna very strongly. Now each of these serves its own distinctive purpose.
We human beings have different energies. Energies in the sense that some people are very socially energetic. They like to talk with a lot of people.
Some people are very physically energetic. They can’t sit in one place. You know, at a party or at a get-together.
Two minutes ago they were sitting here, next minute they are sitting over there. Next minute they have gone there. Some people are physically very energetic.
Some people are emotionally very energetic. Everything that they do is filled with emotions. They laugh, they laugh loudly.
They cry, they cry loudly. Everything is very emotional. So we all have our different particular energies.
And we need to channel that energy towards Krishna. Some people are very, they have a lot of intellectual energy. One point we speak to them, keep thinking, keep thinking, keep thinking about it.
And that’s just the brain is thinking, thinking, thinking constantly. So we all have different energies. And broadly speaking, these energies need to be channelled towards Krishna.
If somebody is very socially energetic, we tell them to become intellectually energetic. That’s very difficult for them. Sit and understand the philosophy.
Analyse this. They’ll do it to some extent. But that is not what is natural to them.
They can do it, but that’s not natural to them. It’s something that comes naturally to them. So we have different energies which come naturally to us.
And depending on the inclination of the mind, those energies will flow in that direction. So if somebody is very socially energetic, they like to talk with a lot of people. Now if their mind is inclined towards gossip, then if you want to plant a rumour, tell that to them, and within 15 minutes the whole world will know about it.
Now with internet and social media, it doesn’t even take 15 minutes. Within a few minutes, it will spread everywhere. So the energy itself is value neutral.
That means the energy can be channelled positively, the energy can be channelled negatively. The energy is value neutral, but depending on the inclination of the mind, that energy will be channelled accordingly. So when we are practising the various processes of bhakti, we have to find out what is the natural energy of our mind, of our own being.
And we have to channel that energy constructively in Krishna’s service. Some people like philosophy. I want to study, I want to analyse, I want logical answers to things.
And then I feel inspired to do it. Sometimes, for some people, it’s more of social. I see a lot of people doing it.
The people who are doing something is very nice. That inspires me. I want to do this now.
I want to try this out. So many nice people are doing it. There must be something good in it.
Let me try this out. So the various elements of bhakti, the five potent forms of devotional service, they are different ways in which our energy is channelled towards Krishna. Those who are socially energetic, if they get devotee association, then that devotee association, yes, I met this devotee.
I met this person. Oh, this person is also practising bhakti. This person is also practising bhakti.
And they are practising this way. They get very stimulated. And all that social association of devotees is what channels their existing social energy towards Krishna.
Those who are intellectual, it’s not just coming in the devotee community. It is actually sitting and hearing philosophy, analysing, discussing. That’s what inspires them.
That’s Bhagavad-gita. Some people have more of physical energy. They like to go to new places, travel, explore.
So that is what in the spiritual tradition there is going to pilgrimages, holy places. So that is channelled over there. And then there is worship of the deities.
For many of us, the visual energy is very strong. We want to look at beautiful things. So the temple, the deities are there where the deities are beautifully decorated.
And we are encouraged to have deities at our home, decorate them beautifully. And that way, that visual energy gets channelled towards Krishna. Some of us have musical inclination.
So in kirtans, the musical energy gets channelled towards Krishna. So all of us, we have to find out how I can strengthen my bond with Krishna. The bond with Krishna is what will elevate us and liberate us.
And that bond has to be strengthened. If we have certain bonds that are dragging us down, trying to get rid of those bonds is extremely difficult. Saying, I will not do something, that doesn’t work so well.
Internally, our intelligence is convinced. I will not do it. I will not do it.
But internally, there is also the mind. The mind is also speaking. I will not do it.
I will not do it. The mind has an eraser with it. And the mind erases the not.
I will do it. So when I just keep saying, I will not do it. I will not do it.
The mind erases the not. Sometimes, thinking too much about not doing something makes us do that thing. Because what is happening, and there are multiple reasons for this, when we say I will not do something, not doing creates a sense of deprivation.
Because whatever it is, that we were doing it and there was getting some kind of sense of routine, some kind of pleasure, some kind of joy we were getting in it. That joy may have led to many problems later. At least at that time, we were getting something.
And when I say, I will not do this, that makes us feel deprived. And that makes us do it again. But instead of focussing so much, I will not do it, we find the bonds that raise us up, and we strengthen those bonds.
When we do that, strengthening the bonds that elevate us. That means, if we consider these five potent forms of devotional service, the association of devotees, the hearing of Bhagavatam, the worshipping of the deities, the chanting of the holy names, all these are available at a temple. And a temple itself is like a holy place.
The fifth form of devotional service also is there. So all the combined energies of all these potent forms of devotional service is there at one place, as a temple. So temple is not just a place you visit for cultural purposes or just ritual purposes.
A temple can be a crucible of spiritual energy from where we get rejuvenated, where we get the opportunity to strengthen the bonds that will elevate and liberate us. Now, I will conclude with two points, and then you can have question and answers about how practically do we go about strengthening. Once I have identified, I like to hear classes, I like to read books.
So, this is what I want to do more, this is what I want to strengthen. So how do I go about doing this? Suppose, I love deities, I want to become more attached to the devotion. How do I go about doing that? So for us, whenever we decide to do something, there is firstly the knowledge of what we are meant to do.
There is the reason why I am to do this. So basically, in developing any new habit, there are three aspects. There is the what to do, why to do and how to do.
There is the knowledge, the desire and the skill. So what to do? That is knowledge. Why to do? That is the desire.
And how to do? That is the skill. And sometimes, we think developing some new habit is simply a matter of willpower. But willpower alone is not enough.
Willpower is something we could relate with desire. This is what I want to do. But I have to have the knowledge.
How am I going to do it? What exactly should I do? As I said earlier, if I direct my willpower to say, I will give this up. I will not do this. That does not work.
Because we have to do something positive to replace that negative. In fact, this whole dynamic of how we change internally, this I am going to speak elaborately. Tomorrow, we are having a retreat.
So I am going to speak about this instinct, impulses and intelligence. And how the mind works when we try to change things. I will keep it brief over here.
So the knowledge is what to do. The desire is why to do. We often think, I make resolutions and I am not able to keep them.
That is because I do not have enough willpower. But it is not simply willpower. Sometimes, you may tell somebody, why can’t you do this? It is so simple.
But when we are trying to tell others to do something, it is not just we are not meant to just give the knowledge to do this. If we want them to do it, we have to create in them the confidence that they can do it. You may tell, if you want to tell somebody, you can learn to ride a, if you have a child, you can learn to ride a cycle.
But if they have seen somebody falling down and getting hurt, no, no, I don’t want to ride. No, you can ride. No, I don’t want to ride.
So, when that fear is there, then just giving knowledge is not enough. Or just saying, have more willpower, have more desire. That is not.
You have to create the confidence. So, many times, especially when players have coaches, sometimes the coaches tell about skills, you can play this ball like this, you can do this like this. But a lot of time, the coaches have to give confidence.
So, for us, when we want to develop a new habit, we have to become our own coach. And we need to give ourselves confidence. And how do we give ourselves confidence? The key to trusting ourselves is small steps successfully executed.
That is the key to trusting ourselves is small steps successfully executed. I may say, I want to do this from today. But okay, that’s good.
But what can I do right now? Okay, I want to read the Bhagavad Gita in the next three months. Okay, that’s fine. But what does it mean? Okay, every day, I should read for half an hour.
Make, okay, half an hour. I don’t think I can get that much time. Okay.
I’ll try to read half an hour. But if I can’t, at least 10 minutes every day I’m going to read. So, 10 minutes is doable.
If I make a I want to read the Bhagavad Gita in the next three months. And then two and a half months, I don’t even touch the Bhagavad Gita. And then after that, next 15 days, I’m thinking, why didn’t I read? Why didn’t I read? I can’t do anything.
So, we have to take small steps and execute them. And this is where the mind comes in the way and says, small steps? What difference is it going to make? It’s not going to make any difference. But it’s not like that.
I had a friend who was a bodybuilder. He’s a boxer and a bodybuilder. And he once fractured his hand.
And then he had a surgery. And the doctor came to him and told him that now you have to start exercising. Exercise? He said, I can’t even get out of my bed.
I can’t raise my hand. What exercise can I do? Doctor told him, his hand was lying. Can you lift up your finger? He said, yes.
He could lift up his little finger. Remaining fingers were still almost like incapacitated. So, he said, lift up your small finger 10 times in the morning, 10 times in the afternoon, 10 times in the evening.
That is your exercise. He said, exercise? For an exercise of lifting huge weights? Going to a gym? He said, this is not exercise. He said, this is your exercise.
Start this. He started lifting one finger, started lifting two fingers. Then the hand.
Then the forearm. Then the arm. And in a few months, he came back to normal mobility.
At that time, it all began just lifting a little finger up. So, for us, if we are to do anything new, Krishna says, gradually, step by step. Uparame.
The mind goes off in a negative direction, check it. Atmasamsa Manakritva. Fix it on spiritual reality.
For us to do anything, anything positive, the key is taking small steps. And planning small steps and actually taking them. Even if you do something for one day, rather than taking a resolution, I am going to do this for the rest of my life.
And then, what happens is, if we are not able to do it, the mind becomes so, mind makes us so discouraged that we don’t try it also again. Just give it up. Now, small steps.
Take it up and do it. By that, we learn to become our own coach and learn to trust ourselves. So from whatever situation we are in, how can I connect myself more with Krishna? And that small step that we do will increase the confidence within us and make us more capable of taking longer steps.
But this alone is not enough. Because for all of us, there is execution but there is also inspiration. Execution means doing the thing.
Inspiration means I feel like doing it. So, for us to get out of our inertia, our present way of living is often the inertia that we are in. And for us to get out of the inertia, we need inspiration.
And somehow, for most of us, taking small steps is not very inspirational. Okay? So, I just take a small step. What’s the big deal? So, for execution, we need to shrink our vision.
Okay, what can I do today? What can I do tomorrow? Shrink our vision. But for inspiration, we need to expand our vision. That means, if I just keep doing this daily, this Bhagavatam is a huge book.
There are thousands and thousands of verses in the Bhagavatam. If I say, I want to read the whole book, thousands of verses, how will I read it? No. I just read five verses daily.
Then, that would mean, maybe in 200 days, I read a thousand verses. In one year, maybe I read a little more, a little less. I can read about 1500 verses.
And, that way I can move on. So, we need a vision that is inspirational also. So, that inspirational vision comes when we expand.
This expanding is not only in terms of what we will achieve in the long run. It is also by looking at people who are transformed. Sometimes, you may say, in the scriptures, we hear about great saintly people who are having exalted levels of devotion, extraordinary levels of self-control, great levels of calmness, whatever it is.
So, those may at one level seem too lofty for us. But, at another level, we can say that this is also possible. Maybe it may seem impossible for me.
But, they are also souls like us. By the process of bhakti, by the strong connection with Krishna, that which seems impossible, that can also become possible. So, that contributive conception is what the mind needs to accept.
Once a person went to a hotel. Give me some idlis. Take the first idli.
Second idli. He ate the second idli. Give me one more.
He ate the third idli. Then he ate a fourth idli. He said, Now, the fourth idli filled my stomach.
I wasted my time and money in eating the first three idlis. If I had just eaten the fourth idli, I would have been full. Now, the feeling of being filled came after eating the fourth idli.
But, the fourth idli was not the cause. It’s all the four idlis that I ate, they cumulated. And that’s what gave the result of feeling full.
So, what happens for us is that often things are cumulative result of many things. But, instead of looking at all the causes that are cumulated to bring about that result, we look at the last cause. Oh, why can’t I do this? Or, when will I be able to do this? But, that last cause is not the only cause.
The cumulation of causes which leads to that. So, similarly for us, when we have this, it’s not just that there is Oh, if I do this, then things will be done. If I can only do this.
If you want to develop some new habit, or achieve a certain level of self-mastery, it is not just the fourth idli that is to be eaten. I have to eat all the four idlis. And, gradually my stomach gets full.
That means, rather than thinking of something as impractical or impossible, or if only I could do it, this result would come. We see that things are cumulative. That inspirational vision comes when we see that small things lead to big results.
So, rather than thinking that I have to do the big thing, focus on doing the small things, and have the confidence that a small thing will eventually, small things will be cumulated together, will lead to the big thing. So, for us to strengthen the bonds that will elevate us, first start taking small steps. And, know that the big changes will happen, and we are inspired by the big changes.
We want the big changes, but we don’t think that there is one magical cause that brings about the big change. It’s not that the fourth idli made the stomach full. It is all that went before it also made the stomach full.
So, rather than expecting some magical event, some miracle, some something out there will happen which will change me, just take small steps. And, small steps will cause the big change in the long run. And, that’s how we will as we strengthen the bonds that connect us with Krishna, by that we will find that the negative bonds that are there within us, they will gradually start having lesser and lesser influence on us.
And, the stronger this positive bond towards Krishna becomes, then the negative bonds will not only become weaker, but rather, instead of those negativities, positivities will emerge over there. When the mind is distorting our relationship with others, if we internally develop a strong connection with Krishna, then that mind, which is seeing negative, will gradually become purified. I said earlier, first, when the mind is speaking something negative, we have a counter voice to it.
We don’t just believe the mind, but we have a counter voice. That is, the voice of Krishna coming through our emotional connections. But, the emotional connections not only connect us with Krishna, but they also purify us.
The mind will not only be countered by the practise of Krishna Vakti, the mind will also be converted. And then, the mind will become our friend. When it becomes our friend, then we can pursue our roles and our relationships much more positively and much more effectively.
So, I’ll summarise what I spoke today. I spoke on the topic of Kalti strengthening the bonds that liberate us. We are all relational creatures.
And, our relationships are what define us. When we are born, we are defined as a child of someone. As we grow up, we are defined in terms of various relationships.
So, we are defined in terms of our roles and our relationships. And, today, there’s a great fear of rejection. When relationships don’t work out, we can become devastated by that.
And, how people behave is not really much in our control. So, in a relationship, I am there, someone else is there, and our interaction is there. So, when our we are not only relating with others, our relationship with others is filtered through our relationship with our mind.
And, the mind is always speaking within us. It’s constantly there. And, the mind infected by the mode of ignorance makes us go into self-pity.
Whenever people do something wrong, everybody treats me like a pushover. Everybody treats me like a doormat. And, we become victims.
We make ourselves victims. When we are in the mode of compassion, we think that we should be able to control others. And, then, we alienate them by being too domineering.
So, and, in this way, we are not able to relate effectively. So, in the mode of goodness, we can understand what is happening in our mind. And, then, we can process the thoughts and the emotions and act effectively.
So, depending on the particular kind of thoughts and actions that we have repeatedly done, our mental floor has become inclined. And, that’s where our thoughts will automatically go. So, we are all bound at the level of the mind.
Some people may be alcoholics, bound to substances like alcohol. We may be bound to critical mentality, to pessimism, to self-obsession, to talkativeness, whatever it is. But, this bondage is there.
And, to break free from it, we can’t focus on the negative. I will not do this. Because, that creates a sense of deprivation.
And, the mind subtly removes the knot and makes us do the thing. So, we have to cultivate positive bonds. We have to find something within us, firstly, which will counter the mind’s negative voice.
And, then, gradually it will convert the mind. That is Krishna, who is already there within our hearts. But, we want to connect with Krishna.
Through Guru Sadhu Shastra, what we hear becomes internalised and that strengthens our intelligence. And, then, with the strengthened intelligence, we can counter the mind. So, the strengthening of the intelligence happens through the five potent forms of devotional service.
Which, the deity worship, hearing, scriptures, associating with devotees, chanting the holy names, going to holy places. All these channel the various energies that are inherent within us. Social energy, emotional energy, intellectual energy, physical energy, visual energy.
These get channelled towards Krishna. And, whichever is our prominent energy, we use that to connect with Krishna in a more committed way. And, strengthening the bond has two steps.
First is small, realistic steps. Resolve to take them and take them. For doing anything, we don’t just need the knowledge of how to do it.
Or, the knowledge of what to do or skill of how to do. The desire of why to do. We need the confidence.
Just like a coach needs to create confidence, we need to create confidence in ourselves. And, that comes by taking small steps and then executing them. And, then, for making any change, you also need the inspiration.
And, inspiration often comes by looking at some dramatic result that will come. But, rather than waiting for something to happen in our life, which will bring about a dramatic change, we need to ourselves see that small changes will lead to big dramatic change. So, rather than thinking that it’s only the fourth idli that fed the, that filled me, it’s all the idli that I took together that filled me.
So, when we see people who are dramatically changed, or we see the small changes cumulative to the big change, that gives us inspiration. So, to inspire, for inspiration, we expand our vision. For execution, we concentrate our vision.
And, in that way, we can connect ourselves with Krishna in a committed way. And, by strengthening the bond that elevates us and liberates us, firstly, we get a counter to the mind’s voice. And, eventually, we convert the mind.
And, when the mind becomes our friend, helping us to make healthy choices, then we become much more positive and effective in our various roles and relationships in life. Thank you very much. Hare Krishna.
Applause Applause Applause So, are there any questions or comments? Oh, really? Yes, please. So, if we have, we feel positive in devotee association in the temple, but when we are away from association, we again relapse into negativity. What to do? Yes.
Again, there are I would say three broad steps. First is that we have to know that we are always very externally influenceable. And, that’s why we need external supports.
So, going to a devotee association, going to temple on a regular basis is extremely important. But, having done said that, when we talk about association which is non-spiritual, we don’t have to lump that into one category. Even in association that is non-spiritual, there are people who are in goodness, people who are in passion, people who are in ignorance.
Even if we say that the majority of the world today is in the mode of passion, there are people in goodness, there are people who are little more thoughtful, more long-term, more cultured. So, when we don’t have devotee association, we can try to look at least for association that is relatively speaking the mode of goodness. Even if the atmosphere is overall in the mode of passion, we can try to find a situation as much as possible, which is more in accordance with our inclination.
There is a small but significant difference can be made if we rather than simply categorising, this is material, this is spiritual, we see in material also there are categories and try to see what aspect of material can be favourable to my spiritual and focus on that, connect with that. So, even in our non-devotee association, we might find somebody who is a little spiritually influential. We don’t have to think that they have to immediately become devotee, but at least we can have some spiritual discussions, some spiritual recollections.
That way some sort of pro-devotional atmosphere if we can find even within the material, that is something which we can do. Second is that we can also try to find out what are our channels of energy and make them more easily and readily connectable with Krishna. So, for example, if in the temple we like to take darshan of deities, then try to have deities on your phone and take darshan of them regularly.
If you like to hear classes, then have some classes regularly. Maybe in my lunch break, even if I can’t have full lunch, at least 10 minutes I will hear something. So, basically when our thoughts are flowing in a particular direction, that is our default, we can create some bricks which push them in other directions.
So, they may not entirely go back, but at least some rejuvenation will happen. And the third thing is that we can try to see if within if we broaden our conception of bhakti, we see that Krishna acts not only in the temple, Krishna acts even in the world. So, if we see that even in my workplace it is unfortunate to serve Krishna.
What I have learned over there, it is not meant to be applied only over there. I can apply it here also. So, Krishna says that he is present everywhere.
So, even in our profession, rather than seeing that simply as mundane, we see that as an opportunity to serve Krishna. We see that as I have been given some talents and how do those talents come from? They came from Krishna. I am in a particular situation, particular job, a particular association, a particular position, that there may be some circumstantial causes, but also under Krishna’s supervision.
So, we can try to pray to Krishna, Krishna, how can I serve you in this situation? Ultimately, what is material and spiritual is not determined by location. It is determined by disposition. An attitude of service is spiritual.
An attitude of exploitation and gratification is material. So, if we pray to Krishna, Krishna, how can I learn to see my job? How can I learn to see my family situation? How can I learn to see my social situation? How can I serve you in this? With a prayerful attitude, if we have, we will find it. Okay, yes.
Yeah, this is how I am using these talents. I am doing this. This person has so much talent.
Where are these talents coming from? This is Krishna. So, we can become more Krishna conscious there also. So, Krishna is accessible to us everywhere.
But we can’t access Him everywhere right now. We need to access Him first and foremost where He is directly accessible to us in spiritual association. But after that, we try to spiritualise our consciousness and learn to see Krishna in all aspects of our life.
And gradually as we develop this service attitude, then we will see, this is something. This is Krishna acting. This is what is happening.
I can connect in this way with Krishna. So, this inclusive vision of devotion will make our devotion more consistent. Not intermittent.
Did I answer your question? Yes, you had a question? Yeah. Okay. So, sometimes we may go into the zone of self-pity.
Sometimes we may become too expectant from others. Sometimes we may blame obstacles for us in our practise of bhakti. I talked about coaching ourselves.
In coaching, the coach has to know when to be gentle and when to be hard. So, if somebody is too careless, too complacent, at that time, you have to be hard. This carelessness doesn’t work.
You have to chastise them. But if somebody is demoralised, discouraged, at that time, if you become hard, then just give up. At that time, we have to be, the coach has to be gentle.
Sometimes mistakes happen. Sometimes things go wrong. Keep trying.
We’ll all learn. We all go through mistakes. So, we have to find out what our frame of mind is.
And that requires some amount of mode of goodness. When we are in the modes of passion and ignorance, we just get carried away by whatever emotions come. But in the mode of goodness, we can just distance ourselves a little bit.
I am feeling irritated right now. I am feeling angry with this person. I am feeling very depressed now.
So, we can’t wish away our feelings. Our feelings are there. But that doesn’t mean that we have to immediately act on those feelings.
We acknowledge those feelings, and then we evaluate them, we process them. So, if you are in the mode of goodness, then we can evaluate, okay, this thing went wrong, or I did this, or this person did this, or this is what happened. See, the circumstances are real.
And we can’t simply say that the circumstances are excuses. We are affected by our circumstances. But what we have to see is, are the circumstances weakening my intentions? Or is it my own intention is weak? That means that if I want to travel somewhere, I want to go to the programme on time, I started off on time, but there is a big traffic over there.
What can I do at that time? I’ll have to go slow. But once the traffic clears, if after that also I keep going slow, then that means I never really wanted to reach on time. The traffic was simply an excuse for me.
Once the traffic clears, I start going faster. So, to say that it’s not that we can never be unaffected by our circumstances. We will be affected.
But the magnitude of the effect is either that that circumstance interferes with my execution of the intention or the circumstance it injures my intention itself and it makes me want to give up. The two are different things. So, we try to see if our intention itself has gone down, then a different kind of treatment is required.
Maybe that means I have to hear more, read more, associate with somebody who will infuse me with intention. Maybe by encouragement or by chastisement, whatever it is. But, if it is the circumstances there, then we need understanding.
These things happen sometimes. But once the circumstances become better, I’ll move forwards. So, there are natural human reactions in terms of blaming others, blaming circumstances, feeling sorry for ourselves.
These are natural human reactions. But that doesn’t mean that we have to perpetuate them. We acknowledge these feelings are there and these are the causes.
But how can I move on? The traffic is there now. What do I do? Let me move on slowly. As soon as traffic clears, I’ll move on.
So, we have to know that we are our only resource. Others are there to assist us. But we are our only resource.
So, we have to find out our particular frame of mind and then check whether we need to be gentle with ourselves to encourage us and inspire us to move on or we need to be hard with ourselves. This is simply a rationalisation. You should have done this.
That, we can’t just have one stereotype response. Oh, I’m always blaming other people. No, but there can be situations where others are making things difficult for me.
And there can be situations where I’m using others as an excuse for not doing things. So, rather than having like one stereotype response, we try to do some devotional activity, calm ourselves down, come to the mood of goodness and then objectively evaluate. And then sometimes be gentle and sometimes be hard.
Does that answer the question? Do we have time? Yes. I’ll come to you if possible. About how we see ourselves and say that I’m not who I think I am.
I’m not who you think I am. I am who I think you think I am. Laughter Now, I see how that influences me as a person.
I’m in a project where donors portray me as if I’m not serious about the project. And I see how because I’ve identified this multiple times happening that they’re not living their way but to compensate for that they try to shift that and keep not into it as much. We are all at the same place.
And I see how it affects me and I see that I feel that this is not the best person to work with, probably. And what I’m seeking help for is this is a relationship that I care about. I don’t want to end it or develop.
So, in relationships where you give the other person a bit of yourself and then you see that they don’t value it or they use it to their own advantage and it has an effect on how you use it negatively. So, it is said that I am who I think what you think I am. So, basically, our self-conception is shaped by our thoughts of how other portray us or how they think about us.
So, if somebody else is putting us down in a relationship but we want to continue that relationship, what should we do? Different relationships work best at different distances. That means that good fences make good neighbours. This fruit came in my tree.
This fruit came in my tree. They were fighting. This was the fence.
That’s your tree. This is my tree. So, basically, what happens relationships can work but they may not work at the same distance at which we want them to work.
So, some people want the relationship to be in a particular way. They don’t want too much proximity. And sometimes we want too much closeness or too much proximity in that relationship.
So, when that mismatch in the mismatch is not that the two people can’t work together. The mismatch is how much distance has to be there in that working. So, what we need to do is if we find that somebody is misportraying us or misusing us then we may have to create a little more distance in the relationship by which their work and our work gets separated.
This is what I did. And this is how things are moving forward. We are working together but still some amount of separation is required so that the categorisation can be done more effectively.
So, relationships what a distance they will work best at. Basically sometimes we want connection there are two human needs. We have a need for connection and we also have a need for space.
Just leave me alone. So, sometimes in a relationship we want connection but the other person wants space. And then we just don’t get the reciprocation.
But if we give them the new space then from that space the connection can take place also. So, that requires a mutual negotiation and our own introspection of what way this relationship can work best. So, we will naturally be affected by how others perceive us and how others portray us.
If their perception and portrayal is negative of us and if we don’t want to be affected by that then we need to have some other relationships which are at least as close if not closer. And there the perception and portrayal will be more positive. And through that we will feel validated.
We will feel more we will not get too much affected by this person. By that person, their portrayal of us. Otherwise if that is the only close relationship we have and that is we are getting a consistent negative portrayal that will damage us.
It will damage our morale. It will damage us psychologically. So, we need to keep a distance and also have an alternative relationship where we get a more balanced and more positive portrayal.
Does that answer your question? Thank you. So, do we have time for one more? Should we stop here? Okay. Last.
Is that Mataji’s head question? Yes, Mataji. Who had? Okay. Okay.
Thank you, Babaji, for explaining the steps how to inculcate confidence to achieve the bigger targets. If we achieve one step, it will give us confidence. But mine is very powerful.
It will start enjoying the success and will try to keep us at that stage. How do we get rid of that and move on? How much time should we give to that stage so that we can move on? Okay. Yeah.
So, when we take one step and get a small success, the mind may become comfortable with that and say, this is enough. There is no need to do anything more. So, how do we keep ourselves moving forward? Yes.
Quite often, the mind can check us not just by pulling us in the wrong direction, but by obstructing us in moving in the right direction. That is, okay, this is enough now. So, to counter that, what we need is primarily that we need some voices within us which encourage us to keep moving forward.
So, usually, we function in the mode of passion. That is just the default way the world exists and we also exist that way. We have a lot of things to do and we work in the mode of passion.
But we need some solid reflection in the mode of goodness. So, for example, we made a resolution. This is what I want to do.
Then I take a plan and I write down 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. These are the reasons why I want to do this. And then, if I have achieved one step, then the mind starts becoming complacent. Then we go back.
This is what I wanted to achieve. I just didn’t want to go to this step. I want to go much further.
And why do I want to go much further? So, those reasons, if we have written them down in a tangible way, then that’s one way to counter the mind. I have a long distance to go and this is why I wanted to go there. Another very good way of improving ourselves is having what we can call like a accountability partner.
Telling someone else that I want to do this and then we ask each other if I want to memorise verses. I may decide I’ll memorise a verse. One day I feel like memorising, the next day I don’t feel like memorising.
But then, if I decide let’s all memorise the two people. Next time we meet, we’ll tell each other which verses we memorised. That inspires us.
So, we can have internally intelligence written down as a counter to the mind’s complacency. Externally, we can have someone else who is moving forward. And they can act as someone who checks our complacency.
And also, if we study scripture and we have models of people who are way ahead, at that time and also it’s pleasant. There’s a long distance to go for us. So, if we start becoming complacent, we can look ahead to see how far we need to go and push ourselves.
If we become discouraged, there’s so much ahead to go, I’ll never be able to go. Then we look back and see how far we have come. Yes, I have come this far, before I can move on.
Let me move on. So, that way, with intelligence, with association, and with a long-term vision, we can counter the mind’s complacency. So, thank you very much.
Vishal Prabhupada Ki Gaur Bhakta Vrindaki Tai Gaur Premanandai