​Tap the triangularity of desires through good association

Sunday feast class at ISKCON Leicester, UK

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
I welcome all of you. Thank you for coming here today afternoon. Honoured to be here to speak of Shri Radhamani.
And I’ll speak today on the topic of understanding the triangularity of our desires. Desires are what drive all of us. In fact, they don’t just drive us, often our desires define us.
When say somebody is young student with a career, you know, often when they meet each other or somebody does something, what do you want to do in life? What is your desire? So, our desires they define who we are, they define who we become. Now, quite often we are very careful in choosing the things that we have around us. Okay, I want to buy this kind of phone.
I want to have this kind of house around me. I want to have this kind of clothes I want to wear. But while doing all this, so then we we choose the things around us quite carefully.
We put a lot of thought, if I want to purchase a new house, what kind of house should I have? If I want to have a new dress, what is the latest fashion, what suits me? We put a lot of thought in choosing our things. At the same time, actually what defines our happiness is not just the things outside us. It’s also the thoughts inside us that define our happiness.
Now, there is to some extent a correlation between the thoughts inside and the things outside. But that correlation is not just linear. Some people, they can have a lot of things and others, when they see these people, a lot of things.
Somebody might be living in a small house, maybe a little financially challenging. Somebody who is living in a big house, expending all his money in a big house, must be so happy. But that may not necessarily be the case.
There may be people who have a lot of things but despite having the comforts, they may be comfortably miserable. Comfortedly miserable. What does that mean? Comfortably miserable? That means, if a person has a lot of comforts in their life, but if their thoughts are agitated, if they are internally dissatisfied with something, then no matter how much they have externally, they are not satisfied internally.
So, actually, thoughts lead us to certain things. Things produce certain thoughts. But, it’s not necessarily true that improving the things outside will actually improve the thoughts inside.
Getting better thoughts things outside may not necessarily improve the happiness inside. Now, when we get better things outside, they do provide us some happiness. Some pleasure.
Now, when you get a new version of a phone, there is some pleasure. Some thrill of having the latest gadget with us. But then, after some time, the sheen, the charm of it just disappears and then it’s just another object that we are using.
The newness, which is the charm of things, that newness doesn’t last for long. It just disappears after some time. Oscar Wilde said that fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to change it every six months.
Normally, we think of fashion as beautiful, as good, as attractive. And it is attractive. But the same thing that is attractive initially when it is in fashion, the same thing, after a few months, it goes out of fashion.
And then, the same thing which attracted adoring eyes has the latest fashion. The same thing attracts a crowd. We are so old-fashioned.
And the same thing, beautiful, it no longer remains beautiful. It often becomes ugly. And so intolerably ugly that I just have to give it up and take something new.
So, when we work on getting things outside, we put in a lot of effort in that. But as far as selecting our thoughts inside, we are often quite lax about it. Now, the Bhagavad Gita offers a three-level narrative of the self.
The Bhagavad Gita explains that actually we are not just a body. There is a body, there is a mind, and there is a soul. So, our existence is three-dimensional.
Body, mind, and soul. And this can be understood by comparing with a computer system. In a computer system, there is the hardware, there is the software, and there is the user.
So, the hardware is like the body. The software is like the mind. And, the soul is like the user.
Now, suppose my computer has a software problem. Maybe there is a virus inside it. If somebody, if I go to a computer expert, and that computer expert misdiagnoses the problem and tells me, Oh, you know, actually you need to get a new CPU for your computer.
You need to get a new processor for your computer. You need to get a better RAM for your computer. Or you need to replace the battery.
Now, each of these are expensive. I can do that and the hardware aspect of my computer may become better by that. But that is not going to solve the current problem in the computer.
So, just as a software problem can’t be rectified by changing the hardware, a software problem has to be addressed at the level of the software. Now, some problems may be interconnected, but a software problem, if there is a virus in the computer, now I have to work to remove the virus. So, similarly, just as software problems cannot be solved by improving the hardware, so our thoughts cannot be improved by changing the things around us.
Changing the things around us may improve our thoughts temporarily. I got a new phone. I feel so good about it.
But after the newness of the phone fades, then, again, the same old thing. So, even if I, say, replace a hard disc, but if the virus is somewhere else in my computer, I get a new hard disc, and the virus comes in again into that hard disc. And then, it gets corrupted once again.
So, like that, dissatisfaction is caused not so much by the things that we don’t have. It is more caused by the thoughts that we do have. Dissatisfaction is caused by the kind of thoughts that we have.
Whatever situation we are in, we always have a choice to look at what we have or to look at what we don’t have. In any situation that I am in, I will choose where my focus is. To give an example, say, after this programme, there is going to be a there is going to be a prasad, there is going to be food, and assume that there is going to be a feast, but it is going to be a special feast where everybody is going to get distinct items.
Your plate is going to be different from my plate, it is going to be different from his plate. Everyone is going to have different items in their plate. Suppose, everybody has got delicacies.
Nice foods are in their plates. But, if instead of looking at my plate, I look, oh, he has got that, oh, she has got that, and I just look at what everyone else has, and I end up feeling dissatisfied. Although I have delicacies in my own plate, but if I am looking at what others have, I will not be satisfied.
In the Bhagavad Gita in the 17th chapter, 16th verse, Krishna talks about manah prasad samyakto maunam atma manikrya bhava samyakta tapo manasa manchite tapo manasa, austerity of the mind. What does austerity of the mind say? That first thing he says, manah prasad samyakta. Manah prasad means satisfaction.
So, satisfaction is an austerity of the mind. That means that Prabhupada writes in the Parpot, that the more we think of sense objects, the more we become dissatisfied. If we turn our thoughts towards Krishna, if we turn our thoughts towards scriptures that talk about Krishna, we will become satisfied.
So, often we think of satisfaction just as emotion. I am not feeling satisfied. Or I am feeling satisfied.
Satisfaction is not just an emotion that happens to us. Satisfaction is also a decision that we make. So, if I have a piece in my plate, and if I start looking at what all, who else has, I will become dissatisfied.
But if I decide, okay, I don’t want a piece in my plate, just let me savour the piece that I have. And as I taste the delicacy, I enjoy it. I become satisfied.
So, satisfaction is not just an emotion that comes upon us. Satisfaction is also a decision that we can choose to make. And, depending on the kind of thinking patterns that we have developed, the thought patterns that we have developed, we will either, in any situation that we are in, we will look at the things that we don’t have and become dissatisfied, or we look at the things that we do have and feel satisfied.
And this, which one we will do, whether I look at all the things that I don’t have, or I look at the things that I have, that will be determined by our thought patterns. So, going back to the software example, in any computer, in the software, there are often default settings. Suppose, there is a particular browser that is set as default for my computer.
And as soon as I click the link, automatically that browser opens. I don’t choose that browser, that browser opens automatically because it is set as default. So, like that, for various aspects, there are default settings in a machine.
So, the default settings are a part of the software programme. So, some of us, we all have, some of us, most of us, we have a default setting of looking at the things we don’t have. That’s our default setting.
And when that happens, whatever we have, we are not satisfied. We always feel dissatisfied. And in fact, the whole advertising industry in it, it actually specialises in showing us all the things we don’t have.
So, internally, we have that setting. We look at what we don’t have. And externally, there is a world which also shows us, get this, get that.
See, advertising industry, at one sense, it is telling us, okay, this is a new product, take it. But the indirect message is, what you have is not good enough. And if what I have is not good enough, the subtext of it is that I am not good enough.
And that way, we become psychologically manipulated into open-minded things which we don’t even need. It’s because we think these will make me feel good. Now, somebody sometimes says, okay, actually, it’s only when I look at what I don’t have, I’ll have some ambition.
I’ll achieve something in my life. If I just become satisfied with whatever I have, what will be the drive left in my life? Now, where did my ambition come from? Satisfaction and ambition don’t have to be contradictory. This is where our choosing our desires comes into picture.
We all want to achieve certain things in our life. And that’s what we are meant to do. We have been given God-given abilities.
We have resources. And we are meant to use them constructively. So, there are certain desires that are central to us, which really are at our core.
They are our core aspiration. What I want to do in my life. What I would like to contribute in my life.
But along with these core desires, there are many superficial desires. These superficial desires are injected into us by the external world or by the random thoughts of the mind. To understand the difference between this, between our central desires and the superficial desires that crowd us.
Suppose I visit a I go on a I go on a computer and I open the browser because I want to read some people. Say, I have come to United Kingdom so I want to know a little bit about the United Kingdom for the first time. So, I go on some encyclopaedia and I try to read that.
Now, while reading that my purpose was to read that particular page. But, while reading that page there is some other link, maybe a dozen other links which come up. Now, if it’s important for me if that information is of something which I need I can click on that link and read that.
But, if just out of curiosity without any interest without any real need if I just click on something else and then I go here and go there and go there and I waste a lot of time. There is something which is involving my purpose. I came here to read one particular thing but say some pop-up window comes up.
Why don’t you read this? Why don’t you read that? And then, sometimes, instead of maybe spending 5 minutes, we plan after every 5 minutes several hours go away. What do we do? This especially happens if somebody is looking at pictures or watching new videos. One video is there, but after that there are 5 other suggested videos which come up.
One after another, after another, it just goes on. And then surfing on the internet becomes suffering on the internet. I spent hours.
What did I do like that? Internet addiction is an increasing problem. You just can’t heal. I have to go here, go there, go there, go there.
So, here what has happened? I had a purpose and I wanted to do something. But I got diverted from that purpose and went elsewhere. So, there are ambitions in terms of whatever talents you have, trying to do justice to your values and being constructive and engaged in our life, that is fine.
But dissatisfaction comes not so much because I have not achieved what I wanted. It’s possible that could be one reason for dissatisfaction. But dissatisfaction also comes because of the hundreds of other desires that are not even important for this.
So, just as there is there are different forms of addiction. Alcoholism is one form of addiction. People can’t resist the urge for alcohol.
A far more prevalent form of addiction is shopaholism. Shopaholism is when people are compulsive shoppers. Shop, shop, shop, shop and you drop.
It’s so many things. And many times people shop, buy things which just from the shop, they go into their where? They go into their basement or somewhere. They don’t see it, don’t use it.
Now, what has happened over here? They may have gone to shopping to do some particular thing which they needed but they also ended up taking a lot of other things. So, there are certain desires which are important for us. And along with that there are many other desires which are not important for us.
And we often get distracted from important things by other desires. So, in our life, if we have to achieve something we need some ambition for that. And that ambition will drive us.
But along with the main desires of our life, whatever it is that we want to achieve, there are hundred other desires that come up and they consume our consciousness. They cause dissatisfaction. So, dissatisfaction and ambition don’t have to be contradictory because dissatisfaction is often caused by the unfulfillment of peripheral desires.
I see someone who has may be a better gadget than what I have or a better car than what I have and I start feeling dissatisfied. I feel there is nothing wrong with my gadget or my car but just because I saw that I started feeling dissatisfied. There is a difference between what we live with and what we live for.
What we live with are the tools that we are using, the things which we need for surviving in this world. What we live for is the purpose for which we live in this world. So, quite often, if we are not careful about choosing our desires, what we live with becomes what we live for.
Money is important in life. But money is meant for a purpose. But sometimes money itself becomes the end.
So, people think that my self-worth is defined by my net worth. If I am not earning more than that person then I am a pig. No, it doesn’t have to be defined like that.
Money is important but we have purpose in our life. Money is a tool. Money is not the end in itself.
So, if we are not careful in choosing our desires, then we become driven by desires that are not very important for us. And such desires, they not only drive us but they keep us dissatisfied. So, the Bhagavad Gita explains that at our core we are souls, we are spiritual beings.
And the soul exists in this world for a purpose. The purpose is ultimately to connect with God. God is the source of the supreme satisfaction.
He is the reservoir of happiness. And to the extent we become connected with Him, in love, to that extent, satisfaction springs into our heart. Satisfaction and joy, they enrich us.
And that depends not so much on the three that we have around us. It depends on how much we are internally connected with God. Sukhena Brahma samsparshan atyantam sukham ashrite In the sixth chapter of the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna talks about when we come in contact with spiritual reality, we come in contact with God, Brahma samsparshan.
What happens at that time? Sukhena Brahma samsparshan atyantam ashrite. It’s the ultimate happiness. That ultimate happiness, the satisfaction that it can provide us is oceanic.
It’s like an ocean. The Bhagavad Gita acknowledges that there are many attractive things in this world. It does not tell us that whatever we find attractive in this world are all false.
It tells us the attractiveness of these things is actually just a spark of Krishna’s attractiveness. God has many different names in different traditions. The Bhagavad Gita knows it by the name Krishna.
And the tenth chapter, the first verse, the Gita says yad yad bhūrti mad-sattvaṁ śrīmad-yogaṁ jitaṁ eva vā tattva devāva lakṣyottam mahātejaṁ śrīmad-yogaṁ that all attractive things, whatever it is that’s attractive, its attractiveness comes from a spark of Krishna’s all attractiveness. So if a house looks to be attractive to me, if a gadget looks to be attractive to me, if a poster looks to be attractive to me, yes, they are attractive. But their attractiveness is just a spark of Krishna’s attractiveness.
And if I’m cold, a spark, how much warmth can it provide me? If I go to the full fire, fire can actually give me warmth. The spark cannot give much warmth. So similarly the attractive things of this world, they can give us some pleasure.
But they are like sparks. And because they are like sparks, the pleasure that we get from them, it doesn’t last for long. It doesn’t last for long.
So relationships are now becoming increasingly turbulent. So a lot of psychologists now study relationships. And they try to find out what can make relationships work.
So the more or less unanimous opinion among psychologists now is that romance has a shelf life of between 12 to 18 months. That means that let’s say one person meets another person and they fall in love with each other. When that happens, there is a feeling of attractiveness.
And that attractiveness comes because certain hormones are triggered in the body. When somebody looks very attractive or feels this person is very attractive. And then in the presence of that person, we feel very attracted.
We feel thrilled. But that hormone secretion, it doesn’t last for long. It lasts for a few months and after a few months, what happens is once the attraction subsides, then the relationship goes, I can’t live without you.
Afterwards, I can’t live with you. So, there may be some attraction initially. There may be love at first sight.
Yes, there may be love at first sight, but actually the relationship will be determined not by whether there is love at first sight or not, but what is there after many sights. So the newness of things that alone cannot give us satisfaction. So, initially there will be attraction, but relationships are based not just on attraction, they are based on commitment.
Sometimes there will be attraction, sometimes there will not be attraction. But only when there is commitment, the relationship becomes sustained. And commitment means that even when there is no attraction, I still stay committed to the relationship.
So the point I am making is that there are attractive things in this world and those attractive things can create feelings of pleasure, but those attractive things are like sparks. And the spark is that it can give only a little warmth. Similarly, the pleasure that we can get by getting new and better attractive things, that pleasure doesn’t last for long.
The human heart longs for lasting fulfilment. And that lasting fulfilment can be found when we direct our heart towards Krishna. So when we learn to love Krishna, when we connect lovingly with Krishna, that is when our heart is longing for lasting satisfaction.
It’s connecting with a, not just a big fire, but connecting with the sun. So much warmth will be there to be fully satisfied. Another example we could take to illustrate this difference in scale.
Krishna is like the ocean of happiness and the objects of this world, they are like drops of happiness. So the drop can also give me some quenching of my thirst. But how much? That’s why now I started this talk with things and thoughts.
So I talked about how we want newer and newer things and that will make me happy. Things will produce certain thoughts. I got this, I feel good.
But that good feeling will not last for long. For it to last for long, actually, we need to not just get better things in our life, we need to cultivate better thoughts. And the best thought that we can cultivate is the thought of Krishna.
The Bhagavad Gita tells us one of its consistent recommendations is that we try to think of Krishna constantly. The more we think about him, the more we will become satisfied internally. Because thinking of Krishna is not an abstract or maybe internalised activity.
Oh, I just said I’ll think of Krishna. No, Krishna, what do I think of? Okay, I see a beautiful form of Krishna. I think about that form.
That’s one way I can think of Krishna. But there are Krishna doesn’t just exist beyond this world. Krishna pervades this whole world.
He pervades this whole world, that means we can serve him through the various activities in this world. यतः प्रवृत्ति भूतानां यीन सर्वमिदं ततं स्वकर्मणा तम अप्भियर्च सिद्धिं तिन्दः मानव So Krishna says यतः प्रवृत्ति भूतानां That absolute truth from whom everything has come. And यीन सर्वमिदं ततं By whom this whole world is pervaded.
स्वकर्मणा तम अप्भियर्च By your world worship. And then by this सिद्धिं तिन्दः मानव We will attain perfection. We will attain full satisfaction.
If we do this. So now basically we can worship God through our work. Sometimes this is translated as work is worship.
That work is worship. Work is worship. As an ethical principle for talking about the dignity of all people.
That is fine. But work is worship is not a philosophical principle. It is not the teaching of the Bhagavad Gita.
Work itself is worship. Then the donkey would be the greatest worshipper. If work itself is worship A thief may say my work is to rob.
I am worshipping by robbing. A beggar may say my work is begging. I am worshipping by begging.
No. We can’t say uncritically that all work is worship. And the Gita is not telling work is worship.
What the Gita does is स्वकर्मणातमप्यर्च It says by your work worship. It is not automatically work itself is worship. But work is a means by which you can worship the Lord.
And how we can worship the Lord? For that the previous two lines of the verse say that God presents us beyond this world we know about. He is the source of this world and he pervades this world. विदाप्रवित्तिर्भूताना विदाप्रवित्तिर्भूताना So that means that one way we can understand this import of worshipping God with our work is that what we are is God’s blessing to us.
What we are is God’s gift to us. What we become is our gift to God. What we are whatever talents we have, whatever abilities we have whatever resources we have, that is God’s gift to us.
Using them, what we become that’s our gift to God. So we are meant to use our talents, we are meant to use our abilities in a mood of service, in a mood of contribution. We all play some part in making things better.
Making not just our own life better but making lives of those we love better. We use whatever abilities we have in a mood of service. So we see the talents that we have, we see things that we have as gifts from God.
So if I think those things alone will make me happy, then yes I will get some pleasure but the pleasure will not last for long and I will want more and more things. But if I see those things as means for reciprocation of love and service, as a little gift to God’s gift to me, let me use them in a mood of service. Then those things will connect as we go on.
Our work can be done in the spirit of worship and then through our work also we can connect to Krishna. And thus while we are contributing in this world, while we are working in this world according to our talents according to our abilities, we can also be going closer to Krishna. And thus we can, while working in this world also move towards higher spiritual development.
But to do that, it is important that we recognise that we need time for directly connecting with Krishna. When we are doing our work, and we may do it in a mood of devotion, that is good. But at the same time, if we are not directly connecting, directly connecting with Krishna means coming to the temple, giving gifts, associating with devotees, studying scriptures like the Bhagavad Gita, studying books of wisdom.
If we are not doing this activity then our intention to serve Krishna will not be sustained. And that’s where I said I’ll talk about the triangularity of desires. Normally we think of desires as linear.
Now, I see some object, say I’m going along a road and I see some hot dog and some food, I would ask, I want to eat that. So that’s a linear desire. I am here, that food item is here, I see that food item and I get the desire.
So this is how desires are linear. But quite often, all desires are not necessarily linear. Desires are often triangular.
Triangular means what? We may see a particular object, but we may or may not desire that object. But if we see someone else who is enjoying that object, then seeing that, I also want to do that. Say, maybe a few months ago, this new video game, Pokemon Go came out.
So now initially, it’s just a new video game. And maybe you or somebody else has not heard about this video game. And there’s a big buzz about this game.
What’s so great about it? It’s just another new video game. But then they actually see somebody who is just clicking away, trying to catch some Pokemon here and there, lost in their own world. What is this? What is so special about it? And by seeing that person playing that game, I also want to try it.
And the person is just not playing it. He also got lost in that world. So here, what has happened? Just hearing about that game did not create so much desire.
The desire was not linear, but the desire was triangular. I saw that game, but then afterwards, I saw someone who was playing that game. And by seeing someone playing that game, I got the desire.
So the desire was triangular. Between me, the game and somebody already playing that game. And many of our desires are triangular.
In fact, the whole advertising industry, it doesn’t just show people enjoying objects. It doesn’t just show objects in abstraction. It shows good-looking people, famous people, enjoying those objects.
And because we are attracted to those people, we purchase the objects. Many of the, say, sports stars or movie stars, once they become famous, they earn more through endorsements than to their main profession. But sports doesn’t give them so much money as if they promote a particular product.
So what happens? When they start promoting a product, people think, maybe I can, he’s using that, she’s using that. Maybe by using that, I’ll become like her. And people are attracted to that object, and that’s how the desire comes.
So the desire is not just linear, it is triangular. Our desires, we see people enjoying a particular object, then we get that desire. So in India, I saw a particular advertisement of a Bollywood star.
This young man was walking along the road, and then there were many girls walking on the opposite, and they were not noticing him at all. And suddenly this Bollywood star came, and they all started squealing and running towards that Bollywood star, hugging him, kissing him. And this young man was sorry for himself, nobody noticed him.
And then that Bollywood star comes out, and he has this picture of a boy by his shoulder. Do you want to know my secret? What? My secret is shampoo. Shampoo.
Then this boy goes and puts on the shampoo, and then he’s walking along the road, and these girls see him, and they start squealing, and they run to him and start hugging him. Now, such an advertisement actually is an insult to both male and female individuals. You know, that a girl will fall for a boy just because he has put some shampoo.
It’s an insult to female intelligence. And that a boy will behave fairytale like this. It’s an insult to male intelligence.
But what is happening here, the emotions are so strong, the emotional identification is so strong, the emotional current is so forceful, that intelligence is abandoned over here. Oh, I just want to become like that, sir. I want to become so attractive.
And therefore, again, the desire is, I may see that shampoo, I may not get attracted. Oh, this one was so useless, oh, I want to get it. So our desires are not just linear, they are triangular.
And this triangularity of desires, it can be used against us when others use unhealthy, unnecessary desires within us. But that same triangularity of desires can be used for our own growth. If we want to nourish desires that we know are good for us.
For example, if I decide that, you know, I know meditation is good for you, but somehow I’m not able to make time for meditation. I don’t get the inspiration, I don’t get the mood, I just don’t reach the time. So now we may say meditation, it’s a good activity.
Or that, okay, I want to read. I want to read, there’s a great book of history. I want to read it.
But somehow we’re not able to make time for it. Now what happens here, we are there and the object is there. See, the object may be meditation, it may be studying a book of history.
But the desire will come. Or the desire will not sustain. However, so the linearly with spiritual objects, if we just have a linear between I and an object, the desire will often not be sustained.
It comes, it goes. But if we associate with devotees who have that desire strongly. So if I associate with someone who is deeply in the study of the Bhagavad Gita, who is reading the same book and they get so much wisdom from it, so much insights.
How do they do that? When we see them reading the Bhagavad Gita regularly, eagerly, and sharing wisdom from it, there must be something in the wisdom. Let me also do that. So by associating with them, by seeing their desire, our desire becomes strong.
Same way, we may try to do, say, mantra meditation. They may come in and say, I want to do Kirtans. Or I want, oh, sing the Holi.
Listening is nice. Sometimes I do it, sometimes I don’t do it. But if I come in the association of devotees and I see devotees absorbed in singing and so absorbed.
So tonight, I also want to get absorbed. I want to see what is there in this. I want to experience this.
So, the spiritual experiences that we seek in our life, experiences of higher happiness, of higher reality, they can either be simply experiences that come and go, or they can be experiences that lead to a lasting transformation. And whether they just be experiences that come and go, that be like blips in the horizon of our life experience, or they be significant alterations which change the trajectory of our life and help us to become better people, help us to move towards the purpose of life ultimately. Because the purpose of life ultimately is to connect with God.
Because in that connection with God, we get the supreme happiness. So whether that spiritual experience just remains one spike on my life experience, or it changes my life trajectory, that depends on how regularly I associate with devotees. If I associate with devotees regularly, then that association actually helps me to tap that triangularity of desires.
Because when I come in the association of devotees, I see them practising bhakti, seeing their practise of bhakti, my desire for bhakti becomes stronger. And that’s why association of devotees is association of spiritually minded people. The important thing in that is the spiritual component.
When we come to a temple, a temple is not meant to be just a nice social community. It should be a nice social community, but it’s not just that. It’s a spiritual community.
It’s a community where God is at the centre. When we come and discuss about Krishna, we hear about Krishna, we learn about Krishna and our desire to connect with Krishna becomes stronger and stronger. And even in the association of devotees, we can respect all devotees, but at the same time we can look at one or two devotees with whom we connect with.
We can find that kind of few devotees in a handful, one or two devotees we find with whom we can connect in the way they think. It makes sense to me. Then what happens? That will become a lasting spiritual connection for us.
They become our friends, if they are seasoned practitioners, they become our mentors. And with their guidance, with their association, we can move onwards smoothly in our life. So the facility for a deep association, if we have that, then that, if we tap it, we can move onwards in our life.
The Bhagavad Gita in 2.62 says, saṅgāt sañjāyate kāmaḥ. The word saṅga has multiple meanings. One meaning of the word saṅga is association.
saṅgāt sañjāyate kāmaḥ means in association desires. The kind of association we keep according to our desires. So I conclude with one point that actually many of us make resolutions.
There is a survey done that 90% of people’s new year resolutions are not new. That means they made the same resolution last year and they couldn’t sustain it. So this year they are again making the same resolution.
So the new year resolutions, they are not new because they are not able to sustain those resolutions. What happens over here, why are we not able to sustain the resolutions? We may say, I just don’t have strong will power. I am a weak-willed person.
I don’t have determination. It is true to some extent but that is not the only factor. We have to understand that thoughts are also things and when they are things that means that they will naturally flow in a particular direction.
So if say this floor is inclined slightly in this direction. The floor is slightly inclined in this direction then if I pour some water on the floor then the water will naturally flow in this direction. Now I can push it in that direction but for that I have to be conscious about it.
Get something and push it upward. But if I leave it to itself because of the inclination of the floor the water will naturally flow in that direction. So this particular flow of water in a particular direction because of the inclination of the floor, this is something you can easily understand.
But the same applies to our mental inclinations. Inclination often used when it comes to mental oh I like something, I have an inclination for that. But that inclination if you understand it it’s not just a thought in my mind.
It’s actually the way my mental architecture is shaped. So if say I decide the water is spilling this way I won’t let the water spill this way. Then my decision that I won’t let the water spill this way that is not changing the inclination.
Even if I say I don’t want the water to flow this way, still the water is going to flow that way. So if I don’t want the water to flow that way actually I have to make some tangible changes. I may have to reshape the floor by which the side of the floor is higher and the inclination is changed.
So changing the flow of water is not just a matter of intention. That intention has to be translated into tangible action. Tangible action can be either one thing is I repeatedly push the water in the opposite direction where it spills or I reshape the architecture.
I change the floor in direction so that the inclination is changed. Same way, sometimes you may decide I am not going to do this or I am going to do this. You make a resolution.
The resolution is good. The resolution is like saying my thoughts go in this direction, I want my thoughts to go in this direction. You have to understand that if you are repeatedly thinking in a particular way then that has formed an inclination inside us.
We are going to conceive of an inclination as a say the tilt in the floor of our mind. The mind is only one thing. So because it is a thing that particular naturally thoughts will flow in that direction.
So just by intention we cannot have transformation. Intention is the belief. Yes, the water is flowing this way.
I don’t want it to flow this way. That intention is important. But the intention alone is not enough for transformation.
Along with the intention there has to be a process. Maybe I raise this floor on this side, decrease the floor on that side. I have to make some tangible change for the intention to actually be executed.
The same way maybe I have some intention. Ok. I have understood that this Krishna Bhakti makes a lot of sense.
I want to practise it. I like the Bhakti Yoga. But just that intention alone is not enough.
The intention has to be coupled with a process. And the process of Bhakti Yoga itself helps in changing our mental architecture. What does it mean changing our mental architecture? That means that if we repeatedly do a particular activity then by repeatedly doing a particular activity our default settings within the mind get changed.
So right now say by inclination maybe, I always see the thing that I don’t have and I feel dissatisfied. And a resolution that I will look at what I have and I will try to cultivate satisfaction. That’s a good resolution.
But that resolution alone is not enough. That resolution has to be coupled with a process. So that process has external components to it.
If we associate with people who are living simple lives and are satisfied with simple lives. And there are some people who are simple living and hard thinking. There are many other people who are simply living and hardly thinking.
I know, whatever. Oh, buy this. Yes, yes, I want to buy this.
I want to buy this. Actually, they are living largely directed by the world. Get this, get this.
That’s not really living. They are basically almost like enscaled by the world. Buy this, enjoy this, eat this, go here.
That’s not really living. They are not really thinking about what is truly important for me. What is going to satisfy me.
So, when we choose our desires, when we are choosing our desires, again association is important. The more we associate with spiritual minded people, people who are, who recognise that simple living and hard thinking is what is good for me. When we live with people like that, then he also can cultivate that kind of inclination in mindset.
And further, when you start practising bhakti yoga, when we chant the names of Krishna, when we associate with devotees, when we study scripture, by repeatedly doing this, the thought pattern gets changed. Thought pattern gets changed means the inclination is in one way and inclination itself will change. But the change of inclination requires a process.
So, in the 12th chapter, 9th verse, Bhagavad Gita Krishna says, अतचित्तं समाधाति नशक्णो सिमस्तेर अभ्ध्यास योगे ने तो मान चाप्तु नहीं जो It says, if you are not satisfied thinking of me, if you don’t get samadhan, if you cannot think of me constantly, if you are not satisfied thinking of me, what do you say? अभ्ध्यास, अभ्ध्यास means factors. Still, strive to fix your mind. अभ्ध्यास योगे ने तो मान चाप्तु नहीं जो By this अभ्ध्यास, by this practise, your desire for me will become stronger.
So, that means, Krishna is telling here that don’t just don’t just depend on your desires. Determine your desires. Sometimes people say that, oh, I don’t have a desire to do this, so I won’t do it.
Don’t just depend on your desire. Cultivate the desire. So, by doing spiritual activities as a disciple, our desire itself will become strong.
So, we may have a little desire for becoming more spiritual, which is good. And if we associate with devotees, if we practise Mahatma Yoga, then the desire itself will become strong. So, that change of desire, that generation of new desires, generation of higher spiritual desires, that is a change of inner architecture.
And that happens by the process of Mahatma Yoga. So, the intention has to be coupled with the process. And that will lead to lasting transformation.
That will lead to the redirection of our life in a way that will be grateful fulfilment. Because the more we connect with Krishna, we may have many things, we may have few things, but we will be satisfied. And if we are not connected with Krishna, no matter how many things we have, we will not be satisfied.
Because the mental inclination will be such that no matter how much I have, I will be looking at what I don’t have. And that will cause dissatisfaction. But when we are connected with Krishna, we are looking at Krishna, whatever we have, we use in service, and that will bring us satisfaction.
It may give us a lot more, and we can use that more also in Krishna’s service. But what will bring us satisfaction? Not what I have, but what I do with what I have. When I have a constructive purpose for using what I have in a mood of service and contribution, that will bring lasting satisfaction.
So, I’ll summarise, and then we can have comments or questions. So, I spoke about tapping the triangularity of our desires. And then I talked about how we all choose our things very carefully.
You know, I want to get this device, I want to get this house, I want to get this dress. We choose our things very carefully, and we think that by getting better things, I’ll become happy. But actually our happiness is determined much more by our thoughts than our things.
And although there’s a correlation between thoughts and things, the two are not necessarily one-to-one correspondence. I may have very good things, but still I may be dissatisfied. People are comfortably miserable.
They have a lot of comforts, but if they’re constantly looking at all the things that they don’t have, they’ll be dissatisfied. Satisfaction is not just an emotion, it is also a decision. If I focus on looking at the things I have instead of the things I don’t have, I can become satisfied.
Like, if I look at the piece that is there on my plate and savour it, instead of looking at what all delicacies are there on others’ plates, I can become satisfied. And satisfaction and ambition are not contradictory. We may have ambition for making some contribution in life, using our talents properly, but along with that, yes, that we can certainly do, but along with that, there are many peripheral desires that come into us.
Superficial desires that are injected by the world into us. And we get distracted from our main contribution to all these superficial desires. And not having those desires, often not having the fulfilment of those desires, that’s what often causes dissatisfaction.
So, what we live for and what we live with are different. But if you’re not careful, then what we live with becomes what we live for. And that is the path of perpetual dissatisfaction.
Because we can never have everything we want. Whatever we have, there will always be new things that come up. So, our mind itself has the habit of looking at the things we don’t have and the world also specialises in the advertising industry in showing us all the things we don’t have.
And thus we end up perpetually dissatisfied. So, we need to choose our desires. We need to watch our thoughts and change our thoughts.
And in that connection, I talked about the triangularity of desires. If I would change my desires, I would understand how desires develop. So, thoughts and desires are connected.
Desires are basically stronger versions of thoughts. When I think about something, it becomes a desire. So, our desires are not just linear.
I see an object and desire it, but they’re also triangular. I see the object, I see someone else enjoying that object, and then I make a desire for that object. It’s like a new video game or a celebrity endorsing some products.
But this triangularity of desires, we can channel in cultivating higher spiritual desires. So, actually, why should we cultivate higher spiritual desires? Because the highest spiritual reality, Krishna, He is the source of unlimited happiness. Whatever pleasure we get in the things of this world, that’s like a spark or like a drop.
Whereas Krishna is like a full ocean. And that’s why if we just change the things of the world, we get a little pleasure, but after that, the pleasure will disappear. The newness of new objects will last for long.
I can’t live without you becomes I can’t live without you. So, man must have a self-life of a few months. So, why? Because it’s just a drop.
So, if we connect with Krishna, let’s say connect with the ocean, that will be a lasting satisfaction. And to connect with Krishna, again, the triangularity of desires. Just be there, hear the holy name, see the picture of Krishna, we may look at the Bhagavad Gita, we may feel some attraction.
But if we associate with those who are attracted to these things, then, we get so much wisdom from the Gita, I want to be there. We get so much taste in this new skillset, I want to be there. And that way, we can sustain our practise of life by associating regularly with those who are having strong desires for practising.
And if we want to make a transformation in our life, it’s not just a matter of resolution. If the flow is inclined in a particular way, if the resolution is not enough, we’ll have to couple that resolution with the process, bridging the surface inclination. Then the water will flow in another direction.
Like that, our thoughts are presently inclined to go in a particular direction. So, if you want to change that, if I’m habitually looking at things that I don’t have anything to satisfy, just changing that is not just a matter of making an intention. I would also say it’s a process.
If you associate with those who are more or less simple in their practise, I feel inspired to practise life. And further, we cultivate devotional desires by exposing ourselves to Krishna. Rather than we letting our desires determine our life, we determine our desires.
We choose which desires I want to cultivate. And by exposing ourselves to Krishna more and more, as a systematic discipline, as a discipline practise, our attraction to Krishna will increase. And then, the inclination of our mind will change.
And then naturally the more we’ll become, just as naturally we’re attracted to worldly objects now, we’ll become naturally attracted to Krishna. And the natural attraction to Krishna, there is perennial satisfaction. Thank you very much.
Hare Hare Krishna. Thank you. So, any questions? Yes, please.
Thank you. You mentioned that you get desire from associating with spiritually minded people. I’m just wondering, in a critical mind myself, you may not have hope.
So, is that devotee expected to be perfect before we take shelter of that person? Or is it maybe we have strong points in certain areas that we can learn from that? So, when we associate with devotees and forget spiritual desires, do those devotees have to be perfect? Actually, we have to understand what perfection means. The perfection of a devotee is their perfect intention to serve Krishna. They have no selfish desires.
That is for pure devotees. And along with that other devotees also may have stronger desire for Krishna than what we have. So, we don’t necessarily have to go on a critical evaluation of every devotee to find out at what level of spiritual advancement they are.
A. They have a stronger desire for Krishna than us. If by their association, our spiritual desire gets strengthened, then that is good enough for us. So, rather than when we start evaluating other devotees, we go into a very subjective and possibly offensive zone.
Now, how do I know who is a pure devotee or who is perfect? It’s very difficult for me to know that. It takes one to know one. So, what I can see is, okay, what is the effect of this devotee association on me? So, inspiration can never be legislated.
I may find one devotee inspiring and I may find another devotee inspiring. So, we can look at, by associating with them, by hearing from them, by seeing them in action, if we feel inspired, this is what I want to do. I want to serve Krishna.
I want to love Krishna. I want to do these activities. Then we can focus on the effect on us.
And, by seeing that effect, if that is positive, if that uplifts us, inspires, energises us in our bhakti, then we can associate with those devotees more. Does that answer your question? Thank you. Any other questions? Sure? Yeah.
So, you said that Satisfaction and Ambition, they are not contradictory. Sometimes, it is very difficult to, especially in spiritual level, to isolate where Ambition is just an expansion of your or your mental space. Have you expanded on how they are not contradictory? How to be satisfied, yet be ambitious in spiritual life? Okay.
Are you talking specifically about spiritual life or are you talking about material life? Spiritual life. So, how can we be satisfied and still be ambitious in spiritual life? Yes. As I said, if we see our talents as gifts from Krishna, then Krishna has given us certain gifts and we are meant to use them in service.
Even the most talented person, they may have certain skills, but actually, they have to practise to develop those skills. Now, Arjuna, it is not that he just became a champion archer. It is not that he was born from the womb with a bow and arrow in his hands.
And he was shooting arrows perfectly. He practised rigorously. And the Mahabharata describes that, you know, all day he would be learning and night, practically, most of the night, he would practise it.
That’s why one of his names is Gudakesh. One who has conquered sleep. He would stay awake and practise.
The story goes that once after a day of practise, he had come to the Gurukul where he was staying. And at that time, because of a gust of wind, the lamp went off. At that time, he was eating food.
And then, when the lamp went off, he found his hand properly went to the food and it went to his mouth. And he said, if I can eat in the absence of light, why can’t I shoot in the absence of light? And then he started practising that to hit targets just based on that sound. And that capacity to hit invisible targets, that proved decisive or critical in his eventually serving Krishna in the Kurukshetra war.
So, Arjuna also worked hard to develop his archery skills. So, if we have certain abilities, to develop those abilities, it is actually a service to Krishna. So, if you see it in that mood, that there are certain abilities I have, certain resources I have, and in order to use them constructively, I have to practise.
I have to work at them. So, then that aspiration is not necessarily a selfish ambition. It can be an ambition for serving Krishna.
Now, at this stage in our spiritual life, our desires will never be purely selfish. There will be some desire to glorify Krishna. There will be some desire to, yes, I also want to be praised.
I also want to be appreciated. So, we can’t postpone our service till we become pure. Because service is the means to become pure.
So, once there was a devotee who used to sing hymns very nicely. And he was singing hymns when Prabhupada came to the temple. And when Prabhupada came there, Prabhupada took darshan and went out and said, your kirtan is very nice.
Now, all this was perfection. The spiritual master is praised and appreciated. Then he thought, I may not get my association of my spiritual master once again.
But Prabhupada, sometimes I feel proud. And then, Prabhupada just patted him on the back, what’s wrong with that? What’s wrong with that? And he walked away. Now, he said, pride is one of the gates to hell.
How can Prabhupada say what’s wrong with that? Krishna says, no, last time, not one of the gates to hell, it’s one of the six anarkas. So, how can I say there’s nothing wrong with it? Actually speaking, pride is already there within us. If I think that, oh, if I do this service, if I develop this talent, I will become proud.
Then, that is an illusion. Because I am thinking, I am not proud. So, it’s something like lust.
Sometimes, exposure to a particular scene, particular object may make me lustful. But, actually, it is not that because that object is causing lust. Actually, the lust is present within our heart and that object triggers lust.
Krishna says in the Bhagavad Gita that lust is not present in the body, in the senses, the mind and the intellect. Indriyamani Manobuddhi Rasyaadishyam. So, the external object is not the source of the lust.
The external object is the trigger of the lust. So, the lust is present inside me only. And it gets triggered by seeing certain sights.
Like that, pride is there inside me only. But, right now, there is pride inside me, but I have nothing to be proud of right now. In the future, when I do something special, I will have a reason to be proud.
But it is not that. That is when I am becoming proud. Pride is already there within me.
But at that time, I am expressing the pride. Right now, I have no reason to express the pride. So, the way to becoming free from pride is not suppression of talent.
If I say I have some talent, if I use that talent, I will become proud. If I think like that, so I don’t use the talent. Then what is going to happen? I may think I will not become proud, but that pride will come off in an ugly form as envy.
If I have the ability to sing, but I don’t sing nicely, then I become proud. When somebody else sings nicely and people praise them, I am so proud. What’s the show off? So, that same pride which is inside me is now coming off as envy for some other person.
So, what we do is, in the process of bhakti, whatever abilities we have, we use them in Krishna sense. And there may be some desire within me to be praised, to be appreciated. But if I keep doing the service, gradually I will start realising, okay, I sing for Krishna and then afterwards, after I finish the kirtan, I will see who all is going to come and praise me.
Your kirtan is so nice. But that may happen like that. Before I was introduced to bhakti, I had a desire to be a public speaker.
And I used to participate in the audition competitions and things like that. Now, after I started practising bhakti, after a few years, I started giving classes. So, initially I was very conscious.
After the class, how many people will come and praise me? And, one time, I gave a very good class. At least I thought it was a very good class. I had prepared very well.
All the thoughts were flowing nicely. I spoke very fluently. And I was absorbed in the class.
But at the end of the class, nobody came and appreciated me. So, initially, I was a little frustrated. But then it struck me at that time, actually, while speaking about Krishna, I was so absorbed, I was so satisfied.
So, the satisfaction through absorption in Krishna is greater than whatever satisfaction may come from praise by others. Now, that realisation, I would not have got if I had never given classes. That means, when we are doing service, there is a Krishna connection that gives satisfaction and there is the worldly appreciation that gives satisfaction.
But when we keep doing that service regularly, gradually we realise that the Krishna connection gives greater satisfaction than the worldly appreciation. And then, the desire for the worldly appreciation goes down. So, that’s how the cure for pride is not suppression of talent.
The cure for pride is purification of interest. Initially, I do service because I want to be praised by others. But anyway, whatever it is, start doing the service.
And if we keep doing the service, we get a taste for connection with Krishna. And by the taste for connection with Krishna, we will purify ourselves. Now, even if I get it, I don’t get it.
The connection with Krishna is what I want. And that way, we can become free from pride. So, as far as ambition is concerned, if we have a particular talent, if we desire to serve in a particular way, we can take the blessings of senior devotees around us and develop that talent wholeheartedly.
And sometimes, because we are becoming too proud, the senior devotees will tell us, this is becoming too much. If I am singing kirtan very nicely, and then every time somebody else sings kirtan, he is doing this wrong, he is doing that wrong, he is doing that wrong. There is one devotee who said, you know, I was in a temple long ago.
He said, in this temple, this devotee had learnt all ragas very nicely. And he said, in this temple, nobody knows how to sing. Therefore, I alone should be doing all the kirtans.
Now, that is that pride going to a little obnoxious level. So, that has to be avoided. So, then he said, you don’t think that music is what, we are not doing a musical performance here.
We are doing devotional service here. So, we have to see devotional intention. There may be some devotees who will be very good at music.
But don’t forget that. You are not here just for music. You are here for serving Krishna.
So, if something, if we become, if the pride becomes too much, devotees will tell us. But we should focus on trying to serve Krishna. And gradually, we will get that realisation by which we become beautiful.
And then we will serve Krishna for serving Krishna to the Vishnu. Not for worldly appreciation. Does that answer your question? Thank you.
Yes. If we don’t have an inclination to do something, should we still try to do it? And will that purify us? It depends on what that activity is. Now, if it is a core devotional activity, just say, chanting the holy names or studying scriptures, then that’s a part of our essential purification process.
And then we should do that. And by associating with other devotees who have a taste for that. In trying to understand, what is it that gives you so much taste? Then gradually, we will get that taste also over a period of time.
So, now, if it is not a core devotional activity, which is a part of our sadhana, if it is some other activity, maybe some service, some devotees do manageable service, some devotees do preaching service, some devotees do some other kind of services. If I am not very comfortable with a particular service, then it is both, it is a balance between individual need and institutional need. Sometimes, the temple where we are, they may need a particular service.
So, then we may do that service at that time. But over a period of time, for sustainable practise of bhakti, it is good that our primary service be something which we are inclined to. Because we all have a svabhava, we all have a particular nature.
That nature, if we don’t have, the Bhagavad Gita talks about Brahman, Kshatriya, Vaishya, Shudra. Now, that classification of the four varanas may not be very practical in today’s times. That’s a whole different subject.
But the underlying principle is, it’s not just categorisation of the four categories. The principle is that there are different natures, that means different people have different things which they feel inspired to. And when they are engaged in that way, then they can move forward harmoniously in life.
So, there are only two verses in the Bhagavad Gita that are repeated. Not verbatim, but almost verbatim. One is the call for a devotion to Krishna.
manmanabha manpakhto madhyajimam In 9.34 mam evaiśyasi yuktvayilam ātmānā matrāyana. In 18.65 it is mam evaiśyasi satyam te patijānātriyose. Just devote yourself to Him.
Second verse that is repeated is śrīyāṁ sva-dharmo vimunāḥ paradharmāṁ sva-dharmāṁ. In 3.35 sva-dharme nidhaṁ śrīyā paradharmāṁ bhayāgaha. 18.46 is that sabhāva nidhaṁ karma purvan nākoti.
Krishna says act according to your nature. Don’t act according to other’s nature. So, if there is something if there is something which we are not at all attracted to if we feel a lot of resistance towards doing that internally then maybe that is not our nature.
So, as an expression of surrender if we are told to do that, we may do that when it’s a need. But for sustainability if something causes too much resistance within us to do then trying to do that we may say it may purify but then the price is so much. See, we don’t just want to be purified.
We also need to be enlivened, to be encouraged in our life. So, what happens sometimes when we are working too much against our material nature, that incompatibility with our material nature causes dissatisfaction and we mistake that dissatisfaction to be spiritual dissatisfaction and we think this process of bhakti doesn’t work. So, it is actually not spiritual dissatisfaction, it is material dissatisfaction because of the incompatibility of what I am doing with my nature.
So, then when we mistake that material dissatisfaction to be spiritual dissatisfaction then we become disheartened with the practise of bhakti and give up the practise of bhakti. That should not happen. Bhakti is connection with Krishna and the connection with Krishna gives us higher satisfaction.
And according to our nature if we do services then there is not so much incompatibility not so much resistance inside us and we can be fruitfully engaged with it. Does that answer your question? Any other questions? Yes. The mind knows that the practise of bhakti is of the highest level and the mind knows that one can become happy by practising bhakti.
So, the mind should do what is I mean what is happiest for it. But why why is it so difficult for the mind? So, when the mind knows that bhakti will provide the highest happiness why is still the mind attracted to material things rather than towards Krishna? The mind is a creature of habit. So, whatever it has done in the past it will just keep doing that again and again and again and again.
You can say the mind acts mindlessly. That means there is actually an experiment done by a psychologist Alexander Pavlov. It’s called Pavlovian Response.
So, he had an experiment with some dogs and whenever he provided food to those dogs at that time he would ring a bell. And gradually what happens is whenever he would ring a bell the dog would start salivating. Normally, they would salivate and see a food.
But because the food was regularly associated with the ringing of the bell, their mind started associating not the sight of the food with saliva but their mind started associating the sound of the bell with saliva. And afterward, even when he would ring a bell and not provide food still the dog would salivate. So, like that certain things may have given us some pleasure in the past.
But over the period of time the mind associates that with pleasure. And then now when we grow up spiritually those things don’t give us much taste. But still because the mind is a creature of habit, so it just thinks this is pleasure and it acts that way.
That’s why the I talked about the default setting. The default setting can’t be changed automatically. It has to be changed consciously.
So, we need to use our intelligence. That means when the mind says I want to go in this direction, but the mind is going in that direction. Then I have to use my intelligence.
It’s going in this direction but nothing over there. So, let me bring it in this way. यतो एको निष्चरति मनश्चन चलमस्थिवन ततस्तरतो नहीं लेगा आत्मन्यो वश्विवा 6.26 6.27 wherever and whenever the mind wanders, bring it back under the controls.
And by this probably what will happen निजनेवन आत्मान योगी नियतमानस नियतमानस। सुखेने ब्रह्म समस्पच्चम 6.26 So, Krishna said by doing this repeatedly mind will become pacified it will become purified and it will settle in the direction of Krishna So, one thing is we need to know that it is going to require repeated bringing the mind back on Krishna. And second thing is, what we could do to make things make that feel easier is if the mind goes in a particular wrong direction then we minimise the access to that wrong direction. So, for example if I have an tendency to just spend a lot of time surfing on the internet then I may decide that okay I may have some restricted access on the internet may have managed to allow only certain times or only certain sites or whatever So, what happens is those desires when they come they come as a spike suddenly a surge of desire and at that time it is almost resisting.
But after a few minutes if we succumb at that time why did I do that? I didn’t want to do that. What happened to me? So, when that surge of desire comes, it becomes really difficult to resist but the surge doesn’t last for that. It will come, it will go.
If we can just tolerate during that surge then we will not succumb to it. So, one way to tolerate during that surge is to not have the facility to act on that desire. So, it can be with respect to anything.
Some of us may be obese. So, one thing that obese people are told is that don’t keep fatty food next to you. But all you are hungry, keep some healthy snacks next to you.
Keep some salad, keep some fruits. So, what happens by that? Even if the urge to eat comes okay, I am hungry. Then if there is a fatty food, we again take that.
No matter how many reservations I have I am not going to eat this. But we eat it. But if it is not accessible then I have to maybe go there, go somewhere, buy it or cook it and then purchase it.
While I am going doing all that, why am I doing this? I decide not to do it. That idealism comes back. So, it is good to decrease the access to a particular weakness or a particular indulgence to which the mind is habituated.
And by that, we can decrease the chances of the mind going in that direction and increase the chances of the mind going towards it. The question of satisfaction, the question you mentioned, we should live a simple life. Is that correct? Basically, I want to ask is it okay to know what your beginning and your findings are and then basically fulfil that in order to be satisfied? How can we do? Is that what you are asking? It is 4.30. Okay.
So, instead of being satisfied with what we have, isn’t it better to understand what our minimum requirements are and try to be satisfied with that? Okay. Yeah, that’s possible. Now, when we talk about minimum requirements, what will be minimum will also be different times in life.
I’m sorry. Can you speak a little louder? Yeah. Yeah.
So, isn’t it better to know what our needs are and then get those objects and that way we can be satisfied instead of simply looking at what we have and trying to cultivate satisfaction? Yes, I think both are similar. Both are different ways of approaching the same point. So, if we understand what our function needs are and then we can say, okay, I have this.
I don’t need a phone with 100 other features because this is what I need and this is what I have. So, with respect to a phone, it may be a little easier to understand what my function needs are. With some other objects, it may not be so easy to know that.
But, it’s like, it’s something like appetite. Now, how much should I eat? Nobody else can tell me. Hey, I’m taking chapatis.
I’m happy to make 3 chapatis. I’m happy to make 6 chapatis. I’m happy to make 2 chapatis.
Whatever it is. So, by our own experience, we come to know that I’m eating too much now. Or, I eat too little.
Usually, I eat too little because it happens very often. More often, we eat too much. So, like that, we also learn through experience.
How much is the right appetite for me? I learn through experience. So, in some cases, we can start from our needs. This is what I need.
I’ll move to it. In some cases, understanding our need itself may require some experimentation. This is what actually I need.
But I thought this was what I needed. But actually, I need something more. Or I need something less.
That you learn from experience. So, it’s very good to be able to to fit our desires according to our needs. Rather than letting our desires become our needs.
I want this. If I don’t have it, I’m not satisfied. What do I need? What does my function need? And then, we move forward from there.
So, either by thinking ourselves or by experimenting with a few things, we learn what our needs are. And then, once those needs are solved, we’ll be satisfied. That’s a very sound strategy for cultivating satisfaction in others.
Thank you. Can you explain about desire and how it’s nothing other than a triangle? How do I explain that concept to a child? Because they’re the ones who are tempted with what the parents are pointing to. And how do I explain it in terms that a child can understand? Okay.
How do we explain the triangularity of desires to children? I think this is a concept that is learned that is more caught than taught. There are other devoted children, other children who are having a lot of things and enjoying those things. Our children also get their desire.
But there are other children who are very satisfied with those things. They can see that they don’t have all these things. That’s why it’s good for if they have a well-developed community for devoted children to have some forum where they come together.
Maybe it could be Sunday school. If the community is well-developed, we can have a devoted school itself. But that may take a long time.
At least some forum where devoted children come together. And through that they can actually all be spiritually nourished through the associative, like-minded dialogue. In general, children are much more mind than intelligence.
In fact, at a very small age, the babies are simply mind. They don’t have any intelligence. They just act whatever they feel.
They feel like crying, start crying. As they grow, their intelligence starts developing. But we can also, the children will always be more mind than intelligence.
But they do have intelligence. And if we actually, instead of talking down to them, we talk to them. We also speak to their intelligence.
And their intelligence also grows further. They may not immediately appreciate that or act on that. But there is a side where they are driven by feelings, but they also have absolutely trust.
So if we take the time to explain things to them, we stretch our brain to find out ways to explain in a way that is understandable to them. That way they call a particular child, a particular thing to be explained. But if we do that, if we nourish their intelligence, their intelligence will also grow.
If we treat them simply as creatures of humans, then that’s how they will stay. Those feelings will become more and more demanding and less and less manageable. But if you understand, they also have mind, they also have feelings.
Their feelings will be much weaker right now. So for dealing with the feelings of the mind, we have to provide them some association of similar children who are very satisfied with similar things. And for also nourishing their intelligence, we explain things.
They may not accept it immediately. See when we are explaining things, quite often, we make the explanation a function of transformation. Or we make the explanation simply as a tool to transformation.
That is, now I explained this, now the behaviour should change. Things don’t happen so easily. Sometimes, even when we are grown up, sometimes some things are, they make sense intellectually, but they don’t impact us.
That’s how that happens to us. That can happen to them also. So, let’s see.
We take the time to explain things to them. And at least I think there is somewhere in the back of their consciousness. And gradually, if you come forward, it will happen.
So we can address them at the level of the mind and at the level of the intelligence by giving appropriate association and giving appropriate explanation. And gradually, they will also gravitate towards not craving for the world anymore. That’s the question.
During the talk, you mentioned that there are three parts to us, the mind, the body, and the soul. Obviously, you mentioned that faults can happen in the body and the mind. So, obviously, in these days, there are a lot of problems with people being stressed, anxious, or depressed.
So, if we see that there are faults in the mind, how will Krishna Consciousness actually benefit? Are there any studies done on this? Is there anything to actually say that people become less anxious or become happier? So, is there any evidence or explanation about how the practise of Krishna Consciousness can decrease stress and increase happiness? Yes, at various levels. I’ll start with the first generic religious spirituality, and then I’ll come to specific Krishna Consciousness. There is a book called Oxford which is published Handbook of Religion and Health.
It’s published by Oxford University Press. And that actually took 2000 studies which have been published studies done in various parts of the world about the correlation between religious practise on one side and physical health parameters as well as mental health parameters on the other side. And they found a consistent correlation.
Found that on average, that religious people, people who go to a religious programme at least once a week, they live 7 years longer than those who don’t. So, just by coming once a Sunday, you are increasing your lifespan by 7 years. That’s what these studies are saying.
And it’s not just a matter of longevity being increased. It’s the quality of life. Found that elderly people who had personal faith, they had greater life satisfaction and sense of well-being than the non-religious peers.
Younger people had lesser say drug addictions or drug abuse or premature sexual involvement or delinquency. They are much much lesser. And Harald Cunning was the lead researcher in this compilation and his conclusion was that, he said a high SQ faithfulness to God benefits people of all ages, background and educational levels.
SQ refers to spiritual quotient. Just like we have IQ, intellectual quotient, EQ, emotional quotient. So, SQ is spiritual quotient.
So, that’s about broad practise of spirituality, practise of religious activities in general. There is well documented studies which say that they improve the quality and the longevity of life. Now, coming specifically to Christian consciousness, there was a study done about chanting of the Hare Krishna mantra.
It was done by a researcher Dr. David Bryan for the part of his PhD studies. And it was done at, does anyone remember which university it was? Florida State University? Yeah. So, basically they subjected a number of people, three groups.
One group chanted Hare Krishna, another group chanted any other sound that they like. And third group did not chant at all. And they found that this group, they were studying for a period of several months.
They found that the people who were chanting Hare Krishna, their stress levels, their negativity levels, their depression levels were substantially gone down. And this is a well-published study. So, this is a, now if you see the Christian consciousness movement is just, it’s been 50 years now.
So, there are not many devotee scientists or devotee researchers who are specialised enough to do study like this. So, in future, as more and more devotees become specialised in these fields, or people specialised in these fields become devotees, whichever way, then this is just a study to be done much later. But in general, in terms of philosophical explanation or analysis, you can say, what causes anxiety? Actually, I just gave a full seminar in Ohio State University on this.
Anxiety epidemic. So, I was explaining that worry or anxiety, worry is the interest we pay on loans we haven’t yet taken. That means most of the things which we worry about, those problems are not yet happened.
I get a small ulcer on my body, I think, this will be cancer. And what if it is terminal cancer? What if it is advanced terminal cancer? Now, what if I have only one month to live? Just a small swelling in the body from that, I have only one month to live, what will happen to me? So, what will happen is, many times, when we worry, we take the situation that is there right now, and the uncontrolled mind shows us a horror movie based on that situation. And in this horror movie, we are not the spectators, we are the victims.
So, it’s all happened to us. So, now, if you look at the situation that has caused anxiety, in any situation, there are some things which are in our control, and some things which are not in our control. If I focus on the things that are in my control, that same situation can bring intensity.
If I focus on the things that are not in my control, that will cause anxiety. Say, if I have an interview tomorrow, and I start thinking, what kind of questions will come up? What if I don’t mind? What if I forget all that? What if the examiner is in a bad mood? What is this? What is that? All this will cause anxiety. But if I think, tomorrow is the interview, I have 24 hours.
Let me plan my time in such a way that I can do the maximum, revising, studying, remembering, so that I will be fully prepared. Then that same situation can actually bring intensity. So, now, to shift our focus from what is not in my control to what is in my control.
What is required? One is, I could suggest, my determination to focus on what is in my control. But another aspect to realise is spiritual understanding. Spirituality helps us to understand that that which is not in my control is not out of control.
That which is not in my control is not out of control because it is in Krishna’s control. So, when I think, okay, these things are not in my control, but they are in Krishna’s control. So, Krishna will take care of those things.
Let me focus on taking care of the things that are in my control. So, when fear accelerates our imagination, when fear accelerates our imagination, faith is the brake that stops that imagination from going haywire. When fear or anxiety starts accelerating, what if that happens? What if that happens? Those things are in Krishna’s control.
So, our faith in Krishna increases. Faith is not just an abstract conception that God is in control. But actually, when you practise bhakti, Krishna becomes an inexperienced inner reality for us.
We start experiencing Krishna as an inner reality. The more Krishna becomes an inner reality for us, the more faith becomes natural. So, if you become conscious of me, you will pass over all obstacles by my grace.
So, that capacity to redirect our thoughts from the things not in our control to the things in our control, that capacity increases by the practise of bhakti. We can actually experience it. If you practise bhakti, the anxiety levels will substantially go down.
They will. In Hindi they say, चिन्ता मत करो, चिन्तन करो. Don’t worry.
Contemplate. Actually, if you do chintan, the chintan will go down. The anxiety, the stress will substantially go down if we learn to practise bhakti and focus on Krishna.
Another thing that will happen is that when we start practising spirituality, our inner territory becomes illuminated. That means, say this room is dark completely. And the room is dark, the door opens.
Somebody comes in. I don’t know who is it. Is it a friend? Is it an enemy? Is it a thief? I don’t know.
So I’ll be worried. But if the light is on, I can see this person. This person is suspicious.
We can close the door. We can discern all that. So when we are not practising spirituality, then our inner territory is in darkness.
This thought comes in. That thought comes up. We are not able to discern which thought is actually good for me, which thought is bad for me.
Whatever thought comes in, we just start acting according to those thoughts. So quite often, we nourish stress-creating thoughts and stress-creating feelings. Unwittingly.
But when we start practising bhakti, then our inner territory becomes illuminated. This thing I’m doing is causing me too much stress. And the returns I’m getting from this thing are not really that much.
It’s very reciprocally related. So the capacity to discern and to arrive at a more healthy sense of balance, healthy sense of priorities in our life. That capacity also increases by spiritual practise.
So both in terms of things not in our control, we can enter a spiritual Krishna. And things which are in our control, within that, what to focus? Do this, do that. What to focus? Because when our inner territory becomes clear, then we can make our priorities in a more healthy and balanced way.
That’s how, both from empirical evidence, as well as from conceptual analysis, we can see that the practise of bhakti will help us to decrease our anxiety and stress substantially. Does that answer your question? Can we stop here? So thank you very much. Shloka to Bhupa.
Praise Chaitanya Charanpur Ki Jai.