​Though I want to be a serious devotee, why do I remain so short-tempered?

Answer Podcast

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
So, I feel very inspired to become a strong devotee and devote myself to Krishna. But, I also have a very short temper. And, I can’t control my material desires.
What should I do? So, initially Prabhupada was asked, if our desire is to serve Krishna, if our purpose is to serve Krishna, why is Maya so strong? So, Prabhupada replied, because your purpose is not strong. Because, your purpose is not strong. What this means is that, we are innately pleasure-seeking creatures.
And, we cannot live without pleasure. But, we can choose where to seek pleasure. So, quite often, if our conviction is not strong, conviction means spiritual advancement.
In loving Krishna, there is real happiness. If conviction is not strong, then our determination cannot be strong. Conviction refers to our internal understanding.
Determination refers to our external action. So, we cannot have determination without conviction. Trying to have determination without conviction, is like trying to build a big building on a marsh.
The building is just going to sink. It is going to collapse. So, quite often when you say that, I don’t have determination, the problem is I don’t have conviction.
So, if you study the philosophy more carefully, understand the philosophical concepts, then our conviction will deepen. When the conviction deepens, then automatically the determination will also become strong. So, as far as the principles of bhakti are concerned, irrespective of whether we have material desires or not, irrespective of whatever we are doing, we should always keep practicing bhakti.
That means, no matter what all problems we have, we should always keep practicing bhakti. And by practicing bhakti, the anarthas will get removed. So, find out ways in which you can serve Krishna in a way that purifies us, that connects us with Krishna more and more.
As far as the short temper, or as far as the material desires are concerned, we need not focus too much on them. Focus on Krishna. It’s just like, say, there’s a glass here.
In the glass, I decide that I want to remove the air from the glass and make vacuum over there. It’s very difficult. Even if after a lot of labor, I create a vacuum over there, just a little bit, I shift the lid, immediately air will go inside.
On the other hand, if I decide that I will fill the glass with water, I fill the glass with water, automatically, the air will go out. So, like that, if I think, I will think I will not become angry and I will become angry about my not becoming angry. So, that’s why we needn’t focus on the negative.
We focus on the positive. We don’t have to try to empty our mind of wrong desires. We should crowd wrong desires out of our mind.
Crowd wrong desires means fill the mind with positive desires. Let me try to do this for Krishna. And focus on that.
While trying to do that, the negative things will automatically go out in due course.