To deny destiny is to deny ourselves the chance of making our destiny

[Sunday feast class at ISKCON, Calgary, Canada]

Video:

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
Hare Krishna. Hare Krishna.
I am grateful to be here amongst all of you today at the lotus feet of the Lord Shri Radhaman. Shri Prabhupada said that the temples which he wanted to build all over the world are replicas of Vaikuntha. The beautiful deities here make us feel that we are present in the presence of the Lord here.
So I feel myself blessed to be here amongst all of you. And I will speak today. Okay, is this better? Yes.
Okay. So I will be speaking today on the topic of destiny. And the theme I will speak is to deny destiny is to deny our chance of making our destiny.
If I say that no such thing as destiny exists, then by that I deny myself the chance of creating a better future for myself. So the word destiny has two broad meanings. First is destiny refers to some higher power which makes things happen.
Sometimes we say it was destined to happen. That means it is going to happen and whatever we did we could avoid it. Sometimes some people say it was just my destiny that I was there at that time and that bad thing happened to me over there.
So we use destiny at one level in terms of something which happens by factors beyond our control. And in another sense destiny also refers to a person fulfilling their potential. Say if there is a young promising cricketer and in their teenage years they have shown a lot of promise.
But there are many players, not just many players but many people in different areas where they just are wasted talents. They don’t actualize their potential. But somebody who is a teenage prodigy and then later on they go on to become a famous cricketer, a famous success in their own fields.
Then it may be said that they fulfilled their destiny. So here destiny refers to doing something which one is ordained to do, which one is equipped to do. So we use destiny in these two senses.
Something that happens to us and something that we do or we succeed in doing. So the title which I gave, to deny destiny is to deny ourselves the chance of making our destiny. That means if I deny that there is some higher power which shapes things in my life then I lose the power of changing the future for myself.
For all of us sometime or the other we realize that there is something beyond me that is shaping things. See normally we all work on the implicit assumption of cause and effect. If a friend that you know suddenly comes up and they have a burn scar on their face, immediately we will ask them what happened? What does that mean? That means that effect a scar on the face.
We understand there must be some cause. So normally we see a linear correlation between cause and effect. And that’s why we think that the cause produces the effect.
However the connection between cause and effect is not that simple. Say for example we feel hungry. We eat food and then we feel nourished.
So we may be inclined therefore to think that our eating food is the cause of our nourishment. Which in normal situations appears to be true. But there are sometimes when we eat food and somehow our body can’t digest that food and we get stomach upset and we feel drained even after eating the food.
Or we feel more distressed after eating the food. So in between our eating food and our getting energy is the whole mechanism of digestion. Which we hardly ever think about.
So we simply see this cause eating food effect getting energy. So usually the only time we remember our digestion is when it doesn’t work. So in most situations because cause seems to lead to the effect that’s why we think the cause produces the effect.
But there is much more that goes on in between the cause and the effect. And this we realize at the times when the cause does not produce the effect. Say I was just talking with devotees here and I came to know how there was a big drop in the economy because of the oil demands going down, oil prices going down.
Now normally we work hard, we build a career for ourselves and we expect to have financial security, we expect to have social position, we expect to have prosperity. A student studies in college and they expect at the end I should have a job. And normally this cause leads to this effect.
Say I study diligently, I get a good job. I work well at my job, I get increment, my position improves, I get promoted. But sometimes we will see that the cause does not produce the effect.
Despite studying to the best capacity and even getting good marks the student ends up not getting a job. So by observing things like this we can understand that there are factors beyond our control. So there is karma and there is phala.
In Sanskrit there is a famous verse 2.47 in the Bhagavad Gita So I was at a university recently in America and there was a student of religious studies who was studying the Bhagavad Gita as a part of his syllabus and he said this verse Hindus like to quote it so much. He said it makes no sense to me. He says what is the point of saying that work but don’t seek the results.
It’s like saying, it’s like drinking water from an empty pitcher. We work to get the result. I drink water, I raise a glass to my mouth so that I can drink some water.
But if there is no water in the glass, what is the point of raising it to drink? So we work to get the result. So if I am told don’t work for the result, then what is the point of working at all? So the point is actually Don’t think that you are the cause of the result. Now why is it said that we are not the cause of the result? Because between karma and phala there is something more.
And that is not in our control. So what is there in between karma and phala, between action and its result? That is daiva. Daiva is destiny.
So we could explain the correlation between these three through an equation. Karma plus daiva plus kala is equal to phala. So our actions, destiny and time, all three together lead to the result.
Two simple examples. Say a farmer wants a good harvest. That is the phala.
And for that they will do the karma of ploughing the land, sowing the seeds. But after that the rains have to come. At the right time, in the right quantity.
That is daiva. And after that the season has to change to the harvesting season. And so karma plus daiva plus kala leads to phala.
So now another example could be that if we have say a couple get married and they want to have a child. Now they may unite. But union sometimes doesn’t lead to conception.
So the karma is the husband and wife coming together. But there is something beyond which is daiva. And even if that works out favorable, still it is not that a man and woman can unite today and tomorrow they will have a child.
There is a period of gestation. That is kala. So karma, daiva and kala together lead to phala.
Now when we deny that there is anything called daiva, when we deny destiny, then we presume that our karma will lead to phala. That my work will produce the result. And broadly speaking we could say that the eastern civilizations and the western civilizations, one major difference between the two is that the eastern civilization acknowledges the primacy of daiva.
It focuses more on destiny. And the western civilizations focus more on karma. In contemporary philosophical language, this is sometimes called as the nature-nurture debate.
Nature-nurture debate means that if somebody becomes successful, like say public speaking, so are public speakers born or are public speakers made? So some people say no. Some people just have a knack for speaking in public. And because they have that knack, whatever they do, they just do it right.
So here the idea is by nature some people are made to be public speakers. And others say no, no, no, you can train yourself. And if you train yourself, by training you can become the best speaker in the world.
So this is the nurture side. So everything is ordained by nature is one side, everything is determined by nurture, by society’s nurturing us or our nurturing ourselves. That is the other side.
Now in traditional Sanskrit, this is called as, used to be called as karmavad and daivavad. Daivavad is everything is determined by destiny. Karmavad is everything is determined by our karma.
And the truth lies somewhere in between. It’s like say somebody wants to sing. Now even great singers, they become great because they practice greatly.
While that is true, at the same time some people are just born tone deaf. They just can’t understand. They just can’t make sense of any tones at all.
Now if a tone deaf person, no matter how much they try, they can’t become great singers. It’s like somebody who is blind, tell them keep trying, keep trying, you’ll see one day. No, it’s not going to work.
Sometimes in kirtans, to be tone deaf is to be bad. It is in a sense a deficiency. But the real problem comes when people are tone deaf and they don’t know they are tone deaf.
So sometimes some people come to a kirtan and just pick up a kartal and start playing. And they are playing it all wrong and they are closing their eyes and they are in bliss. And everybody around them is angry.
What are you doing? So, to some extent, some things are determined by nature. And not accepting that is simply setting ourselves up for frustration. If a tone deaf person thinks that I am going to become the next Beethoven, it’s just not going to work.
So nature does determine a significant aspect of our life. And similarly, nurture also shifts. By nature’s arrangement, a lion is made very powerful.
The lion has the mouth by which it can devour a prey. But just because nature has made it very powerful, does not mean that a deer is going to come into its mouth. It will have to chase the deer.
It will have to plan the chase. It will have to check which deer I can catch. If there is a flock, many are running fast, which is the slowest.
So, it also has to udhyamānena hi siddhante that our endeavor is required for success. So, karma and daiva both play vital roles. So, if we consider a pendulum, the pendulum, if it is not in any extreme state, then it will be unsteady.
You leave it, it will just go back. It will go to the other side. And then it has to be, if it is to be steady, it has to be in the middle.
So, one extreme of the pendulum of human conceptions about the nature of reality is that karma determines everything. That’s karmavāda. The other extreme of the pendulum is daivavāda.
That daiva determines everything. The center is where karma and daiva both are required for getting the power. And even with karma and daiva working, we have to have some patience.
Kāla also plays a role. Now, if one goes towards daivavāda, accepting that, oh, nothing is in my control. Some people, for them, one thing goes wrong, second thing goes wrong, third thing goes wrong.
And then they just start feeling sorry for themselves. Oh, nothing works right for me. The world is so bad.
People are so bad. My destiny is only rotten. So, such people, they start getting into what can be called a pity party.
They just feel sorry for themselves. And they meet other people who are also like that and they all have a pity party together. So, if we consider that there are, the Bhagavad Gita talks about the three modes of material nature.
What are the three modes? Does anyone know? Goodness, passion and ignorance. Now, a simple way to understand this in terms of destiny is that in the mode of passion, we basically interact with the world in two ways. We take in information from the world and we do action to influence things in the world.
So, there is perception, then there is contemplation and then there is action. So, in the mode of passion, there is first action, then contemplation. In the mode of goodness, there is first contemplation and then action.
Some people speak to express their thoughts and some people speak to discover their thoughts. They speak, I didn’t mean to say that, I’m sorry. How many of you have had experience of slip of tongue? Slip of tongue.
Yeah, sometimes you speak something, I didn’t want to say that. And especially if you are a speaker in public and you have a slip of tongue in public, it’s very embarrassing. So, here what happens in slip of tongue, first there is action and then there is contemplation.
So, that is typical of the mode of passion. And in the mode of ignorance, there is neither action nor contemplation. There is simply delusion.
Krishna talks about this in 14.11, 12 and 13 in the Bhagavad Gita. sarva-dvāreṣu dehe smin prakāśa upajāyate jānāṁ yadā tadā vidyād niruddhaṁ sattva-mitty udhā So, prakāśa, illumination. There is proper contemplation and then there is action.
That is characteristic of the mode of goodness. The mode of passion is lobha pravṛtti rārambhā karmaṇā maśyamaḥ spruhā rajasye tāni jāyante niruddhaṁ bharata hariṣṇava Pravṛtti, I have to do something. I have to do something.
This is running around doing things. That is the mode of passion. And the mode of ignorance is 14.13 aprakāśo apravṛttiśca pramādo moha eva ca tamasye tāni jāyante niruddhaṁ kuruṇandana So, aprakāśa and apravṛtti.
There is neither proper illumination nor proper action. And what is there? Moha. Simply delusion.
So, it says some people make things happen. They think, plan. I do this, you do this, we will make this happen.
Some people watch things happen. They try to do one thing but they do it so thoughtlessly that this goes wrong, that goes wrong, that goes wrong. And everything becomes chaotic.
Some people make things happen. Some people watch things happen. And some people wonder what happened.
So, the first are in goodness. They think, plan and then act. That’s make things happen.
In passion, some people watch things happen. That’s passion. They just don’t know what happened.
That is ignorance. So, applying this framework of the three modes of material nature to the question of destiny. In the mode of passion, we overestimate our capacity to change things.
In the mode of ignorance, we underestimate our capacity to change things. In the mode of goodness, we properly estimate. So, the mode of passion will be more nurture-centered.
Let’s say, karmavata. If I work hard, I can attain success. No one can stop me.
That is karmavata. And that is the product of the mode of passion. And in the product of the mode of ignorance, we underestimate our capacity to control.
Nothing is in my control. We just feel sorry for ourselves and give up. That is daivavata.
Destiny is rotten. In the mode of goodness, we understand that some things are in my control and some things are not in my control. So now, both of these have their advantages and disadvantages.
Karmavata or being karma-centered, the advantage is people have a lot of energy to do things. But the disadvantage is that when things don’t work as per plan, it just becomes unbearable. It becomes intolerable.
Because I believe that I am meant to be the controller. And when it doesn’t work, I just can’t do, I can’t tolerate it. So broadly speaking, if we see, in today’s world, in the western world especially, and now India and much of the first, third world is also getting westernized, there is one defining characteristic, it’s tremendous anxiety.
Mental health problems are huge. And while there can be many different causes for mental health problems, one problem, one cause, foundational cause, is overestimating our capacity to control things. It is when we expect things should go according to my plan, and then don’t go, then I just can’t bear it.
So if we consider, things have been going wrong in people’s life throughout history. In fact, relatively speaking, in today’s world, people have much more comforts and conveniences than what people had in the past. So although we are having so many comforts, why is it that there is so much distress, so much misery? It is, almost you can say, people are today comfortable in the technology, with the products of technology, air conditioning, heating, all that.
And yet, in the mind’s level, there is tremendous distress. So you can say, people are comfortably miserable. Physically comfortable, mentally miserable.
Why is that? That is because we have knowingly or unknowingly bought into the ideology of Karmavata. That we are the determiners of the future. We are the soul shapers of our life.
And by thinking like this, when something doesn’t work out, it just becomes impossible to deal with. It becomes very difficult, sometimes impossible. So, this is the way things have to work out.
If they don’t work out, I believed I was the controller. And then, if I cannot be the controller, then who am I? It’s not just, for all of us, when there is failure, there will be distress. But the magnitude of the distress depends on what that failure means to us.
That means, say, I was just a few months ago at a mental health care center in central New Jersey. And I was giving a seminar to mental health care providers. And those counselors were talking with me after that.
So one of them was my friend. He became a friend. And he told me that he works in suicide intervention.
That when people are about to commit suicide, as a last helpline, they call somewhere and somebody speaks some inspiring words, some sobering words, then they may be saved. So there was one girl, she was rushed to the center because she had committed suicide. Of course, she had not died, but she had attempted suicide.
And then they went back and found out, why did she commit suicide? Actually, she was in a relationship with a boy. And that relationship was going through some turbulence. And when she called this boy, and the boy didn’t pick up her phone.
And just his not picking up her phone triggered a whole chain of thoughts in her. Oh, he doesn’t pick up the phone. That means, you know, he doesn’t love me.
Maybe he’s with someone else. Oh, if he doesn’t love me, that means I’m alone. I’m unloved.
Oh, not only am I unloved, maybe I’m unlovable. Maybe no one will love me at all. I’ll have to live alone throughout my life.
All my friends will feel sorry for me. I’ve been in such great misery. Instead of living in misery like that, better let me die.
So now somebody not picking up a phone, how big is the event? We all have experience. We don’t pick up others’ phones. Others don’t pick up our phone.
But what happened, that event was invested with some meaning over there. So for her, she considered her defining identity, her success of her life, she felt was that I should have a partner. And if I don’t get it, then my life is worthless.
Now, relationships are a thing that sometimes they work, sometimes they don’t work. And most of the times, they require work. It’s not that they work or don’t work.
They require work so that they will work. But if we just get too invested in any one thing, this relationship has to work. If it doesn’t work, then my life is useless.
I have to get this career. I have to get this job. If I don’t get it, my life is useless.
So if we reduce ourselves to just one particular activity, and then we think, I have to get this. Well, sometimes we may just not get it. So it’s a failure is an event in our life.
But if we identify too much with a particular action, then failure becomes not just an event in our life, it becomes the defining event of our life. And that can be devastating. So if I understand that there are things beyond my control, and sometimes some things will work, some things will not work.
So in the mode of passion, when we want to control things, and when we are not able to control things, we get so agitated, there is tremendous distress. And when the distress becomes unbearable, we try to find some ways to get rid of that distress. And what are those ways? An extreme could be suicide.
But there are various ways in which we try to deny or just run away from that reality. And one of the most common ways is entertainment. Entertainment has always been a part of human civilization.
It’s a human need. We want some refreshment, refreshing break. We want just to be entertained, as we say.
But the kind of obsession with entertainment that is there in today’s world, it is unparalleled. If we consider in today’s world, who are the professionals who are paid the most? Yeah, doctors are paid a lot, lawyers are paid a lot. But entertainers are paid millions.
Currently in India, the IPL is going on. So these players in just 50 days, they make more money than what most people make in 50 years. Isn’t it? So now, why is it that entertainment is… When we say they are making money, where are they getting that money from? It’s from our pockets.
Ultimately, we are ready to pay for it. So why are people ready to pay so much for entertainment? Because they feel entertainment is such a vital need. So it has become a vital need because when we think we are the controllers and we are not able to control, then we can’t face that reality.
So we run away from that reality by running into entertainment. So life makes me feel bad. Oh, you couldn’t do this, you couldn’t do that, you couldn’t do that.
And I don’t want to feel bad. So what I do? I turn on a TV and try to feel good by watching TV. So entertainment is a way in which we run away from the reality of the world.
Entertainment itself can be a healthy component of a balanced life. But it has become obsessive in today’s world. So entertainment is a good example of the mode of ignorance.
Not as entertainment but obsession with entertainment. It’s a most people, what they get is, if people are watching a movie, it’s the scriptures say that human life is meant for something more than animal life. Animals look for eating, sleeping, mating and defending.
But humans can inquire about something higher. But in entertainment, what is happening? It is we watch others eating, sleeping, mating and defending and we get enjoyed by that. So it is not even eating, sleeping, mating, it is not even animal life.
It is second-hand animal life. So somebody, say some hero is bashing up some villains and people in the spectator are like, yeah, come, come on. They think I am beating up that person.
Sometimes people actually punch someone. Hey, what did you do? Then that person punches them back. Sometimes hero and heroine are hugging each other and people start whistling.
They are all imagining, if I was there, it would be so nice. But it is, most of the time when people watch movies, they always take something, like popcorn or something to eat. Now why? Because everything is imaginary, something has to be real.
So, when we get obsessively dependent on entertainment, that is the characteristic of the mode of ignorance. So in the mode of goodness, we understand that some things are in my control and some things are not in my control. So let me focus on that which is in my control and let me let go of that which is not in my control.
So one example to illustrate this could be an ocean. If we are swimming in an ocean, we do have some energy, some power. We can swim or if we are even taking a boat or a ship, we can shape the direction in which it goes.
Most of us, we may not have experience of going in a boat so much. We can consider an airplane. Now in an airplane, the pilot does have some control, definitely a lot of control.
But whether we consider an airplane or we consider a ship, sometimes such waves may come in that ocean that the person will be helpless. The waves may be so forceful or there can be winds in the plane. Let’s stick to the ocean metaphor.
The waves in the ocean will be so forceful that a person just swept in a particular direction and despite their best plans, they may just not be able to go in that direction. So when we start off, say if somebody is going by a boat somewhere, they have a destination in mind. But if a heavy storm comes, strong waves come, they cannot get to that destination.
Now just because they are swept away doesn’t mean that they have to be forever swept away by the waves. When the waves are stormy, at that time they will just be helpless. You just get swept away at that.
But after some time, the storm abates and then again they can gain control and they can go in the direction which they wanted to go. Even amidst the waves, they may be able to position themselves in such a way that the waves hit them less or waves hit them more. So there are some things, similarly in our life, we make a plan, this is how I want to go.
But the material world in the scriptures is compared to a Bhava Sagar, the ocean of material existence. So sometimes waves come and when those waves come, there is just nothing we can do at that time. We are going to be swept away by those waves.
So at that time, when we get swept away by this, the result is that we will feel very powerless, we will feel very disheartened, we will feel defeated. And one level it’s understandable, I want to go in this direction, they just went off in another direction. So, but once the storm has gone, then we can take back control.
Okay, now let me move on. So there will be times in our life when things are just not in our control. And denying, oh, I shouldn’t be able to control over here.
That is just wasting our energy. Better that, except, okay, I can’t control this, let me move on. And then, when we get back control, we take control and then move forwards.
So when we accept that there is something called destiny, there are forces beyond my power, and there may be situations where nothing may work, no matter how much I try. At that time, I just accept it. Accept it doesn’t mean that you just abandon everything.
Okay, this is the phase which is going to be difficult for me. Let me just move on in my life. Some of you may notice that I use crutches for walking.
So when I was one, my parents, I used a rural place in India. So at that time there was the polio epidemic. So my parents took me to the doctor to give the polio vaccine.
They very dutifully did that. But somehow, the doctor was negligent. He had not kept the vaccine properly.
And so, the vaccine ended up giving me the polio. Instead of the vaccine preventing the polio, the vaccine injection was effective, it gave me the polio. Now, I don’t remember this, my parents only told me this.
I was too small at that time. But for my parents at that time, it was very difficult. But as I grew up, they somehow never made me feel that I was in any way deficient or I was a burden.
Just they helped me. Okay, whatever situation, you can do well in your life. And when I would go to some hospital for some treatment, or my parents tried a lot of things to heal my leg.
So, I would meet other polio patients. And one of the things that I observed in them was that their biggest struggle was not the polio. Their biggest struggle was accepting the polio.
So, as long as they were fighting, resenting that, why did this happen to me? They just couldn’t move forward in their life. So, for me, somehow, because my parents accepted me, I somehow accepted myself like that. And although I had to use crutches for walking, but that has never become a defining identity for me.
It’s just a part of me. That’s how I am. But I move on.
So, I’m very grateful to my parents that they consciously and subconsciously taught acceptance to me. Now, acceptance doesn’t mean pessimism. Acceptance means simply, okay, this is something you can’t change, but that doesn’t have to define your life.
So, when we are not able to accept things, accept something, that means we think, this has happened, and this, it should not have happened, and I don’t want it to happen, and I just stay mentally fighting the battle that has already been lost. Let’s say, suppose, in 1960s, India fought with China, and India lost against China. I was frightened.
I was thinking, we should not have lost to China, we should not have lost to China. There was, recently, no, not recently, a few months ago, there was this Champions Trophy Cricket Final between India and Pakistan. Now, people expected India to win, but India lost, and lost very badly.
So, one boy, after that program, and I was doing a program in a college, he came and told me, he says, after this India-Pakistan cricket match, I couldn’t sleep for three nights. I said, the cricketer slept, why couldn’t you sleep? Because in the mind, he was resenting, why, why, why? How could India play so badly? So, if a battle is already lost, mentally fighting that battle is useless. Now, just because the battle is lost, does not mean that the war is lost.
Just because one thing has gone wrong in our life, or even if ten things have gone wrong in our life, that doesn’t mean our life has gone wrong. So, some battles, except that they are lost, and then choose which battles we can fight. So, life will give us pain throughout our life.
Not constantly, but intermittently, pain will keep coming. But, even if we have to live with pain, we don’t have to live in pain. We may have to live with pain, that means, pain is a companion.
Say, if somebody has a back problem, then it’s a nagging pain that is there. But, that’s living with pain, pain is a companion. But, living in pain means, we just let that dominate our consciousness, we let that define us, and we say, why do I get this back pain? So, even if I don’t have the back pain, why did I get this at all? And, it’s going to soon come back, you know.
So, even when we can normally do some function, we can’t do it, because the pain dominates our consciousness. So, for us, accepting that some battles are lost, means that we accept that my life is bigger than this battle. But, when I identify myself with a particular battle, and I have lost that battle, then I feel my life has become worthless.
So, the Bhagavad Gita gives us spiritual knowledge, which helps us understand, that we are bigger than our problems. We are bigger than the situations that we face in our life. We are bigger even than the emotions that those situations cause within us.
There is physical reality, there is mental reality, and there is spiritual reality. The body, mind and soul. So, the body, and things related with the body are temporary.
The emotions in the mind, they also come and go. But, the soul is eternal. And, we are that soul.
So, to the extent we identify with the soul, we situate ourselves on the conception of the soul, to that extent, what happens in the body and the mind, doesn’t affect us that much. कार्यकारण करत्रुत्त्वे हेतुः प्रक्रत्रुच्चते, पुरुशिह सुख दुखानां भोक्त्रुत्वे हेतुरुच्चते. In 13.21 of the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna says, that action and reaction, these are determined by material nature.
This leads to this, this happens, this happens. That is determined by material nature. But, what happens, what is the consequence of what happens on us, that is determined by us.
पुरुशिह सुख दुखानां, our happiness and distress is determined by us. That means, to put it another way, life determines our problems, we determine the size of those problems. When some bad thing happens to me, if I just keep vegetating on it, stewing on it, resenting it, then I make that problem bigger than what it needs to be.
So, accepting destiny means that understanding and acknowledging that some things are beyond my control. So, let me accept it. Sometimes we may have some health issues that are just not manageable.
Sometimes we may have some relationship issues. Some people just turn out to be in a particular way. We want them to change, but they are just not learning.
Sometimes, you know, say for example, now here in Canada, the weather is very cold. Now, what do we do? The weather is cold. There is no point in resenting the weather.
It is the way it is. We learn to live with it. Just because the weather is cold, doesn’t mean we have to stop our life.
We go on with our life. So, just as there is environmental weather, there can be social weather. And there can be emotional weather.
So, sometimes the social weather may just be bad. Some people, they just, no matter how we do, we just can’t please them. And if we depend too much, somehow this person should like me.
This person should be happy with me. If we fixate ourselves on that, that may just never happen. All people, in everyone’s head, a movie is going on.
And in that movie, they are the heroes. And everyone else is an extra. Everyone else is an extra.
That doesn’t mean people don’t care for each other. But everybody is centered primarily on themselves. And then they relate with others based on what is going on in the movie of their mind.
So, sometimes it’s just not possible to please some people. That doesn’t necessarily mean we have to just dismiss them or reject them. But we may decide, okay, I just go on with my life.
This relationship, however it works, let me move on with my life. So, when we expend too much energy on changing things that are not changing, then we just make ourselves tired. But, okay, this is not changing.
Maybe it will change in future. But let me focus on what I can change. So, making our destiny means focusing on what we can do and then doing that.
Focusing on doing what we can do and then doing that. So, Sachin Tendulkar is considered to be one of the greatest cricketers in Indian history. And in world history also, you can say.
So, one of our devotees is in touch with him in Mumbai. So, he was telling that one of the best decisions that he made in his life, in his early days of his life, he wanted to become a fast bowler. And then an Australian fast bowler at his place who had gone for coaching told him, you don’t have the physique to be a fast bowler.
Better you focus on your batting. So, he said at that time, it was very difficult for him to accept that. I wanted to be a fast bowler.
Now, if he had tried to be a fast bowler, that was not what it was meant to be. Accepting that, okay, this is a battle I can’t win, it enabled him to focus on something else. And he had batting talent and he used his batting talent.
So, sometimes when one door closes, another door opens in life. But sometimes we just spend so much time and energy glaring at the door that has closed. How dare this door close? As if our glaring at that door is going to cause that door to open again.
It’s like we don’t have any mystic powers like that. Oh, okay, if a door has closed, it’s accepted. Look at what has opened.
So, this acceptance comes through the mode of goodness. Mode of goodness helps us to say, okay, that is not in my control, but this is in my control. And to the extent we focus on that which is in our control, to that extent, we can make things better.
Even if that particular thing doesn’t work out, but other things will work out. So, now, what role does bhakti play in all this? In fact, a spiritual life, all this analysis we could say was about karma and daiva, our endeavor and destiny. But where is God, where is bhakti in all this? Actually, firstly I’ll talk about spirituality in general and then I’ll talk about bhakti and then I’ll conclude the talk.
So, as I said, our spiritual knowledge helps us understand that we are bigger than our situations. We are bigger than our emotions. So, if I understand that I am a soul, that even if one thing goes wrong in my life, I understand, you know, there are many things in the past also that have gone wrong and I have survived them.
I do sometimes workshops and when I bring this point in workshops, we do a thought, we do exercise, we won’t have time for that, but maybe some of you may like to do it at your home when you go back. Say, look back at your life for the last 15 years. I think most of you are more older than 15 years.
Maybe those who are younger, you can have a look at the last five years. But look at the last 15 years and think of what was the biggest problem in your life three years ago. Look at the biggest problem six years ago, nine years ago, twelve years ago, fifteen years ago and then you think about what was the reaction at that time for you.
This problem is not dealt with. My whole life will collapse. The world will end.
You know, everything will be destroyed. But now, if you think about that problem and think about your reaction, you may laugh at it. That problem came, it went and you have survived that problem.
So, just a reflection like this can help us understand that problems will come, sometimes they will create big problems, sometimes they will be small problems, but life goes on. So when we understand that we are eternal, then we don’t catastrophize problems. A problem is a problem, but our mind can make it into a catastrophe.
When we understand that I am a soul, then instead of catastrophizing problems, we contextualize problems. Okay, in this situation, I am having this problem. In the past, in that situation, I had that problem.
In the past, I had that problem. Problems come, problems go. So, Krishna says, tāṃ sthitiṣya svohārata, just tolerate.
Last year I was in Florida, so I gave this example in a class, which I’ll give this example, and then one devotee, one American devotee who told me he had a practical realization of this. So he said, once he was working in a farm and suddenly he felt some stinging sensation. He looked down, and there was a leech biting him.
Now, when the leech bites, leeches are of different kinds, but he knew this leech was such that if you try to pull out the leech, actually its grip is so tight, it will rip out the whole skin. So, he said, the only way to deal with that leech is just to wait. I said, how can you wait? Rādhā-Mādhya-Bhagwān ki jaya.
I said, how can you just wait? The leech is sucking my blood. Yes, the leech is sucking our blood, but the leech’s capacity to suck blood is not infinite. It has its tribunes, and when they are afraid, the leech will itself let go.
And after it has flicked it, it will fall off. So, similarly, sometimes problems come in our life, and they are like leeches. And no matter what we do, it just can’t be solved.
And if at that time we overreact, like try to pull out the leech, then that will cause a greater problem. Say we lose our job, say some relationship goes wrong, or some loved one passes away. Many bad things happen in life.
At that time, if some people overreact, they start taking drugs, or sometimes people even become suicidal. So, that’s overreaction. That’s like trying to pull out the whole skin when the leech comes out.
But, if we just wait, just wait, no problem ever lasts forever. So, if the problem has come, the problem will be there, it will go. So, this is an aspect of accepting destiny.
Okay, the problem is there, but it is not going to last forever. If we accept it, if we tolerate it, we’ll find that things will be bad, but we won’t make them worse. And they will go in a new course.
So, just understanding our spirituality gives us a greater capacity to tolerate. Because we understand, I’m not defined by the situation. I’m not defined by my profession.
I’m not defined by my relationships. I’m not defined by my balance. These are aspects of me, but I am a spirit soul.
These things matter to me, but they are not the only thing that matter. That way, we may be with pain, but we don’t have to be in pain. And, secondly, this is just understanding ourselves as souls.
But if we understand that, ultimately, we are parts of Krishna. Krishna is the supreme whole. So, Krishna has a plan for our life.
And, normally, in materialistic consciousness, we just consider two options. That things are in my control, or things are out of my control. But in spiritual consciousness, we understand that the things that are out of my control are not out of control.
They are out of my control, but they are still under Krishna’s control. Krishna has a plan. So, we focus on doing our part in that plan.
Yes, I don’t know why this is happening, Krishna. I don’t even know what I am meant to do. But, what do I know? Krishna, please guide me.
Initially, Prabhupada was asked, what is the best prayer that we can offer to Krishna? Prabhupada said, pray to Krishna, please, always give me the strength to serve you. Please always give me the strength to serve you. That means, Krishna, such a terrible thing has happened.
I don’t know why it has happened. I don’t even know what I am going to do. Please guide me.
Please guide me. So, we have free will. And if we use that free will to take shelter of Krishna, we will find that even if that problem is there, chanting Krishna’s name, praying to Krishna, reading Shastra, hearing the philosophy, it will give us some calmness.
The problem won’t go away, but the problem’s domination of our consciousness will go away. By connecting with Krishna, Krishna starts entering our consciousness. And then the problem can no longer dominate our consciousness.
And that’s how we can actually calm down. And when we calm down, at that time, slowly, okay, what can I do in this situation, Krishna? Maybe, sometimes say we are walking along a road, suddenly it goes dark. Now, if suddenly everywhere power goes off, we may not have the power to get the power back.
But the first reaction, we may curse, we may rant, we may get scared. But soon after that, we will just turn on our flashlight. Now, the flashlight cannot replace the room lights.
But the flashlight can show us one step ahead. Okay, here I’ll collide with this wall. Here I’ll collide with this person.
If I go this way, this is straight. So, similarly, for us, sometimes things go wrong. This light’s power goes off.
But our taking shelter of Krishna, Krishna, please guide me, that is like turning on a flashlight. So, okay, what can I do in this situation? Okay, this is what I can do. If I keep looking at, oh, the power has gone, power has gone, I can’t do anything.
Flashlight, I can take one step forward. So, we take shelter of Krishna, we pray to Krishna, that will calm us down. That’s one step forward.
And as we become calmer, okay, what can I do now? Okay, this is still something which I can do. This is something which I can still do. Like that, we move forward.
And slowly but surely, things start working. It’s no power loss stays forever. So, even during the darkness, we just flashlight, take one step forward, one step forward, one step forward.
We will slowly start moving forwards. So, if we have this faith, that if I just keep doing my part, Krishna will take care of the rest of the things. Say, whenever we get into a plane, today I came from Denver here, so when I get into a plane, I have some concerns.
I have to have my passport, I have to have my boarding pass, I have to have my visa. But when I get into a plane, I don’t worry whether the plane will have enough fuel or not. I don’t worry if the pilot is drunk.
No, there is a bigger system to take care of those things. I have to take care of my part, isn’t it? Similarly, there is a bigger system to take care of things in the world. We are meant to play the part of the part.
We are parts, we have small free will, we are meant to play the part of the part. And the whole will take care of the whole. Krishna is the whole and he will take care of the whole.
Unfortunately, when we start thinking, I should take care of the whole, and when we can’t take care of the whole, then we stop taking care of the part also. I just can’t do anything. I’ll conclude with one incident.
Nowadays, cancer is becoming very common. So I was recently with one devotee couple. The Mataji had been diagnosed with cancer.
She was shattered. It’s in a curable state, but it’s quite advanced. And she was telling me that, actually, it’s not just my death that I’m afraid of.
I look at my kids, I start thinking, what will happen to them after I die, who will take care of them? And that causes me so much grief, that I just constantly keep crying. Although she’s not bedridden, she’s taking some treatment, but mentally she’s so distressed, she’s not able to do anything. So then I heard her out and I was talking with her.
I told her that, yes, it’s natural that you’re concerned about your children. That’s just motherly love. But try to see this from their perspective.
In all of our lives, difficulties are going to come. But if you, out of your love for your children, if you can stay calm, if you can take care of yourselves and go through this steadily, then that will be a great lesson for your children. That no matter such a big health crisis had come up, but our mother was so strong through it all.
And in future, whatever problems they may face, that memory of how strong their mother was, that will inspire them to be stronger. So even if they had not got this cancer, it’s a bad thing. Sometimes bad things happen in life.
It is not that we have to assume that everything is good. Everything can be for good. But everything is not necessarily intrinsically good.
Sometimes bad things happen. So if this cancer had not happened, you could have taken care of your children very nicely. But you can see that even this cancer is an opportunity for you to teach a very valuable lesson to your children.
Something which you would not be able to teach otherwise. So after that her husband called me and told me that there is complete change for her in her perspective. And they found that many times when people get diseases, it is more than the disease hurting them, it is the mind that hurts them.
And then, this was a particular incident, but I found earlier also, that somehow if those who are sick, if their mind can be solaced, then actually the treatment starts working better. Because sometimes the mind comes between the medicine and the body. The medicine is meant to act on the body, but when the mind is filled with negative emotions, the medicine can’t act.
So if we can learn that whatever, this big door has closed, but some door is opening over here. We look for that positive. It’s not that we trivialize.
It’s not that everything that happens is good. Bad things do happen. And we acknowledge it is bad.
But we don’t have to obsess over it. We look for the good in it. By that, we will be able to create a positive future even amidst that negativity.
We don’t know what the future holds. But we know who holds the future. We don’t know what the future holds.
Anything can happen in the future. But we know that Krishna is always in control. He is always our well-wisher.
He holds the future. So what we need to do is, we need to hold on to the present and do the best in the present in a mood of service to Him. If we do that, Krishna will take care of the future.
We often look at the present and plan the future. Krishna looks at the future and plans the present. So Krishna can see much, much further than what we can see.
So sometimes when the bad things happen, we come to the temple, Krishna, please help me, help me, help me. Krishna, this is the problem and this is the solution. Please make the solution happen.
So when we are doing this, we are actually half trusting Krishna. Why half trusting? That means we have faith in Krishna’s power. Krishna, I can’t solve this problem, you can.
So please solve it. We have faith in Krishna’s power, but we don’t have faith in Krishna’s intelligence. We think, Krishna, let’s form a relationship.
The terms of the relationship are my intelligence and your power. I have a solution to the problem, you make it work. Krishna doesn’t work like that.
Now if we have faith in Krishna, we can have faith, not just in his power, but also in his intelligence. That he has, he is our greatest well-wisher. He wants the best for us.
So, yes, we can certainly, if some problem is there, we can pray for the solution of the problem. But we don’t make our relationship with Krishna conditional to the solution of the problem. Krishna, this is the problem.
I feel if this works out, this problem will get solved. Please, if it is your will, let it happen. But if you have some other plan, please guide me to accept it and to do my part in that plan.
So we can make, Prabhupada says, a devotee desires, but a devotee does not demand. We are individuals and naturally we can have desires, we can express our desires. But we don’t demand, Krishna, you have to make this happen.
If we keep ourselves faithful to Krishna, doing what we can, we’ll find that the darkness will go away and the lights will come back. Sometimes when the darkness is there, we just can’t see much ahead. But we can take one step forward, one step forward, one step forward.
And as we keep doing that, we cover a significant distance and in due course, lights do come back. So Krishna, through our difficulties, he is there with us in our hearts. And he will help us overcome whatever difficulties we face.
So we have to accept destiny and we can make our destiny. In doing both, our Krishna Bhakti can help us. In accepting our destiny, oh, this is not in my control, I accept it.
Krishna must be having some plan. In accepting our destiny, our Krishna Bhakti can help. And in making our destiny, that means in doing our part in shaping the future, Krishna Bhakti can also help us.
Because we understand that, okay, this is what I can do, this is the step I can take, this is the step I can take. By our Krishna Bhakti, we can stop fighting the battles that have been lost. We can focus on fighting the battle that can be fought.
And that way, we can go through difficulty, not only to safety, but ultimately to the supreme safety of Krishna’s lotus feet. Through those difficulties, if we take shelter of Krishna, we will get greater realization that Krishna is for real, that Krishna Bhakti gives us shelter for real. And that realization will be a far greater gain than just a problem-free life.
The problem comes, the problem if it makes us take shelter of Krishna. And you find this really, without Krishna Bhakti, I would have collapsed. But, now with Krishna Bhakti, I am able to go through this.
I sometimes write poetry, so once I wrote a Hindi poem, one part of it was, आए संकट तो हुआ साक्षादकार, आए संकट तो हुआ साक्षादकार, बिना भक्ति के कैसा करता इने पार। बिना भक्ति के कैसा करता इने पार। So, when distresses come, when dangers come, rather than resenting, why has this problem come? Even this problem, 10 years ago, 20 years ago, when I was not practicing Bhakti, I would have collapsed. But now, I am able to pass through this. So sometimes when we see the problem, when we say the problem means Krishna doesn’t love me, where is Krishna existing also? But instead, if we take shelter of Krishna, if we chant Krishna’s name, pray to Krishna, we will see that Krishna is there with us.
He is giving us shelter from those problems. It says in the famous pastime of Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, when Haridas Thakur was being beaten in the marketplaces, Chaitanya Mahaprabhu had himself covered his back with his body, and he was taking the blows. So we realize that if we take shelter of Krishna, Krishna will be there as a buffer.
The problems will be there, life’s blows will hit us. But they won’t hurt us that much. Because our consciousness will be absorbed in Krishna.
And that realization, that Krishna can shelter us from life’s greatest problems, that is life’s greatest gain. That will help us to face life’s greatest storms, and beyond that, it will help us to attain life’s ultimate destination. That will help us to return to Krishna’s lotus feet.
To be freed from this world of anxiety, and to be reunited in an eternal bond of love with Him. I’ll summarize. I spoke today on the topic of how, by denying destiny, we lose our chance to shape our destiny.
I started by talking about, destiny has two meanings. One is something that happened to us, just by something beyond our control, and something which we do by our efforts. So we have some talents, and we fulfill those talents.
We fulfill our destiny in that sense. So, I talked about how, despite our best efforts, sometimes things just don’t work. Like say, the economy goes down, we don’t get jobs, we can’t be financially prosperous.
So, there are two schools of thought. One is that, our actions alone determine our results. That’s karma vata.
Or in western psychology, it is the nurture school. And the other is, nothing is in my control. That is daiva vata.
That is the nature school. Everything is ordained. But the balanced understanding is, karma, plus daiva, plus kala, leads to phala.
So just like a farmer plowing the land, or a couple want to conceive a child. Their effort, plus some higher plan, with the passage of time, leads to result. Normally, when cause produces effect, we don’t see anything in between.
I eat, I get energy. But when the cause does not produce the result expected, then we start thinking, what is going on? That’s an opportunity for us to realize, that there is something more that is required for the result. So when we, I discuss about three modes of nature.
Goodness means, there is first contemplation, then action. Passion means, there is first action, then contemplation. Ignorance means, there is either action or contemplation.
Only delusion. The nurture school, or karmavar, is a product of the mode of passion. Where we think that I should be able to do whatever I set my mind on.
And when I can’t do it, it just becomes unbearable. And because most of the western world is driven by this karmavar, so the inability to accept that things don’t go according to my plan, that is what causes mental distress. And when we can’t bear those bad feelings, to escape from that, we dive into entertainment.
That’s why entertainment is such an obsession in today’s world. Sometimes when we feel that, when a failure is just an event in life, but it becomes a defining event of our life, we feel what is the use of living also. So one person not responding to a phone call, can make somebody suicide.
Because they have reduced themselves to just that one thing, as their defining identity in life. So in the mode of goodness, we see that even if one battle is lost, there are other battles that I can still fight and win. So we are swimming in an ocean, sometimes the waves may push us in some direction, that we don’t want to go.
But after those waves abate, we can continue moving. So to focus on that which is in our control, and to let go of that which is not in our control, that is the way we can make our destiny. And then how does spiritual knowledge help us in this? Our spirituality helps us to understand that we are bigger than our problems.
We may have to live with pain, but we don’t have to live in pain. The mind may tend to catastrophize problems, but we can contextualize them. By understanding our eternity, we can accept problems, accept pain, without overreacting.
Just like a leech is biting, let it bite, it will leave after its jubul zakir. And then further if we understand that Krishna is in control, then even when bad things are happening, Krishna can bring something good out of the bad. So we let Krishna take care of that which is not in our control, and focus on what is in our control.
When power goes off, we just focus on turning on our flashlight. When things seem to be going wrong, when destiny seems to be unfavorable, we say, Krishna, how can I serve you? Let me take one step in your service. So our service attitude, Krishna, how can I serve you? That is like the flashlight, which shows one step, one step, one step forward.
And gradually the power will come back. So when the door closes in life, rather than glaring at the door, we look at what has opened. And even in great difficulties, there are lessons to be learned and lessons to be taught.
Like when somebody has got cancer, a lesson to be taught to loved ones is that how one can be strong amidst distress. A lesson to be learned could be that the spiritual is for real. If I take shelter of Krishna, then I can actually experience relief even amidst these problems.
And that realization of the reality of Krishna’s shelter is life’s greatest gain. That will equip us to face life’s greatest difficulties, and that will take us ultimately to life’s supreme destination. So I’ll conclude that whatever, with one sentence, whatever karma may get us to, bad things happen to us because of our past karma.
Whatever karma may get us to, Krishna will get us through. Whatever karma may get us to, Krishna will get us through. Thank you very much.
Hare Krishna. Hare Krishna.