Understanding how our mind makes us misunderstand 3 – Misunderstanding Krishna

[Retreat on Instincts, Impulses, Intelligence at Melbourne, Australia]

PPT:

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
In the previous session, I talked about how we can deal with the problems that the mind creates in our relationship with others. And I concluded by talking about how we need to be based in an orderly independence.
That means we have to not be inordinately dependent on others. Now this is possible when we have a balanced understanding of our roles in this world when we are functioning. We all have a sense of our identity.
And we define ourselves. Okay, I have a particular name, a particular nationality, a particular profession. Now all these are parts of our self-identification.
But most of us, we identify ourselves most strongly in terms of our relationships. I identify myself as, say, the son of somebody. We identify ourselves as the husband of someone, the wife of someone, the mother of someone, the father of someone.
Now these identifications are all important. At the same time, if any of this becomes our defining identity, if I identify myself as the mother of someone, and if my child starts going off on some wrong track, then I feel as if my whole life is a waste. If I identify myself in a relationship with someone.
Yesterday evening we had a class. How many of you were there for yesterday evening’s class? Okay, a few of you. Yeah, so I was talking about how one of the greatest modern fears is the fear of rejection.
People feel that if I form a relationship and other person rejects me. That’s like a nightmare for them. So if I identify myself in terms of any relationship, any horizontal relationship with this world, and if some problem comes up in that relationship, then that can be devastating for me.
So these relationships are important, but they cannot be our defining identity. The practise of bhakti yoga is not just about wearing a particular dress or chanting a particular mantra or going to a particular temple. It is about changing our inner identification.
Who am I? And that means I identify myself in my relationship with Krishna. He says that I am not a brahmin, kshatriya, vaisya, shudra. I am not a brahmachari, prahasna, vanaprastha, sanyasi.
I am simply the servant of the servant of the servant of the lord of the gopis. So he is now he acted very irresponsibly as a sanyasi. He was a learned like a brahmana, but he’s not identifying himself with that.
So our defining identity has to be based on our vertical relationship with Krishna. We have horizontal relationship with others in the world. And we have a vertical relationship with Krishna.
So our first and foremost identity is I am a servant of Krishna. And as a servant of Krishna, I am the wife of someone. I am the husband of someone.
I am the father of someone. I am the brother of someone. I am the mother.
I am the daughter of someone. I am the son of someone. All these are relationships which are important, but they are all services that we are doing to Krishna in our defining relationship with him.
So we get rooted in our defining identity and then we have our other identities. So when any relationship goes wrong, that disorients us. And to the extent that relationship is important for us, to that extent it will disturb us.
When any relationship has a problem, then we feel unloved in that relationship. To feel unloved is distressing. But to feel unloveable is devastating.
Because if I start feeling that this problem is not just because this person is not reciprocating with my love, it is because there is something wrong in me because of which no one will have affection for me, then most often when people commit suicide, it is not so much because they have some problems. Yes, they have problems, but many people have problems. It is when people, because of their problems, feel that they are unloved and they will never be loved.
And so many times in suicide intervention, one of the time-tested strategies is just a little kindness. Just hear somebody say, I am so lonely, no one cares for me. Just hear the person a little bit, talk with them kindly, and there they feel valued, the inclination goes down.
So to feel unloveable can be devastating. And to counter this, we need to be situated in the understanding of Krishna’s unfailing love for us. There is nothing we can ever do that can make Krishna stop loving us.
Nothing, no matter how sinful, how offensive, how much wrong an action we may do, Krishna is never going to leave our heart and go away. He is always there in our hearts. Gajendra Raina’s prayer says, my dear Lord, please release me from the illusion that I am caught in.
So he says, the Lord may say, but you are caught in this illusion by your own past karma. The Lord may say, why should I liberate you? But because you are free, I am bound. The Lord may say, but you are bound by your own karma.
Oh, but muktaya bhuri karunaya, you are very merciful. The Lord may say that, I have tried so many times to help you, but you have never rejected, you have always rejected my help. You have not reciprocated.
My dear Lord, you never get tired of trying to help me. You are tirelessly there in the heart. So nothing will make Krishna give up on us.
When this relationship with Krishna becomes our anchor, then whatever ups and downs come in our relationships, we can face them. Because our basic sense of self-identity and self-worth is not damaged. So I am a servant of Krishna, and let me find out how I can serve him.
This service is not working out, let me see what I can do. So now, what if sometimes we start feeling that Krishna, okay, it’s nice to hear that Krishna loves me, loves unfailing, but how do I pursue that love? When somebody loves me, we can see their actions, we can see them, we can know that they have affection for us. So especially if things start going wrong in our life, then we may start feeling, does Krishna really care? So let’s have some reflections so that we can understand and appreciate Krishna’s love for us.
The first point is that our very existence requires the existence of hundreds of things beyond our control. For us to live, we need air, we need water. When we eat food, there’s a whole mechanism for digesting the food.
Now we don’t do any of that. You will say, I work hard and I get money and I take care of myself. But our working hard and providing for ourselves is actually secondary.
Every morning when birds go out and chirp and search for grains, they have to make efforts to search for grains. But their searching does not produce the grains. The grains are already there.
Similarly, we have to make efforts, but even with our best efforts, we could not even exist if the resources for our existence were not out there. So our very existence is founded on the existence of congenial factors out there. And we are not controlling them.
So they are arranged for us. So our very existence is the sign that there is some benevolence which is facilitating our existence. Now sometimes the bad things may happen, but there is a foundation that our existence would have itself not been possible if the hundreds of other factors out there were hostile to us.
Beyond that, when sometimes bad things start happening in our life, we have to understand the breadth of our existence. The breadth means that we are not just physical creatures. It is physical, mental and spiritual.
There are multiple dimensions to our existence. And something which may appear to be damaging at an external level may actually be beneficial at an internal level. Suppose somebody has got cancer and they take treatment.
Sometimes cancer treatment has an unwarranted effect. Sometimes people lose their hair because of that. Losing hair is a bad thing.
But in the process of losing the hair, I have saved my life. The tumour is removed. Then we cannot just look at one level of things.
Similarly, many times if we just look at externals, we feel that things are going wrong. But that same thing which may be damaging externally, that may actually be uplifting, purifying, healing us internally. So, we cannot only look at the material level.
We have to look deeper at the emotional and the spiritual levels. Further, we have to understand the length of our existence. That means our present lifespan is actually just one phase in our existence.
And even within our lifespan, the present difficulty that we are facing, there is also one phase. So, we look at the present and prepare the future, plan for the future. Krishna looks at the future and plans for the present.
So, a child may have some pain in the stomach. A child thinks, I will go to a doctor and the doctor will free me from the pain. But when he goes to the doctor, the doctor gives an injection.
I have pain and you are causing me more pain now. But that doctor sees the future consequences. His infection has to be removed.
And therefore, what the doctor does is gives the injection over there. Similarly, we do not know what the future holds. Krishna knows and Krishna is preparing for, wants the best future for us and he orients the present accordingly.
So, that is why if we look only at the present and we think, why are these bad things happening to me? But we cannot look at the present fragmented from the past and the future. Suppose somebody goes into a movie in which there is a particular person who is a hero. And all that you see in the movie is that that person is just being beaten up.
And you say, what is this? How is this person a hero just getting beaten up? But if you watch till the end of the movie, then you will see, oh, this hero after being beaten up so many times actually became stronger and then eventually won. So, you have to watch the movie till the end. Similarly, we cannot fragment the present from the plan of Krishna which goes far beyond the present.
And this is the most important thing for us practically. Sometimes when we have a problem, we expect release from the problem. Krishna, please end this problem.
Yes, the problem will end in due course. But if that is all that we are expecting from Krishna, then we will feel Krishna is not reciprocating. But if we seek release amidst the problem, that means, okay, this problem is there.
But let me observe myself in Krishna. Let me pray to Krishna. Let me connect with Krishna right now.
Even amidst the problem, by trying to absorb ourselves in Krishna, we will experience relief. We will experience calmness. We will experience shelter.
So, when I was in America, we had one of the biggest storms, hurricanes. And I was in Florida, Hurricane Irma came over there. So, there were people who were staying.
After the floods came and the water was rising, rising, rising. So, it was complete chaos for quite some time. So, one devotee shared a story that actually it was a house just two stories.
And it’s in the ground floor. And then as the water started rising, rising, it became so bad. What to do? What to do? What to do? What to do? And then finally, sometimes what happens, the mind gets so paralysed with fear, that something obvious also doesn’t come to the mind.
Then you’re just getting paralysed, getting fearful, getting fearful. And then he just talked with some other devotee on phone. Everybody was there.
He says, you know, he said that, okay, we are in one story house. We’re really panicking. We have to go from here.
He says, at least you have two story house. You can go to the next level. Oh, yeah, actually others are in far more difficult situation than me.
So, then he actually just went to the second story. And there the water rose, rose, rose. It came to up to maybe half on the first level.
And then it went down. So, now, if I’m expecting why is this water rising? Why is this water rising? Why is this water rising? When the water is rising, that we can’t stop. But we can rise above by which the water will not affect us.
So, our existence is multi-dimensional. There is material and there is spiritual. So, sometimes when we have a problem at the material level, we expect or demand the problem be solved.
And it will be dealt with a new course. But what we need to do is rise to the spiritual level. It’s like a higher level of reality.
Just absorb ourselves in Krishna. If outside is very hot. And I want some relief.
So, I come into a room which has AC. I’ll get some relief. But instead of coming inside the room, I come right near the room, open the door, and then expect the AC to cool the whole atmosphere.
That is not going to happen. The atmospheric temperature will change in its own due course. But right now, let me come inside the room.
Let me get some relief. Let me get some comfort. And then I can go out and see what to do.
So, remembrance of Krishna is like the air-conditioned room. Remembrance of Krishna is like the second story building. So, we need to, rather than expect or demand the problem be solved, we need to shift our consciousness and absorb ourselves in Krishna.
When we do that, even amidst the problem, we can experience relief. Yes, this problem is there, but I am feeling calmness. In absorption in Krishna, I am getting shelter.
And this will help us not only to more maturely deal with the problem, but also it will give us the conviction that the spiritual level of reality is for real. Normally, we may not really take shelter of Krishna. Yes, chanting is nice, but I have many other things to do in life also.
So, we don’t take shelter of Krishna so much. But when adversity has come, at that time, if we just raise our consciousness, we will experience relief. And with that relief, then we can become calmer and then deal with the external problem.
So, this is something which every one of us can experience. It may be through chanting, it may be through kirtan, it may be through studying scriptures, just praying to the deities. Let’s absorb ourselves in Krishna and the relief is there for sure.
But if we come to Krishna and even while chanting Hare Krishna, when is this problem going to go away? Hare Krishna. Why has this problem not gone? Hare Krishna. Oh no, still the problem is there.
Krishna, Krishna. Oh, when will this problem go? Hare, Hare, Hare. Is the chanting of any use? So, what is happening? Even when we are chanting, we are not Krishna conscious, we are problem conscious.
And then, we don’t actually give Krishna the opportunity to give us the experience of higher reality. So, it’s not that the problems are unimportant or problems are not real. Problems are real and they need to be really dealt with.
But we all go through phases in our life and in some phases problems may be there. So, rather than making our bhakti conditional to the solution of the problem, we focus on just taking shelter of Krishna and then come back and deal with the problem. So, this instead of expecting release from problems, we can seek relief amidst the problem by raising our consciousness above.
Now, how can we do this? So, for this, we need to cultivate aggressive gratitude. Now, what is aggressive gratitude? That means that, that now aggression normally means somebody goes beyond the normal territory to some other territory. Say, China had recently intruded into some territory of India.
So, that is aggression means going beyond a normal territory. So, aggressive gratitude means that there are certain things about which we normally feel grateful about. But we go beyond those things and in other things also try to find gratitude.
So, we look for actively, look for reasons to be grateful. Now, in this, there is a difference. We cannot be grateful for all situations.
But we can be grateful in all situations. Grateful for all situations means, you know, when bad things happen, suppose somebody gets cancer, somebody loses a job, somebody gets some big relationship upheaval. Now, we cannot be grateful for that.
That is a problem. That is a bad thing. And it is not that you have to somehow imagine that it is good.
Bad things do happen. But even if we cannot be grateful for all situations, we can be grateful in all situations. How can we be grateful? Our mind will look at the problem.
You know, why did this happen? Why did this happen? Why did this happen? And our mind will make us feel not grateful, but resentful. So, aggressive gratitude means we shift our focus elsewhere. So, how can we be grateful in all situations? Especially when bad things happen, there are three reflections we can do.
When bad things happen, our mind just hooks on to the bad thing. But we can look at the things that are still good. That our mind looks at… Our mind will by default count problems.
This problem I have got. This problem I have. And we get obsessed with problems.
But with our intelligence, we understand, okay, this is how the mind is creating negativity within me because I am focussing on the problem. So, let me shift my consciousness and let me use my intelligence to count my blessings. Okay, what all is right in my life? Even if my health is spoiled, okay, at least I have medical insurance.
I have friends who can take care. There is… This is curable. And we can look at, in all situations, look at what are the things that are right.
And if we look at that, then we will find that there is quite a few things which are right in our life. I met one devotee from Israel recently and he said that every morning when he chants, while chanting, he can hear the bomb exploding and bullets being shot on both the sides. It is just about 20 miles from there.
So, he said that actually I live… Sometimes we say live in the shadow of something. He says I live in the sound of death. So, I have the sound of death, the bullets going on and I have the sound of the Hare Krishna Maha Mantra going on.
So, none of us are living in that kind of situation. So, if we consider, there are many things which are right in our life. So, by shifting our focus to what is right, we can feel grateful for that.
And specifically, we can look at the good things that help us to deal with the bad things. Bad things happen to everyone in the world. But even if, say, my health is spoiled, even whatever has happened, yeah, there is, I still have, as I said earlier, I can look at not just the general good things, but is there some good thing which helps me to deal with this specific bad thing? Okay, I know a trustworthy doctor and that doctor is trying the best to heal me.
Then that is, not just a good thing, but it is a good thing that can help me to deal with the bad thing. So, I can, it is difficult for me to be grateful for the bad thing. But I can be grateful for this good thing which helps me to cope with it.
So, if there is a storm, it is a bad thing. But at least I have a home in which I can take shelter in the storm. So many people are homeless.
And there are many people who sometimes have houses which do not have foundations. They are mobile houses. So, when a storm comes, mobile houses get swept out sometimes.
So, people who have houses with foundations, the storm is a problem for everyone. But that house is something which is a, is a solution. So, look at the good thing that helps us to deal with the bad thing.
And third is that the bad things are bad, but the bad things can also be for good. That means that when some bad things happen, rather than focussing on the bad thing, why did this happen? Why did this happen? Okay, Krishna must be having some plan. So, let me just wait and watch.
Let me be patient. Let me see how Krishna can bring good out, good even out of this bad thing. With that attitude, rather than focussing on the bad thing and getting negative, we focus on Krishna.
Now, sometimes Krishna’s plan, when the bad thing happens, we may understand that in a few hours, sometimes in a few days, sometimes in a few months, sometimes in a few years, sometimes it may take a lifetime. Because Krishna’s vision goes much further than our vision. And we can have that understanding that Krishna will bring good even out of the bad.
So, with this, with this redirection of our vision, we can prevent the mind’s negativity from coming between us and Krishna. So, this is important that Krishna is not the cause of our distress. He is the cure for our distress.
So, what is the cause of the distress? That is very difficult to find specifically. But if we demand from Krishna, this problem should not come, then the problem has come. What can we do? But if we seek to absorb ourselves in Krishna, then we can get relief and shelter even amidst the problem.
You know, the world is like a hospital. In a hospital, pain is just a fact of the hospital. But the doctor is not causing the pain.
The doctor is healing the pain. So, as long as we think of ourselves as controllers and enjoyers, and then we expect Krishna to help us in our controlling and enjoying, then we’ll be frustrated. Why is God not helping? Everybody likes to serve God.
Is that true? How? Everybody likes to serve God? Yes, even atheists like to serve God. Everybody likes to serve God as an advisor. Why as an advisor? Even atheists who don’t believe in God, they say, if God had existed, he would have made this like this.
He would have made this like this. He would have made this like this. He would have made this organ like this, this part like this, this natural aspect like this.
So, their non-existent God, whenever they get the desire to give advice, their non-existent God pops into existence, gratefully accepts their advice, and then pops back into non-existence. So, actually, we don’t determine Krishna’s job description. He determines ours.
When a patient goes to a doctor, a patient doesn’t tell doctor, doctor, do this, do this, do this, do this. The doctor tells the patient, do this, do this. So, basically, if we understand this foundation of the relationship, Krishna, you are my lord, I am your servant.
This has happened, I don’t know what to do, but please guide me how I can serve you. Please, service attitude, it situates us in reality. In reality means, this bad thing is happening, this bad thing is happening, bad things happen, and our mind makes them much, much worse.
Then whatever it is, the mind feels, oh, this has gone out of control, that has gone out of control, that will also go out of control. But then, whatever goes out of control, the reality is, I am a servant of Krishna. So, this service attitude will bring us back out of the mind’s negative imaginations, back to reality.
Krishna, I am your servant, what can I do right now? And that service attitude will help us harmonise with the overall purpose of existence. Sometimes we don’t like to be, we don’t like to be servants. Now, we all want to be, others to be our servants.
So, now when this happens, feel service attitude is demeaning, service is demeaning. Why should I do service to anyone? Sometimes I feel like that. But actually, service attitude is empowering.
Why? Because service attitude helps us to focus on what is in our control. In every situation in our life, some things are in our control, some things are not in our control. Now, if I define myself as a controller or as a enjoyer, I am a controller of this child, I am a controller of my spouse, I am a controller of my colleagues.
When I define myself as a controller and then I am not able to control, that is when I feel totally disempowered. But when I understand that I am a servant and as a service, yeah, I may guide my children, I may deal with my colleagues, I may deal with people who are working with me, under me, whatever. So, if that doesn’t work out, okay, this is not working, how can I serve now? So, all our roles and all our relationships, we see as means by which we can serve Krishna.
So, if we consider a river that is moving towards the ocean, the river is moving towards the ocean and it has many tributaries. This tributary is going this way, this tributary is going this way, this tributary is going this way and through all the tributaries, through all the branches of the rivers, the river’s water is moving towards the ocean. And now, if all the river’s water is flowing through only one tributary, then if somehow a dam is built over there or some blockage comes and that, then the whole river will stop moving.
But if the river has many tributaries, even if one channel is blocked, the river can move in other ways. So, our consciousness is like that river. Krishna is like the ocean.
If we identify with any particular role or relationship, and if I identify myself as a mother, a husband, a wife, a software engineer, then if somehow that gets disrupted, then I feel completely blocked and paralysed. So, when we identify ourselves as anything other than the servants of Krishna, then our identity depends on things that are not in our control. And that blockage can be devastating.
But even if I identify myself as a servant, okay, this is not working, this can work, this can work. Okay, I can’t serve Krishna in this way, but I can serve him this way, I can serve him this way. So, service attitude, when a storm comes in our life, the storm is creating devastation, but service attitude shifts our focus to the anchor.
Krishna, I am your servant, let me focus on serving you. And this is the last point. When we are down to nothing, Krishna is up to something.
So, Krishna has a plan for us. And we may not understand it right now, but service attitude will help us do our part. And thus, this world is a broken place.
Many things will go wrong in this world. But we can move forward with unbroken faith in this world by the attitude of service. When Prabhupada was asked, what is the best prayer that we can offer to Krishna? Prabhupada said, Krishna, give me the strength to serve you.
If we have that strength to serve, then whatever situation comes in our life, we move forward through it with confidence, with determination. Dependent on Krishna, what is out of my control? Krishna, I leave it to you. But with diligence, I will do that which is in my control.
And in this way, through the service attitude, through whatever situation we face, we can go through it and grow through it. So, I’ll summarise what I spoke today. Then we can have question answers.
So, I spoke about how Krishna and Krishna bhakti can, how we can overcome, how we can overcome the obstacles that come because of our mind in our understanding of Krishna. I started by talking about how we may be practising Krishna bhakti nominally, but we may identify ourselves with our various relationships in the world. When that happens, then still we will get shaken.
So, Krishna bhakti means Krishna becomes our defining identity. That means my relationship, my defining identity, I’m a servant of Krishna. And as a servant of Krishna, I will play my various roles in this world.
And then with this understanding, even if I face rejection or a neglect in any particular relationship, that doesn’t affect me in the sense of my self-identity and self-worth. Because Krishna always loves me. So, to feel unloved is distressing, but to feel unloveable is devastating.
But when our eyes are fixed on Krishna, then we will never feel unloveable. There’s nothing that can ever make Krishna stop loving us. He’s always there in our hearts and he’s there for our well-being.
So, to perceive Krishna’s love for us, I talk about four levels. First is our very existence is dependent on factors that are beyond our control. And they are arranged by something beyond our control.
That higher power, that is ultimately benevolent, that is Krishna. Birds have to search for their grains, but they don’t produce the grains. So, our efforts for our existence as a country, Krishna’s plan is primary.
And to understand Krishna’s love, we have to understand the breadth of our existence. That just as some treatment may cause some physical appearance issues, but internally healing has happened. So, like that at a material level, there will be problems.
But at a spiritual level, at an inner level, Krishna is healing us. Then we have to understand the length of our existence. That we look at the present and plan for the future.
Krishna looks at the future and plans for the present. So, with that understanding, we can be patient. And how Krishna’s plan will work out for us, we, rather than resenting that this bad thing has happened, we focus on tolerating and enduring that situation.
And lastly, we talked about how instead of expecting relief, release from the problem, we focus on relief amidst the problem. Instead of expecting the external atmosphere to get cool, just come into the easy. So, instead of being problem conscious, become Krishna conscious.
And then, how can we do this redirection of consciousness? We can’t be grateful for all situations, but we can be grateful in all situations. That is, first when bad things happen, we look at the things, at the good things that are still good in our life. We look at the good thing that helps us to solve, deal with the bad thing.
And then we wait, we look for how the bad thing will bring some good. And by doing this, we can cultivate aggressive attitude. And for us, our service attitude is what helps us to become free from all the mind’s delusions that when bad things happen, Krishna is not the cause, He is the cure.
But we will perceive as the cure when we harmonise with Him. Just like a patient who needs to harmonise with the doctor and the doctor will give relief. But if the patient demands the doctor to obey, then things are not going to work.
So, when we situate ourselves in the attitude of service that is empowering, because service is something which is always in our control. But any particular role, any particular controlling, any particular relationship, that may not be in our control. So, instead of the storm that has come in our life, we shift our focus to the anchor by asking Krishna, how can I serve you? And whatever happens in our life, through the attitude of service, we can face it and we will eventually discover that when we are down to nothing, we are left only with the service attitude.
And Krishna is up to something. He will raise our consciousness to spiritual level and He will give us realisation of the reality and the glory of the spiritual level of reality by which we can face whatever problems we go through in life and we can go beyond this world to Krishna’s eternal abode. Thank you very much.
Hare Krishna.