​What to do when people exclude us from some social circles because of our bhakti practices?

Answer Podcast

Transcript

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Yeah.
When people become judgmental because of our bhakti practices, and they may exclude us from certain social groups, certain activities, and they don’t even talk to explain what they are doing or to hear what we want to say, what do we do? Yeah, usually all of us, we function based on perceptions. And so, when people hear about Krishna Consciousness, they have their own perceptions of what Krishna Consciousness means. And to some extent it may also be because of some bad experiences they may have had.
Some devotees tend to be quite fanatical. Some devotees, actually many devotees are known to be very aggressive in their preaching. It’s like somebody asks one question, and they will download the whole philosophy on their head.
And then, broadly speaking, I feel that when people become devotees, and some others feel that this person wants to convert me now. And when they have that fear, they want to keep a distance. But actually we would like them to become devotees.
But it is not that that is going to be the only platform for our relationship. If we are professionals, we are colleagues, then we are going to function at that level. So if through our actions we make it clear that we will keep the door open for them if they want to come to Bhakti.
But we are not going to drag them inside. We are not going to convert them. So to a large extent, now in today’s postmodern world, people say that you do your thing, let me do my thing.
That is the attitude. But when they feel that you will try to impose your thing on me, then they become very reserved, very skeptical. Their walls go up.
So I feel that if even if to some extent you are being excluded, if you just function normally, then they will say, okay, this person has become a devotee. But still, you know, it has not changed all that much. Yeah, okay, certain habits have changed, certain things have changed.
But still, you know, professionally still trustworthy, nice person. I can still interact with them. When they see that, then their perception will change.
Then that sort of social exclusion will not happen. Now within that also, within any social group, there are people, relatively speaking, in goodness, relatively speaking, in passion, relatively speaking, in ignorance. Sometimes we just take one habit of people and label them as in ignorance.
For example, some people may be eating meat. So in terms of their diet, they may be in ignorance. But in the rest of their life, in terms of their conduct, in terms of their speech, they may well be in goodness.
So we can’t just reduce a person’s mode to one particular function. With respect to that activity, they are in ignorance. But other activities, they may be in goodness.
So in any social circle, we can try to find out people who are relatively speaking similar to us, maybe a little bit more in goodness, and try to communicate with them. And through that communication, we may be able to build bridges with others also. And as devotees sometimes, unless our professional performance is not being affected, and usually that is not affected because they also want to make sure their team works well.
So if we are professionally performing well, sometimes not being included in some of the social groups may actually work out to our benefit because then we don’t have to spend our time in those things. And then we can spend more time in devotional activities, in devotee circles. The one thing is for sure that we need the sense of belonging to some social circle.
So if we can find that sense of belonging within a devotee social circle, that is very good. And if there are specific situations which we are in, we can consult some devotees who may be in a similar setting and ask how they have dealt with it. But usually it’s just a matter of time.
Initially, people are a little suspicious. But over a period of time, they pick up the phone and say, this is Jayshree Krishna. And then all of a sudden when they see me, they say, Jayshree Krishna, why did I speak Jayshree Krishna on the phone? I think this is probably because of some perception they have that we are going to impose our thing on them.
If we just be normal, that perception will go away. It has happened in the past that devotees have been too hyper aggressive. And people react to that.
just like just like in a say in a place where say the past generation has just exploited the natural resources so much, the next generation that comes, they don’t have any natural resources left. Like that, sometimes the past generation, not generation entirely, but some of the past devotees have alienated a lot of people. Sometimes we have to bear that.
Of course, it’s not there. Sometimes we also act in that way. So, I think this is just a perception problem.
And usually when perception conflicts with reality, initially perception wins. Initially perception wins. If I have a particular opinion, this person is arrogant.
And even that person seems to be behaving humbly, just making a show. That’s what I think like that. But when that reality keeps getting repeated again and again, then the perception is defeated.
So, that’s why that reality and perception conflict happens. We have to persevere in our normal proper behavior. And eventually the perceptions will go away.
Thank you. So, if