When devotees are frustrated with the problems of grihastha life, should they think of the renounced ashramas as the solution?

Answer Highlight:

Changing ashrama is not the solution, gaining ashraya of the supreme ashraya-tattva Krishna is the solution

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
Thank you. Is it a conscious or is it a irresponsible attitude in the sense that it neglects one from facing the responsibilities of life? Answer, we all face problems in life and to think that Grahastha ashram alone has problems and the renounced orders don’t have problems, that is actually another illusion of mortal existence. The renounced order has its own set of problems and especially because the battle is more at the level of the mind, so the problems are more at the level of the mind.
But either way there are problems and actually the solution to problems is not renunciation, it is devotion. Now of course it is true that in the renounced order one may have more time to practice devotional service, more facilities, better circumstances for practicing devotional service, but it is not that bhakti is limited to any set of circumstances or situations. One should not let the negativity about Grahastha ashram blind one to the potency of bhakti.
If one thinks that the problems of Grahastha ashram are so much that one cannot practice bhakti, then one is actually committing an aparat to bhakti devi by imagining that her potency to remove or transcend problems is lesser than the potency of Grahastha ashram to create problems, which is actually wrong. Bhakti is apratihata, it is uninterrupted, unmotivated. So apratihata is uninterrupted, that means no, it is not that we are in a particular situation, bhakti will be interrupted.
No, now the specific forms in which we practice bhakti will vary according to the ashram that we are in, but that is fine. So we may not be able to come to the temple for so many hours, we may not be able to practice bhakti for so many hours, but that is alright. What we should focus on is the principle of essentially trying to offer our heart to Krishna with sincerity and with as much intensity as possible.
So, in general, if we face problems in life, we should know that it is not changing ashram that is the solution, it is gaining ashraya of the supreme ashraya tattva, that is the solution. So, the supreme ashraya is the ashraya of Krishna and the Bhagavatam talks about many tattvas and ultimately it concludes in the tattva of Krishna, who is the supreme shelter for everything and everyone. So it is his ashram that we should seek for and yes, instead of thinking of oneself necessarily changing one’s ashram or announcing everything, what one should focus on is on absorbing oneself in Krishna in every opportunity that one gets.
So, So Krishna says in the 18th chapter of the Bhagavad Gita that when he is talking about renunciation in the three modes, that just as bodily pleasure is the characteristic of the mode of passion, one wants more and more sense of gratification in the mode of passion. Similarly, the opposite of bodily pleasure, that is bodily pain. So, the avoidance of bodily pain is primary characteristic of the mode of passion and renunciation that is motivated by this desire, Oh, this is too troublesome for my body.
Now, for the body also means for the mind and therefore I want to give it up. Oh, this causes trouble, this causes misery, therefore I want to give it up. So, Krishna says over there, that is actually tyaga in the mode of passion and this will not lead to the phala of tyaga.
Now, what is interesting that when people think I will renounce the world, often renunciation itself made the goal. But renunciation is not the goal. Krishna has told earlier also in the third chapter of that, that it is not just by renunciation that one attains perfection.
karmāṇāṁ nārambhāṁ nishkaraṇam puruṣhoṣṭhute ca saññāsanādeva siddhiṁ samadhigacchati saññāsanādeva It is not just sannyāsa alone that one attains siddhi, that one attains perfection. So, therefore what one needs to do is to actually develop higher wisdom, higher realization and higher devotion and that comes by the practice of bhakti yoga. So, especially one should not be discouraging or threatening one’s dependence by the specters of renunciation just to get them to come into line.
It is not that because my spouse or my children are troubling me, therefore I will renounce the world. No, that sort of foundation is wrong. And that sort of renunciation will be renunciation in the mode of passion and that sort of renunciation in the mode of passion will be undesirable, will not lead to many tyāga phalams away.
So, the phala of tyāga is actually jñāna and ultimately bhakti. So, that will come not just by frustration, that comes by purification which comes by actually being responsible service. So, of course if one has come to the age of ānāprastha and has executed one’s responsibilities then renouncing the world is a different issue.
That one can do in consultation with one’s spiritual guides. But in general, rather than thinking of changing one’s āśram or accepting the renounced order as the release from all problems, one should think of absorption in Krishna as the solution to all problems. And that absorption one can try to do as much as possible whenever one has opportunity.
So, even in gṛhastha āśram, whenever we have the opportunity to go to the temple, whenever we have the opportunity to study śāstra, to associate with devotees, if we absorb ourselves wholeheartedly in that, then through that Krishna will see our sincerity and Krishna will reciprocate that sincerity by giving us more and more opportunity in future. And that is how we will be able to move forward in our spiritual life and we will be able to make tangible spiritual advancement. So, rather than focusing on renouncing the world as a solution to problems, we should actually focus on absorbing ourselves in Krishna and gaining strength and thereby executing the responsibility that we have.
And by that we will grow in our spiritual life. And certainly we should not make our relatives and our dependents feel that they are unwanted, they are burdensome. There has to be a bond of affection between them because it is through them that we are doing our service.
And by doing our service, we are taking them closer and closer to Krishna. So that way, even through the struggles and the problems of grasta life, we are going closer to Krishna. And we should know that it is not that the renounced order is free from struggles and problems.
There are problems there also. And if one renounces grasta ashram because it is filled with problems and one comes to renounced order and one finds that in the renounced order there are problems, then what will one do at that time? There is no other ashram which one can run away to afterwards. So we should not be running away from our problems.
We should be running towards Krishna. And running towards Krishna does not require necessarily to run towards a particular ashram because grasta ashram is also an ashram. And in this ashram also one can take shelter of Krishna.
So often we try to find quick fix solutions. So just as people who are in the lower mode, they try to find, there are a lot of problems, just find a quick fix solution by drinking and forget everything else. Or turning on the television and forget everything else.
So those who are not devotees but not a very deep understanding of devotion, they try to find another quick fix solution by changing one’s position, material position, materially from one ashram to another ashram. That is not the solution. The solution is to get ashraya of Krishna.
And that ashraya we can get by practicing bhakti intensely whatever situation we are in. Thank you. Question.