When love is not real, how can it be the ultimate reality?

Answer Podcast

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
simply coming off as love so we sometimes say that love is not real and we can say that the spiritual love or unbounded love is real but in this world love often misleads people and makes them just go on a chase here and there so how much does it apply to materialistic love love is the driving force of the soul, of consciousness now depending on how it is driven or where it is driven it can express itself through constructive ways or through destructive ways we have also, we have been given a we have a heart but we also have a head head that means we have an emotional faculty we have a rational faculty so there is a difference between being in love and loving when people say being in love they often use the word fall in love now why do we use the word fall in love because falling is an involuntary action when I fall, nobody intends to fall down nobody intends to fall down, so what happens is that at a particular age at a particular time we are biologically and emotionally vulnerable to infatuation it’s like at certain places the floor may be slippery there we tend to slip at that time so in youth we are both biologically and emotionally vulnerable to mistaking infatuation to be love at the time when we get overwhelmingly attracted to some person and it’s not that what we experience at that time is not real what we two people who claim to be in love or feel that they are in love what they experience is very intense they are not making it up and they are experiencing it but the problem is they think that this experience will be an enduring experience but it doesn’t last for long why is that? it’s because love at that level or at that time is something which is more biologically or psychologically triggered rather than intentionally chosen sometimes there may be something called love at first sight two people see each other and they feel there is other physical characteristics or character traits just feel attracted but the relationship will be sustained not by what happens at first sight it will be what happens after many sights and for that at one particular point they have to choose to move from being in love to choosing to love love has to rise from being an emotion we experience to an intention we cultivate if that doesn’t happen then it will not sustain so when we stay in that zone of equating love with emotion alone initially when there is infatuation we see the good side of the person and we are more or less blind to the bad side not necessarily bad side the limitations of the person but later on when that infatuation that biological, psychological stimulation which makes us attracted to that person that slowly starts decreasing then we start seeing the other side of the person also then we may just keep obsessing on that side and then to the extent of the attraction to that extent there will be aversion afterwards same two people who say that initially they fight with the world and they say I can’t live without you after few years they say I can’t live with you because it was all at the level of emotion so what I would say not that love is false, just taking our decisions based on emotions alone is misleading we are not meant to wish away our emotions or to deny our emotions but there are emotions and there are intentions and there is in between there is intelligence so if I am having some emotions right now, that’s ok but I have to use my intelligence to move from the level of emotions to the level of intentions when I do that that’s when the relationship will be sustained so with respect to there being we can’t trust our emotions entirely so when what we call as love, love in double code it becomes an enemy when it is driven primarily by emotions and not just by emotions but we trust those emotions entirely but if we go into a relationship with this understanding that love is an intention and we try to cultivate that, I know this person has his limitations but then these are the good points to say that love is an intention means to consciously look at the good in the person and not focus only on the bad in the person that’s when the relationship will be sustained so there are two conceptions of relationships of bounded love and unbounded love one we could say is bounded love can become an obstacle to the unbounded love that is one conception the other is the bounded love can become an aid to the unbounded love that depends on what is the nature of the relationship so if I think if I develop a loving relationship with someone and I think that that person is all that I need and in that in that case what are we doing we are making that person a substitute for the infinite and no one can ever be a substitute for the supreme so when we do that no matter how good that person will be they will not be able to live up to our expectations and we substitute but if we see so if we consider this relationship alone is going to be enough then that becomes an obstacle to our progress towards the unbounded love the love for the infinite but if we see that ok this person is giving me some love and I also want to offer some love in it we see this as a pointer to the infinite love pointer to the infinite love means that ok I am experiencing some love in this relationship but this love is ultimately a way in which the infinite is expressing love the most intimate acts of love is when a mother breast feeds her baby from her own body she is offering milk to the baby that’s a very intimate act of love at the same time if you think more deeply does the mother do anything special to produce the milk at that time no the same God who sent a child through her womb into the world also arranged for breast for milk in her breast so what we see we see the mother’s love for the child and we also see God’s love for the child in the mother’s love for the child that is the mood of this well known prayer you are the mother you are the father you are the brother you are the friend you are wealth you are knowledge you oh lord are everything what this means is that yes we do get love from our mother love from our father love from various sources and we acknowledge that love but we don’t see that love as an independent love alone we see that as a way in which the supreme, the lord is expressing his love to us so when this vision is there then even the bounded love can become a way to the unbounded love you had something to say yeah