​When we perceive that we are different from our thoughts, how do we infer who we really are?

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Transcript

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So in our spiritual growth we distance ourselves from our body and mind, understanding that we are not these. And then we try to connect with Krishna with devotional thoughts.
But even these devotional thoughts, you can see that they are separate from us and they are coming to us from an outside source. So when you don’t identify then you get the question, what exactly is my identity? Who am I? Yeah, that’s a good question. It requires introspection to get this question also.
So there is the screen of consciousness or the screen for consciousness and there is the content of consciousness. So for example, if I close my eyes and I start thinking, okay, the hall where I take classes, it has one door from here, another door from here, and there is a chair over here and a mic in front of that. So I can visualize it.
Now when I’m visualizing this, I can see some sort of screen on which I see all these things. So now the screen of consciousness in an approximate sense, you can say that is the mind. Now when I am visualizing it, what I am doing is that I am projecting my energy of consciousness on that in a particular way.
So what I have seen earlier and what I remember, I am trying to recollect and project. So now in normal perception, that screen of consciousness becomes like a window. So if I am looking at the computer, right now I am seeing what is there on the computer.
But if you imagine that computer screen changes into a window, then I will see what is beyond it. So in our normal communication, the screen of consciousness acts like a window by which we see the outer world. But in this also sometimes the mind is uncontrolled.
So while acting like a window, suddenly it can become like a screen and start showing something else. But the point is that the screen of consciousness is different from us. Now there is the content of consciousness.
So just like on a computer screen, I can see a movie, I can see an audiophile’s wave, I can see text, all that I can see. So like that on the screen we can see various things. Now the content of consciousness at our sadhaka stage, what we see is primarily what is there on the screen.
That means at no stage can we perceive the source of consciousness. So there is the screen on which consciousness is depicted, there is the content of consciousness, what is depicted over there on that screen and there is a source of consciousness from where this consciousness is coming. So now the content of consciousness results from the combination of the source of consciousness coming from within and the sensory impressions coming from without.
Or it can be mental recollection also, which is coming from the mind itself. But either way, that to be experienced, it requires a source of consciousness sending out the consciousness over there. So when the energy coming out of the source of consciousness interacts with some sensory impressions, then we get what is called as the content of consciousness.
So the content of consciousness is separate from us and we can to some extent observe it. I can observe what am I thinking right now. So in the Govinda Bhashya Vedanta Sutra commentary by Spaldeva Udabhushan and in general in Vedanta philosophy, there is the concept of Chit and Chitta.
Sat, Chit, Ananda. That Chit is the faculty of consciousness of the soul and that is the integral feature of the soul. Chitta is the embodied consciousness.
Chitta is the consciousness that is projected. So for example, from here I am a separate person and I have a consciousness but I am completely absorbed in the computer screen. Maybe watching a movie here or reading a book here or whatever.
So the Chitta is different from Chit in the sense that Chitta is the Chit projected in a particular area. That is called as Kshetra. So Kshetrajna is the soul who knows the Kshetra.
Kshetrajna, the Jna part of the Kshetrajna refers to the Chit. What does the Kshetra know? What does the Kshetrajna know? The Kshetrajna knows the consciousness as it is projected in matter. And that is why in the analysis of Sankhya that Krishna does in 13th chapter, 6th and 7th verses, when he talks about 13th, he says, mahabhutanya ahankaro buddhiravyakta mevache indriyanidasaikam cha pancha chendriya govachara ichcha dvesha sukham dukkham sanghatas chetana dhruti etad kshetram samasena savikaram udharutam So he characterizes Chetana, Chetana is consciousness as etad kshetram samasena savikaram udharutam This is Kshetra.
So what is told in the 6th verse, the elements that he lists out, they are the Kshetra and ichcha dvesha sukham dukkham sanghatas chetana dhruti Chetana and all this are the part of Kshetravikara, the transformations of consciousness. So at our stage, all that we can ever perceive is Chitta. We can never perceive Chitta.
But what we can know is from the Chitta that there is a source of consciousness. Without a source of consciousness, there will be no experience of whatever is being played on the screen of consciousness. So there will just be sensations, but there will be no experience.
Just like if there is a beautiful natural scenery being depicted on my computer. That will be depicted, but unless there is a source of consciousness, there will be no experience of the beauty of that beautiful scene. There will be some color patterns which are just existing on the screen.
So the fact is that when we observe the content of consciousness, we experience some things. Pleasure, pain, surprise, anger, fear, irritation, whatever. So that indicates that apart from the content of consciousness, apart from the screen of consciousness, there is the source from which consciousness is coming and to which conscious perception is going, causing certain reactions.
So in that sense, that’s why we say, आश्चरेव पश्यति कश्चिदेनम् I say the soul is astonishing. Astonishing means that it is not so easy to understand. All that we can know about the soul right now is either through scripture or through inference.
Even no matter how much introspection we do, we cannot by introspection really see the soul. We can only infer its existence through introspection. And as our consciousness becomes more and more detached from matter, then our consciousness becomes detachable from its embodied state.
And then with self-reflection, we can perceive ourselves as Atma. Where is that in Samadhi verses? यत्रोपरमतेचित्तं विरुद्धं योगसेवय यत्रचैवात्मनात्मानं पश्यनात्मनितुष्यति So I talked about this screen of consciousness acting as a window or it acting as like a monitor where something is displayed. But the screen of consciousness, which can act as a window, which can act as a monitor, it can also act as a mirror.
And when it acts as a mirror, यत्रचैवात्मनात्मानं पश्यनात्मनितुष्यति So at that time, when it perceives like that, पश्यनात्मनितुष्यति So at that time, when our consciousness is उपरमतेचित्तं, when there is no attachment to the material phenomena, which are there in the material world, then the consciousness is not entangled over there. Then we can use the mind, currently we use the mind as a channel for rooting our consciousness towards the material world and enjoying the material world. But at that time we can use the mind as a mirror for beholding ourselves.
And thus we can actually perceive ourselves as souls. पश्यनात्मनितुष्यति By such perception, आत्मनितुष्यति, we become delighted in the self. So that will take a long time.
In fact that is said to be the stage of समाधि, उपरमतेचित्तं, and it may not happen immediately. But at least by inference we can understand that my identity is distinct from the screen of consciousness, it is distinct from the content of consciousness. My identity is at the source of consciousness.
And through scripture I can know it is the आत्मा. And by following the scripture process, gradually coming to the stage of समाधि, we will perceive it eventually.