Why did Rama not stand by Sita when she was defamed?

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Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
Regarding the second point about did Ram not stand by Sita through thick and thin, see, later on, Ram sending Sita to the forest is one of the most difficult aspects of the Ramayana to understand. So, I will start with one important point. Sometimes people say, you know, Ram was just concerned about his reputation.
And because of that reputation, people were criticizing that Sita was unchaste, that is why he abandoned her. But, you know, that was not the only consideration. If you go in Krishna Leela, that same Lord who has come as Ram, he comes as Krishna.
And there is a story of a demon named Bhaumasur or Narakasur. He had actually abducted, he had actually defeated many kings and he abducted their princesses. Bhaumasur? Yeah, Bhaumasur.
So, he had actually abducted 16,000 princesses like this. And he had imprisoned them. And when Krishna came and killed, defeated this Bhaumasur and killed him, and he released those princesses.
And at that time, those princesses, he said, what will we do now? Now that we have been abducted by him, although he had not violated them, his plan was he was going to do a sacrifice to Pashupatinath. He was going to kill the kings and sacrifice. And then he was going to consummate his relationship with those princesses.
So, they had not been violated that way. But still, in the eyes of society, they had been abducted. He said, who will accept us now? What will we do with these people? And then Krishna asked, what do you want? He said, you accept us.
And Krishna accepted all. That’s how Krishna had 16,108 queens. In today’s language, if you want to say, it was a female rehabilitation program.
All those women, he restored them not just to respectability, but to glory. And at that time, for a king to have many queens was common. So, the point is, if Krishna, if he had been concerned about reputation, he said, you know, your reputation is spoiled.
I will not marry you. So, Krishna was not simply reputation driven. You see the contrast here.
Krishna did not have any relationship with them. He developed a relationship even when their reputation was scarred. Then why would that same lord, just because of a reputation’s kick, give up a relationship with someone with whom he was already married? And not only married, for her he had fought a big war and got her back.
So, it is not simply reputation. See, the Ramayana has a particular spirit. And the spirit is of right beyond right.
Right beyond right means, in terms of facts, this may be right and this may be wrong. But think of some higher principle. So, for example, right from the beginning itself, when Ram is exiled to the forest, Lakshmana is furious.
And Lakshmana says, you should fight for your rights. You have done nothing wrong. Why should you be banished like that? Lakshmana is furious.
And Lakshmana is so angry, he says, he is so angry with Dashratha that he does not even refer to Dashratha as his father. He says, the king has become blinded by lust for his youngest queen. And because of that, he has lost his moral sense.
And therefore, oh Ram, you should overthrow the king and take the kingdom. So now, at that time, what does Ram say? Ram does not, if you see from the point of view simply of right and wrong, you know, it is a, what is it? For Ram to go to the forest in exile for no fault of his, it is not right, it is wrong. But the mood of the Ramayana is the mood of sacrifice.
So Ram says that for the sake, for the sake of my father’s words, I will sacrifice my throne today. Similarly, Sita, she is not obliged to go. In fact, Ram actively discourages her from going.
But still, she insists on going. Then Lakshmana, Lakshmana does not have to go. He has no duty.
In fact, Ram tells him that, no, you should stay here and you should take care of my mother and your mother. Lakshmana says, no, I won’t be with you. So Lakshmana has sacrificed.
Then Lakshmana is going. His wife Urmila says, I also want to come with you. He says, no, if you come with me, then I will have to take care of you.
But I am there to serve her. He says, you stay here. He has two roles.
I am a husband. No, I am a younger brother and I am also a son. So he says, if everybody in my family had been here, I would have served my elder brother and I would have served my parents also.
But I cannot do that. So he says, you are my Ardhangini, you are my wife. So on behalf of me, you take care of my mother.
You take care of my mother and I will serve my brother. So then she does that. She is separated from her husband for 14 years and they are just newly married.
So she is separated from her husband also for 14 years. So the whole ethos of the Ramayan is an ethos of sacrifice. And that same ethos of sacrifice is continued on in the exile of Sita.
Now, first of all, to use the word exile is extremely harsh. Although it is used, it is not exactly the same kind of exile that Ram went to. See, when Ram went to exile, it is into the forest, into the jungle among the wild animals.
But when Sita was sent out of the palace, she was still in Ram’s kingdom only. Lakshman took her near Valmiki’s ashram and he told her, you can go and stay in Valmiki’s ashram. And in Valmiki’s ashram, there were many elderly ladies also.
They treated her like their own daughter and she was well taken care of. She didn’t have royal comforts over there. But she was well taken care of.
And certainly, it was devastating for Sita. But if we focus on that mood of sacrifice, then it is not just Sita who sacrificed. It is Ram also who sacrificed.
Ram did not just ditch his wife so that he could marry some other woman. You know, Ram was a king and he could have told. Actually, the priest told him, if you have to perform yajnas, then you have to have a queen with you.
So, they told him, either you get Sita back or you remarry. Now, they knew Ram would not remarry. So, they thought he will get Sita back.
But then he said, I cannot get Sita back. So, you have to remarry. I cannot remarry.
So, what did he do? He got a effigy of Sita married and that effigy would be next to him. So, in a sense, although Ram was in the kingdom, still he wants to sacrifice. It is not that he abandoned her and he was enjoying.
The whole mood of the Ramayana is a mood of sacrifice. Sacrifice for some higher principles, sacrifice for some higher cause. So, it is actually, it is an oversimplification to the point of distortion to say that Ram did not stand by Sita’s side.
See, sometimes in our life, we face different roles. Say, we face a conflict between our different roles. Say, for example, there is a father who is a doctor and say his daughter’s birthday is today.
It is a birthday party. And at that time from the hospital, emergency call comes. What should you do at that time? He has his duty as his father.
He has to be there. Birthday is important occasion for his daughter. But then the patient may die in the hospital.
Sometimes two roles pull us in different directions. And then what to do, it becomes difficult to decide. So, that is what happened to Ram at that time.
Now, he had his role as a husband. As a husband, he has to protect his wife. He has to be there with her through thick and thin.
But Ram is not just a husband. Ram is also a king. And as a king, he has to set an example of detachment.
Because the king has the opportunity for the maximum enjoyment. He has maximum facilities for enjoyment. And if the king is not, if the king is attached, then everybody will become attached.
So, king has to set an example of detachment. And that detachment means, even the nearest one is even perceived as as having some defect, as having flawed, then his continuing with her would be seen as his attachment. So, he had to choose between his duty as a king and his duty as a husband.
So, what did he do? He, for the whole idea of the Ramayana is, for the higher cause, give up something which may be important for you. That is the moon. Lakshman could have said, you know, I am fine really.
I have my life. I cannot give it up all for the sake of Ram. But he gave it up.
Same way, what Ram did was, he did not reject Sita per se, but he sent Sita away from the palace. And because she was still in his kingdom, Valmiki’s ashram was in his kingdom. So, she was still indirectly in his protection.
So, he reconciled the conflicting pulls of his two duties as a king and as a husband by sending Sita away. But it is not that he just abandoned her when the going got tough. Actually, if it was abandonment, then he could have switched with someone else.
He did not do that. So, we have to actually, the Ramayana is teaching a very deep lesson, a lesson of sacrifice for a higher cause. Does this answer your question?