Why do we feel insecurity?

Answer Podcast

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
Thank you. Why do we feel insecurity in life? Because life is insecure.
Yeah, it’s just, you see, fear or insecurity is not a bad thing. Fear is what stops us from doing foolish things. If say a small child is peering down from a hundred level, hundred story building and a child feels no fear and the parents will feel great fear.
What’s wrong with you? Isn’t it? So fear or insecurity itself is not a bad thing. Fear can warn us about danger and protect us from danger. However, insecurity is not just the same as fear.
Fear is useful when it keeps us cautious with respect to a particular danger. But when that fear becomes disconnected from any specific danger, it becomes diffused. That’s when it becomes insecurity.
So fear when it is associated with a specific danger, it is constructive, it is protective. But when it is disconnected, then it’s general fear. Oh, what if I get cancer? What if I lose my job? What if this happens? What if that happens? What if that happens? So then when it is diffused from, disconnected from any specific stimulus, then it causes insecurity.
So now, if you want to consider what all things can go wrong, well, anything can go wrong in life. Right now we are sitting, the roof can cave in on us and we all can be crushed and we can die. But there is a difference between probability and possibility.
Anything is possible. But how probable is it? Right now, this phone in front of me, that might blow up and burn my face. Well, it’s possible, but it’s not probable.
So we could, we can, when our mind starts coming up with fears, it’s basically what happens is, it’s this big sense of maybe possible danger coming up. So then we try to make it more concrete. Analyze, is this a possibility or is this a probability? What is the probability of this? Sometimes things which are improbable also happen.
Yeah, that happens. But then the improbable, it’s not just a bad thing that happens. And improbable good things also happen for us.
If most of you will probably be around 20, 25, 30, something like that. It’s a few more, few less. But there are millions of people who die before they come to the age of 20.
So if we are alive, that means there is more right than wrong in our lives. So if you want to go into probability of all that may go wrong, well, let’s look at the probability of what has gone right in our lives. So insecurity, it is caused by the fear divorced from any specific source of fear.
So then what do we do? We try to link that fear to a specific source and then address that source. So, OK, what is making me feel insecure? Don’t blame yourself. Why am I so insecure? No, this, OK, maybe, OK, this is what is making me insecure.
And then you can apply this fear acronym, what I said. Focus, engage, arise and release. But there’s no need.
We all have particular kinds of minds. And some minds may be more prone to fear than others. So there’s no need to feel guilty about it.
Because that’s the way our mind is, we do work with it. That means, let’s say, some people, they feel much more, they are more vulnerable to cold than others. So if somebody says, I’m feeling cold and somebody else says, don’t feel cold.
What do you mean don’t feel cold? I’m feeling cold. That’s involuntary. But if somebody says, because I’m feeling cold, I’ll not get out of my comforter itself.
I’ll not go out for work. I’ll not do anything. No.
You put on some warm clothes. You have particular need that you have to take care of. And then you work.
So similarly, we don’t have to deny our fear. So just as when it’s at the level of the body, we understand it easily. But the body is one level of reality.
The mind is another level of reality. So just as some people are more vulnerable to cold at the level of the body, some people are maybe more vulnerable to fear at the level of the mind. Just accept this is the way my mind is.
That doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to let that fear control you. Some people may feel more fear. Some people may feel less fear.
So just as people who feel more cold need more warm clothes. So people who have more fear, they may need a little more planning, a little more organization. But you cannot get caught in perpetual planning because you can’t plan all possible things that may go wrong.
We may need to do a little more planning. So learn to accept this is the way my mind is. And then accept and persist.
Not accept and give up. Accept and persist. Yeah, I’ll feel fear.
But let’s move on. And say for many people, public speaking is a great fear. I had talked with many public speakers and I’ve been speaking for 20-25 years.
There are times when even now I do feel sometimes unnerved when I have to speak, especially in a big gathering or important gathering. But then once I get into that act, I push myself a little bit, get into it and it goes away. So actually for us, fear is just natural.
Some people have too much stage fright. Some people have less stage fright. That’s OK.
But I know there are speakers who are very good speakers and they still have stage fright. But then what they do is they prepare notes. Some people who don’t have that much stage fright, their thoughts will be organized.
I can speak based on my thoughts. But somebody else, sometimes when the stage fright overcomes them, they might just read for a few minutes. You read and OK, thoughts get organized and then again start speaking.
So if you need more preparation, don’t feel bad about that. If you need more organization, don’t feel bad about that. Just accept yourself and work with yourself.
OK. Thank you. So thank you very much for your attention and participation.