Why does Uddhava say that remembering Krishna’s pastimes causes him distress?
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Normally, we say that remembrance of Krishna gives us relief from all kinds of distress. But in the 3rd Canto, 2nd chapter, Uddhava says that remembering Krishna’s pastimes causes him distress. So, how do we understand this? Actually, if you look at what he is saying in 3rd Canto, he says that, when I think about how Krishna, although he is a supreme being, he lived incognito.
He lived as a cowherd in Vrindavan. How he had to sleek away at night on the back of a carriage by Vasudev. And how he had to, he basically, Krishna, he says, Krishna did not act in a way that would seem to be reflective of his Godhood.
So, then he later on, he came back to them, he apologized that he had not, he apologized to his parents that I had not served you. So, this is basically the material level of reality, the spiritual level of reality. And as long as our consciousness is in the material level of reality, there is essentially distress.
There may be some pleasure, some pain, but overall, there is a lot of suffering in the material level of reality. Now, when we say the spiritual level of reality, there are a variety of emotions. So, now among those emotions, there may seem to be misery also.
But the difference is that material emotions or emotions disconnected from Krishna are basically like poison. Some of, so material pleasure is like sweet poison and material pain is like bitter poison, but essentially poison. And emotions in relationship with Krishna, they are like nectar.
So, when there is joy, that is like sweet nectar. And that which is distress because of separation from Krishna or whatever, that is like, say, that is, say, bitter nectar. Now, bitter nectar itself seems like an odd word, but what is that? Chaitanya Chaitanya Ramakrishna says, hot sugarcane juice.
So, he says that it’s so delicious that you can’t stop drinking, but it’s so hard that you can’t tolerate. So, separation from Krishna or the remembrance, recollection of Krishna itself is joyful. It’s like nectar.
But within that there is a panorama of emotions. So, it’s not that everybody in the spiritual world is always constantly laughing. They absorb in Krishna and that is their ecstasy.
But in the absorption in Krishna, there are varieties of emotions. There can be anger, there can be agitation, there can be fear, there can be terror. Like we have 7 secondary rasas.
So, bhaya, vibhatsa, all those are there. So, those are basically more ways in which the remembrance of Krishna becomes more and more intensified. That’s the point.
So, here when Vidhava is remembering Krishna, he is thinking that, oh, Krishna is God. But he has to act in such ways. So, for example, if we go to a beautiful temple and we see that actually the deity, nobody is caring for the deity, we feel bad.
Oh, nobody is caring for the deity. That is not that there is any problem with the deities. Krishna is self-satisfied.
But we as devotees feel emotion that why is the deity not being adequately glorified. So, like that when he sees Krishna is not accorded the glory that is due to him as God, then that seeing that Krishna has to act like an ordinary person or has to sneak away like a fugitive, that causes distress. So, the point is remembrance of Krishna transfers our emotions to a higher level of reality and that transfer to a higher level of reality is itself ecstasy.
That itself is the guarantee of liberation. And within that higher level of reality there is a panorama of emotions.