Why psychological distress amidst technological progress – 3 reasons

[Congregation program at Cincinnati, USA]

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Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
Hare Krishna. So I thank all of you for coming today. Sorry we got caught in the traffic and got late.
So I’ll speak about how in today’s world there is so much technological progress but still there is so much psychological distress. So why there is psychological distress amidst technological progress? I got my first inkling, first understanding that something might be wrong in the way life is progressing, we are progressing. When I was studying my engineering about three decades ago, at that time one of the professors, he was a very intelligent professor and I developed a quite a good rapport with him.
One day we came to college, we told the college is off today because we are mourning. Mourning for what? He said that professor had committed suicide. Normally we have heard about students committing suicide but professor committing suicide was quite shocking.
Then we tried to find out what had happened and then he had some personal issues, he had some frustrations in his life. I just couldn’t digest why would somebody need to commit suicide just because of frustration. There can be frustration of different degrees but what would bring a person to the verge of, not to the verge of, actually crossing the verge of ending one’s own life.
So on one side he was very good at technology and he was one of the teachers who was helping others grow, become good in technology and then as I started exploring spirituality more and more, I started studying contemporary culture, I found that this is a widespread phenomenon. I was just a few months ago in IIT, IIT Kharagpur in India and there a major problem, the HOD of a, the former HOD who is now a emeritus faculty, he had come to meet me over there and he was working on some, creating some spiritual values for students so that they can cope with frustration and he said that IITs, they have regular tragic phenomena of students committing suicides. These are the brightest students in their, in the country of India and yet they are ending their lives.
In one of the IITs, they found that the students were committing suicide in one typical way because they would hang themselves to the fan and then they would use a stick to turn on the fan and then the fan would run round and round and they would strangle themselves. So the IIT management decided that this suicide is a terrible menace and we have to stop it and what do we do to stop it? They said remove all the fans from the call hostels and replace them with air conditioners. Now, the fans are not causing people to commit suicide, the fans are simply the instruments with which people are committing suicide.
So of course, you could say some measure is better than no measure but the problem runs much deeper. The World Health Organization says that one out, one million people commit suicide every year. This figure one million means one suicide every 40 seconds.
That means since the time we started this talk, five people have already committed suicide. This figure is more than the number of people who are killed in murders, wars and crimes combined together. Nowadays in America there’s so much concern about mad gunmen going about especially in schools and killing innocent people, innocent children especially, innocent kids.
That’s a very valid concern. At the same time if we consider far more than the number of people who are killed by such gunmen, actually there are people who are killing themselves. And even these gunmen who are killing others, they are also mentally disturbed people.
So what is, and suicide is just one most extreme example but there are millions of people who suffer from depression, who suffer from anxiety, who suffer from mental health problems. And paradoxically sociologists who have observed this phenomena, they call it especially the anxiety epidemic. And this anxiety epidemic is paradoxical because it afflicts the first world countries more than the third world countries.
Normally when there is uncertainty, anxiety results. If I have to catch a flight, if I can’t, I’m not sure whether I’ll reach in time or not. I feel worried.
So the greater the uncertainty, the greater should be the anxiety. Now in many ways in the third world, the uncertainty is much more than the first world. In many parts of the third world, if you turn on a tap, there is no guarantee water will come.
You turn on a switch, there is no guarantee power will come. But such uncertainty is not there in the first world. And yet there is anxiety.
So why is it that despite technological progress, why is the anxiety increasing? Not only that, many times it is found that when people emigrate from the third world to the first world, their anxiety levels also go up instead of going down. So the Bhagavad Gita states that broadly speaking, there are three forces which drive our mind mad, which agitate our mind. So Krishna says in the Bhagavad Gita in 4.10, वीतरागभयक्रोधमन्मयामामुपाशुतः वहवो घ्यानतपसापूतामध्भावमागतः So raga, bhaya and krodha.
Raga is attachment, desire, craving. I want this, I want it, I want it. Bhaya, fear.
What if I lose this? What if this goes wrong? What if that happens? And krodha, anger. So actually anger, when it is directed towards the world, it leads to violence. Anger directed towards oneself leads to depression.
When people become depressed, what is exactly happening? They feel, you know, I wanted to do this but I couldn’t do this. This went wrong in my life, that went wrong in my life. This I made a mistake over there.
This happened like that, this happened like that. And actually their mind is beating them up. This went wrong, this went wrong, this went wrong, that went wrong.
And in that way, the mind is making them miserable. So depression is actually violence directed towards oneself. And the ultimate act of violence directed towards oneself is suicide.
And of course bhaya, fear, is related to anxiety. So two major mental health problems in today’s world which are anxiety and depression, they are correlated with bhaya and krodha. So what exactly happens because of which our mind seems to be more agitated than ever before? There are many reasons but let’s look at these three ways of analyzing.
Raga, bhaya and krodha. In general, if we observe our own disposition, the first thing that activates our mind, that stimulates our consciousness is desire. We may be sitting peacefully and then we think, maybe I should eat something or we see somebody eating something, I want to eat it.
So desire is what stimulates us and the greater the desire, the greater the stimulation or it can become an agitation. So say imagine there are two people whose home is here, office is here. In between there is a bar.
Now when both of them pass by the bar, suppose one of them is alcoholic and the other is a sober person. The sober person may not even notice the bar, just walk along to the office, do their work. But the alcoholic, as soon as they start passing by the bar, I want to drink.
No, I should not drink. No, I should drink. I don’t want to drink.
So this whole agitation starts going on in their mind. The British author, he said that giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I have done it over a hundred times.
So I have given it up a hundred times but it has not given me up. It keeps coming back. So what happens is when we become attached to something, then it starts pulling us.
The Bhagavad Gita Krishna says in the 16th chapter 11th verse, आशा पाश शतैर बद्धाः काम क्रोध परायण हा इहन्ते काम भोगार्थम अन्यायेन आर्थ संचयान So आशा पाश शतैर बद्धाः. आशा पाश refers to the noose of desire which drags us here, there and everywhere. So desire becomes like a shackle.
Most people are proud of their freedom. We are proud to live in a free country. And we will fight for our freedom.
So physically most people are free but psychologically many people are bound. Bound by their desires and those desires agitate them. Now desires themselves are not a bad thing.
But it is being controlled by a desire that is a bad thing. If we choose our desires and we choose healthy desires and pursue them, they help us to grow. But when some desire becomes unhealthy, it starts controlling us.
Then it starts dominating our life. Growth is a natural part of life. Many of you have small children here.
Children grow every month, every year. We all have also grown from childhood to the age we are. So the body naturally grows.
Growing is a natural function of the body. Similarly desiring is a natural condition of the living being. And desiring means we desire to improve our situation, we desire to increase our happiness, we desire to make things better, make our life better.
That is natural. But sometimes in the body one cell or one set of cells starts growing disproportionately. And such growth is called tumor.
And the tumor can become cancerous. It can be malignant. And when cancer occurs, actually it’s growth only that is happening.
And growth normally is healthy. But in this case, this growth because it is disproportionate, it becomes destructive. Similarly to desire is natural.
But when any desire becomes overpowering, it becomes disproportionate. Then it becomes destructive. Just like for an alcoholic.
Alcoholism consumes their mind. It just prevents them from spending their money wisely, spending their time wisely, taking responsible decisions about when to drive, when not to drive, how to deal with people. And it wrecks their life.
So attachment, when it becomes disproportionate, when it becomes excessive, it can become destructive. And even if it doesn’t become physically destructive, even if a person drinks but doesn’t do anything destructive, still it agitates the mind. Some people say drink, but don’t become drunk.
That’s like saying, go to the edge of a cliff, look down the cliff, but don’t fall down. Well, why go to the edge of the cliff in the first place? If you go to the edge of the cliff and you slip, you’ll fall down. If you go to the edge of the cliff and sudden gust of wind comes, you’ll fall down.
So the agitation of the mind is an inevitable result when the desire or the attachment becomes disproportionate. So on one side, in today’s world, we have more comforts than what people in the past had. In fact, many comforts which people in the past could not even imagine, they are available to people today.
Air conditioning is one example, mobile communication, airplane communication. All this is something which our world is filled with. And although we have comforts that were unavailable for people even a few centuries ago, still we have more distress than in the past.
So people are, we can say, comfortably distressed, comfortably unhappy. We live in AC, so we don’t sweat because we are in the sun. We live in AC, but we sweat because of stress.
Now, what is happening? Why the agitation is there? Because the attachment has increased. How has the attachment increased? At one level, in the world we live today, we are exposed to an unlimited variety of desire-stimulating impressions. In the past, if people had some desires, somebody might live in a village or in a town, they’d look at other people, oh, this person has got this, this person has got that.
I also want to get that. But now, if you want to compare, we compare with the whole world. Through the advertising industry, we look at the whole world, oh, this person has got this, this person has got this, this person has got this.
So I was at a conference in New Jersey, I was at a mental health care center where there was a conference going on, on teen suicides. And there, the cause of depression, depression is one of the most common causes for suicide. So what is the cause of depression? So one of the presenters there was telling that one of the surest ways to get a young girl depressed is to have her look at a fashion magazine.
As soon as I start looking at a fashion magazine, oh, this person looks so good, this person looks so good, this person looks so good, I don’t look so good. Now actually speaking, if we meet those people in real life, they don’t look that good. They first have physical makeup and then they have digital makeup.
And so what happens when we compare with the whole world or with a doctored picture of the world, then we feel that whatever I have is never enough. Whether it is my looks, whether it is my wealth, whether it is my possessions, I feel that I am not good enough, what I have is not good enough. And in many ways, much of today’s economy runs based on consumer dissatisfaction, customer dissatisfaction.
Because see, there are necessities, nobody has to advertise rice or vegetables or staple items. Those people are going to buy anyway. But advertisements are to be, are meant for creating desires in people.
And how do we create desires? By making people feel bad about what they have and making them believe that if you get this, you’ll feel good. I saw one ad, I was at the airport in India. So I saw one ad of a Bollywood star.
There was a young boy who was walking on the streets and there was a bevy of young girls and not one of them was even looking at him. And then this Bollywood star came by. And he came by, all the girls were squealing and running to him and hugging him and kissing him.
And this young man was looking with envy. And then that Bollywood star comes along and he hugs this person. Do you want to know what is my secret? Yes, that is some hair shampoo.
Like we have fair and lovely for women, so it is fair and handsome. Something like that. So now, then this boy goes and applies the shampoo and then he comes out and he is walking along and the girls see him and they come running to him.
Now, such an advertisement is an insult to both male and female intelligence. Female intelligence because they think that a woman will fall for a man just because he applied some shampoo. It is an insult to female intelligence.
And that men will believe such fairy tales. That is an insult to male intelligence. But the problem is that there is so much insecurity in society created by these glamorized depictions in the media that we fall for anything.
So normally, we all want to feel good about ourselves. And because we live in a society, we often feel good or bad about ourselves by comparing with others. Oh, this person has this thing.
I don’t have this thing. This person is like this. Oh, I am not like that.
In the past, people lived in a small pond. Small pond means a small frame of reference, whether it is a town or a village or a city. It is a small pond, a small community.
And then if they work hard reasonably, they grow and they become reasonably successful. And they become like a big fish in a small pond. And there is some level of life satisfaction that I have achieved something in my life.
But today, because of the media, because of the interconnectedness of the world, which is provided through technology, the whole world becomes like a pond. So it’s a huge pond. And no matter how big we become, still in that huge pond, we remain small.
So when our reference point is the whole world, we are never big enough. We are never good enough. And that’s how this attachment, oh, I want this, I want that, I want that, I want that, that leads to agitation.
It leads to dissatisfaction. So the raga, the desires have been increased enormously. And that’s why people are not satisfied.
They are agitated. No matter how much they have, the world keeps showing them how much they don’t have. And thus, despite having a lot, people are dissatisfied.
So it’s not that the world has become a tougher place. Yes, in some ways it has become a tougher place. But the world is what it is always.
But it is because our minds have been artificially agitated by the culture and the media around us that with so many desires running wild within our minds, we just can’t be peaceful. Now we have some children over here. And some children may be making little noise.
Some children are silent. Now imagine if there were 10 children over here and all of them are screaming, I want this toy, I want that toy, I want this, I want that, I want that. What peace could we have in this room? The room would become like a madhouse.
So in our minds are many childlike desires. I want this, I want that, I want that, why can’t I get this, where will I get that? And those desires drive us mad. They make our inner world like a madhouse.
Sometimes those desires, they just keep shouting so much. They become so much a part of us that we don’t even realize that this particular desire is causing my dissatisfaction. It is just we generally feel dissatisfied, generally feel agitated, generally feel irritated.
We don’t understand what is causing it. But it is overall raga. And along with raga comes bhaya.
Bhaya is fear. That fear, anxiety, worry. All this comes when we feel that our self-worth and self-identity comes from externals.
Only if I have this car, only if I have this kind of house, only if I have this kind of things, then I am successful. Then I am someone. People today equate their self-worth with their net worth.
Our net worth is important. Money is something which we all need to live in life. But money is something which we live with.
Money is not something which we live for. The necessities of life are not the purpose of life. The necessities of life are definitely necessary.
Just like if you are driving a car, fuel is necessary. But getting fuel is not the purpose of driving a car. Sometimes we may have to drive the car so that we get the fuel.
But we use the car for something higher. So getting fuel is not the purpose of the car. Similarly, getting money or getting the necessities of life is not the purpose of life.
So what we live with does not alone provide satisfaction. Some people say that there are so many poor people and they are not happy. There is so much distress.
It’s true, poor people are in distress. But are wealthy people happy? We say hungry people are in distress. But are all the well-fed people in the world happy? No.
So what this means is that the lack of material things causes distress. But the presence of material things doesn’t bring happiness. So sociologists have done a survey between wealth and happiness.
So when the wealth is below the poverty line, then there is a straight correlation. As the wealth increases, the happiness increases. But once the basic necessities are provided for, then there is no correlation.
Who is happy and who is not happy, that depends on individual disposition. That does not depend on individual income level. Some middle class people may be satisfied.
And some super wealthy people may be very dissatisfied. So that is determined by the way our mind is. If our mind is conditioned to look at the things we don’t have, that will cause dissatisfaction, no matter how much we have.
And if we are too invested in externals, then that will cause anxiety. Oh, this will go wrong, that will go wrong, that will go wrong, that will go wrong. And the more we are dependent on externals, the more we become agitated when the threat of losing those externals comes up.
Of course, there are many things in life which can go wrong. And a part of intelligence is preparing for the things and they go wrong. But there is a difference between preparing for the future and worrying about the future.
If we consider, say, our mind to be like an inner screen. Let’s do a simple thought experiment. So wherever you are, you can sit comfortably and you can close your eyes.
And you can take three deep breaths with me. Two, three. Now with your eyes closed, try to see what is in front of you.
You can’t see physically what is in front of you, but there is some kind of screen inside you on which you may see various things. You may see your home, your car, your family members, your office, your phone, or you may see just a dull haze of colors. Whatever it is that particularly you see, there is a screen on which you see it.
Now try to take a step back and look at who is looking at that inner screen. You can see the inner screen, but try to catch sight of who it is that is the inner seer that is looking at the screen. Try once again, take a step back and look at the inner seer.
No matter how much you try, no matter how many steps you take back, the inner seer steps back with you. You are that inner seer. What you are looking for is what you are looking with.
You, the inner seer, is the soul. The inner screen is the mind. You can take one deep breath and you can open your eyes.
Thank you. So, the inner seer, the inner screen and the outer see, they all three have to be normally in a straight line, then perception occurs. If the inner screen starts showing something else, then we don’t see properly.
We all have heard about the absent-minded professor. He puts his spectacles on top of his head. Where are my spectacles? Where are my glasses? Where are my glasses? Where are my glasses? So, how many of you have this experience that sometimes something is right in front of us, but we keep searching for it.
Where is it? Where is it? Where is it? Is it? You have that experience? Especially when I am travelling, I am packing up my bag, last moment, I always have this mess of it. Something is right there, but you can’t find it. Why? Because the mind is somewhere else.
So, basically, the inner screen can go off in various directions. So, when the inner screen starts looking at, Oh, this person has this, this person has that, this person has that, this person has that, then it causes dissatisfaction. And that is one form of agitation that is caused by raga.
When the inner screen starts thinking, Oh, this will go wrong, that will go wrong, that will go wrong, that will go wrong, the inner screen is going to the future and painting a horror movie. That causes anxiety. And when the inner screen starts looking at everything that has gone wrong in the past, this went wrong, that went wrong, that went wrong, it starts getting into anger.
This person did like this, that person did like that. And then that anger, as I said, when directed towards oneself becomes depression. Can lead to self-destruction, suicide also.
So now, we with our modern technology have worked a lot to improve the outer scene. Get a better house, get a better car, get better facilities in our house. But we have not taken much care to monitor what appears on the inner screen.
And on the inner screen, because of these three forces, raga, bhaya and krodha, attachment, fear and anger, lot of negative images keep coming. And that’s why we stay dissatisfied, we stay agitated, no matter how many things we get in our life. If you want satisfaction, getting more possessions will not lead to satisfaction.
If you want peace, just getting more and more things will not necessarily lead to peace. Because whatever things we have, our peace, our joy will be dependent on the thoughts that we have. The thoughts that we have determine our peace and happiness much more than the things that we have.
And today’s world gives us facilities to improve the things that we have, but it doesn’t give us much facility to improve the thoughts that we have. Actually, by stimulating raga, bhaya and krodha within us, it makes our thoughts more and more negative. It makes the thoughts grow more and more wild.
That’s why what we need if we want peace and joy is not more possession but more purification. Purification means we clean the inner screen, so that unwanted images don’t keep coming on the inner screen. And how does that happen? Krishna says in 4.10, vita-raga-bhaya-krodha-manmaya-maa-mupashrutah bahavo-jnana-tapasa-puta-mad-bhava-magatah This is manmaya, fix your consciousness on me, maa-mupashrutah, take shelter of me.
And in the past, many bahavo-jnana-tapasa, by the austerity of acquiring knowledge, jnana-tapasa, puta, they have become purified. Mad-bhava-magatah, they have attained bhava like me. That means they have become peaceful, they have become joyful, they have attained the spiritual state of consciousness.
So puta, we need purification. Purification of our thoughts is a far greater need for our happiness than the possession of things. Just like earlier, I gave the example of alcoholic.
An alcoholic may think, oh I don’t have this bottle, if I just get one more drink, I’ll feel peaceful. But what the alcoholic needs is not one more thing. What the alcoholic needs is to clean the mind of the alcoholism.
To the extent that is cleaned, the agitation will go away. Sometimes we think dissatisfaction is caused by frustration of our desires. Oh I didn’t get this, I didn’t get that, I didn’t get that.
Yes, that causes dissatisfaction. But more fundamentally, dissatisfaction is caused by domination by our desires. The alcoholic is dominated by their desires.
I want this, I want that, I want that, I want that. And when they don’t get it, they get frustrated. So their frustration is caused.
They think it is caused by the dissatisfaction, their dissatisfaction, they think it is caused by the frustration of their desires. But actually the dissatisfaction is caused by the domination by their desires. And this same thing applies even in our relationships.
Sometimes we think the other person has to do like this, they have to obey me, they have to listen to me. Why are they not doing like this? Why are they not doing like that? But everybody is a different person. Just as we have our strengths and weaknesses, others have their strengths and weaknesses.
We need to learn to live with imperfect people. Again because of this whole media’s depiction, we all look at fantasy world where people seem to be perfect. And as compared to that, the people around us always see this person has this problem, this problem, this problem.
Actually everybody has problems, we ourselves also have problems. So when we are dominated by the desire for perfection in others, we can never have any satisfaction in relationship with others. So to the extent we can clean our thoughts, we can purify our mind, to that extent we can become more peaceful and more joyful.
And Bhakti Yoga is the process for purifying our mind. Going to a temple or doing kirtan or hearing some katha, these are not just cultural rituals. They are actually transformative spiritual practices.
These are practices if we do them regularly, they will transform us internally. They will free us from the negativity within us. They will free us from the drives which drag us here, there and everywhere.
And thereafter we can decide, it’s not that we have to give up all desires. It is rather we are dominated by so many desires that we ourselves don’t know which desire is important, which desire is not important. So when we become purified, then we understand which desire is important and how much to focus on it.
So to the extent we can purify ourselves, to that extent Bhaya, Krodha and Raga fundamentally, that will decrease. And that will lead to tremendous peace of mind. That will lead to inner security.
So the Bhagavad Gita offers us the process of connecting with Krishna. Arjuna at the start of the Gita was agitated. He had Raga.
He says, I don’t want this battle to take place. I don’t want people to die. What if people die? No, no, I don’t want this to happen.
Yes, he had actual concern for others but he is not the ultimate controller. So when he heard the Bhagavad Gita’s message, then he became peaceful. In 18.73 he says that now I have become peaceful by hearing your message of Krishna.
So I’ll conclude with one incident and then you can have some questions if there are. As I mentioned, I was at a mental health care center and there I was talking with one person. Now he has now become a mental health care provider.
He has become a spiritual teacher, spiritual student, spiritual teacher. So what had happened was that when he was young, when he was about 18, he was in Colorado. So there he got into, there marijuana is available free, so he got into drugs and from there he had got into smaller drugs and bigger drugs.
And at that time just when he became legally major, that time he got a huge inheritance from his grandmother. His grandmother and mother did not get along very well. So when his grandmother passed away, she did not give anything to her daughter.
She gave everything to her grandson. That was probably the worst thing that could have happened to him. He had that attraction to drugs.
He had got that infatuation with drugs and he got money. Now within one year, he spent his whole inheritance, astronomical amount. And finally he had some sense by which he realized that the last amount that he had in his bank account, he used that to get himself admitted to a de-addiction center.
And in that de-addiction center, there was a spiritual counselor who happened to be a devotee. And this devotee started telling him about Krishna, about chanting Hare Krishna. And he said that actually, in these de-addiction centers, often people are put in detention.
Detention means that they are put in a restricted place. They are not allowed to communicate with others. Because sometimes the craving becomes so much that they just can’t function.
So he said that when he was in detention center, he was initially very frustrated. But then he started chanting Hare Krishna, started praying to Krishna. So what happened, he said, although I was in that detention center, I started feeling more free than I had felt for a long time.
Because by chanting, I became free from the sickening desires of my mind. As I became free from those sickening desires, I felt so much relief. I felt so much joy.
Then he not only became transformed, it took him some time of course, but he became transformed, he got out of that whole thing, and he felt I should help others. So then he went into college and he did, he studied psychology and then he has become a de-addiction counselor himself. So he has psychology and spirituality together to help people.
So this transformation happened because he realized, he got the opportunity to practice bhakti. And he tapped that opportunity. Now, for all of us, we may not be at that extreme stage where we are caught in an addiction.
But our mind also keeps agitating us. And this agitation of the mind is actually at one level very tiring. Do this, get this, watch this, touch this, buy this.
If this agitation would go down, we would be much more peaceful. And we would be much more satisfied, we would be much more purposefully productive. This is important thing, I will do this, this is not that important.
So that is the opportunity that is there for all of us. When we remember Krishna, when we chant the holy names of Krishna, He is like the sun. Our inner screen is filled with the fog.
When we don’t see things clearly. I want this, I want that, I want that. But what is the consequence of getting that? What is the consequence of even craving for that? We become blind to that.
Just like an alcoholic, drinking, just I want a drink. What is going to happen after that? What I am paying for that? Just become unmindful of that. So like that there is this fog inside us.
But when we invoke the presence of Krishna in our heart, Krishna is like the sun. And when He rises in our hearts, then this fog gets dissipated. And as that fog gets dissipated, the anxiety, the fear, the depression, the anger, all that starts going down.
We start seeing things clearly. Our inner screen instead of going off to past, future and everywhere, it focuses on the reality of where we are. And we start becoming more satisfied with the things that are right in our life.
And we become more productive in focusing on the things that are important in our life. And that’s how while the world may give us technological progress, it is we who have to ensure our spiritual progress. And if there is technological progress externally coupled with spiritual progress internally, then there will be happiness.
Then there will be freedom from the distress that is otherwise tormenting us all at the psychological level. By connecting with Krishna spiritually, we can go beyond psychological distress to have holistic happiness. So I’ll summarize.
I spoke today about why is there psychological distress amidst technological progress. So suicide is the ultimate expression of a person who is so psychologically distressed as to find life unbearable. And 1 million people are committing suicide every year.
So why is this happening? There can be specific causes of why a particular person commits suicide. But generically, it is because the mind is so dissatisfied. And what makes the mind dissatisfied? Three forces.
What are three forces? Anyone remember? Raga, Bhaya, Krodh. Yes. Attachment, fear and anger.
So I talked about how technology on one side has made things comfortable for us. But technology has also expanded our world so that we can see what, who has everywhere in the world. And thus our desires have increased more and more.
In fact, the best technology is often used to promote advertisements. And those advertisements, they create desires within us by constantly showing us all the things we don’t have. So where in the past we lived in a small pond and if we became a big fish in a small pond, we’d be satisfied.
Now when the whole world is the pond, no matter how big we become, we still feel small and we still feel dissatisfied. And just as an alcoholic gets agitated on seeing alcohol and just can’t have peace of mind, similarly our desires keep us agitated. And we get so fixated with those desires that we start thinking the externals are the basis of our self-worth and self-identity.
And then when we start fearing the loss of externals, that causes enormous anxiety. So the more the attachment to externals, the more the anxiety when the externals are threatened. And then if something goes wrong, if we lose something, that causes anger.
That anger can lead to wanton acts of violence externally on others. It can also lead to acts of violence on oneself where our mind beats us up repeatedly by making us depressed. And ultimately the mind can kill us by making us destroy ourselves.
So raga, bhaya and krodha, we understood them as there is the inner screen. We are the inner seer. There is the inner screen and the outer scene.
So technology has improved the outer scene by giving us better things. But technology has also indirectly caused the inner screen to become darker with more dissatisfying thoughts. So our happiness depends not just on the things that we have but much more on the thoughts that we have.
There are physical necessities of life. Not having those necessities causes distress. But getting those necessities like food doesn’t necessarily bring happiness.
So the necessities of life are not the purpose of life. What we live with is not what we live for. So the thoughts determine what we are living for.
And we need to clean our thoughts. Just like alcoholic dissatisfaction is not caused by the frustration of the desire to get alcohol. It is caused by domination by the desire for alcohol.
Similarly, whatever specific desires may be frustrated in our life, our dissatisfaction is caused by the fact that we are dominated by those desires. Whether it be desires for perfect things or the desire for perfect people in our life. So how do we clean our mind? That is by connecting with Krishna.
He is all pure and He is like the sun. When the fog is there, we can’t fight with the fog. We can’t beat the fog.
Similarly, the thoughts that are there, how do we fight? We can’t beat the thoughts out. But if we invoke the presence of Krishna in our hearts by the process of Bhakti Yoga, then this fog dissipates. Just as this boy who became an addict because of the big inheritance he got.
He had financial progress but that only increased his psychological distress. But finally, there is a spiritual progress by practicing Bhakti that gave him freedom. So similarly, whatever be the distress that we may be facing, if we connect with Krishna and invoke His presence in our hearts, our minds and our hearts will become much more peaceful and joyful.
So we all want to grow but this body naturally grows. Desires are not to be given up but it is disproportionate desires are like cancerous growth. So when we become purified, we understand which desires are healthy and thus we become satisfied with the heart we have and we become productive with respect to the desires that are important for us.
Thank you very much. Hare Krishna. Are there any questions or comments? Now there are many ways in which we, what is exactly chanting, how it is to be done.
There are many ways in which we can connect with God and purify our hearts. So one of the most accessible ways in which we can connect with Him is through His holy names. So the word mantra refers to special sound.
It is spiritual power encased in sound. Manas prayate iti mantra. It is that sound which frees the mind from anxiety, from negativity.
There are many mantras. The most powerful are the mantras which involve the names of the supremely powerful person. That is God.
So we chant the Hare Krishna mantra. Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare, Hare Ram, Hare Ram, Ram Ram, Hare Hare. So we can chant this mantra just in our mind but it is more powerful if we chant it loudly or at least softly so that we can hear it.
Not only the tongue but the ears are involved in the process. And we also use japa mala to chant the holy names by which we can become more absorbed in the chanting. This is a very powerful way by which we can pacify the mind.
Any other questions or comments? Yes. So if we all want things to work out in a particular way, when they don’t work out we get agitated. So how can we know when the desire is becoming too powerful? When we are trying too much to control things or get things our way.
Of course we all need some level of control. So if we are parents we want to train our children in a particular way. If we are working at a job we have to meet deadlines.
We are at home, we have to have some level of order at our home. So some amount of order is essential. And controlling situations is important but controlling our disposition is even more important.
If in trying to control the situation our disposition is becoming wildly out of control that means I have to take a step back. I have to evaluate. Like we all need a certain level of control.
But sometimes the situation may be more complex than what we thought. Then we may have to adapt. Say for example if I try to lift a weight.
If I have to travel somewhere I have to carry a bag. I normally can lift a weight but suddenly if I find this bag is becoming too heavy then if I try to lift it I will break my hand. So then okay I have to make a new plan.
What do I do? Maybe I have to get someone to help me to carry this bag. Or I have to remove something from this bag. Or I have to get some things transported in some other way not through this bag.
Maybe use some other bag which can be dragged along. Basically when we realize that something is bigger than what we can manage then we have these three options. Either we get someone to help us to do it.
Or we decide I will do it only partially now. And get others to do it in some other way. Or there is no need to do it.
I will do what I can in this situation. So basically sometimes in certain situations we think this is a simple bag to lift. But then it turns out to be much more complex.
So at that time we have to take a step back. And evaluate what exactly is happening over here. So if just as normally if a bag is too heavy we will not go about lifting the bag.
We will put it down. But unfortunately when some things are going out of control still we try to use those same control strategies which have not worked in the past. I told someone do something and they are not doing it.
I keep telling them again and again and again. And they just feel that you are nagging them. And they just become closed off after that.
Now it may be important for us to get that thing done. But how to do it we have to take a step back. So broadly speaking whenever we face a difficult situation we have three alternatives.
I call them as tolerate, mitigate or immigrate. If the weather is very cold at a particular place. What do I do? I tolerate it.
This is the place where I am living. This is the place where my home is, my job is. I have to stay here.
I just learn to tolerate it. If I can’t then I have to make sure that I have a lot of warm clothes. I have good heating in my home, in my office, in my car.
So I mitigate it. Or if that does not work then I have to go to some other place. Immigrate.
So similarly for us when a difficult situation comes up and some things are going out of control then tolerate. I thought this was simple but this is not working out. Let me just take a step.
Tolerate it. Let’s see how it works out. I did my part in it.
Let me leave it at that. Mitigate means oh but I have to get this done. So if I alone can’t do it let me get somebody else’s help and get it done.
Or immigrate means I don’t want to get involved in this. Now if we say take up a new project, we are exploring a new relationship, we are doing something new, and it’s just becoming too complicated. I have more important things to do in my life.
I don’t want to get bogged down by this. So we move out. So basically we don’t have to make it into an issue of personal success or failure.
Sometimes we become so invested in something that if it doesn’t work out right I think oh I am a failure. Actually we don’t have to take life too personally. When something goes wrong, this happens, that happens.
It is not necessary that we are bad people or we are failures. Sometimes the way of life is that things will go wrong. So if we observe it from a detached perspective, little distance perspective, take a deep breath, take a step back and observe ourselves, then we can determine how important it is for us and then we can decide what is the best way to deal with it.
Whether to tolerate it, mitigate it or emigrate from it. Thank you. Any other questions or comments? How many of you are coming for the first time for a spiritual program like this? Maybe some of you can tell some point which you felt was useful for you, which you would carry home with you.
You spend an evening coming here and invested in learning something about the Gita. If you felt something you would carry home, maybe you can speak some point like that. Yes, please.
One point that we start to learn to be with imperfect people or imperfect environment or imperfect surroundings or imperfect whole world. I mean we have to come to terms saying, okay, everything else can be imperfect. I am not a person to go and change that.
I don’t get bogged down by, as you said, that I should not be bogged down to go and change something. Don’t take it too personal. Let’s say, for example, if something is not clean somewhere outside and you are going and observing, don’t be bogged down with that.
Sometimes we tend to get carried away with that. Slowly that’s a distraction. And that becomes like a big distraction later.
That is something that we will start to learn. I am going to take that forward with me. Thank you.
Sometimes we try to have things perfect. And the problem with that is two problems. First is that when we try to make things perfect, we also have our imperfections.
But we may be very good in one particular thing and others may be bad in that thing. And we look at that. Why can’t you do this right? And we often compare our strengths with others’ weaknesses.
I may be very clean, but others may not be clean. On the other hand, somebody else may be very sensitive about remembering birthdays or special occasions, remembering to give gifts. And I am very forgetful about that.
Now what happens to help become more sympathetic towards others, more empathic towards others, more understanding. Rather than comparing their weaknesses with our strengths, we can compare their weaknesses with our weaknesses in some other field. Just as, yeah, I want to do this, but I keep forgetting it.
Just can’t do it. Similarly for them, that is very difficult to do. So when we see it that way, then it becomes easier.
There is no place which is perfect in the world. There is no society, no community that is perfect. And if at all there were a perfect community somewhere in this world, we would not get admission there.
Because we are not perfect. Thank you. Any other thoughts? Okay, very good question.
How can attachment be avoided? Yeah, actually at one level, as I said, to desire is natural. So and desire as it goes steadily, it becomes attachment. So we can’t avoid attachment entirely.
But we can select our attachments. The Bhagavad Gita in the first six chapters talks about anasakti, virakti. But then later on in the seventh chapter it begins by saying mayi asakta manaha.
It becomes attached to me. So ultimately because we are conscious beings, we will have desires. And to have desires means that we will have attachments.
But we are meant to become attached to God, to Krishna. And then when we become attached to other things in relationship with Krishna, means rather than thinking these are my children, we think that these are, we all belong to Krishna and these are Krishna’s children who have been interested in my care. Rather than thinking this is my property, this is Krishna’s property, he is interested in my care.
So that way when we, by the practice of bhakti, make our attachment to Krishna, then we see everything in relationship with him. And then it is that when we become attached to something bigger, then we can give up attachment to something smaller. Not that we become, we throw it away, but we don’t become so emotionally invested in it.
Just like small children, they are so attached to their toys. Just they want the toy all the time, they sleep with their toy, they wake up with their toy. But as those children grow up, then they are not so infatuated by those toys.
They have their studies, they have their career, they have their friends. So by the process of growth, they outgrow those attachments. Because now they recognize that the world is much bigger, and there are bigger things to do in life, and they have bigger attachments.
Unfortunately nowadays, some kids don’t grow up only. They go into teenage, they become adults, but still they are caught playing video games all their life. So, as we grow, it is that we recognize that there are bigger things in life.
And then as we recognize there are bigger things in life, our attachment to smaller things falls aside. So, similarly as we grow spiritually, we understand that the biggest reality is Krishna. That I am an eternal part of Krishna.
mamai vamsho jiva loke, jiva bhutah sanatanah We are eternal parts of Krishna. So we have a vertical relationship with Krishna, which is eternal. And we have many relationships with others, that’s our horizontal relationships.
They are also important, but they are temporary. The ideal situation is where the horizontal and vertical relationships work symbiotically. Symbiotically means the vertical relationship strengthens our horizontal relationship, and the horizontal relationship strengthens our vertical relationship.
That means that, say, in all our relationships sometimes people, our loved ones may disappoint us, may annoy us, may irritate us. But if we are sheltered in Krishna, if we are practicing bhakti, by that we are getting peace, then we will be able to be more tolerant, more understanding, more responsible and less reactionary in those relationships. So whatever difficulties come in our horizontal relationships, we will be able to tolerate them better.
So the vertical relationship will stabilize our horizontal relationship. The ups and downs, we will be able to navigate them better. If we understand that I am eternal servant of Krishna, I am eternal part of Krishna, that is my primary identity, then we won’t become so emotionally dependent on how others are acting.
And even if they go through their mood, they go through their ups and downs, we will tolerate them. And similarly, if our family members, our loved ones are also spiritual, they are also devoted to Krishna, then sometimes we feel not so devotional, our mind goes through various moods, then at that time we feel down, but they will encourage us to move on. So the vertical relationship stabilizes the horizontal relationships and the horizontal relationship strengthens the vertical relationship.
So basically, the more we practice bhakti to become attached to Krishna, we start seeing our other attachments in proper perspective. It’s not that we reject those things, but that we see them in proper perspective. Proper perspective means, how important is this? How much control do I have in this situation? How much time, energy and emotion should I invest in this situation? In this particular thing, we can see it properly.
So if we study the Bhagavad Gita and understand our eternal relationship with Krishna and focus on developing that relationship, then we grow spiritually. Children naturally grow biologically. Biological growth happens just by nature.
But spiritual growth doesn’t happen by nature. It happens by nurture. It happens by conscious choice.
We have to nurture our spiritual side. Then as it grows, the more we become attached to Krishna, the less we become dependent on external things. And then we can be affectionate without being attached.
We don’t want to be hard-hearted and uncaring towards the people around us. But we don’t want to be emotionally dependent on them. So we can be affectionate without being attached when we develop our attachment to Krishna.
Does it answer your question? Can it be minimized? If we go towards Krishna, can our attachment be minimized? It depends on what the nature of that attachment is. Some attachments, it is healthy to minimize them. Some attachments, it may be unhealthy to minimize them.
So as I said, we see things in proper perspective. That means that if in a particular relationship we have done our responsibility, we have done our part and still we are becoming over-controlling, over-dominating, then it is better to be a little distance, be a little detached. So attachment to Krishna will naturally bring detachment when the detachment is healthy.
So after all, when we become attached to someone or something, why do we become attached? Because we want something in that. We want something and we are getting something from it. We are getting some pleasure, some shelter, some peace, some joy.
But when we connect with Krishna, bhakti, pareshanubhava, viraktir anyatra ca, the process of bhakti gives us paraesha anubhav, experience of that divine who cannot be experienced by any other means. And what happens by that? Viraktir anyatra ca, we become detached from other things. So we don’t become so dependent on those things.
Yes, so detachment in a healthy way comes by the practice of bhakti yoga. And detachment is not irresponsibility. Irresponsibility means we don’t do our part.
Detachment means we do our part and then we let go. Like if a student, if a child is there and the exam is coming and mother says, study for the exam. He says, no, no, I am detached.
That is not detachment. That is irresponsibility. But if one has appeared for an exam, done one’s studies properly and then one is worrying, what will happen in this exam, what will happen in this exam, what will happen in this exam? Be detached.
You have done your part, now let go. So similarly in our relationships, we have various relationships. When our children are small, at that time we are responsible.
We have to mould their character, we have to give the right samskaras for them, we have to help them grow into becoming good citizens. But as they grow up, they become their own persons. They have become adults, they are going to make their own choices.
At that time, we have to give them freedom. They are detached. So bhakti helps us see things in the proper perspective.
And that is how we can become detached in a healthy way by the practice of bhakti. Any other thoughts? One more reflection anyone has? How do you see the world, what benefits you have got having come to Krishna Consciousness? What we are losing, obviously you are in the part of the mental world. So how do you see it? What benefits I have got or I have experienced by practicing bhakti or sharing bhakti? I have written a whole book about it.
I have not yet published it. It is going to be published in next six months. But anyway, I will tell two main points.
When I was in my college, at that time I was a part of a social welfare organization. So there I had a lot of faith in the power of education. So I used to go to the nearby slums and I used to offer free tuitions to the slum children.
You know, in English, Maths, History, like that. And I found that most of these children, they came from dysfunctional families. The fathers were alcoholics.
And I found the fathers were not bad people. When I would meet them, they would be nice people, they would be grateful that I am coming and teaching the children. But then the kids would say that when they would drink alcohol, they become like a different person.
And there would be domestic violence at their homes. So I talked with the leaders of that organization. And then we decided to diversify into helping people become free from alcohol.
And we worked quite hard. One of my friends, I used to go to nearby slums, one of my friends used to go to nearby small village. And that whole village, very small village, became free from alcohol.
And we considered it a big success. But then, one day, this friend came back from that village and he looked shattered. He said, what happened? He said, there had been local municipality elections and a political candidate, in order to get votes, had brought three truckloads of free liquor for everyone.
And not only the fathers, but even their sons had drunk. So at that time I started thinking that there is, we might give people knowledge. My hope was that education will open the door to healthier choices for people.
But it struck me that it is not just that outer doors need to be opened for people to make healthier choices. Some inner doors need to be opened also. Sometimes even when people have the options to make healthier choices, in terms of career and growth, but something internal sabotages them.
So what was that? Somehow, as I was asking this question, at that time, a friend gave me the Bhagavad Gita. And when I read the 3rd chapter, in 3rd chapter, 36th verse, Arjuna asked the same question. He says that, what is it that impels me, what is it that impels one to do wrong things? Even when we do that, we should know we shouldn’t do it.
What is it that makes people lusty? What is it that makes people greedy? What is it that makes people angry? So I just don’t know. So Arjuna asked me, what makes us do that? And then Krishna explains about how there are impurities in our mind and these need to be cleansed. So I felt this was the key.
So after that I passed out and I worked in software company for some time. I had opportunity at that time also to come to America. But then I felt that there are many people who write software programs.
But there are not many people who are there to share spiritual knowledge. And I was myself at that time very short tempered. So by practicing Bhakti Yoga, I found that my short temper went down substantially.
So I felt that I could contribute to society much more by sharing the Gita’s knowledge than by writing software programs. So that’s what I started. And now I, apart from my traveling, I also write on the Gita everyday.
I have a website called Gita Daily. I write on the blog on Gita everyday. So I have many devotees and many new people.
Many people who read that, they write to me feeling that how they are benefited by this. So when I was in one city, one couple came to meet me and this Mataji, she told me that her husband was very short tempered. And their marriage was on the verge of breaking up just because of his short temper.
But then somehow he came across the Bhagavad Gita and he found my blog and he has been reading the Bhagavad Gita daily. So he has been reading it for the last about nine months and he has changed completely. I can see that before he reads that blog, he is irritated.
He reads it, he becomes calm. So I can see that actually he has become a better human being, a better person, a better husband. So seeing that our attempts of sharing some spiritual knowledge are having practical benefits for people, that is what gives great fulfillment.
That’s what inspires me to keep sharing this message. Thank you very much. So you can personally ask something what you have.
Students are always open-minded.