Bhagavatam-daily 118 – 11.08.34 – Why desire anyone other than the infallible Lord who delivers eternal happiness

We pointed how they are useless now she is coming back to her point and reiterating it she says I am such a fool I am the only fool I am the only fool we do not know much about the city of videha and whether there were other prostitutes or not in that city we don’t know but even if we assume that she is the only prostitute and in that sense she is saying that I have been so I have engaged in vidharya vartaya an abominable profession still at the same time this expression is also an expression of the intensity of her lamentation and repentance that how foolish I am I alone am so foolish who else could have been so foolish so what is my folly so so I desired someone else other than the lord for the sake of karmam so in this world we all are attracted to things based on their potential for giving pleasure if we have if we come in front of a meal then we choose the item which will which will taste the best usually of course if there are other factors say if some food item is forbidden for us because of health issues or whatever that’s it or because of weight issues we don’t want to eat a particular thing that’s different but in general you know we take we select things based on their pleasure potential and even if we avoid a thing because it’s going to add to the weight or it’s going to spoil the health there also the pleasure potential is still there we are thinking oh the pleasure which I get by having by having a good looking figure that will be lost by doing this so I won’t take it so essentially we evaluate things based on their pleasure potential so here she is saying that the lord I rejected him now what is the nature of the lord he is giving two characteristics of him he is atmadat and he is achutat atmadat you know actually for all of us we are as of now spiritually lost we are trying to become spiritually realized to realize ourselves our identity as souls but we are spiritually lost in the sense that we do not we are not aware of our identity we have to repeatedly remember remind ourselves and even after repeated reminder still after that also we keep tend to keep forgetting so in such a situation when we repeatedly forget our identity at that time to if somebody can give us spiritual realization can give us atmadat can also mean that the soul has a spiritual form and that form is rewarded by the lord to those who devote himself themselves to him so atmadat so one who gives spiritual knowledge spiritual realization spiritual attainment that is a unique attainment what the lord can give no one else can give other people if they are powerful or wealthy they can give money they can give a house they can give other things but atmadat is something which no one else can give and what is the speciality of atmadat at the level of atma there is everlasting happiness at the level of the body now she has just done a chilling expose of the body in her in the previous words she has said what is this body but just a house which is made of beads and the beauty of the body is simply a cover up job because the skin and the hair and the nails it appears beautiful but even within that beauty it is minmutra poornam there is stool and urine so she has done a chilling expose of the body in the previous words and so she is saying that as contrasted with the body there is the soul the body which is just because of a cover up job looks attractive but which is actually not a source of beauty or pleasure and through the body you cannot get pleasure as compared to that the atma which is the source of which is who we are and atmadat means to get realisation of the soul and the soul is achitananda so the ananda also comes when we realise the soul so atmadat that lord who gives us that and further is achutat achutat means he is infallible one there are other people in the world who may promise things and not deliver the promise but this lord is one who he promises and then he delivers his promise he lives up to his word he walks his talk that is his speciality there is quite no one like him in being faithful krishna has the power to be faithful and it is we are going to work on the sorry actually here she is thinking that even if we work on the body and try to improve it she is expert in that still that did not give much pleasure so she is saying that if i could have got higher pleasure by if i had sought higher pleasure by serving the lord and the lord is infallible now at the level of the body it fall so it is through the through the foundation of repentance that reformation can occur and here she is expressing her intense repentance at her wrongdoings in the past and from this reformation will take place as will be evident in the