How can we differentiate between offering help and interfering in others’ business?

From Manoj P

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
Hare Krishna. Question from Manoj Prabhu. How do we differentiate between giving unnecessary advice and helping others, especially in devotee circles when we are either being introduced to new people who are coming to Krishna consciousness or with people with whom we are regularly interacting? Answer, the essential principle that should underlie all our dealings, whether they be with devotees or with new people, is the attitude of service.
We want to, we are servants and we want to serve Krishna and we want to serve those who are either connected to Krishna or those who are potential to become connected with Krishna. Now how that service will be expressed will vary depending on the situation that we are in, what is our position and what is that person’s position. So if a devotee, if a person is already connected with somebody on a regular basis from whom that person is taking guidance, then our giving guidance may be seen as unnecessary interference.
So then we can, if that devotee asks some general philosophy questions, we can answer. But some specific application questions if the devotee asks, then we can tell them, please consult your counselor, mentor, guide and that person will guide you better. But if some person whom we are regularly connected with, that person asks, then it’s definitely our responsibility to provide answers to those questions.
In fact, it is the duty of every follower of Srila Prabhupada to carry on the legacy that Krishna has given through Srila Prabhupada to all of us. So we should definitely want to help others, but if that person is either connected with somebody else or that person is not receptive, that means we give some help, we give some suggestions and some guidance and that person doesn’t value it, doesn’t care for it, then we know that there are other people who will be interested. Let us not spend too much of our time.
So either that person’s attitude or that person’s pre-existing connection with some other regular guide, that may deter us from, that can be a valid deterrent for us to not poke our nose in those situations. And apart from that also, in general we should have, when people start seeing things as interference is when we start giving personal guidance. As long as we are not going into the zone of personal guidance, as long as we are in the realm of general philosophical instruction, then generally most people don’t object to it.
And if we find that whatever we speak, there is somebody who always contradicts us, who always minimizes us, then it’s possible that one day we may be wrong, but it’s also possible that the relationship is not working out well. So we don’t have to necessarily share Krishna consciousness in those situations. So we will always find some circle, maybe small circle, maybe just one or two people, who will be eager to receive Krishna consciousness.
And that’s when we can share Krishna consciousness. And generally somebody is a practicing devotee, so we have our seniors, we have our equals and we have our juniors. So certainly it is inappropriate as per etiquette, and it may be entirely wrong also for us to give advice to our seniors.
Even to our equals, our interaction should be more on the basis of exchange, rather than just giving. Of course, we can give service, we can help when practical help is needed. But giving advice, we should be conservative with respect to our equals.
Only if we seek advice from them and they give advice honestly to us, then we can give honest advice to them. Because although we want to be honest, at the same time we also have to understand that actually not all people can digest honesty. And also what we may think of as honesty may just be our misjudgment.
Therefore, with equals also, we can speak truthfully, depending on the trust level in that relationship. And with juniors, certainly we want to share Krishna consciousness, but as long as we are focusing on the general philosophical principles, that won’t be seen as unwarranted interference by most people. In fact, they will be grateful that we are sharing Krishna conscious principles with them.
Our practical applications, if some devotees are in our care, then definitely we can give them practical guidance. Apart from that, we should be a little conservative in giving practical guidance to anyone. Because the practical guidance can backfire also.
If something goes wrong with that person, that person may come and blame us. You told me to do like this and see what will happen now. Now you solve this problem.
We can’t solve that problem because ultimately every person is an individual. That person has to take responsibility. So, overall, we should always… Now Chaitanya Mahaprabhu has given us standing instructions.
Srila Prabhupada would often repeat, So with whoever we meet, we should share Krishna consciousness. So this is definitely a valid instruction, a valuable instruction, and we should want to follow it. But Krishna Upadesh can be of many types.
Krishna Upadesh can be generic philosophy that we should try to share with as many people as possible. But with respect to specific instructions, do like this, don’t do like this, corrections, instructions, those we should be conservative. Because that person may not be able to digest it.
Actually, we may also be wrong in giving that to that person. Or it can lead to certain consequences that will get both of us into trouble. So whatever factors are there.
So, as far as philosophy sharing is concerned, we should be eager to share the philosophy with anyone and everyone. And wherever we find somebody receptive, we should share. But with respect to practical guidance, we can be conservative.