If a person despite trying sincerely is still struggling because of past conditionings and he wants to be honest with guru, what should he do?

From: vikrant badgujar

my question is, if someone is trying sincerely, but becoz of his past conditioning he cannot follow all the rule and regulations & for the mistake what he performs, he always repent for that, but he wants to be honest with guru & gouranga, in this situtaion what he should do? 

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
Question from Vikrant Bhatgujar Prabhu.
If someone is trying sincerely, but because of his past conditionings, he cannot follow all the rules and regulations, and he always repents for the mistakes that he performs, but he wants to be honest with Guru and Gauranga. In this situation, what should he do? Answer. This is a predicament which all of us as sadhakas face and it is something which we all have to face with honesty and humility.
So, in the purport of 3.31 in the Bhagavad Gita, where Lord Krishna is telling how one should faithfully follow his instructions, ये में मतमिदं नित्यम् अनुतिष्ठन्ति मानवः शद्धावन्तो अनुसुयन्तो मुच्चन्तेते पिकर्मभी So there, Lord Krishna is telling that one who follows my instructions faithfully and non-enviously, शद्धावन्तो अनुसुयन्तो, such a person, मुच्चन्तेते पिकर्मभी, will be soon liberated from the bonds of karma. So, in this purport, Srila Prabhupada explains that when we have to follow the Lord’s instructions, there are two wrong attitudes too. One extreme is resentment and rejection, where we feel, why is Krishna the enjoyer? Why can I not be the enjoyer? And we resent the instructions of the Lord.
We resent the regulative principles. We resent the idea that we are servants. And when we have this attitude, at that time, we can make no spiritual advancement.
So when we resent internally, we cannot offer our heart to Krishna. And sometimes when the resentment becomes too much, we may reject all the rules entirely, saying that these are not possible for me to practice. And the, so first is, we find fault with the rules.
And the second, Prabhupada says is, we become hopeless. That means we feel that, oh, it’s impossible for me to practice this. I am so sinful.
I am so fallen. And although this might seem like humility, actually it is self-justifying and self-perpetuating pseudo-humility. That means it is actually a garb the false ego wears to prevent Krishna Consciousness from destabilizing and destroying it.
That means if we sincerely practice Krishna Consciousness, no matter how fallen we are, we’ll gradually become purified and we’ll become free from the false ego. And we’ll become free from all our conditionings. But we have a false ego which wants to continue to try to be the enjoyer.
And the way the false ego continues its control on us is by persuading us that we are too fallen. Actually, when we say I’m so fallen that I cannot practice Krishna Consciousness, basically it is in one way of saying that the power of my conditioning is greater than the power of Krishna’s redeeming mercy. And that is actually wrong.
It’s not just wrong. It’s also a sign of arrogance that that means in my fallen condition, I am greater than Krishna. And even Krishna can’t purify me.
So once we avoid these two pitfalls, first pitfall is of resentment and rejection, and the other is hopelessness and dejection. Then we can move forward steadily. So that means, where is the fault? The fault is not in my conditioning.
The fault is not in the rules. The fault is in my lack of willingness and determination to follow the rules by which I can overcome the conditioning. So if we try to follow the rules at a level that we are not comfortable at, that we are not capable of presently, then naturally we’ll become discouraged.
Just as a person who can presently lift 10 kg weight suddenly tries to lift a 50 kg weight, the person will become entirely not only disheartened mentally about his capacity to lift the weight, but the person may also become wounded in the attempt to lift the weight. So we can’t follow rules and regulations which we are not yet ready to follow. Now, what is the level that we are ready to follow right now? That we can learn by practice and experience.
So that’s why we start slowly, we start chanting for one round, two rounds, four rounds, then we come to 16 rounds. And similarly, we want to follow the four regulative principles. And we take step by step in giving up our bad habits.
And some bad habits are so dangerous that it is best that we just cut ourselves off from them the moment we realize how dangerous they are. But still, we may keep falling back to those habits. So in such situations, we need to take guidance from senior devotees.
If the bad habits are very injurious to our spiritual life, then we may have to make some drastic change in our work situation, in our physical situation, in our whatever, by which we don’t get subjected to the temptation that will allure us. So if, say, a bad habit was eating meat, and you’re not able to give it up, generally, most devotees don’t have this difficulty. But this is an example to illustrate the point.
Then maybe we should avoid taking lunch with those people who are eating meat. If the bad habit is surfing on nasty sites, then we should not have internet access in a public place. We should not have internet access in a private place for ourselves.
Whatever surfing we have to do, it can be done in a public place so that our mind will not be able to trick us. So we have to take some practical measures. There’s no need to become discouraged.
We need to know that step by step by step, as I lift up weights more and more, I will become stronger. So we cannot go about telling this to anyone and everyone in the name of honesty. At the same time, we cannot hide it from anyone, because that will be like a patient hiding the disease from the doctor.
So normally, a patient would never want to hide a disease from a doctor. But because we want to portray illusion of sound spiritual health and advancement to others, due to the trick of the false ego, that’s why we don’t want to tell about our conditioning to others. But that will not help us to solve the problem.
So we can find out some senior trustworthy devotee, we know will understand us, will accept us as we are, and then will encourage us to elevate ourselves. So when if we have to devote extremely fortunate, and if we don’t have to devote, we should pray to Krishna sincerely, for his guidance, not just to directly solve the problem, but for also to give us such a devotee in our lives, who can act as a mentor for us. And if we make slow steady determined resolutions, in a realistic and planned way, then surely whatever be the conditioning will be able to become free from it over a period of time.
The most important thing in battling with this condition is to never lose hope, never ever lose hope. Because Krishna has been accompanying us for so many lifetimes, and we never even turned to him. Yet Krishna, despite being neglected and rejected by us for hundreds of lifetimes, did not give up hope on us till now.
So we have been trying to serve Krishna and seek his help to overcome our conditioning just for a few years in one lifetime. So if Krishna did not give up on us for so many lifetimes, why should we give up on him in such a short practice of a few years? If we keep practicing, we know that Krishna is with us, and our conditionings will become weak, and we will break free from them over a period of time. So therefore, just make solid plans, take guidance from devotees, and stick to resolutions.
Make simple steady resolutions and stick to them. The only way to increase our willpower is by making commitments. So we make commitments, stick to those commitments, our confidence will increase, our determination will increase, our capacity to make bigger commitments and stick to them will also increase.
And that way, we will be able to break free from our conditionings entirely. And then we will experience that Krishna consciousness is su-sukham kartum ho gaya. One important thing for this is that we should not justify our mistakes by saying it is past conditioning.
It is not past conditioning all the time. It is present carelessness also many times. Past conditionings cannot overcome us on a regular basis.
Once in a while, past conditionings because of some unexpected circumstances may overpower us. But if repeatedly we are being overpowered, then that is not just past conditionings. It is present carelessness.
That means we are not planning carefully, where are the dangers? How will I deal with them? It’s just like a person who is going for a war doesn’t take the weapon with him. And he can’t say that I was wounded. What could I do? The enemy was there.
The enemy was there, but you know, this person could have taken the weapon and fought back with the enemy. So we can’t just justify or rationalize our continuing difficulties in Krishna consciousness in the name of past conditioning. We also have to see how I am being careless or lazy, or sometimes just senseless in my present.
And we need to make sure that we are careful and diligent and intelligent in planning to deal with the temptations. So although just by our carefulness, planning and diligence and intelligence, we cannot overcome the temptations. We need Krishna’s mercy.
But this planning, carefulness, diligence, intelligence, all these help us to show Krishna that we are serious about giving up the conditioning. And when Krishna sees that we are serious, then he gives us the strength to overcome the conditioning. And then we can break free from it entirely.
Thank you.