If our KC becomes weak away from devotee association, does it mean that our core conviction is weak?

Transcript

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Question When our Krishna consciousness becomes weak when we are away from devotee association, does that mean our core conviction is weak? Answer Possibly, but not necessarily. Because Krishna consciousness is not just tested when we are alone. Krishna consciousness is essentially a process which is performed in association with devotees.
So in the spiritual world also we are not alone. We are not just alone only with Krishna. We are with Krishna and with devotees.
So our state of consciousness when we are alone is not necessarily the parameter of our health and strength in Krishna consciousness. If we have to understand it, we have to look at our overall commitment to the process and try to understand our motivations for that commitment. So when we are not in devotee association, then other motives, circumstantial motives may not be there.
For example, we may want to create a good impression on others, other devotees in the devotee community. We may want to set a good example for others and we may also want to have some motive that we want to become a leader in the devotee community. And that’s why we are behaving in a particular way.
And those external motives are what are primarily driving us. If we are not in devotee association, if we are alone or if we are non-devotee association, then the pressure of that group may affect us. Because we want to create a good impression among them also.
So we may conform to their values and accordingly our Krishna consciousness may get distorted or may get suppressed or temporarily covered up. We may not act in Krishna conscious ways because we are trying to please those who are around us. And we are like a chameleon changing colors at that time.
So it’s not necessary that our core conviction is weak. It may well be that we are too influenced by our social circumstances. And that’s why we are affected negatively when we are away from devotee association.
Another point to consider is that we also have a lot of regard given in the Krishna conscious process to the association of devotees. So it’s not that we have to go away from association of devotees to test our spiritual health and strength. Our spiritual health and strength may sometimes be tested even in devotee association.
Because often we like to be isolated monarchs. We like to have our own jungle and we like to be the king in that jungle. So if we are in devotee association then other devotees have different views, they have different ideas of how to do things and that may irritate us.
And that’s why some devotees may feel more peaceful when they have their own territory and when they don’t have other devotees infringing on their jurisdiction. So now they may feel more healthy away from devotee association. Does that mean that they are stronger? No.
We have to see the overall performance of Krishna consciousness that a person is doing. So sometimes it may happen that a person actually may need one’s own space. And that is a valid human need.
And that is also something which is spiritually accepted because we are individuals and we would like to serve Krishna in our individual way. Our relationship with Krishna is our individual relationship. So that individuality is not to be suppressed.
And if we need a space to serve Krishna in our way as long as it is within the umbrella which Prabhupada has given us in accordance with Guru Sadhu Shastra then there is nothing wrong in seeking our own space. But the point is that it is not just the absence of devotee association that is a parameter for deciding our core conviction. We have to look at our overall commitment to the process of Krishna consciousness and try to understand the motivations for that commitment.
And then by these two things, by looking at the external commitments, that is one solid indication of our conviction. Because if I am convinced about something, naturally I will be committed to doing that. So if I am convinced that this road is going to take me to Pune and I want to go to Pune, then naturally I will go fast on that road.
If I am not convinced that that road is going to take me there, then naturally I will be going slowly because I am afraid I may have to turn back. So our commitment is one indicator of convictions. And then if our conviction is about Krishna consciousness and not about the material fruits that Krishna consciousness may give us that maybe we may get famous, we may get respected, whatever, then for that case we also have to look at our motivations.
Okay, this is the road to Pune, it will take me to Pune, but why would I want to go there? We want to love Krishna because that is our very nature. We want to love Krishna because that will please Krishna, that will enable us to contribute to society in the best possible way, that will bring out the best within us. And that is the way we will be eternally happy in a loving relationship with Krishna.
So our focus is to actually love, love and serve and get happiness through that. So we look at our commitments and our motivations, then we can reliably understand how strong our core convictions are. Not just physical location within devotee association or outside devotee association.
That will not be a very reliable parameter for judging our core conviction. Although that can give us some indication of the various motivations and which motivation plays a prominent role in our performance of Krishna consciousness.