If our nondevotee parents discourage our children’s enthusiasm for bhakti by calling it brainwashing by dangerous cults, how should we respond?

Transcript

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Hare Krishna. Question. My parents are.
Averse to my devotional service. And. When.
They meet their grandchildren. My children who are. Quite enthusiastic about devotional service.
And talk constantly about Krishna. They try to. My parents.
Discourage my children. By making. Allusions to dangerous cults.
That brainwash people. So. I want to respect my parents.
At the same time. I want to protect the faith. Of my children.
How should I balance. Between the two. Answer.
We. Always have a. Balancing act to do. When we practice.
Spiritual life. In the material world. With respect to our.
Duties to our parents. And our duties to our children. Our.
In one sense. Especially after one. Gets married and has children.
The responsibility towards the children. Is in one sense. Is more important.
Because. The children are the people. Whom we are responsible for directly.
We are going to shape their character. Our example. Our words.
So. If at all we have to. Make a choice.
Then our responsibility towards the children. Is more important. Certainly our parents.
We have a duty to them. But they are shaped in their own thoughts. And changing them is very difficult.
So. Although we would like to share. Krishna Consciousness with everyone.
It’s much more. Sharing. The opportunity for sharing Krishna Consciousness.
Is much more with our children. Than with our parents. Because the.
Children see us to a large extent. As authorities. Whereas the parents.
See us as. As children basically. Even if we have grown up.
So having said this. We can’t neglect our duty to our parents. So whenever there is something.
Which needs to be done. We can do that. But apart from that.
Apart from say. The necessary material obligations. That are required.
If it’s an issue of protection of faith. Then we can gently. But firmly.
Tell that. Tell our parents that. That this is the way.
We have chosen to live. And if there is a rational discussion. That is possible.
Then that is fine. But if the rational discussion is not possible. Then we may have to.
Agree to disagree on this. And then. Today we live in a democratic world.
So everybody has a right. To practice the beliefs that they want to practice. So.
If we communicate it gently. But firmly. They should be able to get the point.
And more importantly. Rather than focusing on these differences. Especially we can try to find out.
What are the intersection points. Between. Say our interests.
And our parents interests. That means. That if we are finding that.
When we are meeting with our parents. Or when a family member. Our children are meeting with our parents.
So at that time. The most important thing would be. To find out some.
Topic of discussion. Which is not necessarily. Anti devotional.
It may be non devotional. But which is also not. Provocative to the parents.
So we have our devotional activities. And there are non devotional. Which is not necessarily the same as anti devotional.
So. Now as devotees. Who would like to focus on Krishna.
Constantly. We may not want to talk about even non devotional activities. But.
Non devotional activities. Are not necessarily. Entirely bad.
It may be connected with family responsibilities. Or the well being of other family members. Or the general.
Situation of society. And things like that. So this sort of discussion is not necessarily anti devotional.
Although it may not be explicitly devotional. But finding out topics for discussion. Which.
In which we can present. A rational perspective. Without bringing in.
Krishna. At every point. Can help people.
See that. What we are offering. Is what the Krishna conscious culture.
Is not just rejecting. Mainstream society. In the name of devotion.
But is also. Fostering. Values.
Which are appreciable by. The standards of the mode of goodness. So.
Yes there are certain aspects of Krishna consciousness. That. Can seem to be world alienating.
Or world rejecting. But. Especially in terms of say.
The amount of time we spend on sadhana. Or the. Extent of commitment to.
Devotional activities that we practice. That might seem. A bit too extreme for some people.
But still devotees also do their material responsibilities. And overall. The practice of devotional service.
By most of us as sadhakas. Is done in the mode of goodness. And the mode of goodness can be appreciated.
Even by materialistic people. So. Finding out those things.
Within our. Life and our. Thinking and our discussions.
Which are in the mode of goodness. And focusing on those. Is a possible way.
To avoid conflicts. So. The.
Perception that. ISKCON is a cult which brainwashes people. Comes largely because.
We seem to be cut off from. Mainstream society. And don’t seem to talk about.
Anything other than Krishna. Or have anything to do with activities. Other than Krishna.
So this is not. Necessarily. The.
This is not actually the correct. Understanding of Krishna consciousness itself. Now in Krishna consciousness.
We don’t just want to drop out of society. To practice spiritual life. Rather we want to.
Also. Gradually elevate. The social consciousness of people.
Right. We want to gradually help people come to the mode of goodness. And most people.
Cannot appreciate transcendence. But they can appreciate goodness. So.
By finding out that intersection circle. Wherein. We can.
Wherein there are. Aspects of our life. And aspects of our.
Interest or discussion. Which are relatable. Preferably appreciable by our relatives.
And are also. In harmony. With.
The broad principles of Krishna consciousness. Not the narrow understanding of Krishna consciousness. That we just speak about Krishna constantly.
That is important. But if somebody is. A grahastha.
A person in the world. Yudhishthira Maharaj. Or other kings.
They also did their worldly administration competently. And when worldly administration was required. They would do worldly activities.
For that purpose. Ultimately the administration was serving Krishna. Glorifying Krishna.
But the point is. When a person is in the world. We have to largely live in the mode of goodness.
So especially when we are interacting. With our relatives. So finding out those aspects of our life.
Which are in the mode of goodness. And which are appreciable by them. And focusing on them.
Can minimize the conflicts. And gradually as they appreciate. The mode of goodness.
And they appreciate the. The positive effects. That have happened in our life.
And our behavior. By the practice of devotion. Then gradually they will start appreciating.
Devotion also. So in some cases. Presenting Krishna conscious principles.
Directly to others. May be counterproductive. So at that time presenting the mode of goodness.
Which is of Krishna consciousness. Can be a good way. To help people appreciate.
The process by which. We have. Been elevated to the mode of goodness.
And then when they understand. That this is the process. Then they will gradually.
Become more open minded towards the process. And then understand that the process takes us. Beyond goodness.
So for example. Peace, stability, calmness, clarity. And ethos of.
Humility. Tolerance. Sensitivity.
All these come. By the practice of devotional service. Because it brings us to the mode of goodness.
So focusing on the mode of goodness. Can help to avoid this perception of. Of cultishness.
And of course. As I said that. If in spite of that.
There is still the conflict that happens. Then. Then we certainly have to.
Make choices. Where we have. Protecting the faith of our children.
Will be more important. But as much as possible. We can try to do a balancing act.
And not ourselves act as provokers. By not. By avoiding present focus on.
Those features of Krishna Consciousness. Which. Provoke others.
And focusing on those features which. Enable people to. Appreciate the.
Materially. Elevating aspects. The mode of goodness aspect of Krishna Consciousness.
Thank you.