If traditional cultures aren’t against love why are love marriages banned in ISKCON?

Answer Podcast

Transcript

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Okay If traditional cultures are not against love marriage Why can’t we have them in ISKCON? Well, I don’t think there is any law banning love marriages in ISKCON The point is that I don’t think there is any law like that Nobody can make a law like that also We are not like a police state Where people are going to be punished The point is that There is this whole phase of There are psychologists who have examined the psychology of love And they found that romance on average has a bench life of two years What that means is that when two people are attracted to each other It’s primarily a hormonal attraction And you feel like completely in fact I want to be this person This person is the be all and end all of my life You feel like that That feeling actually lasts for between a year to two years And then afterwards Gradually During this period, what happens is As they say, love is blind So, we don’t see whatever shortcomings might be there in the other person But afterwards, we start seeing that Initially, if we had placed the object of our love on a big pedestal And every small flaw that might be there That becomes like a hole from which that person keeps falling down from the pedestal The extent to which we have lifted that person up Afterwards, we bury them under the ground How could you do this? How could you be like this? How could you be like that? So, the point is not against love marriages or for love marriages The point is that decisions should be done thoughtfully, not impulsively So, even if somebody wants to pursue a relationship What is important is that you don’t act hastily Be patient, be thoughtful Let time pass, observe each other And then you can develop a relationship It’s not against love marriages It’s more against getting carried away By what we feel is love But may just be an initial infatuation So, there is definitely a need for warm relationships In whichever relationship we have And we need a culture which facilitates long-term good relationships