SB 8.3.29 As even my intelligence is conquered by illusion, I can do nothing but simply take shelter

Transcript

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Sri Bhagavatam 8.3.29 This is the last prayer that Gajendra offers.
And with this he becomes silent. And actually the prayer is completely successful because soon after this the lord appears and rescues him. So it is instructive to see what is the last thought in this prayer session.
In this emergency, high stakes, high emotion prayer session that Gajendra is having on the verge of death. So it is high stakes. It is a matter of life or death for him.
And yet, what is he doing at the end of his prayers? He is just admitting his ignorance and beseeching the lord’s mercy not by asking him for something specific. He is completing the prayer with simply an offer of obeisances. Mayam vedasamatmanam I do not know na ayam So he is saying people in general and he is including himself in the people in general.
Swamatmanam They do not know their identity. Yashatyaham dhi ahatam So by whose intelligence, sorry by whose power, by whose influence, yashatya Aham dhi ahatam So Prabhupada is saying aham means nissimohum yam aham mameti We think that I am independent, I am supreme. Aham dhi ahatam So the intelligence is destroyed.
The intelligence is meant to make us to help us to surrender to God. But the intelligence pulls us asunder away from God. And that is the tragedy of the conditional soul.
And this is also happening by the energy of the Lord. So he is saying that my dear Lord your maya is so powerful that by your influence, by the influence of your maya dhi ahatam The intelligence is torn asunder away from you. Tam duratyaya mahatmyam Your glory is difficult to understand.
Duratyaya, this word is used in 7.14 in the Bhagavad Gita also. When Krishna says it, mam maya duratyaya So Krishna is telling tam duratyaya And interestingly he is not using the word maya, he is using that mahatmyam. So even the glory of maya is the glory of Krishna.
So how is that? The power that is meant to keep us away from Krishna as long as you don’t have a devotional attitude, sincere devotional attitude towards him. That power is so thorough As Prabhupada says in his lectures on queens of Kunti that maya doesn’t want Krishna to be disturbed by souls who want to make demands and interfere with his pastimes. Maya will allow only those souls to go to Krishna who want to assist in Krishna’s pastimes.
So if an exam has a very good screen test and nobody can pass the exam very easily then that is also a glory of the exam setter and that ensures the caliber of the students who pass that exam and go through it. So similarly the maya acts like the screening agent and the thoroughness of our screening ensures that the spiritual world is a place of the highest quality of the sweetest and the purest love and you understand that my dear lord this maya I will not be able to overcome it is only by your grace if you allow then you will be able to help me overcome this maya so I don’t know what is really good for me should I ask for liberation so that I can continue this life and serve you or should I ask for liberation entirely from material existence so that I can come back to you you know what is best for me my dear lord and therefore I offer myself to you and bhagvantam itosmiham itosmi means I take shelter I surrender to you itosmiham so generally this is how our prayer sessions to Krishna can conclude my dear lord there are so many things I can do and many of them are wrong many of them are right but there are many which are unclear I simply surrender to you, you please guide me I entrust my life to you I will chant in this mood my dear lord I want to serve you and not just do one or two services here and there but to entrust my whole life to you so that my entire existence becomes a offering of service to you and for that I offer myself to you through this chanting this chanting is a prayer so that my life itself can become a life of service