Value Education and Spirituality 21 – Ramayana 3 – Dasharatha – Honor one’s word even at great personal cost

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
Welcome back to the valued education and spirituality series. We are discussing about the Ramayana. So today we will discuss about the principle of honoring one’s word.
Now what does honoring one’s word mean? It means that if we tell someone that I do it, I should do it. In today’s parlance, it is often referred to as over promise and under promise and over deliver. If you promise something, you should do it.
If you’re not sure, then better to promise less. And then if you can do more, do more, exceed expectations like that. So now, why is it important to honor one’s word? And in what situations should one honor and what should one excuse oneself? Let’s look at the Ramayana.
Now, long ago, when Dashrath Maharaj was in mortal danger while fighting for the gods, at that time, Kaikeyi had courageously, acting as his charioteer, rescued him. Now, she was a Kshatrani, she was the wife of a Kshatriya, daughter of a Kshatriya. She was herself heroic in her own way.
And what she did was an extraordinary act of courage. She saved Dashrath Maharaj’s life and he was so pleased with her. He said that I will give you two balloons, whatever you want, ask for it.
Now, at that time, the love between them was strong. So, because the love between them was strong and Kaikeyi said that actually, I don’t want anything now. If ever I need anything, I’ll ask you later.
And under the influence of mantra, Kaikeyi asked Dashrath that give me two balloons, send Ram to the forest for 14 years and let Bharat become the prince regent and eventually the king. Now, when Dashrath heard this, what he was speaking, he first thought, is he joking? But this was such a serious thing, such a horrible thing, nobody would make a joke of such a thing. And as he realized that this was worse than his worst nightmare come true, he fainted.
He realized that Kaikeyi was completely fixed in her evil determination and nothing could do. So, he swooned. Normally, swooning is often seen as a sign of effeminity, weakness.
And Vairayal, Kshatriya warrior never swoons. But Dashrath was so devastated, like a thousand thunderbolts striking him. He got up, he came back to consciousness and he saw Kaikeyi looking down at him gravely, with not concern, but with evil obstinacy on her face.
And he realized that what he had just heard was not a nightmare which was going to end. Again he begged to Kaikeyi. He did all that he could to try to persuade her.
He even fell at her feet and said, please, how has Ram offended you anytime? He loves you like his own mother. What mother can ever send her son to a forest like this? So, even if Ram has offended you in some way, you are like his mother, forgive him. How can you tolerate sending him off to a forest like this? And he saw none of his protesters were registering on her.
He made at least one request. He said, okay, if you want your son to be the king, fine. Let him become the prince, let him become the king.
But don’t let Ram go out of the forest. I will not be able to live without Ram. Please let him stay.
Kaikeyi said. Kaikeyi was unaffected. Actually, she had been so totally poisoned by Mantra that she was unmoved.
She said, you have made a promise to me. Oh king, will you go back against your promise? Where is your Kshatriya honour that you are giving it up for some sentimentality? Now, the king was not sentimental. It was a matter of his heart.
And it was not Dashrath who was being sentimental. It was Kaikeyi who was being monstrously insensitive. There is sentimentality and there is sensitivity.
Sentimentality means one just lets all of one’s decisions be determined just by some sentiments. Sensitivity means one is aware of other’s emotions. One is aware that others may be hurt by certain things and one wants to minimize the hurt of others.
So just like when a doctor is to do surgery, the doctor says, oh, the surgery will cause pain to the patient. So I’ll not do the surgery on you. That is sentimentality.
Doctor may have to do the surgery to save the patient. But then the doctor, before doing surgery, doesn’t give anesthesia to the patient only. He tells the patient that you have got a disease, I have to cure you, so I have to do surgery, so bear the pain.
And when the patient is fully conscious, the doctor does surgery and tells the patient, don’t be a crybaby. Oh, that would be insensitive. There is pain over there and one has to minimize the pain as much as possible.
So sentimentality is different from sensitivity. Sentimentality is undesirable, but sensitivity is not only desirable, it is essential in human relationships. So selfishness had made Kaikai completely insensitive.
And now, Dashrath Maharaj begged everything, nothing worked. Now if you see, we may say that actually, Dashrath Maharaj could have just said, why did he have to be so attached to his word? I have to honor my word. He could clearly see that an injustice was being perpetrated and he should have refused to let the injustice happen.
He could have said, I will not fulfill your word. He could have said that. But the point is that Kshatriyas are kings and kings used to have tremendous power.
Now, even now, the prime minister or the president of the country has so much power and their prime minister presidents have tenures. During those tenures also, they have so much power. The king is normally a king for life and the king has enormous powers.
So how is the king protected from abusing the power? The Kshatriya kings in the past were trained in a culture of ethical and moral character based on a spiritual foundation. And one of those restraints on the Kshatriyas power becoming autocratic was the Kshatriyas being trained to act honorably. Now acting honorably had many features, but one important feature of acting honorably was honoring one’s word.
So when a Kshatriya takes power, just like even now and the president takes, the prime minister assumes office and there is an oath of responsibility the prime minister takes. Now many times people may take this oath of responsibility without much sense of responsibility. They grab power and they use the power for filling their pockets.
But that oath of responsibility is meant to be very grave. So when the kings, they take up power, they actually give their word of honor to the sages, to their preceptors, to the citizens that they will protect them. The kings by their word of honor are become honor bound to do their duty.
Pride or arrogance is not very desirable. Arrogance means something that I am always right and I will just crush anyone who considers that I am wrong. But a sense of honor is very much desirable.
A sense of honor means that if I can’t respect myself, how can I expect others to respect me? And for me to respect myself, I should live in a respectable way. And living in a respectable way means honoring one’s word. So a sense of honor forces, in a very positive way, people to act honorably.
So for Kshatriyas, the sense of honor was very important. Now when we talk about Kshatriyas, it is not just by birth. It is by qualities, by virtues.
The caste division was there in the past. It was by birth. It was not by birth, sorry.
It was by qualities. As Krishna said, 4.13 in the Gita. So the important point is, the Kshatriyas would have a strong sense of honor.
And that sense of honor, which especially was expressed in terms of honoring their word, that would ensure that they would be honor bound to do the right thing. Even when the temptation for doing wrong would be there. So even when they have the power to say, they have the power in the position to exploit others, to abuse the privileges that they have, to misappropriate the resources that they have, the idea that I have to preserve my word of honor, that principle was drilled into them right from their childhood.
Now it was not just in India. If you look at history, whether it is British aristocracy, or Native American aristocracy, or Russian aristocracy, in all these aristocracies, the principle of honoring one’s word was considered very important. Now, of course, there were always exceptions who would not honor their word.
That is always there. But the point was honoring one’s word was considered very important as a value. So now, it was for Dashruth Maharaj, a dharma sankat.
He had given his word to Kaikeyi, that I will fulfill two of your boons, whatever you ask for. And that was not just a sentiment. He had actually done something noteworthy at that time.
And that’s why he had said that I will do something for you. But even after saying that, now, he was not able to do that. He had a situation where he could not even conceive such a problem will come up.
So, what could he do? Now, there is the principle of honoring one’s word. And the purpose of that principle is to ensure that the right gets done. So, sometimes the principle, usually the principle and the purpose harmonize.
Sometimes the principle and purpose may not harmonize. So, Dashruth Maharaj tried in every possible way to ensure that injustice didn’t happen. He first told, he begged to his wife, he fell at her feet, he said that, let Ram stay.
Then finally he said, when Ram has to go out, then okay. Then he told that, okay, let Ram go. But let the treasury, let the resources, let the horses, let the elephants, let the soldiers, they will also go to the forest.
We will convert the forest into Ayodhya and let Ayodhya become a forest. And Kaikeyi can rule the forest. Ayodhya has become like a forest.
And actually the citizens cheered him. And Kaikeyi was so stone hearted. He said, oh king, don’t make a mockery of your words like this.
You had promised me Ayodhya for my son. Ayodhya means the full kingdom with all its resources. Ram will have to go out with nothing except his tree bark.
So, at that time, Dashrath got so angry. He realized that his wife was beyond reform now. And he said, I cannot dishonor my word.
I, because I come from a Kshatriya lineage, all of my ancestors have honored their word. I’ll have to honor my word. And I will do as you’ve asked me.
But because you are behaving so selfishly, I disown you. I reject you as my wife from today onwards. I have nothing to do with a woman as selfish as you.
These two vows which I have given you, I fulfill and our relationship ends here. And Dashrath Maharaj, as Ram was going out into the forest on his chariot, Dashrath ran after him and said, oh son, wait, wait, wait. He felt as if as Ram was disappearing into the horizon, he felt as if his life was ebbing out.
And now Mantra wanted, Mantra was the charioteer and he wanted to, Sumantra was the charioteer, not Mantra. Sumantra was the charioteer and he wanted to wait. Ram said, keep moving forward.
He said, if you slow down, it will only make things more painful for Dashrath Maharaj. Keep moving forwards, go faster. Now he said, but how can I obey my king? Disobey my king? Sumantra asked Ram.
He said, later if he asks, tell him you did not hear because of all the sound over here. Please, he said, don’t increase the pain for everyone by delaying this inevitable separation. And Sumantra went.
And as Dashrath started running after, he ran as fast as he could. And a chariot went away and Dashrath slipped and fell on the ground. And the whole kingdom was in tears at that time.
To see the prince being exiled and to see the king being reduced to slipping and falling on the ground. So, this actually is an incident which at one level we could say it shows Dashrath Maharaj’s weakness, but it also shows his great strength. His strength in honoring his word.
If today leaders would have a similar ethos of honoring one’s word, then we could have such a wonderful society, should have such a progressive society. All our office bearers, the politicians and others, they take vote and they assume power, they have a swearing-in ceremony. But how many of them actually have an ethos of honoring their word? If they would honor their word, corruption would practically not be there in India.
Now, we can’t blame others, but we can learn this principle of taking our word seriously and applying it in our life. Of course, we have to be careful when the principle of honoring the word doesn’t fulfill the purpose of honoring the word. That is an exceptional situation.
But the broader, more fundamental principle that we can learn is that even if things are painful for us, we should try as much as possible to honor our word. And that way, we will become stronger as human beings and we will lay the foundations for a stronger, ethically more vibrant and healthier society. Thank you.