Value Education and Spirituality 20 – Ramayana 2 – Rama – Go beyond fight or flight to choose the best response

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
welcome back to our value education and spirituality series, we will be discussing on the Ramayan and we discuss the principle of accepting versus retaliating some fascinating discussions between Ram and Lakshman that happened after Ram was exiled so now when Kaikeyi forced Dashrath Maharaj to send Ram to the forest at that time Ram accepted his father’s instructions but Lakshman protested and protested vehemently in fact as Ram and Lakshman were discussing Lakshman said that Ram you are the rightful successor, you deserve the kingdom and he became so angry he said actually the king has lost his intelligence because of lust so now of course Kaikeyi was his wife but still he said that he is becoming infatuated by her and because of that he has given up understanding of Dharma and therefore what he is doing is wrong and therefore you should oppose it he said let us declare a military coup against the king and I will ensure that you are enthroned as the king and anyone who stops you from being enthroned that person will meet death at my arrows even if that be the old king, Lakshman was so angry that he did not even refer to Dashrath Maharaj’s father so angry so Ram was very great, he said Lakshman such words won’t behoove you if the arrow that is to go through our father, it will have to go through my body and Ram spoke these words, Lakshman heard him and complained still he was angry, Ram continued, he said that today when I heard Kaikeyi speaking those words he said that Kaikeyi’s love for me was so pure, it used to flow like the river Ganga Lakshman was so angry, he said that’s what I can’t understand, how did the Ganga dry up overnight so Ram said yes, that’s why when I heard those words, I understood this must be the will of destiny this must be the will of destiny and therefore we have to accept it Lakshman said only cowards consider injustice and destiny and accept it courageous people fight against injustice and acquire their rights it is your right to be the king and you should fight for it Ram was unflappable he said what is right for me is to obey the will of my father it is not for me to evaluate why he is doing this, he is within his rights, he is the king and he can decide who will become the next king if he wants me to go to the forest I will do it so at this point Lakshman was so angry, he said how can you be passive like this so actually there are always these two strands of thought that have always been there throughout humanity, the names for them might have been different but these two strands of thought are one is we could call it in Sanskrit as Karamavad and Daivavad Karamavad is the idea that everything is in my hands and Daivavad is the idea that everything is destroyed, nothing is in my hands my luck is bad so now among these two there is always a conflict and which is right, which is wrong, is everything in our hands and we would like to believe that yes my success depends on me and me alone but is it true really we all know that we may study very diligently for exam but what if before the exam we fall sick and not able to go for the exam only, we go but we are so sick that we can’t answer the paper properly and we couldn’t perform well and so now sports is a game, sports is an activity which depends so much on performance now sports stars have to perform in the sporting arena to achieve success and yet there are so many sports stars who know who know that there is something beyond them that plays a significant role in determining results and different sports stars have different idiosyncrasies there is a tennis star who would consider the good luck charm wearing an earring only in one year there is a cricketer, batsman whenever he would go out to bat before going out to bat he would go to the pavilion, before going to the stadium he would go to the washroom and he would see whether all the commodes had their lids closed or not, he had this idea that if the lids of the commodes are closed then he will bat very well and sometimes he would get out very early when he would come back he would not go to the pavilion he would first go to the commodes, the washroom and see if any commode lid was open and if any commode lid was open he would go and blast the other team members, why did you keep that open and now it is so crazy, we may say that what is the commode lid being open or closed got to do with the batsman’s performance and this batsman was not a fool not a superstitious person, he would practice also he was a good batsman and he would work hard at his game there was another famous all rounder he would always have a handkerchief partially out of his pocket right pocket generally and he would think as long as the handkerchief was there in that particular place he would perform very well and if any time he would not perform well he would check whether the handkerchief was fallen off or got displaced so we may say logically there is no correlation between a earring or a commode lid or a handkerchief and a player’s performance but these are all ways means by which these players are acknowledging that there is something beyond them which determines their performance and they are somehow trying to appease that so whatever it is that is beyond me let that work out harmoniously so that I will be able to perform so the point is all of us just by living in the world for some time can recognize that there are factors beyond our control also which determine the results so that does not mean that our endeavours are not important our endeavours are also important but there are factors beyond our endeavours also which are important our endeavour is karma the factors beyond our control is daiva and when karma and daiva both come together then we get the result so for example in farming the farmers sowing the seeds and ploughing the land that is karma the rains coming is daiva and when both of them come together then we get the phala so that the crops come out so now basically the conflict between Ram and Lakshman is a conflict between is apparently between these two schools of thought that Ram is saying oh it must be destiny so we should accept it Lakshman is saying no use your rights fight for the rights now what is actually true then Ram says that I am not saying that we should accept things because it is destiny I am saying what is our duty what is my duty he said that my duty my duty is actually to obey my father and now Ram such a stunningly positive perspective to the whole situation he said that actually let me think is my father happy about doing this is my father selfishly motivated in asking me to do this I could see from the look on my father’s face he was grief struck he is doing this not because he gets some sadistic joy in causing pain to me he is doing it because he has to honour his word he has to honour his word he had given his word to Kaikeyi and he is honouring it so I by obeying my father am helping him to honour his word so in this way I am increasing his own and I will be pleasing my mother Kaikeyi this is what she wants for her happiness and I will be able to serve her this way and along with that you know what older brother doesn’t want to see the joy of his younger brother that I can see during my lifetime my younger brother living as a king such an occasion of joy for me I will gladly accept it and for me actually for most people we all know that our ultimate goal is to get spiritual wisdom and to attain spiritual perfection but for most of us we are so caught in our worldly duties that we hardly get any time for cultivating spiritual wisdom generally after people have done all their household activities after then when they grow old then they get time to meet with sages talk with sages and learn from them but I am so fortunate that in my youth itself I will be able to stay for 14 years in the forest and I will be able to converse with the sages there, I will learn spiritual wisdom from them and I will be able to live in a setting which is so conducive for gaining spiritual knowledge, in this way I see nothing but positivity I am helping my father gain punya and seeing the prosperity of my brother and bring happiness to my stepmother and I am increasing my spiritual virtue so what reason is there for me in such a situation to consider anything as terrible as an uprising there is no need for this Lakshman let us make the best of what we have got we find that it is good for us so when Ram spoke so persuasively Lakshman realized that Ram was not just being passive Ram accepted and thought deeply about everything and he had arrived at the right course of action based on deep consideration and then Lakshman begged, please let me also come with you this is the extent to which his heart was changed and how was that heart changed because Ram took things positively so when we face adversities in life there can be two extreme reactions when apparent injustice happens to us one is that we think we start feeling self pity feeling sorry for ourselves life always gives me a rotten deal and my luck is bad we start wallowing in self pity feeling sorry for ourselves that’s a very negative reaction and the other extreme is that we just furiously retaliate against the person who we think has caused injustice to us and such retaliation often makes things far worse it often hurts us and hurts others and actually it makes a complete mess of the situation so what should we do at such a time now there is capitulating or retaliating but there is these are not the only two options there is a third option and that is persevering on the path of righteousness on the path of Dharma calmly considering what is the best thing to do best thing for me, best thing for others and once we decide to do that see not the adversity see the opportunity see the positivity and do that activity when one does this then whatever negative things may happen even for a person that person can still find the positive lessons in life and can learn those positive lessons and move onwards in life with positive lessons that’s why the important thing is always not to get into this mode of fight or flight Lakshman’s intention was fight it back and he was thinking that what Ram is doing is flight or just passively accepting things but Ram’s response was neither fight nor flight it was think deeply and then choose the best course of action and that is what we can also rather than fight or flight think, deliberate and then decide what is the best course of action Thank you.