What to do when our vertical and horizontal relationships are not symbiotic?
Answer Podcast:
Transcript
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So, what if the horizontal and the vertical are not symbiotic? Horizontal, sometimes, other people don’t appreciate our spiritual side. Yeah, and I said that, horizontal and vertical can be symbiotic. And when they are symbiotic, that is most fulfilling.
But it is not necessary that they will always be symbiotic. And in such a situation, we all have to make choices in our life. Whatever we are pursuing, if we, say, if we pursue a particular career, some of our relatives may be happy, some of our relatives may not be happy.
So, once there was a court case between a mother and a father. It’s an Indian setting. We may not apply entirely here.
But the mother wanted their son to become a doctor. And the father wanted the son to become an engineer. And both of them had come to court.
And then the judge said, why do you have to come to court? Just ask your son. He said, no, we can’t ask our son. Why not? He is not yet born.
So, the son is eventually born. And the son may choose one career. So, the son may choose one career.
Say, the son becomes a doctor, the father may be displeased. So, we, the easiest way, even if we are not spiritual, even if somebody is just living a materialistic life, still, the easiest way we can make ourselves miserable is by trying to please everyone. We are finite beings.
It’s not that we want to go out intentionally to hurt others. But we are finite beings. And we cannot please everyone.
So, we have to be true to ourselves. We have to understand who we actually are. What are the values that we want to mold our life according to.
And then, we have to make decisions based on that. It’s not that we should be hard-hearted or insensitive. And it’s not that because we are pursuing a spiritual relationship, we are trying to have a vertical relationship, because of that, some of our horizontal relationships have some problems.
No. If we try to do anything in life, trying to do anything purposeful in life will require us to make certain decisions, to set certain priorities, and then put certain things in the background. So, like that, some relationships which are not congenial for our spiritual growth, we may have to distance ourselves from them a little bit.
So that we can pursue our purpose. This doesn’t mean that we should be insensitive, but we should just be prioritized. And by being purposeful in a spiritual sense, we are not necessarily neglecting or rejecting those relationships.
We are simply prioritizing what we want, what is important for us. And in due course of time, even those of our relationships in which we may have distanced a little bit, others will see that, okay, by becoming spiritual, this person has become a better person. More understanding, more tolerant, more kind.
And eventually, the relationships do improve. So, whenever we make any change, people may get a little disturbed. Why is the change happening? And often, people have suspicion that this may harm us, this may hurt us.
So, because of that, they, out of their good intentions, may oppose us. But over time, if they see that the change within us is for better, then their reservations will go away and the relationship will become stabler. So, we need to be purposeful, but while being purposeful, we shouldn’t become insensitive.
So, if we keep ourselves sensitive at the same time, we have our priorities right, then gradually the horizontal relationships will settle at a level that will be sustainable. At a level of intimacy, at a level of closeness that is sustainable. Some relationships will be more close, some relationships will be a little more formal, some relationships will be a little more formal.
But they will all settle at a way which is sustainable for us. Does that answer your question? Thank you. Any other questions?