When senior devotees speak and act in ways that are uninspiring or disturbing how should we see and respond?

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
Question. Sometimes we find senior devotees speak and act in ways that are inspiring and even disturbing to our minds and our faiths. What should we do in such situations? Answer.
Firstly, we need to understand the difference between senior devotees and advanced devotees. We shouldn’t have a default assumption that just because somebody is senior, that person is automatically advanced. Certainly, if a person is senior, if a person has been in the movement for many years, then that person deserves our respect, just because that person is senior.
But at the same time, that doesn’t automatically mean that that person is advanced or that devotee can inspire us or guide us in our spiritual life. Why? If we consider ISKCON to be like an educational institute, then if we are going to enter into an institute, if you enter into an engineering college or IIT, and we need guidance about how to study, we want inspiration for how we can do well in our academics, then we won’t expect that every student from, say, the later years of the college, in the final year, is automatically exemplary student. We would naturally look at those students who are top performers, who are toppers, who excel in academics and seek guidance from them.
So if we understand this principle in normal academic life, then we need to extend it and apply it in spiritual life also. So now we may wonder that, does it happen that somebody can be in a spiritual institute and not make spiritual advancement? Certainly, we shouldn’t judge anyone about how spiritually advanced somebody is. That is not for us to judge.
When we judge, we are putting ourselves in a superior position and looking at that person down, as if that person can be evaluated by us. So we can’t do that to senior devotees. But while we cannot judge, we certainly need to discriminate or discern.
The word discriminate sometimes has negative connotations, say, for caste discrimination or race discrimination. But Srila Prabhupada uses the word discriminate in the sense of positive evaluation, he uses it in a positive sense as a discernment to understand, okay, this is beneficial for me, this is harmful for me. So firstly, I said that we can’t automatically assume that a senior devotee is advanced.
But the next question may come up, then do we evaluate every senior devotee to check whether he is advanced or not? No, we can’t do that. But what we can see is whether that devotee’s speech and behavior and overall conduct inspires us. If it doesn’t inspire us, if we find it agitating or discouraging in our spiritual life, then we understand that, okay, this devotee’s association is not favorable for my devotional life.
So a very fundamental principle of bhakti is anukulyasya sankalpa-pratikulyasya varjanam. Accept that which is favorable and reject that which is unfavorable. So this principle applies even within association with devotees.
We associate with those devotees whose words and actions are favorable, are inspiring for our devotional service. And others, we don’t disrespect them, but we don’t have to associate with all of them and spend too much time with them. We can respect them from a distance.
So why would it happen that certain devotees, we find their behavior or their words uninspiring or disturbing? One reason could be that they are just from a different culture. And that culture may be such that certain things are natural in that culture, but they are jarring for us. So a simple example is that, this may not apply to devotional circles directly, but when two people talk with each other, in different countries, the distance that is kept between two people while talking with each other is different.
Some people stand at several arms distance and talk with each other. And somebody who comes closer than that, people start becoming uncomfortable by that. On the other hand, if you keep a long distance from somebody and talk in certain other countries, certain other cultures, that is seen as a sign of excessive formality or superiority or even a sign of sneering, of disrespecting.
So now this is a very crude example, but this applies to many more circumstances. Some people may just from their past habit, have a habit of talking loudly. And we may have a feeling that this loud talking doesn’t behoove a senior devotee’s dignity.
But that’s just the culture that was normal for them. It may be normal in the way they were brought up. Bhakti certainly redirects our heart’s desires to love Krishna.
But that doesn’t mean that the aspects of culture will necessarily change. We obviously understand that if somebody was born in an African-American family and had a dark complexion, by practicing bhakti, it’s not that that complexion is going to become white. We understand this very easily.
But then if that same person was brought up in a particular way, with a particular upbringing, will that change by the practice of bhakti? That may or may not. And even if it doesn’t, that doesn’t necessarily mean that the process of bhakti is not acting in that person’s life and that person is not advancing. But just that culture may seem inappropriate for us, may seem undignified for us.
So that could be one reason why we find that the devotees are not behaving in proper ways. Another reason could be that our nature doesn’t match with that senior devotee’s nature. We very easily understand this point when we are associating with our equals.
We understand that, OK, with this person I can get along, with this person I can’t get along. So actually, different people have different natures. And this difference of natures will apply even with senior devotees.
Sometimes it may happen that certain devotees have certain natures that we don’t find inspiring. So if that is the case, then we need to associate with those senior devotees who inspire us, whose nature we can get along with nicely. So, in fact, the scriptures, Bhakti Samya Sindhu also talks about it, Bhavatam also hints at it, that we have to associate with Sajatiya Asha Sangha, associate with those devotees, Sajatiya Asha.
Asha is desire. Sajatiya is the same category of desires. That means, same category of desires basically means that they, for example, if a devotee is interested in studying scriptures deeply and then the other devotee, another senior devotee, there is only focus, that devotee has spent 35 years doing book distribution.
And then if we go and ask that person philosophical questions, maybe that person will just dismiss us by saying, why are you being so over-intellectual like this? You don’t make spiritual advancement by asking questions. You have to render a service. Go out and distribute books.
All your questions will get answered. Now, in principle, it is true that service also gives answers to questions. But then along with Sevaya, there is Pariprasthane also in 4.34 in the Bhagavad Gita.
But that, so here is an example of incompatibility. In fact, this whole website with all the question answers, some people consider it just a waste of time. And they have a particular conception of Bhakti, which is not necessarily wrong.
So naturally, such people will not find this kind of endeavor worthwhile. That is fine, if there are people like that. Because we need to understand very clearly that even within spiritual life, different devotees have different definitions of success.
And Srila Prabhupada acknowledged different definitions of success also. When Srila Prabhupada would write to or talk with book distributors, he would say that there is no service more important than book distribution. Then he would go to New Vrindavan and there the devotees were developing a farm community.
He says there is no service more important than developing this farm community. So then if some devotees would ask how should we worship the deity, Prabhupada says there is no service more important than deity worship. Now what does it mean? Is Prabhupada just making statements casually here? Prabhupada says there is no service more important than this.
But that doesn’t mean that there are not other services equally important as that. So Srila Prabhupada saw that these devotees are involved in a particular project and he recognized that that is the definition of success for them. So for book distributors, the definition of success is book distribution.
And Prabhupada encouraged them, this is a very important service. There is no service more important than this. But that doesn’t mean there are other services as important as that.
There are. So a simple way to understand Sajati Asha Sangha is, if we have a particular set of things that inspire us in our spiritual life, if we have a particular definition of success in our spiritual life, of course it is not our own musical definition of success, but what we have found inspiring and what is also based on scripture and what we have confirmed with some of our devotee guides, then we have to see those other devotees who have the same definition of success that we are cherishing. So those devotees who are interested in building temples, they may not be interested in discussing very intricate philosophical questions.
So among senior devotees, we have to check those devotees who have the similar definition of success as we have. And that association will find inspiring. So first reason was culture, there might be differences in culture.
Second is there might be differences in nature. By nature I am talking about here, there are different definitions of success within devotional life. And another reason could be that not all devotees are by nature counselors or mentors for others.
So they may not just, they may speak something casually and they may not really recognize what is going to be the consequence of certain statements and certain people. They may feel that I am just sharing what I have read from the scriptures, which is fine at one level, but you also have to check what is the effect of that. That’s why all of us need spiritual guides, either a counselor or a mentor in some way, some senior devotees who can be our primary sources of spiritual inspiration.
And then along with that, we can also associate with other devotees. So it might just be that some devotees, because they have been doing other services, they have not necessarily been in the service of guiding or instructing or mentoring or counseling others. So they may not really think about what is the effect of a particular statement on some people, on some young devotees.
And that’s why they may speak some things. Beyond that, of course, it is unfortunate that there are some people who are disgruntled for whatever reasons with ISKCON and they may feel sidelined or they may feel whatever, neglected or whatever. And then they may take out some bitter feelings against the movement, against the movement’s managers and leaders and they may speak those things.
So the internet is filled with a lot of blasphemy like that. So now blasphemy may be a strong and broad word for a wide variety of things. And some of these may not directly come out as blasphemy, but it might just be criticism.
And it might even be constructive criticism in some way. But there is a proper forum for constructive criticism. When in traditional Indian culture, if the elders of a family had some differences of opinion and they would not vent it out, they would not quarrel with each other in front of the younger members of the family.
Or for that matter, if a mother and father have some differences of opinion, normally they should not quarrel in front of their children. This was simple traditional culture that was there not just in India, certainly in India, but everywhere else also it was understood. So even if there are some grievances against the management and the leaders of ISKCON, there is not really much use, constructively speaking, by just speaking out in public.
Now somebody may feel that we speak privately with people, but nothing happens. Because nothing is happening, so we will speak publicly. Well, but what happens by speaking publicly? Does the problem get solved? Either we can be models or we can be critics.
That means somebody else is doing something and we feel that is wrong, so we start criticizing it. But instead of that, if we try to become models and we try to do the right thing, then there are people who will become inspired by us. So it is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness.
So therefore, if we find that some senior devotees are doing like this, we offer them respects, but if they are not inspiring for us, then we offer that respect from a distance. And if we search a little bit, we will find senior devotees also who will inspire us. So that way we can continue on in our devotional life by getting inspiration in the society of devotees and not controversy or disturbance of faith.
Ultimately, we need to remember one thing very clearly that ISKCON as a movement is like Krishna. And Krishna’s principle is described in 4.11 in the Bhagavad Gita, As all people surrender unto me, I reward them accordingly. So if we come to ISKCON for controversy, we will get more controversy than what we want in the material world.
So if we are looking for associating with devotees who are going to speak controversial things, we will get that. If we are looking within the association of devotees for blasphemous things, we will get that. If we are looking for just prachalpa, we will get that.
So now we may say I am not looking for that. Yeah, senior devotees are not looking for that. But if we are not careful about what we are seeking, then we may end up with this.
So we have to, if we come to ISKCON, if just as the Vedic literature or Krishna himself is Kalpataru. So if we go to Krishna for getting Krishna, then we will get Krishna. Similarly, if we come to ISKCON for the purpose of getting Krishna, for the purpose of getting Krishna bhakti, making advancement in Krishna consciousness.
And then we observe from that perspective. Okay, what are the things that will inspire me in my Krishna consciousness? Whose association, which activities, what definitions of success? Then we will be able to make choices accordingly and then we will be inspired and we will make advancement. So ultimately, we have to understand that making spiritual advancement is our responsibility.
And just as if we went to a college and we associated in the college with students who were not so industrious. Now, with all due respects to different kinds of devotees, if some devotees are talking things that are not inspiring to others, then that is not really contributing to their spiritual advancement or other spiritual advancement. So now certainly they are devotees and they are practicing Krishna consciousness and respect them.
But they are in a sense, in a limited sense, like students who are in the final years of a college, but who are discussing a lot of things other than studies. So if I have come to the college for studying, then I have to find out those students who are studious. And by associating with them, I will get the inspiration for study.
So just as we understand that different people come to college for different things, the same will apply to the Krishna consciousness movement also. Now, does it mean that say that if we have senior devotees who are having some non-devotional behavior, does it mean that the process is not working? Is that a possibility? Because Krishna consciousness is not just our education, it’s also a process of transformation. And shouldn’t we expect senior devotees to be spiritually advanced also? Well, not everybody practices the process at the same level of intensity.
And just like if we want to win a gold medal in Olympics, if we look at all the people who failed, probably for every gold medal that is won in the Olympics, there are thousands of athletes who failed. So if we look at the failures, we will not get inspiration by that. We have to look at the successes.
Did the failures do something wrong? Whatever, that is not our focus of analysis. So we have to look within Krishna consciousness also. If you want to see the process of Krishna consciousness working, you have to look at those who have made that process work by working themselves in the process.
That means they have chanted, they have served, they have been dedicated to the movement in the mission of Srila Prabhupada and Krishna. So we take inspiration primarily from them. And by that we will make spiritual advancement.
So the process of Krishna consciousness does work, but the speed with which it will work will depend on the intensity with which we are following it. And as different people follow it with different levels of intensity, so sometimes there will be different levels of advancement that result. So therefore, it’s not necessarily that there is a fault in the process, because we can also see there are many Srila devotees who are very dedicated, very advanced, and they inspire us.
So we may not get that associated very freely because they will also be busy. But then whenever we get that, we cherish that. And we also cherish their example in the heart and try to emulate that in our own small ways.
And then by looking at the successes in the process of Krishna consciousness, we get inspiration. So therefore, even within devotee association, we do need to be careful to associate with those devotees who inspire us and to respect from a distance those devotees who don’t inspire us so much. Of course, this doesn’t mean that if some Srila devotees are responsible for us, are our guides, and sometimes they speak some things to correct us when we are going wrong.
Sometimes corrections can also be discouraging. But we are talking about this is an entirely different issue. Then if that devotee has a responsibility for us, and that is a benevolent devotee who is giving us valuable corrections, then we can take those corrections and we can try to improve ourselves.
But I’m talking here about general casual comment that some devotees make or just some behavior that devotees who are not really taking responsibly for us, which are advancement, what they speak and that discourages us. So we have to discriminate in the association of devotees and in general associate with those devotees who inspire us. Thank you.