Will becoming spiritually advanced automatically resolve our relationship problems?

Answer Podcast

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
Sometimes, when we practice bhakti, we may have excessive expectations, even our devotee relationships, and we may get frustrated by that. And, also it may happen that we may think that, better let me have a relationship only with Guru and Krishna. But, that is also a Kanishka level.
So, is it that by becoming advanced in devotion, becoming deeply understanding Bhagavatam, our relationship problem in this world will also be fixed? There are two different things over here. First is that the mode in which we approach the relationships in this world. In this world means with devotees.
And, the second is the nature of the world. See, the nature of the world is not going to change. Just because I have become a devotee, just as the Adhi Atmic Klesh or the Adhi Daivic Klesh, just because I am a devotee, if I live in an area where there are earthquakes, the earthquakes are not going to stop.
If it is cold, the cold is not going to stop. So, similarly, just as the Adhi Daivic or the Adhi Atmic Klesh, I am going to go old, I am going to get sick, it is not going to stop. Similarly, just by becoming a devotee, Adhibhauti Klesh will also not stop.
So, there will be incompatibilities in relationships. And, that is just the fact of relationships in this world. So, it is not that just by becoming advanced devotees, everything in this world will get fixed.
But, what happens when we become more and more absorbed in Krishna? When we become absorbed in Krishna, Kapildev tells Madhudevbhauti that then Tapanti Vimdhastapa, the miseries still torment us. But, Naitha Madhukate Chetasaha. But, because the consciousness of the devotees is absorbed in me, they don’t feel afflicted.
So, to explain this, suppose it is very hot and we feel the heat. But, then we come into an air-conditioned room. Immediately, we feel relief.
It is not that the outside heat has stopped, but we have come to a place where there is relief. So, like that, there will be anxieties, agitations. Prabhupada was a pure devotee.
Many times his godbrothers caused him a lot of distress. So, that can happen. But, as the more advanced we become, the more we learn to quickly seek relief by absorption in Krishna.
So, by absorption in Krishna, we get relief. Just like if it is hot, I come in an air-conditioned room. So, we learn, we train ourselves to bring our consciousness in the Krishna-conditioned atmosphere of absorption.
So, we ourselves need to practice bhakti proactively by observing what it is that I can easily absorb myself. Some of us may find that we can easily absorb ourselves in hearing. Others may be chanting.
Some may be kirtan. Some may be different kinds of services. We all need to individually find that out.
That is the first thing. So, relationships, there may be difficulties. But, we can seek relief.
And, as we practice bhakti, we get that relief faster when we are more and more connected with Krishna. And, secondly, with respect to over-expectations in relationships, actually, Rupa Goswami in Bhakti Rasamrita Sindhu states that we need not just sangha. He says we need sajatiya ashaya bhagwan bhakti sangha.
Sajatiya ashaya means those who are like-minded devotees. Sajatiya ashaya means, basically, those whose conception is sajatiya, is similar, of the same category. So, that like-minded association is extremely important.
Because, even within devotee circles, we find that different devotees consider different things important. And, suppose, we may spend hours and hours doing something very nicely. Say, I am primarily a writer.
So, I spend hours and hours writing something. And then, if I go to a devotee who is not interested in writing. And, I wrote this article on this subject.
That devotee may just say, Prabhupada has given everything in his books. There is no need for him to write anything. Yes, Prabhupada has given everything in his books.
But, Prabhupada told his followers also to write. But, if my sense of self-worth is going to come from such a devotee, then I will have zero self-worth. So, then I have to find out other devotees, who are also into writing, who appreciate writing.
Actually, if we want to do any service well, we have to go deep into that service. And, every service requires a lot of effort. So, only those devotees who are like-minded, in their association, we will feel valued.
We will feel connected. And, we will also understand. Okay.
The kind of problems that we face, they will understand us and we will say that, yes. Sometimes, a big problem in relationship comes when we feel, even if our problems are not solved, at least our problems are understood. But, if we don’t have like-minded association, then our problems are not even understood.
Our efforts are not valued. So, we have to, it is our responsibility to look for like-minded association. And, it is not that those devotees with whom we have less than pleasant experiences, they are not necessarily bad devotees.
No, they just have a different conception of practicing bhakti. And, it is, suppose some devotees, their whole focus is on distributing books. And, somebody else is focusing on building temples.
Now, both are important. Now, distributing Bhagwat books is important. Building temples is important.
Writing articles is important. Worshipping Deity is important. There are various ways in which we can serve Krishna.
In fact, bhakti is a house which has a million doors to it. There are so many ways in which we can serve Krishna. But, it is because all people are limited.
So, everybody cannot be expected to appreciate everything. So, if we are not appreciated in our particular circle of devotees, that is not necessarily a deficiency in that circle. We might just have some interest, we have to find out some other devotees, some other circle, where we get an appreciation.
And, we will find. By Prabhupada’s mercy, we have a big community. And, by technology’s mercy, we can connect with devotees in many ways now.
So, whatever way it is, we need to connect with like-minded devotees. And, it may take some time to find like-minded devotees. But, if we find it, we need to put in special effort to develop that relationship.
And, rather than seeing relationships as good or bad, we can put them in a set of concentric circles. Some relationships are very fulfilling for us. Some relationships, yes, they are nice.
Some relationships, they are tolerable. So, that’s how it is. It’s not necessarily that it’s because I am so fallen or because I am not advanced.
It’s just different people are different. And, you can’t change that reality. So, we need to find out.
Now, when I said we have to find out a social circle where we have like-minded devotees, that does not mean we reject our existing circle. Sometimes, we may feel that, you know, yes, I want relationship with devotees. But, you know, the devotees around me are very conditioned.
You know, they create so much trouble. So, I will associate with pure devotees. Yes, now, I will associate with people who are perfect.
But, the problem is, this is an imperfect world. So, we will not find anywhere a circle of perfect people. And, even if we found a circle, you know, we would not gain entry in it.
Till we become perfect. And, how will we become perfect? So, we do try as much as possible to have good relationships in our present circle. But, we also should, we can be looking for like-minded devotees with whom we can have more fulfilling relationships.
Does it address your question? Thank you. Any other questions?