Bhagavatam 11.08.37 – Realizing that detachment is freedom, not deprivation, is blessing

Singing Pingala is expressing her realizations here and initially she was very disappointed that she did not get any customer for the night but thereafter she is now illuminated and she is thinking that we could use the word bankruptcy that she experienced that night in terms of no customer coming to her that this is actually a benediction of the Lord singing that certainly it is Bhagavan Preeto Bhagavan, the Supreme Lord is pleased with me Preeto now why should he be pleased with me I was living such a sinful life I don’t know singing something I must have done because of which in the past, because of which the Lord is pleased with me. And what is the manifestation of this pleasure? Nirvedo yanturashaya.
Nirvedo. Attachment. Yanturashaya.
Yanturashaya. That desire which is otherwise very difficult to give up. Yanme jatah sukhavah.
Me jatah by which? Sukhavah. The detachment from that desire which is very difficult to give up, that is awakened and that detachment has become the source of great happiness for me. Sukhavah.
So normally, so if somebody is an alcoholic and that person is deprived of alcohol, the alcoholic would feel very miserable. But if somehow, at that time, suddenly the desire for alcohol disappeared, that person realized that oh this desire is actually a shackle that is binding me. That just like a prisoner is pulled here and there by the shackles, is restricted and can be pulled by the shackles, similarly I am restricted and pulled by my desires.
And understanding this can actually make a lot of difference for the person because the person is at that stage completely caught in the shackles of that desire. So being able to break free from it is a source of great Sukhavah. Oh I was shackled and now I am free.
Normally addictions don’t go away like that but there is a moment of epiphany, of great illumination that happens. There are moments like epiphany that happen to all of us and this can happen even to an ex. So Pingala is alert enough to recognize that oh this freedom is this epiphany by which I have realized my imprisonment and by which more importantly I am feeling detached from the desires that were causing my imprisonment.
This feeling is the mercy of the Lord. Bhagavan Pritam. The Lord is pleased with me and that’s why he has restored this mercy in the form of detachment.
Normally if a salesperson is going to sell something and all day that person makes no sales, the person will be very dejected, frustrated. For Pingala it was like that. All night she got no customers and what happened next? She was initially dejected, frustrated but she suddenly got this profound realization and became detached.
Similarly for all of us if we don’t let ourselves be dominated by preconceived notions, preconceived definitions of mercy, preconceived conceptions of mercy, that means oh this is my plan and if this plan is fulfilled then that means Krishna is merciful to me. A drunkard may well think that getting a bottle of liquor is mercy but is it really mercy when that bottle is simply going to perpetuate and aggravate the addiction? Now this of course is an example wherein we may say yes it’s very clear that the alcohol is increasing detachment but not all examples in life are so simple. There are examples in which a person may actually need, something may be very important and things may go wrong in that.
Yes it’s possible. The purpose of this example is not to say that things can’t go wrong and when they go wrong it’s not just a matter of individual disposition, it may be also about a grave external situation. But the point is that even when things go wrong, through them also Krishna can destroy his mercy in some extraordinarily inconceivable way.
To the extent we let our own expectations define our conception of mercy, then to that extent we keep ourselves unprepared to receive Krishna’s mercy in some other way when it comes. So now we can’t avoid having expectations, we can’t avoid having conceptions but we can avoid attachment to those expectations and conceptions. Yes Krishna as they would say that if it is your will, this is what I feel is the best for my service and if you so desire Krishna please let this happen but if you have some other plan, please help me to understand it so that I can serve you accordingly.
If we have this attitude of submissiveness, of non-attachment to our expectations and conceptions then we can move onwards towards Krishna amidst the various difficulties in our life also