Can a homosexual become a brahmachari?
Thank you Hare Krishna question can a homosexual devotee become a brahmachari the questioner has requested to be anonymous he has asked I have been practicing Krishna consciousness for 4 years and I am now thinking of joining the brahmachari ashram and taking up training for that but the wall is that I am a homosexual so what are the pros and cons for a homosexual devotee to become a brahmachari in the brahmachari ashram answer ultimately everybody has sexual inclinations and the whole process of paranashram is meant to enable us to purify ourselves of the material attachments that center on sexual attraction so each of us has to find out what is the best way one can situate oneself so that one can eventually become purified now the brahmachari ashram and the grahastha ashram are both parallel tracks both have their pros and cons as far as the facility provided for making spiritual advancement is concerned now for a homosexually inclined devotee brahmachari ashram is much more problematic than for a for other devotees who are aspiring to brahmacharis because in the ashram normally people have attraction towards members of the opposite sex so the brahmachari ashram where one gets associated with other brahmacharis provides protection by providing like minded association, providing a safe physical and emotional distance from members of the opposite sex but for a homosexually inclined devotee it's extremely dangerous because one is constantly surrounded by the objects that may provoke one so therefore one has to be extremely cautious now when we consider the two tracks of brahmachari and grahastha ashram grahastha ashram may not seem at all attractive for a homosexually inclined devotee because a person doesn't feel attracted to the opposite sex so marriage in Krishna consciousness is between members of the opposite sex so one may not feel any attraction for the grahastha ashram and even if one gets married one may not be able to develop a proper relationship with one's wife and one may neglect the wife and call that as renunciation and detachment and consider oneself to be an advanced devotee because one is not attached to one's wife whereas actually one is simply using one's different sexual orientation as a justification for neglecting one's spouse and calling that as detachment so even the grahastha ashram can have its problems and because to some extent in the Krishna conscious society brahmachari ashram the renounced order is somewhat glorified as compared to the householder order so one may feel because of the relative unattractiveness of grahastha ashram from the point of view of the incompatibility of the partner and the relative attractiveness of brahmachari ashram because it is the glorified ashram one may want to choose the brahmachari ashram but it can create a lot of problems because if one is not able to control one's impulses then one may want to intentionally or even unintentionally act out one's inclinations in the ashram and it can lead to a lot of trauma and turmoil for other devotees who are subjected to this kind of actions so therefore it is best that one informs one's counselor or one's senior trustworthy devotee who is the brahmachari leader and of course one has to find a senior devotee who is understanding enough it shouldn't happen that a devotee whatever the sexual inclination may be it is not that the devotee has to be shamed for that we all have our conditionings and we all have to work out a way to deal with our conditionings so shaming an individual for the conditioning and speaking it out publicly about a particular person's sexual orientation is all extremely extremely undesirable and unbecoming to any Vaishnava or to speak of a leader of a Vaishnava community so therefore we have to find a senior devotee a brahmachari leader in whom we can confide and take the guidance of such a devotee about how one can progress so if one is so just as devotees with heterosexual orientations they also have to control the sexual urge and to the extent that they are confident of controlling the sexual urge to the extent they can join the brahmachari ashram similarly if one has been able to control one's sexual urge now we are talking about homosexuals here if one has been able to control one's sexual urge and one has been able to one is confident that even amidst provocation which are quite likely because we are because in the brahmachari ashram one stays in close physical proximity with many other devotees many other male devotees which can act as a provocation for a person so only if one is extremely one is very confident that one will not get provoked and one will not act out on one's impulses only then one should join the brahmachari ashram otherwise there are different ways in which things can be worked out one can talk with one's senior devotees and if one doesn't want to get entangled in the material world then one may choose to stay near a temple and stay alone and take a non-demanding job and focus more and more of one's energy on serving Krishna so that one is almost like a brahmachari one has some job which enables one to maintain oneself financially and one focuses one's energy on serving Krishna one can also try to attend the morning program and practice devotional service and in this way if one lives through one's youth and then just as when a person grows older past crosses 14 years then by that time one the body weakens the mind also starts seeing that all the promises of pleasure the body are offering are insubstantial and then as the urges decrease not just by the power of age but also by the power of devotional practice then one can then take the vanaprastha ashram so if one wants to avoid entanglement in material life then one can choose this way where one is staying near a temple but is not staying surrounded by other devotees because that may provoke one. One can stay almost like a brahmachari but this is exceptional situation because one is not living in the ashram nor is one getting married so this exceptional situation should not be chosen independently but it should be chosen in consultation with some senior devotee and one should gradually purify oneself and the important thing to remember is that the healthy reason for joining brahmachari ashram is a burning desire to share Krishna's message and to assist those devotees who want to share Krishna's message with the world the motivation of wanting to avoid material entanglement if that is what is motivating us to join the brahmachari ashram that is an okay motivation to start off but that cannot sustain us for very long so one has to introspect very carefully and if one can practice Krishna consciousness very intensely and by that practice one can have a steady track record for several years of not acting on one's sexual inclinations and thereby one feels confident and one's authorities also feel confident that one can overcome the inclination to act out even amidst provocations only then one should join the brahmachari ashram if somebody is not able to join the brahmachari ashram that doesn't mean that the person is deprived of the benefits of spiritual advancement that come in the brahmachari ashram ultimately spiritual advancement is not a matter of ashram it is a matter of the heart and if one is sincerely trying to serve Krishna and one is trying to focus as much time and energy as is possible in the service of Krishna then one will definitely make spiritual advancement whatever be the ashram that one is situated in thank you.