FREE – 4 ways spirituality makes us better achievers

It is going to continue tomorrow. I will be talking based on acronym, FREE.

I will talk about what spiritual life has to offer us now. I started an incident. Last year I had gone to America.

I was giving a talk in Ohio State University. It was the devotees run a bhakti yoga club in which they have a vegetarian society. We teach vegetarian cooking over there.

So, usually they just have cooking and live discussion. But when I had gone there, occasionally they have proper classes. There I spoke about mental diet.

Just as we have physical diet, our mind also takes in impressions. And I was looking at how in today's world, there is a lot of negative mental input that comes from all directions. And if we are not discerning, then this negativity will choke us.

Even to the point that people can self-sabotage themselves. Act in ways that are self-repeating, self-destructing. I quoted WHO statistics of how 1 million people every year commits suicide.

This figure of 1 million is more than the number of people who are killed in murders, in terrorist attacks and wars combined together. That means more than the number of people who are being killed by others are the number of people who are killing themselves. WHO calls suicide a tragic social health problem.

There are no known cures for it. So intervention at the earliest possible time is the best thing that can be done. So after this talk, a young boy came to meet me.

And he told me that just before the class, he had been contemplating suicide. And then he said that after hearing the class, he understood that it was not he who wanted to commit suicide. It was his mind which was prompting him.

He said, yes, there had been some relationship that had gone wrong. He had not done so well in the exam. And some things had gone wrong.

But he gained perspective and he realised that this is not something worth living one's life for. So actually, I'll talk today primarily about the mind and how the mind misdirects us. And how our spiritual practises can help us protect ourselves from such misdirection.

Normally, there are different ways in which you will be introduced to spiritual life. So I was born and brought up in a Brahmin family. But I was never really very religious.

Nominally, some religion was there. The first monk I met was a scoundrel. 20-25 years old, I never met any monks.

So my introduction to Krishna consciousness was not so much cultural as it was intellectual. Most of you know about GRE, it's an exam to go abroad, go to America, basically, for higher studies. So my dream in life was that I wanted to be the topper.

And I was always among the toppers, but I was more of a dirt topper. Joined first, second, third, but there were unique folks. So then I did GRE.

And I liked English language from my childhood. One of my hobbies was just to take a dictionary and memorise words. So that helped me at that time.

And then when I did GRE, I got 2350 out of 2200. So I was not just first in my college, I was first in the history of my college. And not just first in my college, I was actually first in the whole state.

I thought at that time, all my dreams have come true now. So for me, GRE was not so much the idea that I wanted to go to America, that was secondary. I just wanted to get achieved.

And then, yes, it was elation, great joy for some time. And after that, I noticed that whenever I would meet someone, I would be waiting, when is this person going to congratulate me? And if someone did congratulate me, I would feel agitated. Doesn't this person know what I have achieved? Or is this person envious of me? And I realised one point, that actually, after topping GRE, I had become more dependent on my happiness on others.

So whenever I would meet someone, if that person wouldn't congratulate me, I would be dissatisfied with myself. And at that time I started thinking, is this what I was aspiring for throughout my life? And the next thing that happened is, somehow, GRE at that time was six times a year or something like that. So just six months after I gave my GRE, third year of engineering, first semester, mostly people give in the second year, second semester or the fourth year first semester for going abroad.

Then about six months later, some other student, he gave GRE from another college, not my college, and he got 20 to 60. And when I came to know, the first thought that came in my mind is, I'm going to give GRE again and I'll get 20 to 70 this time. So I'm thinking, what is this? That I worked so hard, I achieved something, and even with that I'm not satisfied.

And again after achieving something, I just go away. And the next thing, I can give another exam, I may become a doctor, some satisfaction is there for some time. After that again, I'm gone.

So is there something that can give lasting satisfaction? Two things I felt from this. First is that I was becoming dependent on others for happiness. So was there a source of happiness which is not dependent on others? And secondly, that I was happy because I was an achiever, but then suddenly, someone went ahead and became an achiever.

Better than me. So was there something that I could achieve, which would always stay with me? Something, that means some source of happiness, which would not be dependent on externals, and something which would stay with me. And that was the time, one of my friends, he had become a devotee and he gave me the Bhagavad Gita.

And then I read the Bhagavad Gita, and then I understood about spiritual happiness. So I read 6.22 in the Bhagavad Gita, where Krishna says, यं लध्वा चापरं लाभं वन्यते न धिकंततः यस्मिस्तितो खेन भुरुनातु चायते Krishna says, he's talking about the stage of Samadhi, of spiritual absorption. And he says, what happens at that stage? यं लध्वा, having achieved this, चापरं लाभं, another higher gain.

Higher gain. यं लध्वा चापरं लाभं वन्यते न धिकंततः One feels that there is no gain greater than this. Normally, whatever we achieve in this world, one is to have something more to achieve.

And second thing, यस्मिस्तितो खेन भुरुनातु चायते Once you have achieved this, once you are situated in this position, भुरुनातु चायते No matter how great misery may come in one's life, भुरुनातु चायते So, that means, Krishna is exactly talking about a thing that, we have a happiness, which will not make us crave for something more, something less. Once we have it, we will crave for everything else. This is the state of spiritual absorption in Krishna.

Because absorption does not necessarily mean that we have renounced the world. It simply means that we commit our whole life to Krishna. So, my introduction to Krishna Consciousness through yoga, was more through my own journey, and then primarily to the philosophy of the nutrients.

I have been to Pune, I have been to Mumbai, and we also have, I was connected with, I was mentoring a group of students, young children, who were all combination of old children. And one of the things I noticed at that time is, there is a big difference when the introduction is cultural, and when the introduction is intellectual. So, for most of your parents were devotees before, or are devotees now? All of you, or most of you? So, your primary introduction is cultural.

That's a culture which you bring up. It's fortunate in many ways, if you don't have all the garbage in the head that I have to clean out. But still, when the introduction is cultural, then, there is often, the decision to choose a path oneself, is not taken.

It more or less happens automatically. And because of that, we may not be adequate. We may not be adequately convinced.

And in today's world, nobody, in today's world, nobody can go on, for very long, on second-hand ideas. Second-hand idea means, somebody else tells you, do this, do that, do that. So, if somebody else is telling, and we are doing, we cannot continue that for very long.

So, why is that? Because, we live in a culture where we are exposed to so many different kinds of ideas. So, we may learn a particular kind of worldview, in our home, but when you go to school and go to college, then, you learn about so many different ways of living. And different modes of thinking.

And naturally, that creates some sort of indifference. Should I be doing this? Should I not be doing this? And, if we are to continue, then, what was our inherited culture, we need to accept it as our chosen culture. The inherited part, at some point in our life, has to become our chosen part.

And, what will make the transition from something being bequeathed or given to us, and something accepted by us, is our own intelligence. So, in the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna, at the end, after completing the Bhagavad Gita, in 18.63, he says, भून्रिष्येत अशेषेन ते थेच्यसि तखा कुरू देलिव्रिव दीत्मिज़ा And then, decide what you want. So, Krishna is not calling for blind faith.

He is saying that, you use your intelligence, understand what has been spoken, and then you decide what you want. So, the Bhagavad Gita reveals the vision of God, who respects human intelligence and human independence. Respects human intelligence.

Yes, you can understand it. You can yourself deliberate. And then, you have to decide what you want to do.

So, with the same approach, most of the time, when our introduction to Bhakti is cultural, at that time, we see it more in terms of a certain set of activities that we do. We go to a temple, chant the holy names, then we do some kirtans. And these are all, yes, they are definitely part of Bhakti, but Bhakti is something much deeper.

Bhakti is essentially a relationship. It is a relationship with God, with Krishna. So, if you have to consider our life journey, in terms of Bhakti, it simply means that, what we are, is God's gift to us.

What we become, is our gift to God. What we are, we all have certain abilities, certain talents, certain interests. So, what we are, that is God's gift to us.

And, what we have, what we do with it, what we become with it. So, what we become, is our gift to God. So, this is the life of Bhakti.

Bhakti is not just about going to temple, or following some rules. How they play a role in this, I'll explain. Bhakti is, in that sense, it encompasses our entire life.

And, our whole life, becomes a way in which, we express our higher relationship with God. And in that connection, Krishna doesn't exist just in the temple, Krishna exists in our own heart. And He exists in our heart, as our greatest relation.

Krishna is not here to judge us. Krishna is not there to catch us when we do wrong. Krishna is there to catch us when we fall.

Catch us when we fall. Krishna is a coach. He is not a judge.

He is not a coach. He is there to help us. And the ways in which, our Bhakti can help us, I'll talk in these four terms.

F.R.E.E. How Bhakti makes us truly free. So, F is focus. Nowadays, we often use text messaging.

In the same message, we are using our cell phone to others. Now suppose, every time you want to send a message, if the cell phone started asking all the parameters, what font do you want to use, what font size do you want to use, what typography you want to use. If every single detail about the messaging we had to enter, then, so much time would go in that, that we would not be able to send the message.

And suppose, we had to do it each time. It would just eat away our time from constructing it. That's why, our cell phone comes up with many default settings.

Most of the times, we don't even need to know the default setting, or change the default settings. So, those default settings, enable us to work with the cell phone. In some special situations, we don't want to change the default settings.

But the default setting, enable us to get on with the real purpose of using the cell phone. If every single action that we do with the cell phone, if we have all the default options at that time. Suppose, you want to type, sometimes the same key, it can be ABCD, it can be 123, it can be uppercase, it can be lowercase.

See, every time you type a letter, if it is going to ask us, uppercase, lowercase, or one or some symbol, like that, you are not going to type anything. So, sometimes we have a very naive notion of freedom. Freedom means that I can do whatever I want.

But that is not necessarily true. If every morning we woke up, and we had every movement, whatever you want to do, we would get a choice overload. Choice overload means so many things.

So, we mean there is, there is a whole book written by a psychologist, it is called The Paradox of Choice. So, what this does, David Mayer, he says is that the more people have varieties in choosing, the more their anxiety increases. So, I will give three examples, please.

So, suppose we want to purchase a toothpaste. And as we go to a shop, and suppose there are 500 varieties available. If we have to choose one, it will take a good amount of time.

But, to take even more, suppose you go to a doctor. Now, normally, if say I have a stomach upset, and the doctor tells me, okay, you have got the stomach upset, you take this medicine. Then I just take the medicine, I have the cure.

But suppose the doctor tells me, okay, this stomach upset can be caused by either this, or this, or this. And it can be because of cause A, cause B, or cause C. And if cause A is there, then you can have the treatment of B, or E, or F. And if cause B is there, you can have the treatment of G, H, or R. If cause C is there, you can have the treatment of J, Q, or M. And if you have the treatment of B, these are the possible side effects. If you have the treatment of E, these are the possible side effects.

And like that you do the full test. Then you ask, so, what is your choice? Every choice brings with it responsibility and consequences and if we have too many things to choose, that freedom can be paralysing. So how am I as a patient supposed to decide which of the treatments to take? If the doctor takes or says, you know, any treatment can have any side effect.

So if you are going to sue me afterwards, therefore I will say that you chose the treatment. Now as the doctor shifts responsibility like that and puts all the responsibility on us, we would be in trouble. So the simple point I am making is that choice is not always freedom.

Choice is not always liberating. Choice can be paralysing. There is too much to choose from.

Then you just get caught. This fan goes round and round and round and there is nowhere. Like a fan which moves round and round and round.

It moves round and round and round but it doesn't go anywhere. So like that, when there is too much choice, our mind just keeps on this or this or this. एक चित्त विद्रान्ता बोह जाल समावत काता। सप्तः काम भोगेशी पतंदी मरकेशी। अनेक चित्त विद्रान्ता। Our consciousness gets pulled in many different directions.

So when we practise bhakti, bhakti gives us a set of default things in our life. So those default things enable us to channel our energies towards more constructive things. So sometimes the default thing, okay we follow certain rules, we have certain principles.

Then this may seem restrictive, but actually if you think deeply about it, this is not necessarily restrictive, it brings about focus. So how it brings about focus, that I will come back to a little later, but let me go to the next point now. So when we have certain things, when certain choices are made for us, that is not necessarily a loss of time.

And sometimes taking away, somebody is telling us to do this, don't do this, you may feel I am not getting free, I am not being free. But having too much freedom is not always a virtue. It can be a burden and it can be paralysing.

So now FRW, R is release. So I will talk about freedom in a different term, in terms of release over here. What it means is that we often think of freedom in terms of what I can do.

I want to eat this, I want to watch this, I want to go out with that person, I want to do this. We think of freedom primarily in terms of things that we are free to do. What we are free for.

But that is not the only definition of freedom. Freedom can also be defined as what we are free from. That is free for and free from.

What do I mean by free for, from? I am currently writing a book on addiction and spirituality with one devotee who is a re-addiction specialist. So in that connection, I have been reading about addiction. And it's quite a scary phenomenon.

The sheer number of people who are addicted in today's world, to various things. There is no precedent in the world. So I will tell you one incident that I read about.

And then I will come back to this notion of freedom for and freedom from. So there was this alcoholic, addicted to alcohol. One night he was sleeping and around 11-12, suddenly at 3 o'clock he woke up.

And he felt the urge to drink alcohol. And he got up, he went to his cupboard, his fridge and found alcohol was not there. A particular kind of wine he wanted to drink was not there.

And the whole night, this is in America. The whole night he went out, went to his car. And he got to the car and went to the nearest shop.

And as he was going along to the shop, his car broke down. His car was on oil. In the middle of the night, he was walking along, he went to that shop.

And he asked for that wine. And the wine was out of stock. Then he had to walk in the cold half a mile to another shop.

And he walked in the cold all the way, left his car right in the middle of the road somewhere. And then he went there, went to that shop and finally got the wine. And then, his desire was so strong, he just drank the wine.

And he was sick. His jaw is like, everyone just gulp it down. So, he just took it and started walking along.

And somehow, he slipped. The body had not closed the lid properly. So, the same wine just fell all over his body.

And he fell on the ground. He was lying right in the middle of the street. He looked around, all buildings all around him, all white streets.

Silent streets. What can I do? He said, that time, he is an alcoholic. He is now a recovering alcoholic, so he don't like alcohol.

At that time, at the very least, I am asleep. I could be peacefully sleeping in bed. There is desire for alcohol.

Drag me out of bed. Drag me on a cold night. Maybe, if somebody, when somebody comes out, if you are sleeping at night, this will be at 3 o'clock, 4 o'clock.

And somebody comes, let's go out for a walk. Are you crazy? It's so early in the morning and it's cold. If somebody else had told me to do this, I would have get lost.

But just because this desire comes from inside me, I am ready. What can I do? That is when I realised, that actually this alcohol addiction has got me bound. It has got me in clutches.

Normally, when we think of bondage or freedom, if we see a person who is bound by ropes, a prisoner or a criminal or a captive, a person is bound by ropes, so normal physical bondage, it makes us motionless. When we become bound, we become motionless. But that is not the only kind of bondage.

We may be bound by desires. And when we are bound by desires, the bondage by desires, it makes us not motionless, it makes us restless. It makes us restless.

When we are bound by desires, आशा पाशिषतये बद्धा, काम क्रोध परायण, इहने ते काम भोपातं, अन्याये नाख संचेजान। In 16.1, the Bhagavad Gita says, आशा पाश, आशा, desire is like a noose. It binds us and it drags us. पाशिषतये बद्धा, for hundreds of desires, one is bound.

And, dragged here, dragged there. So the bondage by desires is a bondage which is invisible and it is also not something which makes us, normally we think of bondage as that which makes us, restricts us in terms of not allowing us to move. But this bondage restricts us in terms of forcing us to move in certain directions.

So this bondage is like the puppeteer's strings. When a puppet is pulled by strings, the puppet seems to be free and it is nicely dancing also. And in youth, especially in adolescence and then after that in birth, these desires awaken in the body.

And suddenly our body changes, our mind changes and the desires allure us. They invite us to do this and be pleasure. You will enjoy.

Do this. You will enjoy. Do this.

You will enjoy. Yes, there may be some enjoyment but there is a bondage that comes with it. So addiction is a very peculiar psychological phenomenon.

It is a uniquely human phenomenon. In the sense that there are also animals also who get allured and trapped. For example, a fish is caught by a bait or a mouse may be caught by cheese in a mice trap.

But the fish and the mouse, they have excuses. The cheese or the whatever flesh that is there, it looks like food and they do not know in advance that this is a trap. We humans have neither of these excuses.

A cigarette does not look like food to anyone. Alcohol does not look like food to anyone. And who does not know that cigarette smoking is injurious to health? It is clearly a trap.

So why is that? It is because we have, we live in a culture that often exploits our lower desires. So I will go a little bit in psychology to talk about this. Sigmund Freud is considered to be the father of modern psychology.

And he had many ideas which were very speculative. Some of the ideas were, he tried to explain why everyone has a strong sexual urge. He had a very, he had a few more ideas.

When he was a small child, he had sexual attraction for his mother. And because of that, he thought that everybody has that particular complex. This is all the problems of the mind that people have.

That is because the childhood sexual attraction has been suppressed. And conversely he said that girls also have a sexual attraction to their mothers. This is, he might have had some perversion, but to universalise that is crazy.

But apart, he was in his own way brilliant. He wrote and spoke brilliantly. Now one of his ideas, so these are all very speculative ideas.

But one of his ideas was, he said we have intelligence and we have emotion. We have a rational side and we have an emotional side. But he said the rational side is like a small canoe.

You know canoes? Something which you use for navigating on a river or an ocean. And below that our emotional side is like a vast ocean. And if in an ocean the waves become stormy, then the canoe will be overturned and casted.

Like that, he said that if our emotions are activated, if emotions are aroused, then the same man, man in the gender neutral sense, the same man who normally acts rationally will end up being irrational. And he said many of the wars and all the terrible things that have happened throughout history are because people's irrational emotions have been activated. So now, he actually wrote it in a positive sense, in order to encourage human beings that you should use your rational intelligence.

But he was pessimistic about the capacity of people to truly use their rational intelligence. He said, if people's irrational emotions are activated, then they will act brilliantly. Because their rationality is threatened.

Unfortunately, his insights were exploited commercially by the advertising companies. Before 1920s, whatever advertisements were there, they were based on how good this product is. But after 1920s, the advertisers were based on how good this product will make you feel.

So it was all about triggering people's emotions. So now, for example, a cigarette advertisement. It's cool.

Well, how can fire be cool? It's not cool, you are a fool. But an image is made in such a way, it's cool, that's cool, you should take it, you should enjoy it. So perhaps the most egregious example of this kind of emotional manipulation happened in the 1920s.

In America, on the Independence Day, they have the Independence Day parade. So in 1929, when they had this parade, so at that time, the harms of cigarette smoking were not so much discovered. They had been discovered, but they had been suppressed by the cigarette giants.

Now still they have found that their market had reached saturation. Because all the young men who had the monetary power to smoke, they got more excited smoking. So at that time, we got a brain wave.

Evil brain wave, the brain wave is still there. How do you expand on it? 50% of the market is not expanding. Why? Women don't smoke.

So how do you get women to smoke? Cigarette smoking was seen as a very masculine activity. Then they decided to make a special kind of cigarette, more feminine kind of cigarette. And on this Independence Day parade, as the parade was going along, at the most visible points along the city, New York, they had some of the most famous female icons, Hollywood stars and other female icons.

They all flipped out cigarettes from their pockets. And they said, Oh, that's something great, man. It was a nascent state over there at that time.

And they asked, what is this? We are lighting the torches of freedom. So now at that time, the suffragette movement was gaining momentum. And the idea that women had been controlled and exploited by men for so long, and now we are becoming free.

So that emotion was tapped. And in the emotion, yes, we should be free. We should light the torch of freedom.

And thousands and thousands of women suddenly smoked. For no reason other than just to want to be free. And a decade or so later, the harms of smoking started coming up.

And especially the harms of smoking during pregnancy. Now it has started coming up. Many women have already stopped.

So here what happened? Once the emotion, this is a torch of freedom, and that emotion was activated, the rational question, how does lighting a torch lead to freedom? How does lighting a cigarette lead to freedom? That question was just swept away. Completely swept away. So we have today a dynasty propaganda, which tries to activate our irrational emotions.

And by activating our irrational emotions, they want to, one of my friends, he used to earlier work, before he became a devotee, he used to work in a cigarette company. And he told me, what is their strategy? This is a strategy for cigarette companies also, especially for drug peddlers. They say that, usually by the age of 17 or 18, young people, they decide which brand of cigarette they want to smoke.

So he said, the first 2-3 years, as they start coming to college, between 16, 17, 18, give them free cigarettes. Give them free drugs. And once they are hooked, you will have a customer, till they die of lung cancer.

It's all about that. And it is quite brutal. I am not saying the whole world is brutal like this, but some of the industries are very cynically manipulative.

And they systematically exploit our lower emotions. So if we think of freedom, only in terms of freedom to do something. There is freedom for, and there is freedom from.

So if we think only of freedom in terms of freedom for, then what will happen is, that many of our desires are shaped or even determined by today's corporate controlled media. Buy this, eat this, enjoy this. And this corporate controlled media, it will trigger so many desires, that we will think we are becoming free for something.

But we are actually ending up becoming bound by those desires. Which are alien to us. They are not really very important.

But we become bound by those desires. So the stronger a desire becomes, the more we indulge in a desire. When we indulge in a desire, it becomes stronger and stronger.

Each time we indulge in it, it's like there is an invisible rope between us and that particular object. Nowadays the biggest form of addiction in today's world is a form of addiction, which is totally intangible. That is form addiction.

There is completely unfiltered access to visual, abusive, offensive, and brutal impressions. The whole world of dirt is available through the internet. And millions of people are addicted to it.

And when people get addicted, there are whole books written, there are seminars done, there are courses done for all the addictions. And these people are not even spiritual. You may think, what's wrong? Once one gets addicted to manipulating images on a digital screen, one loses the capacity for having relationships with other people.

Because the images on the screen, one can control and dominate and do whatever one imagines in those images. But in real life, people are conscious humans. So, when we discuss the form addiction, thousands upon thousands of families are addicted to porn.

Because people are addicted to porn, they can't perform actual relationships. Now in all forms of addiction, porn addiction is especially insidious because it's everywhere. If somebody is to drink, somebody is to smoke, somebody is to take drugs, you have to have physical substance to pay for it, to go somewhere, and with internet available, with cell phones available.

It's a trap which is there anywhere it occurs. So addiction, once it consumes the mind, then, at the back, the background noise, you just can't focus on this. So we may think I am free for, I am becoming free for, I want to be free for, I want to be free for this.

But if we are free from certain things, it's a very empowering feeling. If somebody has never smoked, so this is the home, this is the college, and along the way there is an alcohol bar. The person who has never drunk alcohol, he said I am not going to drink alcohol, please go straight, I am not even noticing.

But a person who has drunk once, every time he passes that alcohol bar, maybe I can go and drink once. Maybe I can go and drink once. Add one, twice, thrice, then what happens? The desire becomes stronger.

And then even before the alcohol bar comes inside, one's mind is already there inside the bar. Maybe I can go and drink. As one indulges more and more, the rope becomes thicker.

So even before one comes out of the home, the mind is already inside the alcohol bar. So the desire, the drag is more and more. So every time you indulge in something, the desire becomes thicker and tighter.

Thicker means it's difficult to fight, and tighter means very strong. So, most of you have been born, brought up with some, fallen some regulative principles. Now these principles, at one level it may seem that we are deprived of pleasure.

But actually we are protected from this. There is pleasure, but the pleasure is to be shared. Avdre amritopamam, parinamem shivaya.

Krishna said in 18.38, the Bhagavad Gita that, there is a little pleasure in the beginning, there is an extra in the beginning. There is a long tale of point of view, which is not so easily visible, but which is very real. And, if we are free from something, that enables us to focus on things, which are much more positive.

You are much more productive. You can, let's say you go to school, or you go to work, you focus on your work, but if constantly at the back, I think I'm just going to go out and take a drink. Maybe I can go out, maybe I can go do that.

All those thoughts are there, pointing in the background, our energy is dissipated. So, the life of bhakti, releases us, from many unnecessary desires. And, that also brings us to earlier point of focus.

When we are released from unnecessary desires, we can focus on the important things. Like, is expression. Expression, F-R-E-E-X-P-E, expression means, sometimes, we may feel that, I just want to be myself.

Be yourself. Yes, we all want to be, who we naturally are. And that is good.

See, paradoxically, in the materialistic society, everybody talks about being yourself. But then, people become, people act almost like clones. Now, one thing becomes fashionable, and then this kind of, this kind of shirt, this kind of dress, this kind of hairstyle, everybody starts wearing it.

There is a British author, Oscar Wilde, he said that, fashion is a form of ugliness, so intolerable, that we have to change it every six months. So, normally, fashionable is considered beautiful. But, yeah, for some time it is considered beautiful, after it becomes old fashioned, then, it becomes such a negative situation, it is so old fashioned, we have to change it.

But then, the very thing which was thought of as a beautiful thing, it becomes a form of ugliness. And so intolerable, that we have to change it every six months. So, when we think of our, of our freedom, or our self-expression, in terms of extremes, what, how I dress, what I eat, or what kind of gadgets I wear, there are many things in which society may define, what you are, or your expression.

You express yourself. But, these are extremes, these don't define who you are. I saw an advertisement saying, you are your car.

You are your car. What kind of car you have, which financial bracket you belong to, and therefore, you are your car. Actually, you are your car.

This is Ahankaar. Ahankaar. So, Ahankaar is false ego.

Ahaam Kaar. I am my car. So, actually, solution, we are souls, and we have a body.

To identify with our body itself is bad enough. But, the body is a vehicle for us. To identify with the body, the vehicle is bad enough.

But, to identify with that, which is a vehicle for the body, we are welcome. That is illusion squared. Then, like, our self-identity, and self-worth, is tied to external things.

When our self-identity and self-worth, is tied to external things, that creates tremendous insecurity. How insecurity? Because with external things, can you be there today? Can you not be there today? So, if, if, I think, that my self-worth depends on, how much money I have, or how good I look, or such externals, even they go away. So, we may want external things.

We may want the best gadgets, the best, best clothes, or best, dress style, or hair style, or whatever. Now, these are okay. We may do those, but if we feel that, this defines who I am.

This expresses who I am. Then, what we don't realise is, that people may become attracted to us, but they are not attracted to us. They are attracted to things, connecting.

Somebody is wealthy, people are attracted to the wealthy person. But actually, they are not attracted to the wealthy person. They are attracted to the wealth, or the wealthy person.

Somebody is beautiful, now, as soon as they come into a room, everybody looks at them. Everybody admires them. But there, our goals, looks, are just for the, good admiration for the person, or is it just for the, body appearance? And, when we read our identity, our self-worth as externals, we create beauty for ourselves.

When we talk about expression, okay, who we internally are, we need to bring that out. Suppose, somebody wants to play music. And, while playing music, what happens? Now, if you are going to say, play sitar, or play harmonium, or any instrument.

Is it that, you go on stage, for the first time, you start playing, move your hand, and, I am expressing myself. Yes, we will be expressing ourselves, but we will be expressing our worst self. Isn't it? Actually, self-expression, if you see, most, many of the, good musicians, the best musicians, they all have their own styles.

But, that style, doesn't come automatically. So, the self-expression, doesn't come by automatic expression of the self. Real self-expression, comes by discipline, and purification.

For example, musicians, play sitar, play one sitar. This is not about practise. I am not practising.

I am just practising. We practise. And, practise means what? There is, essentially, purification.

Purification means, this is not the right sound, this is the right sound. This is not the right tune, this is the right tune. So, by that disciplining, that which is right, is brought out.

And, that which is not correct, that is filtered out. So, this we can easily understand, with respect to any skill. No skill in this world, we can say that, I start, and, as soon as I start, it will come out perfectly.

We need to practise. So, if we talk about self-expression, we do not want to express our worst self. We want to express our best self.

And, just as to do a good musical performance, we have to practise. And, practise essentially means, we select the right, and we reject the wrong. This is the right note, this is the wrong note.

So, focus and develop the right note, reject the wrong note. So, say, what applies to skills like music, also applies to our personality. It applies to our emotions.

It applies to our individuality. Now, within us, the Bhagavad Gita explains, that there is a lower self, and there is a higher self. The lower side, and there is a higher side.

Lower side is, lower side is, selfish, irritable, it is, insensitive, it is self-centred. The higher side, is noble, caring, gentle. The lower side, seeing the long term.

How many of you have seen the marshmallow experiment? Have you heard of the marshmallow experiment? Anyone else? No. Marshmallow, based on a first draft, by, psychologists, it's not good. I don't recommend it.

So that's it. Alright, here is the deal, marshmallow, cream, you either wait, I'll give you another one if you wait, or, I'll give you a different one. So I come back, and I'll give you another one.

So look, stay in here, and stay in the chair, and look about yourself in the mirror. I'm gonna go do something. The experiment is clear, they are told you can eat one immediately, and if you wait for 20 minutes you get one more.

It's really good. Okay, you can have it now or you can wait. Right? How is that? Oh my god, that's a bee.

That's a bee. I'm not scared. Take.

Alright. You can eat it right now if you want. Is it good? Does it explode in my mouth? This experiment basically was done and it was extensively reported, this was done at Princeton University and several other places and it was now, they traced these students, divided them into two groups, one is called grabbers and the other is the resistors.

Those who immediately took the mask off were the grabbers. Those who waited so that they could get to were the resistors and they traced their career 10 years down the line, 15 years down the line, 20 years down the line. And they found that 10 years down the line, those same children, there were only 4-5 year old children, they found that the children who were the resistors, they could take tasks and do them with greater responsibility.

They found that, three things they found, broadly speaking. One is, individually, they could take initiative and responsibility and do things much better. Secondly, whenever they were working in a group, they could deal with others in the group much more maturely.

They would not just blow off the handle, if somebody would not do the right thing. They would be less temperamental, more calm. And thirdly, when things would go wrong, when problems would come up, they would choke far lesser under pressure than would the grabbers.

And most tangibly, they found that consistently, the resistors, their average SAT score was 250 points more than that of the grabbers. So, Dr. Daniel Goldman, in his book called Emotional Intelligence, he analyses this and he says, what is the reason for this? He writes that, one of the most important determiners of success in life is the capacity to delay gratification of impulse. When we have an impulse, the grabbers, which is indulgent, resistors, they were able to delay it.

So, he says, in life, if we are in a group, if we are working on a project, there will be something challenging, the capacity to delay gratification of impulse, delay impulse, that is a very strong definer of success. Actually, this is not some old-fashioned religious teacher saying this. He is just cutting the psychological enemies.

So, actually, when I was talking about expression, just doing what we feel like doing, that is not necessarily going to bring out the best in us. Rather, just as when we practise, when we purify our music, when our best music comes the same way in our own life, in our own personality, then we discipline and purify ourselves. Then we become truly we.

There is a lower side within us, there is a higher side within us. You can say roughly, in the grabbers, the lower side is very strong. In the resistors, the higher side is strong.

So, bhakti, it is not just about doing some rituals, going to a temple. There is a lower side, there is a higher side within us. And Krishna is the highest one.

When we connect with Krishna, that connection with Krishna strengthens our higher self. When we chant his holy name, when we utter his holy words, when we study the Bhagavad Gita, this higher side gets nourished. When the higher side is nourished, then we will truly become our best self.

We can be the best that we can be. In whatever talents, whatever areas, whatever careers you pursue, you will actually become the best that you can be when you have that higher self change. So, expression or expression of our individuality comes best through our spirituality.

Expression of our individuality, it happens best through our spirituality. Without our spirituality, in the name of individuality, we often end up being the very things that the world dictates us to be. Be yourself.

What does that mean? Wear this kind of dress, ride this kind of car, purchase this kind of cell phone. These are very external. They don't define what you are.

Our inner talents, our inner interests, our inner abilities, they come out through a process of discipline and purification. And that's what bhakti is. So, in the Ramayana, it is described, most of you know the basic story of the Ramayana.

So, when Ram was exiled and Bharat came back, he was shocked to see what his mother had done. So, Bharat performed the last rites of Dashrath Maharaj. And when he was coming back to the palace, he along with his brother Satyaguna were coming back.

At that time, as they were coming along, some courtiers came and approached Bharat. He was the acting head of the state at that time. So, they were talking with him.

And Satyaguna went on towards their palace. All their palaces were in the same area. And they were passing by Kaikeyi's palace.

And there outside Mantara was there. Mantara was the person who had poisoned Kaikeyi. And Satyaguna saw that.

Mantara was dressed in expensive silk and many jewelled ornaments. And this was for a lady, Satyaguna inferred. This was the reward that Kaikeyi had given her for successful execution of the scheme.

All the anger and frustration that was there in Satyaguna. To see his own brother exiled, to see his father dead. All that came out of his mouth.

Charged at Mantara. And Mantara saw Satyaguna charging at him. She screeched and ran.

She ran straight into Kaikeyi's palace. Hoping that Kaikeyi will save him. But as she was running out of the palace, the door guard, he caught Mantara.

And he dragged her and he brought her to Satyaguna. She is the cause of the ocean of agony that has flooded all of Ayodhya. Catch her and punish her.

And Satyaguna caught her and started shaking her violently. And Mantara screamed and called for Kaikeyi. Kaikeyi came out.

And said, Satyaguna stop, what are you doing? Satyaguna was so angry, he paid no attention to her. That time, Kaikeyi's father was just coming from business. Kaikeyi ran towards him.

Tell Satyaguna to stop, what is he doing? Kaikeyi called him and told Satyaguna to stop. Satyaguna, what you are doing to Mantara, I have felt a hundred times that doing that. And not just to Mantara, but also to Kaikeyi.

Kaikeyi was shocked. He said, but if we hurt them in any way, Rama will be most displeased with us. And if Rama is displeased, he will refuse to come back to us.

Therefore, my love for Rama is greater than my anger at Mantara. That is the reason. Here is a profound principle.

The anger of Bharata and Satyaguna is justified. Entirely justified. But even if some emotion is justified, its expression does not always bring out a beneficial result.

Sometimes it can worsen the result. So, when we have… Oh, okay. So, when we are going through our life, there are certain people who bring out our lower emotions.

And there are certain people who bring out our higher emotions. For Kaikeyi, her lower emotions were brought out by Mantara. For Satyaguna, his higher emotions were brought out by Mantara.

So, the last part I want to talk about is empowerment. We have talked about expression. The last is empowerment.

Empowerment means that… One thing I said is that we have a battle within us. There is a lower self and a higher self. And our real authentic self expression is the expression of who we are when we choose our higher self and we become the best we can be.

Empowerment means when we are trying to be our best, there are higher forces that will help us. The higher forces are Senthil and Krishna. Here, Bharata and Satyaguna actually had anger.

But that lower emotion of anger, they were able to control by the higher emotion of love for Mahatma. Similarly, we will go through life. On many occasions, there will be emotions that will come very strongly.

Certain urges will come. And if we give in to those urges, we may ruin our relationships, we may make wrong choices and ruin our careers. And Satyaguna will need to persevere in something difficult, something challenging, a higher connection with Krishna to empower us.

What do we mean by empowerment here? The empowerment is not just physical. I conclude with two points now. This is the last one.

We often think of our schedule or our time. We say, okay, I want to practise. There are so many things to do.

And it's true, we all have a lot of time. But when we think about time, the availability of time, we often measure our time in terms of the activities that we have to do. Okay, morning I have to do this, then I have to go to college, then I have to go for this class, then I have to do this sort of activity.

And like that we think of our day. And that's a valid way of looking at time. But our time is consumed not just by our activities.

Our time is also consumed by our thoughts. So for example, if you're going to a class and say, your friend snubs you. Some friend is there, snubs you or insults you.

And insults us and then we go to the class, we'll be sitting in the class for one hour. In that one hour, all revenge fantasies are going in. Next time, I'll find a grand scheme and I'll snub him or her at that place.

Now, that incident happened in 10 or 15 seconds. Sometimes it can consume hours and hours of our time. And this snub is just one example.

There are so many things like that, where our thoughts go wild. And externally, we are doing some activity, but actually our time is not being consumed by that activity. Our time is consumed by that particular activity.

And so our time is often consumed by stray thoughts. Just thought which comes in from here, comes in from there and eats up our mind. So we have a book and we study, but our mind is going all over the universe.

Our mind can go all over the universe in the fastest spacecraft. It can go round and round. So empowerment, if we could discipline our thoughts, then in the very time that we have, we will be able to do much more.

Suppose we are in a class and our thoughts are going wild. In that time, we don't understand what is thought over there. Then we have to spend time again to study it.

So many times you see that if our thoughts are not regulated, then we spend time doing again the things which we did not do right in the first time. There are three possibilities. We did something first time, but we did not do it well enough.

That's why we have to spend some more time. Second is that we did something the first time, but we were not there at all. We did not do it at all.

Basically, physically, mentally we were not there. Third possibility, we did something, but we made a mess of the whole thing. There was some conflict with someone.

And while we went there and talked, at that time, because of uncontrolled mind, we talked in a way that it made the things worse. We have to spend far more time. That means we do something partially, so we have to complete it afterwards.

We don't do it at all, or we do it in a way that causes damage. We have to spend far more time. So essentially, we think of time in terms of our activity.

We need to think of time also in terms of our mentality. If I am doing an activity, but my mentality is not shaped good in that activity. If I am not tuned mentally to doing that activity, just being physically there will not help me much.

That will not be a proper investment of time. So, there is activity and there is productivity. And the link between activity and productivity is based on mentality.

So, we think of time in terms of only our activity, but if you don't have the mentality, that activity doesn't translate into productivity. Let us spend time again and again. But if we practise bhakti, if we chant the holy names, if we study the Bhagavad Gita, then our mentality becomes normal.

We, by connection with Krishna, experience inner peace, experience inner happiness. And then that enables us to focus. So, bhakti, again and again, it is not just about doing activities.

When we chant the holy names, we have to concentrate. It's difficult to concentrate. But if we concentrate, what happens is, we create an inner culture of mental focus.

And that culture of mental focus carries over to our other activities. And that's how, in whatever time we have, we become more productive. So, bhakti actually doesn't take away our time.

It restores the time which is taken away by our stray thoughts. Our stray thoughts consume our time. And bhakti helps us to claim that time.

And that time, bhakti actually gives us time. So, that way we become empowered. Krishna himself, we can't control our mind, but when we focus on Krishna, Krishna empowers us to control our mind.

And when he empowers us, we can do wonderful things. Martin Luther King said that we live in an age of guided missiles and misguided men. We have tremendous capacity to control the outer world.

But we don't have the capacity to control the inner world. And that capacity to control the inner world comes from spirituality, comes from bhakti. So, you will be, whatever you are doing in your life, you will be able to do it much better if you practise it.

So, the topic was, why practise bhakti when we are young? So, the idea behind that was that okay, bhakti is something you have practised in the old age. But that is based on the notion that bhakti is something we are doing for our future life. But, if we understand bhakti properly, then bhakti will enable us to do better what we are doing, what we are going to do in our life.

It will enable us to become better human beings, better achievers, better contributors to our family, to our society, and ultimately, the world of self-destruction. So, I'll summarise. I talked about, if you have to understand bhakti, I talked about how my introduction was intellectual, to the disappointment and the emptiness of material achievements.

When there is cultural introduction to bhakti, then for it to be sustainable, we can't live on borrowed ideas. We need to make our own decision. And that decision requires intelligence.

So, one of the objections that we may feel to the practising bhakti, it's self-improvement. Then we discussed about freedom, FRW. What is that? Do you remember? Focus.

We discussed how in a mobile, if we had to enter all the parameters for a message each time, it would consume our time away from typing the message. So, certain default settings enable us to get on with the importance. So, like that, bhakti creates certain default settings for us.

Bhakti culture provides a default setting by which we can focus on more important things in our life. Then, R was what I spent a lot of time on. R was what? Release.

Release means, when we think of freedom in terms of freedom for doing certain things. But freedom from certain things, release from certain things, that is also freedom. I discussed about torches of freedom.

And Sigmund Freud, how he, his ideas were exploited by the advertising industry to activate our irrational emotions and thereby overpower our rationality. So, many of the things that we say, I want to be free for these things, those are not our inner desires, those are the desires created by the corporate control media. And then such desires actually make us slaves.

I am talking about that alcoholic, he fell in the middle of the night while going for a bottle of wine. And then, so there is, the physical bondage makes us motionless, the mental bondage, the bondage of desires makes us restless. It is not a prisoner shackle, it is a perpetual strings, ventriloquy.

And, addiction is a big problem in today's world. And if we are released from many desires, from superfluous desires, we will be able to do much more now. Then, we are expressing expression.

So, to express our individuality, we need to discipline and edify us. Just as nobody can just go on a harmonious carousel, hardly start playing well, we have to say, similarly, with respect to our inner personality, our inner qualities, who we are essentially, then the lower self within us is regulated, in the higher self expresses itself. And that, that cleansing, that purification happens through that.

And then, related to the expression of empowerment, empowerment essentially, expression meant that, we have, we do the choosing. This is my higher side, this is my lower side, I want to bring out my higher side. But empowerment meant, that in bringing out our higher side, we get higher help from Krishna.

I talked about the story of, Kshatrughna in Bharata. And how, remembering, that their love for Ram, was greater than their anger at, at their enemy. Similarly, there will be lower emotions, that will be triggered in our life.

But if we have a higher connection, which we have association, we have friends, we have relationships, that bring out our higher emotions. And ultimately, the best such relationship, is a relationship with Krishna. And that, will enable us, to focus, and be productive.

And in connection with empowerment, I talked about, how our time is taken, not just for activity, it is taken, as thoughts. And, our activity, transformed into productivity, when there is a right mentality. And the capacity, to regulate our thoughts, and cultivate the right mentality, comes from the practise of bhakti.

So bhakti, is not something, which we do in the old age. Rather, we can build in you, so that in our life, whatever we aspire to do, we can do it, more effectively. So what we are, is God's gift to us.

What we become, is our gift to God. Thank you very much, for your kind attention, and for the long talk. Do you have any questions? And of course, I don't need to repeat, about the mask, when you test me.

I don't remember that. No. So you mentioned, about the thing, in this age, we have to, try to, be, thinking, that we truly, are a productive people.

We also don't want, to listen to our wishes. That's why, when we don't want to, get input from others, and we want to, find out also, how do we sharpen, our intelligence, in the right way, to stop us, from doing, what we have done. So, in adolescence, and teenage, we usually don't want, to listen to others, and we want to explore.

At the same time, how can we use, sharpen our intelligence, to be, to make right choices. Yeah, it's a, it's a very tough age, because of the adolescence. Important thing is, that, rather than, thinking of things that, I am doing this, because my elders are telling me, or because someone else is telling me, we recognise that, okay, if I don't want to listen to my elders, am I truly acting freely, because, then I am listening to my peers, I am listening to the media.

So, there is a famous story, there is a Guru, who would say that, you know, you don't need any Guru at all, don't listen to anyone. So, he came to Prabhupada, one young man, who came to Prabhupada, so and so Swami says, that, no, don't follow, you don't need to follow anyone. Prabhupada asked him, why are you following him? He is saying, don't follow anyone, and you are following him, and you are saying, don't follow anyone.

So, the fact is, we can't avoid ourselves, we always follow someone. The question is, whom do we follow? So, the challenge happens because, you know, there are, say our parents, or our elders, or whoever they are, they are, they have been free, since the beginning of our life, we are connected with them, and, when we have our peers and others, there is a newness to the whole thing, you know, I can have some new experiences, I can explore some things, and, because of that, we may feel that, okay, this, this guide, I don't want to follow, this, I will follow. The first thing is to recognise, that there is no way, that we can avoid following someone.

Once we recognise that, it's not that this is, this is restriction, this is freedom. No, for every life, we are actually following someone else, right. We have to check, who is more reliable, who is more trustworthy, and, wanting to explore, experience new things is natural.

But then, if we, rather than plunging into something ourselves, if we have some specific, issues, you know, maybe what, what is wrong with doing this? So, we need some, some, friend circle, maybe some senior devotees, or whoever, who, who can non-judge, who will, non-judgementally answer our questions. So, if you go and ask someone, hey, you are thinking like this, you start judging them, then you shouldn't go. So, we need that kind of association.

Maybe if we have one or two devotees like that, it's okay. You know, Prabhupada was asked, sometime, you are saying that, you shouldn't take drugs, but have you taken drugs yourself? You have not taken drugs, on what authority can you say that, drugs are not allowed? So, Prabhupada said, I have never taken drugs, but my disciples have taken. And he asked them to tell.

Yes, by taking drugs, we go high for some time, but then after that, we come crashing down. Whereas, by practising spirituality, we go higher, we keep going higher and higher. So, we don't have to necessarily, ourselves, experience everything.

You see, this idea that, you should experience yourself. Well, in this world, there are millions of things. What all are we going to experience? We can't, we can't just, spend our whole life, experiencing everything, that is there to be experienced.

We make choices all the time. So, we have to, use our own God-given intelligence, and find out, those guides, whom we can trust. That may take some time.

And we have to do a little bit of, research. It's the, faith can never be legislated. I am your guide, and you have to obey me.

Well, I may obey like that, till I get my freedom. And afterwards, there is often rebellion. So, we ourselves, among, the devotee circles, among devotee friends, we can find out, someone, whom we feel, we can connect with, and then take guidance from them.

And overall, using our intelligence, is important. So, in general, if any impulse comes, to do something, it is, we may, if we say no, it's very difficult. We just say, later.

And delay it, to think about it. It is a, and then by that time, you can think, deliberate, and quite often, that impulse will go away. So, as a few days went, recognising that, there is no freedom from authority, finding out a reliable authority, and like it was shown in this film, delaying impulse.

So, if we do that, then we will be able to, sharpen our intelligence, and make right choices. Conclusion? Conclusion. Any other questions? Thank you all very much, for your time and attention.

Yes ma'am. Prabhu, you said that, Bhagavad Gita respects, human intelligence, and human diligence. I really like that quote, that Krishna says, Krishna tells Arjuna, that I have told you everything, that I have to tell you now, to decide, what course of action, you need to take.

So, when we are helping, someone else, in making life choices, in changing habits, or whatever, how do we balance, between, these different approaches, to be more directive, or be, more, non-directive, or in fact, trust that, and let them know, that this is what, this is what, the principles are, and now you decide, what you need to do. But, when we deal with humans, it's not very straightforward, everyone's very different, and, some people have different approaches, that okay, if you don't tell people, what they need to do, they won't do that. So, what is, how do you think, that you think about, that balance? How do we actually, go, guide others, I mean, people are different, some people, would like to be told clearly, some people, may not like to be told, so clearly.

Yeah, the basic principle is, that, we can't control others, we can do basically, three things for others, we can, share knowledge, we can provide facilities, and we can set example, in moulding, anyone else's behaviour, there are only three things we can do, knowledge, facilities and inspiration, that means, okay, if somebody wants to do a particular activity, we can do that, we can do this, this will happen, this will happen, and, we provide knowledge, that's the first thing we can do, second is, provide facilities, so for example, a, let's say, we want young people to, practise spirituality, but if we ask them to come for a programme, where everybody is 60 years old, no, no one of their age, how long can they continue, so some like minded, some of the same age group, similar group, provide facilities basically, young children, young people will practise spirituality, in a way different from, middle aged people, different from elderly people, so this, facilitation is very important, and third is, second example, this is, something which, is, subtle, but a very important way of, reaching out, especially, when, when we are very small, at that time, the parents are like gods for us, but then as we start growing up, we basically go through phases, first is that, parents are our everything, and then, it is, when we come to the adolescence, it is almost like, the parents are nothing, there is, it is, we have elevated them, just from a child, to a big level, and then we find that they are, they also have their faults, they also have their limitations, and, become very disappointed, but then, the maturation is, through, as you slowly come out of adolescence, start realising, yes, they have their faults, still they love me, still they have done a lot for me, and they are, they do care for me, so that is the phase, which we all go through, so now, in the, setting an example means, where the parents, basically, I think we are just talking about parenting here, but the principle applies, there is basically, any kind, there is, in any relationship, where there is a, there is a, you could say a guardian, and a ward, or a guard, some sort of relationship like that, vertical relationship in some way, there is, of showing love, and there is often discipline, both are there, so if there is, there are some kinds of parents, who offer neither love nor discipline, when the parents are watching TV, and the parents give a TV set for their child also, you watch your TV, I watch my TV, so these are negligent parents, so no love, no discipline, that is negligence, there are some parents, who offer only love, no discipline, they are, they are permissive parents, you want this, take this, you want this, take this, take this one, take that top, whatever you want, and the problem with this is, sometimes parents say, all that I did not get, I will give you, whatever I did not get, I will give it to you, which is, I feel it sounds nice, but the problem with that is, a part of growing up, is learning to take note for an answer, life is not going to say yes all the time, so the parents, are always saying yes to everything the child says, the child develops an expectation, I will get what I want, life does not get what I want, the child says, I will take it, so, there is discipline also, there is freedom, but if there is only, if there is only love, and no discipline, then that is very permissive, and that does not work for a long time, on the other hand, sometimes there is only discipline, and no love, do this, do not do this, do this, do not do this, then that is, authoritarian parenting, where the children will obey for some time, but then they will rebel and go, as soon as they get their freedom, and, where there is love, as well as discipline, that is, authoritative parenting, that means, parents, they offer love, at the same time, discipline is offered in a way, that is, explaining, you should not do this, because of this, this, you should do this, because of this, this, so, regarding the specific extent, or the specific combination of love and discipline, that will be there, that will vary according to individual to individual, and, just by observing others, and seeing how they react, we basically, I have to observe and learn, and, it is not that, in any relationship, there is a standard formula, but, by observing, if you learn, then gradually, we start seeing, that this person, needs more encouragement, sometimes, somebody is discouraged, and, at that time, we chastise them, then they will become completely deflated, so, that time, they need encouragement, somebody, somebody is over enthusiastic, at that time, we may need to bring that feedback on the ground, so, according to time, place, the exact, how love and discipline are balanced, that will have to be decided, so, broadly, like, we, connect ourselves with Krishna well, with our bhakti, then, Krishna gives the intelligence, about how best we can act in our relationships, thank you very much, last question, so, you were saying that, the talkers world now, they are very cynical, and, they are, they are, do it towards, a negative side of things, so, they want more profit, they want to improve, they want you to, what is your, I mean, they want you to be, in the sense of, so, as a devotee, how do you, establish yourself, and, see, so, just like, you are a boss, they are saying that, if you go to a pub, they are, like, they are having fun, or, you talk, and, then, they are saying that, they are, I mean, they are a good person, that's what, so, how do you, so, when we show, like, a style, like, being aversion, aversive to forth finding, and humble, or submissive, and all these, then, they take that to be something bad, and, they even look upon us, so, how do we balance it, and draw a line? In a corporate environment, sometimes, people, expect us, to do, all the materialistic things, that they are doing, and, if we don't, then, they start, labelling us, and, we get, how can we, function, such a way? We, shouldn't divide, the world, simply, into devotees, and non-devotees, so, that is one division, which is valid, but, even among non-devotees, there are people, who are individuals, there are people in passion, there are people, who are individuals, and, yes, people in passion, may be more, but, even among non-devotees, there are people, who are individuals, and, one of the advantages, of, you could say, post-modern culture, modern culture, was very, science-centred, post-modern culture, is much more, individual-centred, you do your own thing, so, one of the advantages, of post-modern culture, is that, actually, people, usually, mind their own business, as long as, you are not, encroaching, my territory, you do what you want, I'll do what I want, so, if we are living a life, of principles, people may push us, a little bit, but, if you resist, that initially, people will resist, the way this question is, and, most importantly, in the corporate world, it's performance, that is seen, so, if you are good, at our job, then, people don't really, mind, it doesn't matter so much, what others are doing, what we do in our, other time, or how much we socialise, or we don't socialise, so, regarding, specifically, what all, we engage in, or what all, we don't engage in, in the corporate, that will vary, according to individual trend, sometimes, we may go for a party, we may get a vegetarian food, over there, or we bring our own food, or whatever, but, it's, basically, that, we wouldn't, bother, what people, think about me, if we knew, how literally, people thought about me, what that means is, if I do this, what will people, think of me, what will she think of me, now, people have their own, life to do, people have their own, problems to deal with, so, we can turn it other way, you know, we observe someone, they say, something doesn't make sense, why they are behaving, but, how much time, do we spend, thinking about them, they say, we have our own, life to live, they have their own, life to live, so, sometimes, we create, a far greater complex, if I do this, what will others, think about me, so, we are convinced, of certain principles, we, know those principles, and, people, are not really, having so much, free time, to think about, everyone else, and, label them, even if, they are noble, as in particular, if, we are, professionals, we are functioning, properly, then, their label, will also change, naturally, so, as devotees, actually, even in the thought world, the sati qualities, are appreciated, there are many people, who gossip, but, there are also people, who like, when something doesn't, gossip, because, I can process it, so, sometimes, their admiration, may be, not direct, they may feel, I can't become, like such a person, but they admire, so, we can, try to, associate more, with the sattvic people, and, even if there are, few people like that, we create a group, bond more with them, and, overall, if we live our principles, people will start seeing, okay, this person is different, but if you are doing, our job well, and we are courteous, we are overall friendly, this person is different, he or she is a nice person, so, we don't have to, adopt, their definitions of enjoyment, we can just, and do the work, which we are doing over there, and, overall, they will see, this is how I am, and they will, come to, terms with it, if we, think that, others have to like me, then, we are setting ourselves up, for misery, because, there will be some people, who like us, some people, who will not like us, and, that's the way, the world is going, no matter, what we do, see, what to speak of, non-divided circle, even in divided circle, everyone is not, going to like us, it's not that, people can actually, dislike us, but still, that, natural bonding, which is there, can happen with some people, that doesn't happen, with some people, so, you see, don't worry too much, about what others think, focus on, we do what, we are supposed to do, so, just a couple, of announcements, before, we take Prasadam, as I mentioned,.