How do we gain trust while interacting with unknown people?

Transcript

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so how do we build a trust with unknown people? as I said basically focus on the common points this is Hanuman and Ram Sita and Hanuman the common point was Ram so some ways if we meet a new person if they are from the same state where we are from then we speak in a common language that creates some bond with us or if we work in the same company then there is some commonality if we may be in the same profession even if not in the same company that creates commonality so basically there is a circle of our interests circle of things which concern us and circle of things which concern them we find the common point that’s how we move forward that’s how any relationship can grow otherwise sometimes we meet people and if we don’t know what to talk we just make small talk so sometimes we may go to get together and 10 people all of them ask, the weather is good today, isn’t it? weather is good today so we just make you talk it’s okay as a starting point but we should speak not because we have to say something but because we have something to say so in general if you just come a little bit out of our walks and try to think about what is it that is of concern to this person which is also of my interest so generally one of the easiest ways to build trust with people is to ask them about their interests if you don’t know what their interests are then just ask them about themselves so when we ask them about themselves and they may be reserved in speaking initially but they speak a few things and then we can find out what is it that is common between us so basically in every interaction if it’s not just a functional interaction you go to a shop and buy something it’s functional but it’s something that we want to develop a relationship so then we have to find out what their interests are and then check where their interest correlates with our interest so if we take the time to hear basically love or respect or affection it can be conveyed in many different ways but the beginning of doing it all is two things to hear and to understand to hear what this person has to say and then not just hear the words to try to fit it into our world view to understand in the whole Bhagavad Gita the first chapter is Arjuna speaking to Krishna so Arjuna is pouring out his heart and throughout all Krishna just hears and Krishna understands what Arjuna is going through and then later on when Krishna speaks Arjuna is ready to hear because Krishna is Krishna has heard out Arjuna’s case so basically when we understand that doesn’t necessarily mean we have to accept what they are saying they may have some understanding which may not be exactly correct or their opinion may be different from ours but at least we understand and we show them that we understand suppose we go to a doctor and even before we speak anything the doctor gives a prescription what? what do you mean? let me tell my symptoms I know your symptoms now even if the doctor is expert enough just to look at a patient and understand what the symptoms are still the point is not just to give a prescription the point of the doctor’s interaction with the patient is also to inspire the patient to take the prescription and for that that inspiration to be there in the patient, the patient has to feel heard and understood this is my problem and the doctor understands my problem so if the doctor although in a sense it is the patient who needs the doctor and in that sense the patient has to put that trust but the doctor has to earn that trust doctor has to understand so hear and understand and after that when the doctor speaks the patient okay patient will be more receptive to accepting it similarly for us in general when we interact with others the first thing we can do is hear and understand if we do that, that itself is a significant step forward in not necessarily winning their trust but at least beginning the process for earning their trust sometimes we just when we are interacting with an entirely new person it is like entering into darkness so we don’t even know what is going to come next but one sure way by which we can turn on the light whenever there is darkness is just ask them about themselves and to the extent they speak we hear and we understand then to that extent the light starts coming and then we can find the common areas answer your question?