How can we avoid prajalpa and still maintain relationship with devotees with whom we have indulged in prajalpa in the past?

Transcript

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question how can we avoid prajapa and at the same time maintain our relationship with devotees with whom we had earlier indulged in prajapa because if we go in that association and they dislike it that we insist on not doing prajapa and if we don’t want prajapa then we have to stay away from the association and that can affect our relationships in the long run in a negative way answer Vishwanath Chitrakoot says in his commentary in the Vrilar Mara section that even when we have this association with devotees we should simulate the association that is uplifting for our consciousness every devotee we should respect but we should associate closely with those devotees who uplift our consciousness and with some devotees we find that their behavior is in some ways not proper according to what is the devotional recognition and it has a negative effect on our consciousness then we can respect those devotees from a distance so now avoiding prajapa is a fundamental principle of devotional service in fact Swami Varma unambiguously that it will cause our bhakti to be destroyed so therefore we must avoid prajapa and if that causes us to forces us to become distanced from a certain association then it is a serious question whether that association was really a devotional association it was association of devotees it was not necessarily a devotional association, devotees can also associate on various terms they can associate on mundane terms they can even associate on derisive terms, they can associate on blasphemous terms they have some common common anger against some other devotee so now we should always assume that we are right and that they are wrong it may well be that the other devotees also don’t want to do prajapa but they either don’t realize that it is prajapa or they don’t have any other topic to talk about or that they don’t appreciate what we are doing so if it is the case where they don’t realize that it is prajapa then maybe we can clarify with some senior devotees maybe in a common class where those devotees are also present and try to get a clear understanding of what is prajapa so sometimes discussing if we are in a project and there are some problems with the project then discussing those problems is not necessarily prajapa but if the discussion is done in a way in which everybody is complaining about everyone others and there is no attempt towards finding a solution and especially that involves just either mundane jokes or jokes about a certain devotee that we don’t like basically if it is not centered on serving Krishna or improving our service to Krishna then it is quite likely to be prajapa so sometimes we may just assume that something is prajapa and it may not actually be prajapa so it is good that we get the definition clarified, what would constitute prajapa and what would not and if we find that it is prajapa and if others are not aware that what they are doing is prajapa then telling them in a discreet yet clear way, that means to somebody else, to some senior devotee that may itself solve the problem second case could be that because the momentum of the past habit is there, so that’s why whenever some devotee congregate, they naturally want to do prajapa so we can find out whether we we can inject some other thoughts so if we have read something heard something, they have heard something, it may require some conscious re-disciplining because that might be a habit that has been there for some time, so maybe at some other time we can plan so whenever we meet now can we decide that all of us will speak one point which we have read or heard recently which you have inspired and that way we can discuss Krishna Pathan we can make our conversations more spiritually centered so in many cases it is, this sort of efforts will work because very few people come to Krishna Consciousness to go, to not practice the principles of Krishna Consciousness they also want to practice but we may feel that we are if we are just talking about Krishna all the time then that is just we are being sort of having a pure devotee syndrome we are artificially pretending to be more advanced than what we are and we also need to relax by talking about other things yes we need to relax but that doesn’t mean that we have to talk about things which are critical or blasphemous or which are in the zone of prajapa so if we can create some alternative subjects for discussion then that can benefit the whole sangha and it is not necessarily pure devotee syndrome because pure devotee syndrome means we pretend to be a more advanced devotee than what we are and especially when we claim credit for being more advanced than what we are I expect to be respected by others because I am such an advanced devotee and I may claim that that I am such an advanced devotee but there is a difference between the pure devotee syndrome and there is a attempt to practice serious devotional service so not talking prajapa, it is not a pure devotee syndrome it is just an attempt to practice serious devotional service as has been given in the scriptures so generally these two steps itself should solve most of the problems inserting a new subject for discussion but even after this if it doesn’t work then maybe it is safer for our consciousness to associate with some other group of devotees or to associate in smaller groups when there is a big group then controlling the discussion becomes quite difficult even directing the discussion in particular becomes difficult so we can still have some but we can have it on a smaller basis maybe one to one or only one or two devotees together, bigger group then things become can sometimes go down the drain very fast so we may just create either change the association itself or change the forum that we are associating smaller one to one then we can still have the association but without the contamination that was happening in the earlier association and basically this doesn’t mean that we are criticizing those devotees or we are demeaning those devotees it’s just that we understand that Krishna is gone and Krishna consciousness is meant to cure us and we are all like in a hospital we are patients so now the people have sicknesses the sicknesses may also impel certain people to behave in certain ways personally and that may also aggravate the disease in themselves and others, so we have recognized the gravity of the disease and we want to cure it but others may not feel so strongly inspired to cure it right now so it’s not that they are sick and we are healthy both of us are sick but we are just required to recognize the need for help and are striving for getting help and it may well be that in some other areas those devotees may be more serious than us, those devotees may be more advanced than us also so the important point is even when we keep a distance from devotees it is not that we are saying that you are less serious and I am more serious that could be true also but we don’t have to communicate like that or do we have to feel like that, we just have to say that what is Anupul to me and what is Pratikul to me so when we select certain association and stay away from certain association that is not necessarily a statement about that association it could be but it is primarily a statement of our need so I need a certain kind of association so Anupul desi Pratikul desi Pratikul desi Pratikul so other devotees it may be happening that they talk Prajabha for a few minutes and then that’s over for them and then they move forward to other things but it may happen that when I am talking to Prajalba, my Prajalba thoughts stay in my mind for a long time and then they agitate me so, if that is happening to me then I am not judging the other devotees for what they are doing I am evaluating what is suitable for me for my healthy practice and devotional service that way, even when we keep a distance that keeping a distance doesn’t make us look down on those other devotees nor do we think that I am more advanced it is just that my devotional needs are different and I need to satisfy my devotional needs so that I can advance steadily and recover spiritually so whatever is required for that, I will do that and if that requires highly readjusting my associations that also I should be ready for so in general, we have these three steps first is clarify the definition of Prajalba for ourselves and others so that we don’t misunderstand that something is Prajalba when it is not and others don’t think that it is not Prajalba when it is and second is that insert some new topics for discussion and try to make the atmosphere such that other people feel encouraged for more Krishna Yuga and third is otherwise, readjust the form of association or the association itself so that we are not affected by Prajalba and we can do that readjustment not in a judgemental or a proud way but in a humble way knowing that this is what is favorable for me and as far as other devotees may be feeling hurt or taking grudges because of our keeping a distance is concerned there are other ways in which we can show our respect, affection and attitude towards the devotees may be on their birthday we give some gift may be whenever they do something good we appreciate them remember and specifically appreciate them for something good that they have done in devotional service and we can be cordial with them at other times so by this we make it clear that we are sort of separating the person from the top now I like you as a person but this kind of behavior this kind of behavior I find it troubling so it’s not a judgment about you it’s more of a my need so if there are other forms where we can express our appreciation for devotees and we do that then we won’t face this problem of the devotees holding grudges and sometimes in spite of our best efforts if some devotees hold grudges also then we need to understand that we can’t help that we tried what we could to make sure that Krishna that we had Krishna conscious association but if the association was not Krishna conscious then what could we do so we can try as much as possible to avoid negative feelings but if for the practice of causative devotional service some negative feelings are created in someone and those are unavoidable then we have to recognize that that is just the price that we have to pay for advancing in devotional service and it is not an offense generally when we generally it’s an offense only when we have a conscious intention to malign and minimize other devotees if that is not our intention in general we should try to avoid hurting any devotee but that is not always possible because we are limited and sometimes we may have multiple demands on our schedules so we cannot avoid that but if our intention is not to minimize a devotee then if somehow that devotee feels hurt by our practice of devotional service then that’s not an offense and even we can try to avoid that also but in some cases if we are not able to avoid that we should just pray to Krishna that Krishna give that devotee right understanding and move forward in our devotional service